hisharley

Birdy on the barbie

   Tim Drake, also known as the Boy Wonder, Robin was tossed upon a large plank table in front of The Joker. The young kid was tied up in thick ropes and a trick handkerchief was stuffed in his mouth. He was a special gift brought courtesy of his darling, Harley. “Gotta say, kiddo, it’s kind of funny my Pooh was the one that got the drop on you.  That’s why kids your age can’t be out so late at night. Can’t be too careful with all those weirdoes around. Heh! Heh!”

  Tim tried to break loose of the ropes around his wrists and feet, but they were cinched together like a cow at a rodeo. “Not gonna work, Bird Boy,” chuckled Harley. “Double knotted those sucka’s. My puddin’ wouldn’t like it if tonight’s entrée escaped early before suppa’.”

   Joker grabbed a cooking apron that said KILL THE COOK from the kitchen hook and tied it around his waist. “Robin fricassee! Coming right up! HAHAHAHA! Harley! Fetch me my marinade!”

   Harley stepped in the kitchen with a can of gasoline. “Here ya go, Cheffy!” Joker gave her a little love peck on the cheek and poured a little bit of gas on Robin. “Best not breathe in this stuff, kid. Hear it’s not good for you.”

    He set the gas can back on the counter and grabbed a book full of matches. “Ya know, this almost seems too easy. But, I got to know. What is ol’ Batsy to you? Mentor? Father? Big brother? Registered Child Predator? I’m sure Chris Hanson would have a field day with him!” Joker scrapped the heads of the matches on his heel, setting them all aflame. “Dinner’s ready, Pipsqueek!”

    Before Joker set the matches to the young captive, a flying projectile hit Joker square in the chest and sent him to the ground. It was a baton of some sort. In flew the previous Boy Wonder, Dick Grayson now Nightwing.

   “Let ‘em go, sick shit. He’s with me!” He managed to sneak in the through the sky light and taken out Joker’s thugs.

  “Well, ain’t that all cute,” said Harley. “I forgot to mention my dogs are avid bird lovers. BABIES!!!”

  Bud and Lou, her loyal hyenas charged in and ran for Nightwing. From his belt, he rapidly grabbed and  tossed two sedative darts, hitting both ferocious pets in the neck. They were unconscious just as quick.

   “NO! YOU HURT MY BABIES!” cried Harley. She darted and somerkicked her way to Nightwing. He went down, but leg swept her after getting his bearings. She tripped and bumped her head on the counter.

 “You raise some ugly kids, Harl,” snided Nightwing. He glared at Joker’s direction.

   “Hey, it was the girl’s idea! I just live here. Heh!” He shuffled backwards, only to trip on the baton. He slid back and crashed into his pantry. The force knocked over some pots and pans, and landed on his noggin. A giant soup pot sat over his head.

   Nightwing untied Robin and secured him. He took a whiff of the gasoline. “Whew, you stink, Tim.”

  “You’re telling me,” said Robin. “Can we just get home so I can shower? Both my clothes and my pride are ruined tonight.” Nightwing grabbed on to Tim as he grappled both of them to safety, leaving the two crooks to wallow in their defeat.

hisharley-deactivated20121104  asked:

Just think sweetie, once you've rid of b-man we can live happily ever after!

I knooooow! Just think of us! Lil rugrats running around, stabbing and biting each other. You, in the kitchen, baking us all pies of banana and maybe some cyanide for the little skamps. Me, newspaper in hand, cutting out the obituary of Batman. I can see you now singing around the house,  "Far from Park Row, I dream we’ll go, somewhere that’s…greeeeeeeen!“ (like the gal from Little Shop of Horrors) Heh!

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