his tie has a mustache on it

anonymous asked:

Could I pretty please 🙏🏼 request a friends-to-lovers with Jin?????💖

find jungkook (here), jimin (here) , namjoon (here) & yoongi (here) ~

  • you first meet because of mutual friend hoseok who’s hosting an party at his place 
  • accompanied by lots of music, food, dancing but also,,,,,his living room is packed with people waiting their turn to play mario kart on the new tv hoseok got
  • and like,,,,you’re excited to beat anyone who dares challenge you because,,,,,tbh,,,,,ur Really Good at this game. esp as mario,,,,,that’s ur boy
  • but when u go up,,,,the person you’re going up against,,,,,,picks,,,,,,mario,,,,,and so do u
  • and u both look at each other and ur like,,,,,my Mario is superior and the boy is like “please, people around here call me mariojin,,,,instead of seokjin,,,,,because mama mIA am i good at playing as him”
  • and ur like HMPH we’ll see
  • and ofc,,,,the rest of the night consists of a u and jin epic mario kart battle on hoseok’s wii u and people even gather around to watch and maybe taehyung starts taking bets u never know
  • but in the end it’s a tie,,,,,,and u and jin are still bickering over who is better that hoseok literally has to push u two out of his apartment and be like take this lovers quarrel out of my home 
  • even tho u and jin are not lovers u just met but tbh u two can’t just leave it in peace,,,,you have to find out,,,,,so you end up exchanging numbers and making a promise to meet up soon and figure out WHO is finally the better mario. worthy of the great mustache 
  • and u,,,,,,do meet up with jin,,,,but like more than once and at some point it isn’t about the battle between u two it’s just that u guys have a lot in common aside from games!!! and when you get together jin is always showing u pics of his dog and ur like telling him about this new dish u tried over the weekend and ,,,,it becomes a friendship based on competitive mario kart games and mutual interest in each others hobbies
  • you know,,,,,,,,a normal friendship
  • until it’s not normal anymore,,,,because u both find yourselfs at another party,,,,but this time it’s a wedding party,,,,,for someone you both know
  • and hoseok’s there too and when u and jin sit beside each other at the ceremony hoseok turns around and whispers behind his hand “you guys should try and catch the bouquet since ur obviously the next ones to be married ;-)”
  • and u and jin are like whAt are u talking about and hoseok’s like when people meet because they fight,,,,,,it usually means love will come in the end
  • and with that he turns back and watches the wedding and ur sitting beside jin,,,,,,who btw looks amazing in a suit,,,,,,,like u didn’t pay much attention until u see him from the corner of ur eye and hoseok’s voice rings in ur head
  • and jin,,,,,has always been attractive,,,,,but he cleans up so well in a fitted blazer and collard shirt not to mention the way his tie is just loose enough to kind of look,,,,,,sexy on him
  • and ur like no no no this is the dude u play mario kart and get dorky with,,,,,,,,,,,that’s totally nOT,,,,boyfriend material
  • EXCEPT IT IS iT one HUNDREd p ERCent is
  • and u cant belive it as ur all getting up to clap as the wedding couple comes laughing down the aisle that ur realizing ur feelings for jin right at this momenT LIKE how CORNY
  • but also,,,,u glance at jin who smiles at u and ur heart sinks a bit because,,,,he obviously didnt take hoseoks words to heart like u did
  • but as ur going over to the catering stall as everyone around u gets ready for the after party u feel someone grab ur wrist
  • and jin turns u around and he’s like “hey,,,,do u want to sit together?” and ur like sure,,,,,,,slightly sighing until u realize jin is leading u away from the masses of guests
  • and to behind a building where suddenly ur alone and it’s quiet and jin goes 
  • “so,,,,we didn’t catch the bouquet but,,,,do u want to see if hoseok was right?”
  • and u feel ur face get red and ur like ,,,w,,what do u mean and jin,,,,,who is usually either sassing u over a game or doing that squishy smile of his suddenly looks much more,,,,,mature
  • eyes serious and pretty lips parted and ur like,,,,,,,,,,swallowing the lump in ur throat
  • while jin is just like “i can’t believe ur going to make me say it, but do you want to make out at this wedding and see where it goes?”
  • and ur like ok,,,,,,,,,,,,YES
  • and u basically fall into each other with absolutely no shame and it’s great. it’s spectacular. jin can kiss even better than he can play games which is sAYing soMETHING
  • and ur messy hair and jin’s abandoned tie tell hoseok everything he needs to know when u guys go back and sit at his table and he’s just like “hmm, invite me to the wedding guys!”
  • and u and jin are like SHUT but also ,,,,,ur holding hands under the table 

vexchief  asked:

Wait. What do you mean by “Ken Levine going so out of his way to pretend BioShock 2 never happened that he broke his own canon”?

Well @sir-adamus also pointed out Levine’s other reason was to keep people from expanding on Infinite as well, but yeah Levine reeeaaally doesn’t want to acknowledge B2 exists because he wasn’t involved with it.

Here’s a list of some of the things he broke in his own canon:

1) The imprinting between Big Daddies and Little Sisters.

