Preference #12 - You Join The Band - Part 2 - Requested
“I can’t believe you were a girl this entire time!” Ashton had said once he’d found out. “I was wondering why I liked spending time with you so much…” He’d gone on to continue. With those words when he found out, somehow it came to be that we were together but my true identity was still a secret.
“Ashton…” I said sitting up and poking his cheek one morning. We’d started sharing hotel rooms a lot more and sometimes we’d even share a bunk in the bus. He groaned while someone pounded on the door.
“Come on guys! We have to go!” Calum called harshly through the door. My blood ran cold. They were totally and completely going to find out.
“Ashton!” I cried shoving him but he was passed out.
“Whoa mate, you got a girl?” I heard Michael’s voice outside the room.
“Did Y/G/N seriously let you have a girl there overnight?” Luke asked the other two.
“Ashton for the love of God! Wake up!” I said pushing him. He tumbled out of the bed.
“What the hell…. Ow!” He said pointedly glaring at me when his eyes finally popped open.
“They’re at the door you idiot!” I whisper-yelled. His eyes got wide.
“Get in the shower. Now.” He said pulling me out of the bed and I jumped into the bathroom locking the door and starting the water. With my ear pressed to the door, I listened as Ashton got the door.
“Hey guys, what do you want?” Ashton said with a slurred, tired voice.
“We came here to get your lazy ass up since even Michael was up before you. But now we want to know what happened in here last night.” Calum said and I knew Ashton had to be giving him some kind of sassy look.
“Stuff happened.” Ash replied.
“Rated X stuff?” Michael asked.
“None of your business.” Ashton snapped.
“I just wanted to live vicariously through you.” Michael said with a sigh.
“Where’s Y/G/N?” Luke asked.
“How should I know?” Ashton replied.
“’Cause he’s not here and we couldn’t find him at breakfast, the pool or in the gym.” Calum answered.
“It’s not my job to keep track of him.” Ashton said coldly.
“Try to keep track of your bandmates man, at least on days we have a show.” Calum sighed.
“Can I meet the girl that’s here?” Michael asked jumping in.
“No.” Ashton said sharply.
“Come on!” Michael whined.
“Oh for the love of god.” I breathed turning the water off. I reached my hand toward the door knob steeling my nerves before I opened it.
“Hey guys,” I said to them in my normal voice for the first time.
“Hey…” They all said slowly while they studied. Ashton had a look of utter terror and panic on his face.
“What’s your name?” Luke asked kindly after a minute. Michael and Calum gave me suspicious looks.
“It’s Y/N or Y/G/N. Either one.” I said and all of them then got looks of complete surprise.
“You’re a girl!?” They said together. I nodded.
“And Ashton kept you all to his self?” Michael said rounding on him.
“That’s what you’re concerned with?” Ashton cried.
“Everything else I’m still processing.” Michael shrugged.
“You’ve been dressing as a guy this whole time?” Luke asked. I nodded turning my head down.
“Yeah… It hasn’t been easy doing it and lying to you.” I said sadly.
“You know, I don’t really care.” Calum suddenly said. Everyone looked to him.
“But this means you’ll have to be a lot more involved with song writing, to add that touch and you’ll probably still have to be a guy on stage. Other than that, don’t care.” He explained.
“I can do that!” I said eagerly. Maybe things would be easier now that they knew my secret.
“Come on baby…” Calum murmured against my collarbone once again attaching his lips to my skin. I had to dig my teeth hard into my lip to keep from moaning out loud. I couldn’t make a sound. We were both in his bunk on the tour bus and if I made much more of a sound than a sigh, we’d be found out and I’d be done for. At least we had managed to get to the tour without any of the others or the management team finding out I was a girl. It was going well, except during the nights. It went well when we were at the hotels since we could easily put on the deadbolt and have at it without worrying about the other guys. On the tour bus it was harder, in the bunks all we had was a curtain and there was no way to ensure it couldn’t be opened.
“Calum….” I whispered cautioning him. The second I had slipped into his bunk, he’d been all over me even though I was still in my guys clothes. He was working to remove them as fast as possible.
“I can’t wait until we’re at the hotel tomorrow.” He whispered smoothly working to undo the bandages around my chest and the wig slipped from my hair easily. To be fair, I loved the moments I got when I was treated like a girl, not like one of the guys. I liked knowing Calum couldn’t keep his hands off of me. No, I loved knowing that.
I just didn’t like doing it when the only thing protecting my secret was a curtain on a bus.