There was an ENTIRE LEVEL in BioShock dedicated to how it works, how Little Sisters are taught to see Big Daddies as “Mr Bubbles” through psychological conditioning and a specific pheromone/scent the Big Daddies have. Big Daddies are humans who are grafted and fused into their suits and also get the mental conditioning to make them into what they are.

BioShock 2 introduced the Alpha Series, where the Alpha Daddies had a father-daughter bond conditioned between them and an assigned Little Sister. Then to give reason why it didn’t come up in BioShock, the father-daughter bond turned out to be REALLY FUCKING BAD if something happened to the Sister, ranging from the Alpha Daddy completely shutting down to going on a massive rampage. Thus Rapture went with the Protector-Charge imprinted bond between future BDs and LSs, because Big Daddies could still function if they lost their Little Sister, and could stick with ANY sister rather than just the one.

Burial at Sea then goes on to say the imprint was the “Lion with a thorn in its paw” cause, to close a loop between Rapture and Columbia. Songbird’s imprint on Elizabeth was triggered by an act of kindness when Comstock & Co. set up a scenario of him crashing into the tower. Then Levine wrote how the same applied to ALL Big Daddies and Little Sisters because BDs are a hive mind apparently.

We had an ENTIRE LEVEL on how the protector-charge bond was forcibly conditioned on both parties, regardless of if you take BioShock 2 into account. It’s like Levine was going the extra mile to take that back and say “it was simple kindness” just to make a closed circle between Liz and Rapture. Maybe not him actively ignoring B2, but B2 ALSO had a level going into depth of the horrific conditioning of Little Sisters and part of its plot WAS to do with a stronger induced bond between a BD and LS. just sayin’.

2) Fontaine had a dressing room for switching to Atlas. Even though he made sure he was believed to be long dead before switching to his identity as Atlas. The “BioShock: Rapture” tie-in novel even explained that Fontaine went to Steinman for surgical tweaks to his face so people wouldn’t look at him and go “That’s Fontaine with hair and no mustache”, and Steinman also did surgery on one of Fontaine’s men to make him look like Fontaine. Y'know, so their proof in a time prior to the forensics of today their proof that Fontaine was dead was a corpse with his face on it.

Why would Fontaine have a dressing room. He faked his own death, he has no reason to switch between Fontaine and Atlas, even for comfort’s sake, when it is a big risk of Atlas’ followers learning the truth. Diane, Ryan’s ex, only found out Atlas was Fontaine when she stumbled in on him recording a diary in his Brooklyn accent. WHY WOULD FONTAINE NEED A DRESSING ROOM. HE CAN HARDLY CREATE MANY NEW IDENTITIES BECAUSE RAPTURE WAS INVITATION-ONLY AND ANYONE RYAN DIDN’T RECOGNISE ON THE INVITE LIST GETS THE SPY TREATMENT. THAT’S WHY ATLAS PISSED HIM OFF SO MUCH.

The dressing room p much served as a means for Liz to go “huh well i’ll be damned” and that was it. Maybe doesn’t break canon as much as Atlas’ hair changing colour, but still leaves either a big fucking hole or just makes Fontaine look a lot less clever.

3) Why would Fontaine not have choice over his own trigger-phrase? Why leave it to Suchong? Fontaine’s doesn’t trust people, he uses them. Jack is a big risk with a massive payoff and Fontaine just lets Suchong have some control beyond “grow the thing”? All to have Liz “close the loop” and give him the phrase between flashes of the future and whatnot. Again, Fontaine is looking less clever, Levine.

4) when the fuck did Fontaine have a department store the size of an entire building

5) Big Daddies, if we take BioShock 2 as canon as well, were already known and functional by New Year’s Eve. So much so there was already a Hypnosis plasmid that could work on Big Daddies, from the intro with Subject Delta.

6) Rapture was not turned into a warzone wasteland overnight. Unrest and damage to the city was a pretty slow burn, and wasn’t directly caused by one person starting trouble. Some places would probably be pristine but Rapture was springing leaks and full of spliced up people by New Year’s and citizens adopted the “Keep Calm and Ignore The Fuckery” approach. Atlas was gaining followers BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE SICK OF THE CITY FALLING APART BOTH AS A SOCIETY AND AS A LITERAL LEAKING TUB AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN.

There’s other points i’m sure but really I’ll just bring up a massive rage ball in the pit of my stomach.

tl:dr Levine broke his own canon to be petty and you should go play Minerva’s Den because it is best DLC for its contained story and it actually has Tenenbaum in it.

Ego Stimming Headcanons!

(arranged from a brainstorming session with @egoiplier-shenanigans​ prompted by this ask. Not sure how the read more’s behaving on mobile.)


-The Host rocks in his chair while narrating or writing at his desk. Especially in the pauses where he’s trying to come up with the right word to use.

-He’ll hum to himself and softly repeat the syllables of his favorite words, savoring they way they feel rolling off his tongue.

-Host loves the feel and smell of his books, and keeps several in his trenchcoat. The extra weight applies a comforting pressure to his shoulders.

-The bandage around his eyes is soft and wound just tight enough. He tries his best to keep it clean and dry.

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ive been playing a lot of games on my phone lately which means seeing a lot of ads for games and i downloaded one just because the quality of the graphics was like uncomfortably high. like it’s a basic candy crush style “swap two pieces to make a line and they vanish” game but couched inside this narrative of this really gay looking butler named austin returning to and redecorating his childhood home???? like it’s 3D animated and has a short film ish quality opening…. not like pixar mind you but like…. knock off dreamworks bargain bin level maybe? but more fluid in motion??? idk its so weird like its way too high quality for a simple phone game its so weird to play fkdkdsjsksjs but this dude is bald and has a mustache and wears suspenders and a bow tie and has a pet cat and parrot so obviously i have to help him decorate

Plush Hearts- Mark

(Hey look @sweetapple01 I wrote Mark’s dolls… I didn’t do all of his egos cause that would have taken an eternity to write. Just know his dolls are much more active than Sean’s are):

Mark had never been one for toys such as dolls and such. He liked board games and books and sometimes the rare video game his dad would buy him.

However, when his father died of cancer and left him a large box of the toys he doesn’t like, he could not deny them in any case.

His mother had brought them home after the funeral, telling him of how his father’s will had told them to leave Mark with this box. He grows confused because why would his dad leave something like this in his will for Mark?

He only grows more confused of the dolls when he opens the box in his room, finding each of the dolls to look similar to him in their own way. It was… a little unnerving to say the least.

He decides to go through them, wanting to see each that is in the box.

The first he pulls out is probably by far his favorite and kindest looking one he has- a kingly dressed plush. It has on a red robe and a large crown sewn to it’s head. A thick squirrel tail is attached to its back as well and a smile is sewn to its face. Mark already knows what he wants to call it:

“You must be the King of the Squirrels!” he exclaimed, continuing to look it up and down. He blinks multiple times when he thinks he sees it wink at him a moment. He brushes this aside, however, because why would it be able to wink? It’s got button eyes. He sets it down nearby because he’s still got the others to look at.

The next doll is made of plastic and reminds him of an action figure with the way he can reposition its limbs. It’s got both a pink fringe of hair and a pink mustache and wears the same colored suspenders holding up a pair of baggy tan pants. The shirt it has on a white button up shirt and a red bow tie. In one hand is a small golden gun and a sharp knife in the other. He can remove both items but decides not to- he doesn’t want to loose the tiny pieces. He has an idea of what he wants to call this one already after staring at it for only a few seconds.

“How does Wilford sound to you?” he asked it even though it cannot answer him. He turns it in his hand, looks at the pink mustache. “Maybe your last name could have somethin to do with staches.”

Not sure of what it’s last name could be yet, he sets it next to the King.

As he reaches his hand in for the next one a cold suddenly runs up from his finger tips to his elbow. He shivers and momentarily yanks his hand from the bo, glancing back in at the doll that had given this effect. A perfectly made and formally dressed marionette scowls back up at him, eyes made to look too terribly life like. He presses his lips into a thin line and decides to grab the small control stick to lift it from the box.

This one’s skin is pale- an almost grey shade. Its eyes are an even darker brown than Mark’s- basically black. Its lips are drawn down in a cruel scowl and he doesn’t like it looking at him.

He lays it out on its stomach, not wanting it to continue staring at him for much longer.

He grabs onto another non plush and finds it to be made of glass. It looks to be a doctor type of man, a white lab coat around his shoulders and a head mirror on his forehead. He has a serious look on his face and his non-movable arms are angled for a clipboard in his hand for him to see. And when Mark squints his eyes to read the words on the fake paper clipped on, he finds it to say: “I’m sorry, you’re dying”. He has to stifle a laugh because he finds it so amusing.

He carefully places the doctor beside Wilford. He doesn’t know what he’s going to name it yet. Something fitting, though. That’s why he wants to think about it.

The next one feels like another stuff plush. Like the marionette, it has on a suit. But he has a much more friendly expression- a large grin . His black hair is slicked back and he has a pair of glasses propped on his nose. He finds that there is a button on his chest. Expecting some kind of voice or music, he presses it. He frowns when there’s no sound. Though, in one hand he does hold a small microphone. So, some kind of announcer. Mark does actually have a name for this one, a little nickname he uses on himself whenever he’s being a show announcer for hiw brother Tom.

“Your name is Bim Trimmer!” Mark informs and decides to try and press the button one more time.

He’s surprised it actually works this time.

“I’M Bim Trimmer!” the doll shouts loudly and with gusto.  Mark is so shocked but honestly he decides to not question the strangeness of it.

He places Bim beside Wilford and King and continues.

He grabs onto what feels to be another plush. Though this one has more thick and hard stuffing- the limbs are stiff from what he can feel. He pulls it out and it wears a brown and white striped button up shirt. Its hair is slicked back much like Bim’s and it has a smirk on its face. In one hand it holds a baseball bat- in the other is what looks to be a quill. So, this one likes to write? Well, that’s what Mark assumes because people who write hold quills and such.

“I’ll call you the Author right now,” Mark decides, poking its face. He places it with the others.

There are two dolls left and the next one he grabs is harder than the others and feels cold and like metal. When he pulls it out his eyes widen. It’s a miniature robot. It has one a blue shirt with a large white g in the center and has on blue jeans. It’s eyes look to be clear but when he presses a button on its back and it turns on they glow a bright blue. He has to place it down because it’s moving so much in his hold now. It turns its eyes on him and he shivers because it looks and moves so real.