“Hey Calum…” I heard Michael call and I knew he was approaching the bunk. I scrambled around. No way I could get the bandages back on or the wig so what the bloody fuck do I do? Calum had least stopped working on stripping me in my panic. I scrambled in turn over him to the far side of the bed, the side far away from the curtain as Calum hastily pulled the blanket over me. I can’t even begin to try to tell you how fast my heart was beating. Calum shoved the bandages and wig under with me just in time for Michael to pull open the curtain.
“Dude, you’ve got sex hair. Hate to interrupt but we want to know what you want for food.” Michael said ribbing Calum before getting to the point.
“I don’t care. Since you know you’re interrupting, leave now.” Calum said hurriedly, trying to get Michael away as soon as possible.
“Hold on, just let me see who you’re with.” Michael said and I heard their hands swatting at each other. “Wait, this is Y/G/N’s sweatshirt and I don’t even see girl’s clothes. Calum mate, you’re gay?” Michael said his voice suddenly dropping down to a serious level.
“I am not gay!” Calum said defensively, loudly.
“Then who are you with?” Michael said and then he suddenly ripped back the covers from covering me and I was exposed in just my sports bra and jeans. Calum moved to shield me as Michael looked down blankly. “Y/G/N?” Michael cried out in a burst a moment later, once the shock had worn off. Within seconds, Luke and Ashton were peering over Michael’s shoulders down at me.
“Ok, let me explain.” I said moving to climb out over Calum. I pulled on a shirt and we all went to the back lounge.
“I told you I wasn’t gay.” Calum muttered as he walked.
“Shut up!” Michael snapped. “So clearly you’re not Y/G/N, so
what is your name?”
“It’s Y/N.” I said meekly, waiting for them to get pissed. All of them were staring down at me curious.
“Explain.” Ashton said putting down his banana as we sat down.
“I just, I just wanted to be in the band and I knew you wouldn’t let a girl in because you’re all guys, the distraction factor, your fans and everything so I crossed dressed. I loved making music with you guys and I didn’t want to stop. Really, I didn’t even think that I could make it anyway and I did and well… When we were back in London Calum found out but he kept my secret for me…” I said omitting the part where Calum and I started hooking up around then…
“And you started hooking up.” Michael said for me. Calum and I both nodded shyly.
“And you didn’t think you could trust us or something?” Luke said shaking his head in disbelief.
“I thought I’d get kicked out of the band to be honest.” I said and he sighed.
“If you had auditioned as a guy, I do doubt that we would have let you into the band but we can’t lose you now.” Ashton said.
“But what about the fans?” I asked.
“You’ll have to dress like a guy in public.” Michael said and Calum groaned.
“It’s weird seeing her dressed as a guy though!” He complained and the others chuckled before getting serious again.
“We could always say he quit the band and his twin joined us or something.” Luke suggested.
“This isn’t a movie, Luke.” Michael scoffed.
“It’s not impossible. Just do like a Keek and some tweets explaining that Y/G/N left and then that his sister, with similar music ability joined up, simple.” Luke said.
“I mean it could work I guess, but we’ll have to finish out the tour first.” Ashton said and everyone nodded.
So I guess I will be coming out, in a sense at least.
“I want to go public.” Michael said suddenly in a management interview butting in. I snapped my attention to him. He didn’t mean…
“Michael…” I said slowly.
“We can figure out some way to do it.” He said firmly.
“What’s going public?” I heard Luke whisper to Calum next to me.
“Us.” Michael said lifting our clasped hands that had been resting on the table. Since we weren’t in front the fans, there was no need to hide anything.
“You mean…” Ashton said slowly.
“It’s not the contract.” The manager said quickly.
“My contract does say I have to be a guy in public…” I whispered to Michael. He shook his head.
“Doesn’t stipulate shit about me. I say if you want me to continue to be in the band, she comes out and we go public. I’m so sick of hiding, plus…” Michael turned to me in the middle of his impassioned statement. “I know keeping everything a secret between us is hurting you.” He said in a much softer, kinder voice.
So in part he was doing this to me, so I could stop lying.
I glanced at the manager. He was clearly reaching the conclusion that he couldn’t lose Michael and the other guys were already starting to take Michael’s side. He threw his hands up.
“We are not going to say that Y/G/N is Y/N though. We are going to say that Y/G/N left the band but Y/N joined the band under Michael’s recommendation. Later your relationship can come out. One step at a time.” The manager conceded.
“Deal.” Michael said.
“I’ll start drafting the statement. Give me some time to make it perfect. For now, Y/G/N will stop being associated with 5SOS. He’s officially, although without public statement, out of the band.” He continued. I nodded.
A couple months later, while people were still wondering where Y/G/N went, I was standing back stage about to make my first appearance with the band.