“Hello,” it greeted and its voice sounds like Bim’s but more mechanical. “I am the Google Bot- a toy for young children.”

Mark names it Google and quickly shuts it off. It had been too weird for him.

The last one is the most strangely dressed of the dolls. And, it feels like it’s made of thin ceramic. It wears what appears to be a Japanese school outfit for the girls- skirt and everything. It’s even holding a katana. But he believes he’s seen what people call the girls dressed like this- yanderes.

“I guess I’ll call you Yandere,” he said with a shrug.

Once Yandere is set down he looks back over all of the dolls he now has, frowning as he stares at the only unfriendly looking one there- the marionette. He hasn’t named it yet but he knows what he wants to call it.

“You’re going to be called Dark because you’re freaking creepy,” Mark decided, not even picking it up to tell it its name. He looks at the doctor and remembers a word he liked to speak of with his dad. “You’ll be called Dr. Iplier, best doctor in the world.”

Now that they’re all named, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with them. Well, he should probably take them to his room. He places them all in the box and carries it to his room. He sets it on his bed to look through it and grows confused when three are missing. He doesn’t like how Dark isn’t there anymore…. Wilford and Author aren’t, either, then again.

He goes back to the living room but they’re not there either. When he goes back into his room he nearly screams when he finds Dark hanging by the control stick on the fan, now smiling almost evilly down at him.

“Right…” Mark breathed, staring fearfully at the marionette. “You are not staying! Even if Dad did give you to me.”

He then proceeds to grab Dark, open the window and throw it as far as he can. He turns and actually screams this time when he finds it in the exact same spot, glaring at him now.

“I swear to god if I’m in a horror movie now…” he muttered and inches as quickly as he can from the room.

Later that day he finds the Author sitting on a bookshelf with a book opened. It’s sitting on top of the open pages and its head is angled down like its reading. Mark grabs the book that it’s sitting on and takes it to the room, leaving the Author with its book.

He then finds Wilford in the pantry, leaning against a cookie jar. “You have a sweet tooth don’t you?” he asked it, grabbing it and a cookie. He carries it back into his room and Dark is on his bed now, Author laying on a new book. Yandere is on his dresser and Google is at his crappy computer. Great. He’s got moving dolls.

What fun.

anonymous asked:

Any nsfw headcanons for Wilford and Google?

i have a few! 💖


  • can tie cherry stems with his tongue.
  • he gets quite a rush after a kill and loves the look of blood on himself.
  • has the biggest kink for roleplay and dress up.
  • will model underwear, panties, stockings, anything for you.
  • his mustache tickles and he loves kissing his partner everywhere. he loves listening to them laugh before he blows a raspberry on their stomach.
  • will worship his partner’s thighs like no tomorrow! he loves kissing at the inner part of them.
  • thinks that being intimate should be a private thing and always has sex in the bedroom with lighted candles and sometimes he puts on slow and quiet music in the background.
  • afterwards, he becomes quite clingy and holds his partner close in his arms before he dozes off.


  • i headcanon goog as being a robot/ai, so he doesn’t necessarily have a real dick. he’s basically a dildo with feelings.
  • he learns through experience and immediately stores in his memory banks just which parts of his partner like to be touched and what their kinks are.
  • watches porn to gain knowledge on certain positions and tactics for his partner’s pleasure. (wilford actually caught him once)
  • is both dominant and submissive, depending on what his owner/partner wants him to be.
  • always compliments his partner after they finish, saying that he had a nice time and if his partner wanted to go again, he wouldn’t protest.
  • if goog had to pick a kink that he enjoyed, it would be that he enjoys having his partner’s arms wrapped around his shoulders. it makes him feel close and wanted.
  • constantly and always checks in and asks if they’re doing alright.
An Upright Citizen - Adoribull

So a few days ago, maybe weeks, I had a thought that inspired some really adorable additions and a lovely strip by nisuma. You can find the post and some of the comments here. <3

I hope it lives up to the awesome art. XD


Focus is a dangerous thing.

It permits innovation, progress, the birth of something real and wholly unique at the hands of all manner of people. But it does so through a certain ignorance: tunnel vision.

Which is how Dorian has managed to find himself coming down from a stroke of genius perched atop a lampione like a fashion-forward pigeon.

“I suppose I can just…” He turns a bit, attempting to slink along the support, but his boot slips on the metal and he aborts the thought with a short burst of hysterical laughter and a tightened grip.

Has the ground always looked so painful?

Getting down on his own is right out.

A quick check of his phone tells him that his battery died during his latest creative binge, and he left his mobile charger at the apartment. So, no calling in the cavalry.

But he is not going to sit at the top of a bloody street light and yowl for help like a helpless cat.


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Hair Routines

So my Truth or Dare post seemed to be fairly well received! I really liked making that one and I joked in another post about Thorne’s hair routine, and here we are. I kind of want to extend this to morning routines?? But IDK. Let me know.

Cinder: Obviously those messy ponytails that are mentioned about a million times. In terms of washing, she has to wash her hair every other day or so to keep it from getting too greasy. She learned to do it fast because Adri constantly pestered her for taking too long or raising the water bill.

Kai: As prince and emperor, he has to always look good, so he does all kinds of stuff. Shampoo, conditioner, gel, split end protection, whatever. Even more complicated than Thorne’s daily rituals. Haircut-wise, he was adamant about keeping his hair longish, because that’s how his mother liked his hair. 

Scarlet: She has to brush her hair. Every. Single. Night. Curly hair and farmwork do not mix (I’m assuming. I don’t have curly hair so…). Her grandmother used to brush her hair for her, and before that her mother. Most evenings after dinner and chores she makes Wolf do it, or he’ll offer. Often he will brush as she tells him about her day or how the crew is doing. He brushes as gently as possible. Also, she owns pretty much every curly hair product known to man. Occasionally wears a braid or two on heavy farm work days. 

Wolf: Owns exactly one comb and one bottle of shampoo. His hair hates laying flat and he sometimes has to borrow something from Scarlet.

Cress: After living for years on the satellite with her ridiculously long hair, she tries to keep her hair as low maintenance as possible. She keeps it just long enough to tie back when she visits hot places or needs it out of her face.

Thorne: SO. MUCH. PRODUCT. His hair could literally be hit with a rock and NOT MOVE. He and Kai trade hair tips and tricks (Kaiswell, anyone?). He constantly has a military style haircut and NO facial hair because they didn’t allow that when he was a cadet. Plus, his dad has a big bushy mustache, and Thorne doesn’t want to be associated or even look remotely close to his father.

Winter: Her hair routine is fairly simple. Levana didn’t allow her a lot of staff so she did a lot herself, learning from the netscreen in her room. Before her dad died, he also taught her how to wash and braid her hair properly. When Winter and Cinder were kids, they would do each others’ hair, so Winter got some practice. Sometimes braids Scarlet’s hair when they’re together since she understands curly hair.

Jacin: He does very little with his hair. All the guards had pretty much the same haircut and style. Like they even had to have all their ponytails at the same place or they would all get in trouble. Basically all he does is wash it, comb it straight, and maybe tie it back.

Iko: Even though she’s an android, she LOVES experimenting with crazy hairstyles. Sometimes she even wears wigs. She also uses her netlink to look up new hairstyles or techniques to try on the girls (and the guys). She and Cinder have a standing salon date every week. Cinder fake hates it but secretly she enjoys having that to look forward too, especially during really stressful weeks. If any of the other girls are in town they join. Iko has two specific salons, one on Earth and one on Luna, depending on where they are. She is loyal to them and refuses to go anywhere else. She knows the name of every person who works at those salons.

This concludes my TLC hair routine post! Shoot me an ask if you have a post like this that you want to see. I love writing these. Thanks!

Dealings with a Devil (Part 10)

Dealings with a Devil (Part 10)

Reader X Darkiplier

You, Reader, have made a deal with what you believed to be a fantasized version of your favorite YouTuber’s alter ego, Darkiplier after he’d visited you in a dream. You believed Darkiplier to only exist in your dreams and on Markiplier’s YouTube channel, but by some impossible way he’s real and he intends on collecting on your debt to him.

Originally posted by thean0nym0usmusician

Drying your hair you sit on your bed. Today you’ll be going to the beach. Sean had offered to join you. He likes the beach, Mark on the other hand declined. His odd dislike of the ocean makes him more endearing to you. You could almost see him just standing on the sand and flipping the ocean off, shouting a loud, ”fuck you ocean!”

Keep reading

Some Freelancer headcanons

Maine is half Chinese and half Russian. Yes, he’s heard that Communism joke. That one two. Please shut the fuck up.

Wash’s mother could kick your ass. She could kick Locus’s ass. She could kick the goddamn universe’s ass. Don’t touch her baby.

South is a polyamorous lesbian transwoman.

Florida and Wyoming are low key married.

North, York, and Carolina are high key married.

Wash once ate a whole box of maple nut donuts by himself and regretted it immensely when he remembered he was allergic.

Connie got the epipen. North got the bucket.

Carolina has this weird love for amphibians. You like cats? Sure whatever but did you see this frog? It sounds like a squeaky toy and looks like a pebble!!! York where are you going. York get back here and look at the fucking frog.

Florida can make you feel guilty for everything you’ve ever done wrong with a single look. You know the one. The disappointed dad face.

Maine gives the best hugs. 10/10 would recommend. He’s got personal space issues though so you must earn his trust to get one. Only Wash has a lifetime hug pass.

Wyoming’s mustache is insured for $10,000.

Florida’s ponytail is insured for $100,000.

Everyone agrees these are reasonable values.

All of the vanilla pudding cups are North’s. All of the butterscotch pudding cups are South’s. Do not attempt to take one unless you like having your hand impaled by a fork.

Carolina can tie a cherry stem in her mouth. South assures everyone that this is witchcraft and she must be burned at the stake.

York painted himself green for Halloween and claimed he was Mike Wazowski. Get it? Cause he has one eye? Haha. Why is nobody laughing? What are you doing with that duct tape? MMPH! *thunk*

When the crew found him in the garbage the next day they weren’t even surprised. One guy suggested that they just turn on the trash compactor and go home. They decided that they’d prefer not to get fired for destroying Freelancer equipment and let him out. York found the whole situation to be not the worst Halloween of his life but pretty damn close.