My stomach was attacking itself and I felt more shaky than I ever had before. Somehow going on stage as Y/G/N was more secure so I didn’t get stage fright. Now was another story.
“Hey Y/N.” Michael said coming up to me while I looked out at them dismantling the opening act’s stage and putting up ours.
“Hi.” I said holding my hands so tight my nails dug into my hand.
“Don’t be nervous. I’ll be with you ok?” He said and I sighed nodding slightly.
“I know I shouldn’t be nervous but I keep thinking that all the fans are going to hate me.” I confessed.
“I think they’ll be more jealous than actually hating you. If you just help us make really good music and put on great shows, they’ll eventually accept you and then we can work on them accepting us, ok?” Michael said sliding his hand into mine.
“Can we really do this?” I asked looking at him.
“Totally. I mean, we got this far.” He said gesturing to the full arena beyond the curtains.
“I guess you’re right…” I trailed off.
“Hey, now you can show them the real you. No more regrets.” He said and I nodded. I steeled my nervous once again before I stepped out into the limelight as myself for the first time.
I stepped out of the shower in the hotel room. Luke was tweeting on the bed. I dried off and changed into leggings and one of his shirts walking back out into the hotel room using the towel to dry my hair.
“You look a lot better like that.” He commented looking up at me as he set his phone down on the bed.
“I kind of wish you could see me in something pretty…” I sighed climbing on the bed I would share with him.
“I think you look pretty.” He said as I nestled against his chest on the bed.
“I don’t but I’ll accept the compliment.” I said wrapping my arms around his torso.
“I wish I could show you off to the guys like this.” He murmured wrapping his arms around me putting his nose in my hair. I sighed. The weirdest parts were when he had to treat me like one of the guys. Talk about multiple personality disorder. In one world I am his bandmate and in another world I was his girlfriend.
“I just wish we could be like this all the time.” I breathed. It was just a comment but I didn’t expect him to take me serious.
“Ok, now I’m going to call the guys here.” Luke said slipping away from me on the bed and grabbing his phone. A minute later the guys were knocking on the door.
“What is it?” Calum asked walking in.
“I want you to meet my girlfriend, Y/N.” Luke said and they rushed further back into the room.
“Damn, she’s pretty.” Michael said appreciatively.
“How’d you manage to keep her from us?” Calum asked in the same tone.
“Isn’t Y/G/N staying here?” Ashton asked looking around the room.
“Look at Y/N.” Luke replied. I was just watching them and I didn’t talk.
“Wait…” Ashton said leaning in super close to my face. “Y/G/N? You’re a girl?” Ashton said.
“Yeah… You wanted guys in the band so I dressed up but when I got really bad symptoms from my period Luke found out and we sort started super secretly dating. I didn’t like lying but I got to be in the band and I loved hanging out with you but it’s still the fact that I lied to you so I don’t know what you’re going to do. I can quit the band.” I offered.
“Maybe you should, after the tour.” Ashton said sadly.
“It’s ok.” I said sadly as well. Luke’s hand slipped into mine comforting me if only a little.
“You can just be Luke’s boyfriend.” Calum said with a small
“It’s fine. I am so sorry I lied to you.” I said and they all smiled at me.
“If anything, I’m impressed. You managed to keep it from the three of us even though we live on a tour bus and live together.” Michael said obviously impressed.
“I’m impressed too, I’m so horny but I didn’t even pick up on your pheromones.” Calum said.
“I didn’t even realize you were experiencing period pains…” Ashton murmured.
“Do not get me started…” I sighed shaking my head.
“And I fell for you.” Luke whispered right into my ear. A shiver ran down my spine.
“And I am so happy you did.” I whispered back.
“Oh, now they’re going to act couple-y.” Michael groaned.
“Damn straight, I have a girlfriend and you don’t.” Luke taunted him.
“Who cross dresses regularly.” Michael replied.
“And I can tell you she’s really hot.” Luke said defensively.
“I am happy you are attracted to your own girlfriend buddy.” Calum said laughing.
“I hate you all.” Luke murmured.
“Do you hate me?” I muttered to him teasingly.
“No, but I might hate Y/G/N just a bit.” Luke said pulling in for a kiss on the cheek.
“I guess that’s fine…” I whispered.
“And now you can feel free to be a girl in front of us!” Michael said broadly.
“Why do I feel like you mean that in a dirty way?” I said giggling as I leaned closer to Michael.
“Because maybe I did mean it in a dirty way.” Michael said with a wink before everyone burst into laughter.
Maybe I wouldn’t still be in the band, but at least it looked like I could keep my friends.