The Director is the only straight/cis person on the entire ship.

Mr. Kubdel is Hawkmoth Theory

Okay, so I used to think just like mostly everyone else that Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth. After all, he certainly has qualities that would lead us to believe that… but not all of them add up. For example the distance his lair has to be from the Eiffel tower and how he’d basically need to teleport there to akumatize Nino as quickly as he did. Or the fact that his jawline and teeth don’t exactly match up to Hawkmoth’s. But for everything Gabriel lacks in comparison, Mr. Kubdel seems to make up for. For example… the teeth?

Gabriel’s have a curve to individual teeth but Mr. Kubdel’s are flat like Hawkmoth’s.

And when Jalil got akumatized? Well, that was basically a repeat of the situation where Nino got akumatized. The man we might suspect leaves, and immediately after the victim is akumatized. However, there have been multiple discussions that considering where Hawkmoth’s lair is and how quickly he got to Nino, it can’t be Gabriel unless he could magically just appear there. 

Now here’s where it gets interesting. If Mr. Kubdel is Hawkmoth, I believe his lair is either in the museum (where he works) or very nearby. Jalil was akumatized right after his interaction with his father in the episode. We can assume there was some time in between, but not much. They also happened to be at the museum, The Louvre. 

I’m sure everyone remembers this recycled scene?

Well, thanks to our friend Google, a friend and I were able to find this through Maps and searches:

(Musee du Louvre to the right corner)

Certainly a bit more believable than the Agreste Mansion, no? The tower does seem to be closer in the animation than in the photos but I don’t think it’s entirely to scale. 

Also, I think his mustache is either fake or comes off with the transformation. 

There are other similarities between the two- their sternness or the fact they both wear glasses and some kind of neck tie/scarf over where the Miraculous might be. But here’s also where they differ. Gabriel doesn’t show compassion, and is very dismissive. Mr. Kubdel, however, has been shown to behave more fatherly. This might seem like a point against Mr. Kubdel as Hawkmoth, but we’ve actually seen Hawkmoth somewhat sympathize with his victims. Yes, it’s in a condescending way, but it shows that he understands. I don’t think Gabriel would. 

So what does this mean if true? It means this asshole akumatized both his kids in his mad quest for the Miraculouses. 

Gundham's First Date

I got inspired by the post about the girl who went on a date and her best friend put on a disguise and followed them on the date to make sure everything went smoothly. Sonia and Kazuichi would do the same thing for Gundham!
I instinctively wrote about this with a female s/o but you can always just change the gender pronouns how you want.
- At first he didn’t want to tell them, because really; he’s never been on a date before.
- Is this even considered a date?
- He’s been circling around his club room all afternoon, making people more creeped out than they usually would be.
- Sonia is the one who notices first, and questions Kazuichi about it, cause Kazuichi has a better eye for these things (*cough* Princesses don’t understand none of your plebian feelings *cough*).
- Kazuichi immediately notices the nervosity of a man who’s about to go on a first date.
- They ask Gundham about it, but he refuses to give any details.
- “A date?! Foolish humans, the Dark Lord isn’t going for no ‘dates’! Another inhuman being simply asked for my company during her meal time in the heavenly realm! How could I possibly decline?!”
- Sonia had to decipher that for Kazuichi, while Kazuichi had to decipher to Sonia what she had deciphered from Gundham’s “demonic speech pattern”.
- Sonia will suggest to Gudham that he should bring her some flowers, since it’s neutral gift that works everytime.
- “You… Want me to bring her… Fairy corpses?”
- Nevermind then! (Lol Sonia)
- Uhhh… Then how about…?
- “Worry not for you lord, low ranking demons! I have already prepared a gift worthy for the one that travels between the realms of Hell, Earth and Heaven!”
- They’re happy he thought of that and ask him to show them.
- A… Dog collar?
- “The lady has recently added a young canine beast into her demonic army! What better gift than means to mark and tame the said beast!” Cue Gundham’s demonic laughter.
- He looks very confident about that one, but in reality his mind is trying find other and better gifts he could possibly bring.
- Sonia and Kazuichi try to dress him up for the date, but he refuses to do anything more than wear a tie (it has fucking paw patterns on it! It’s a must required for the Dark Lord) and he still hides the tie under his scarf so it doesn’t make much of a difference.
- For the date they go to an animal café.
- His s/o is a fucking animal magnet!
- He is pretty fixated on the fact that all these animals are grouping around his s/o, but then there’s Sonia and Kazuichi, wearing black hoodies over their usual clothes, with overdramatic fake mustaches and aviators. They look so suspicious! Not even Gundham looks that suspicious oh my God…
- They’re giving him thumbs up and Gundham just hides his red face in his scarf but gives them a small thumbs up back anyway.
- Sonia asked her butler to borrow his great dane and Kazuichi brought his father’s bulldog.
- Oh no, those dogs like his s/o too, keep them on a shorter leash, dammit!
- His s/o appears not to notice anything, because really, Gundham acts strange all the time, and Sonia and Kazuichi were smart enough to sit behind Gundham’s s/o, so s/o can’t see them, but Gundham can.
- Everytime his s/o laughs, Sonia and Kazuichi are on the verge of tears. You go, Gundham!!!
- She has similarly weird eccentric behaviour, but somewhat more subtle and less dark than Gundham.
- Apparently Gundham considers her to be an angel of darkness. Because she’s too pure to be a demon, but Gundham has to stick with his darkness theme.
- “O’ heavenly angel fallen down to Earth, accept my most sincere grattitude for allowing me to accompany you during your meal time!”
- He was surprisingly smooth while saying bye.
- His s/o loved the gift. Why wouldn’t she?! After all, he got it through his “special underworld connections”.
- In reality he’s just a really regular customer at a local pet store so they gave him this collar for free as a bonus for one of his purchases. It’s super cool though!
- He gets a kiss on the cheek before she leaves.
- He turns completely red and hides in his scarf and just waves meekly at her as she leaves.
- As soon as she’s out of sight, Sonia and Kazuichi are out of the bushes gushing over Gundham.
- You did so well!
- That went so smoothly!
- We didn’t know you had this in you Gundham!
- You lucky bastard! She’s so pretty!
- And they follow him like this everytime. Luckily they learn how to be more lowkey about it. Also, if Gundham and his s/o start kissing, they look away - gotta respect their privacy somewhat.
- Also if they go home and it looks like it’s going further than kissing, they just leave. And high five the whole way home. Also they might have some theories how it escales at Gundham’s place, but at the same time they want to respect his privacy, but hey they’re really curious!

2kimi2furious  asked:

pls give me sully mustache headcanons

he definitely has a whole routine in the morning.

he washes it with shampoo and warm water

he trims it every three days with tiny mustache scissors

he combs it after he’s done washing

he has a grooming kit

he’s very VERy conscious about getting stuff stuck in it so he always strokes it to check.

he used to use some manly beard oil from a manly man shop full of men to keep it nice but one christmas elena bought him some nice beard oil from lush and he swears by it and gets complimented on his lovely smelling face all the time now

sometimes he goes to a professional barber and gets a proper shave from another guy with a twirly mustache and braces and a bow-tie and he pays FAR too much money for it.

he has a mustache shaped ashtray for his garbage cigars. 

The first time, Sherlock is nearly too afraid to touch him.

Watson–John, John, John–touches him like he needs to, like every inch of his body that isn’t pressed against Sherlock’s burns in some unbearable way. He scrapes kisses up Sherlock’s neck and runs his hands along his torso and presses his groin–hot hard ohmygod–to Sherlock’s, uses deft fingers to unbutton his waistcoat, to pull away his tie, and Sherlock can only nod and give a breathy “yes, please” when asked if it’s alright. He puts his hands on John’s forearms and even though John is busy rubbing the skin of his chest pink with his mustache, Sherlock can’t quite believe John doesn’t pull away in fear, or worse, disgust.

By the time John has managed to get both their cocks in hand–shirts unbuttoned and hanging so Sherlock still can’t quite make out his scar, trousers tight around thighs, they’re still wearing their shoes for christ’s sake–Sherlock can only curl his hands around John’s shoulders and pant out his disbelieving breathes. “That’s it,” John whispers when Sherlock loses control of his hips, bucking almost imperceptibly into John’s fist, “That’s it, you can, you’re safe with me.”

John’s hand is warm but his prick is blood-hot and leaking at the tip, and though Sherlock has known for decades where his desires lay he’s never chanced to have those desires fulfilled, and the feeling of John against him, hard, aroused, obviously wanting, obviously experienced in wanting this, prick against prick, makes Sherlock weak in the elbows. He doesn’t even gather up the courage to touch John’s skin, to run his fingers across the fine hairs dusting his chest, his stomach, to reach up and feel the day-old stubble of his face.

John doesn’t seem to mind; he thrusts purposefully against Sherlock and says, “yes, beautiful, let me, are you alright, do you still–” and Sherlock manages to grit out, “don’t stop, God, John, John,” but doesn’t manage to untangle his hands from the folds of John’s shirt before he comes, burning like a lit fuse, crashing in on himself and spurting wet and filthy into John’s hand, and John grunts like he loves it, like the hot wet release of another man’s orgasm, Sherlock’s orgasm, is enough to send him over the edge, and John comes too, globules of hot wet thick sticky onto Sherlock’s belly, and oh, Sherlock understands.

Afterward, John pulls him close, heedless of the mess, heedless of the evidence it might leave on their clothes, and brings his face to Sherlock’s, waits for Sherlock to recover enough to kiss him. Sherlock, with the hot wet thick sticky on his lower stomach suggesting John won’t mind, dares to slip a hand under John’s shirt and press his palm to his chest, wondering at the slowing thrum of his heartbeat. “You’re amazing, Sherlock, brilliant, divine,” John murmurs, though Sherlock has done nothing but accept him–but then, to accept, to dare, to risk, yes: Sherlock knows the value of these things, and pulls John closer.


Length: 4,800 words
Genre: juvenile detention AU
Summary: (Based around the plot of Holes) Dan, a troubled boy, is wrongfully convicted of stealing and sent to a juvenile detention camp where he befriends & develops feelings for a mysterious and enthralling boy named Phil.
Warnings: none really but you might want to grab a snack or something bc it’s a long one, oops


“I didn’t do it!”

Dan’s palm slams down on the metal table, creating a faint echo in the dimly lit interrogation room. Across from him, a middle-aged investigator with a thick business-man style mustache and balding head sits smugly in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. He scans over Dan, squints his hooded eyes and leans forward, resting his clasped hands on the table between them with his brow furrowed. “We have clear footage of you breaking and entering the store at exactly 1:06 am, then leaving with a black bag full of the missing items. It’s on tape, kid. There’s no way out.”

Dan tenses and throws his arms to the side. “For the last time: that isn’t me. I didn’t steal anything. Besides, I’m much taller than whoever that is in the video. It proves nothing. How many times do I have to explain myself?”

The investigator grumbles and leans back in his chair, still unconvinced and skeptical. “Let’s take a look at your record, Mr. Howell.” He pulls a manila folder out from under the desk and flips through the pages loudly. Dan feels his heart drop into his stomach. His hands are overcome with a strong urge to rip the files from the man’s calloused hands, but he instead clenches his fists beneath the table. 

“Breaking and entering on someone’s private property, trespassing into a closed construction site, possession of alcohol as a minor, vandalism, public property damage, suspended license…” The investigator stops and looks up at Dan, who’s blushed angry red in his seat. “Damn kid, you sure have trouble with the law, huh?”

“Look, Mr.-” Dan glances at the name plate on his desk. “-Mr. Barry. With all due respect, those were all misdemeanors. I did my community service. I wouldn’t rob a freaking convenience store,” Dan can’t help his voice wavering under the pressure. He can feel beads of shiny sweat sticking to his forehead and hastily swipes them away with the arm of his jumper.

“This isn’t a little misdemeanor. We take robbery very seriously. I don’t think you quite understand the severity of your crime, Daniel.” He itches his mustache with chubby fingers and locks eyes with Dan, smoothing over his tie which has a fresh barbecue sauce stain.

“I DIDN’T DO IT!” Dan’s standing now, flailing his arms in frustration. “I SWEAR TO GOD! Look at the damn tape, it doesn’t even look like me!”

“You were in the area at the time and this tape proves it was you,” Mr. Barry says flatly. He seems almost pleased with himself. “I’ve discussed the matter with family court. You’re being sentenced to two years at Camp Green Lake.”

Dan’s face drains white. “Two years?” He feels tears welling up in his throat but swallows them, angrily bunching his hands into fists. “I didn’t do it. I swear I didn’t,” he insists, but at this point he knows there is nothing more to defend. His previous record is making this whole get-proven-innocent process incredibly difficult. He sags down into his chair. “Camp? Not juvie?”

The investigator smiles smugly. “Better than juvie.”

- - - -

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quirkywanderer  asked:

Sorry if this sends twice. Who does domestics? Who get ridic excited for holidays? Who is more affectionate? What do Bilbo and Bofur do when Thorin is busy kinging? Are there fights over who gets to be the middle spoon? Who wins?

YESSS OK this took a bit to get to because I discussed these with my boffinshield partner in crime, amahhi. Answer’s under the cut because WOW DID I TALK A LOT ABOUT THESE THREE….(warning for a very mild drug mention down in there. old toby leaf. freakin hobbits)

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Ship in a Bottle - 6.12

Not only is this a holodeck episode, you guys, but it’s a META HOLODECK EPISODE. I heard you liked holodecks so I put a holodeck in your holodeck so you can holodeck while you holodeck. We’re still doing that, right? 

Before you dive into this ep, you may want to revisit the second-season Sherlock Holmes-themed adventure, “Elementary, Dear Data”, because this episode is basically its sequel. It too, opens with Data and Geordi enjoying some leisure time in a Holmes program:

This is not a pipe

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Sympathy for the Devil

The first time Steve lays eyes on Tony he’s only a small thing tucked into his bed as deeply as he can burrow in, shivering with fever. A soft touch pushes through his sweat dampened hair and a sympathetic smile greets Steve she nye forces his eyes open. It’s a man he’s never seen before with a mustache and blue, blue eyes in pieces of a suit. HIs jacket is missing for some reason leaving his suspenders visible and his tie hangs loose around his neck like he was on his way off to bed for rest when he found Steve.

The touch to his forehead is gentle and blissfully cool. It coaxes Steve to shut his eyes again. The stranger hums, a low, rich sound that makes Steve shiver in a way that has nothing to do with his fever. Something tells him he should be afraid but Steve also finds himself very much wanting this stranger to stay.

“Who’re you?” Steve croaks out. His throat is sore and his head hurt. The hand smoothing his hair is pushing the pain in his head a little further away with each pass. 

The man’s smile quirks on one side and he shrugs. “You wouldn’t believe me kid.” 

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Fic: We'll See

“What’s with the scruff?” Chris asks, rubbing the tips of his fingers against Will’s jaw.

“Been home all day,” Will kisses him lightly, pulls back to smile. “Didn’t feel like shaving.”

“Boxers and scruff all day then?” Chris turns, pulls a diet coke out of the fridge.

“Don’t you like it?” Will leans against the counter. There are dirty dishes in the sink and crumbs everywhere. Is this what Will working from home is going to look like?

Chris sighs. “We’ll see.”

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