his name was phil ; ;

ilovecandy7778  asked:

Is the clone war's announcer part of the jedi doc.?

Hahahaha, like the Jedi have him come along as part of the package? 

The Documentary Director: Who’s that guy? Is he a Jedi, too?
Mace: No, that’s Phil. He’s our narrator.
Director: Oh. Wait, what?
Shaak Ti: He queues up our next adventure for us.
Director: What…all the time?
Phil: [trailing behind Yoda, who is walking down the hall] DAYBREAK! Master Yoda, awakening from a restful night’s sleep, walks towards the dining hall in search of badly-needed caf! Meanwhile, JEDI KNIGHT ANAKIN SKYWALKER and his Padawan AHSOKA TANO, have just spilled all of the remaining caf on the floor while doing an ill-advised handstand competition!
Yoda: [groans] 
Phil: As the two desperately try to cover up their mess before Master Yoda arrives, JEDI MASTER OBI-WAN KENOBI approaches with towels to assist the frazzled Jedi – unaware that he is about to accidentally back up into a large stack of glass mugs!
[the sound of breaking glass and Obi-Wan’s swearing can be heard]
Mace: [to the Director] Phil’s very good at his job. 

dan and phil play faceapp: a summary

HELLO NEW FLAT

“any cardboard box can be turned into something beautiful”

how long before dan promos the merch

this definitely wasn’t scheduled beforehand

they stole the dvp board even though it technically belongs to their old landlord

discussing furnishings

if they still have cardboard boxes in the background in ten weeks time we can shout at them or let them know if you’re into that kind of thing

“i give this channel one week before we get evicted”

danandphilgamesFACES

appropriate but weak phil

i’ll let you off because you’ve been moving and you’re tired

and cute

that helps

I JUST NOTICED THE STUBBLE HELLO

this is a video that phil basically said ‘dan can we do this’ and it’s proven dan is still wrapped around his little finger

“we have to do it while it’s still relevant” mate you’re not exactly plummeting in views bloody hell

i like the insight into his camera roll

why is the danieldreamx liveshow thumbnail there

throwback to the ladybird jumper selfie

dan stop dragging him

that attractive chin angle

“apparently phil can’t take a selfie” i fucking relate

apparently phil is slightly scared and startled all the time

and the first scream of the new dapg era is upon us

rip headphone users

someone needs to put that as a jumpscare in the comments

phil speaking about having straight teeth made me sadder than it should’ve

the old filter aka “six months into the future” according to dan

the fond look from phil

“it’s seven months into the future at least”

every old!phil trope needs to be rewritten

“if you keep your current hair you will be the coolest old guy” dan still rolling in the compliments

“let’s not be ageists”

shoutout to the over 65s watching

phil looks like his grandad apparently

“i look like me but younger but that’s not what i looked like when i was younger”

just got a full close up of dans crusty ass lips that’s another one to add to the jumpscare list

dan doesn’t like female phil

“it’s like a horrible alternate universe” someone’s gonna be scouring the au tag, have fun dan

“i’m a bit scarlett johannson-y”

“clearly your hairstyle is ready to go for the female app”

celestial glowing earrings

“i would avoid him in a dark alley” says phil about himself as a… man

“that is the phil that never got a myspace account and became a builder” now there’s an au dan is either going to write himself or search for

“normy phil”

“you look so average” dan pls we know you think he’s beautiful but we’re only five minutes into the video control yourself

dan’s turn on the weird app

'neutral face’

'dan with a soul’: “i look like a mouse person” // “you look like a rabbit person!”

phil the savage my one true love

“i like it. i wanna be friends with him instead of you” wow phil you absolute savage drag him more

“it’s like you put a hoover against your ear and sucked out your soul” phil looks legitimately scared i’m

“old dan! old danny! old danny slice” phil chants whilst looking over fondly

dan’s impersonation of his old self: “i’m old but you still would”

“derek has imploded”

“you’re like an anime child”

“let’s meet danielle!” phil is way too into this

“i look like louise! that is a picture of louise!” // “it is louise… or is it a bit of zoe as well?”

phil doesn’t know zoe and louise’s ship name

come on phil they had a shop back in the day where even were you in the old days

they both watched your videos

“do you even lesbian on wattpad?” dan revealing more of his plans for that night

okay he got the ship name in the end nice one philly

“i like to think that if i, as a female or just as dan now, embraced eye makeup, it would be a bit cooler than that, that’s a bit normal”

he’d do a smoky eye, phil was more than happy to help him draw that conclusion

calling all fic writers; this is your chance

“am i already the hunky dan i wish i was?”

phil looks so excited to see 'male’ dan

“you look… very angry” i wonder if that’s code for if phil’s into it or not

“it’s really square-ified my face like let’s give this lad a chin that he doesn’t have”

oh nice dan would fuck himself

calling all fic writers; i’m begging you please please don’t

now the camera roll pictures make sense okay here we go

phil’s aesthetic twitter icon has a creepy ass filtered smile

“that’s phol. p-h-o-l. that’s your doot there” alright dan calm yourself lad

dans twitter icon’s turn

“i hate that profile picture… because i have curly hair now, i need to get a new icon that embraces the curls” finally he’s saying stuff i can get onboard with

phil stop trying to stop him from changing it

make it your lockscreen if you want to see it everyday but let the man change his damn icon

“rabbit dan is back”

pastel dan as an old guy: “he’s so cute!” says phil

phil’s selfie with the hair dye on okay dude

“i literally think that’s what i’d look like as a girl” why does he only have one set of eyelashes tho

“that is amazingphillipa”

“ah your really cringe selfie!” // “it wasn’t cringe!” dan is getting his revenge drags in

he nailed the caption according to dan

also contact i am all over that i definitely haven’t rewound it four times

the first american names they think of are kyle (phil) and cody (dan)

i ship it

what the fuck is this last picture

sideways dan

he has like three teeth i’m laughing so much what the

pirate!dan, he said so himself

what the fuck is the smile filter……. add it to the jumpscare list

also in case you’re curious we do say stuff like that in the north, philly ain’t lying to you

aaaaaaand here’s the merch promo

i feel sad that my moon head doesn’t suit hats rip

“good luck sleeping” i don’t think you’ll be sleeping dan sounds like you have a fic filled night ahead of you

oh god the photoshop make it stop right now i hate this endscreen why am i still here

i wonder what faces they’re pulling behind the photoshop

“don’t swap faces with people because it’s really demonic bye”

danielleisnotonfire

AmazingPhillipa

Dan and Phil’s Liveshow // 4.27.17

First liveshow in the new house

Dan is wearing the pink Sydney shirt

Phil is wearing a new grey/blue/green? hoodie 

Random box of shit that they went through

Many box paper cuts

Moving video recap

The London Apartment was like the F.R.I.E.N.D.S apartment

They’re still going to be making videos and they brought their stuff no need to fret

The new house is a duplex

They’re still renting RIP to the dog dreams for now

They’re drowning in cardboard boxes

There’s a semi transparent glass door in the lounge

Easter baking (Phil still doesn’t know what they’re called)

“Whisk it harder” -Phil

Phil’s bedroom is going to be pretty much the same don’t get too hyped about new interior design

Dan’s bedroom will be almost completely different (apparently it looks like the moon?)

Dan got rid of the bedspread but Phil kept his (he secretly has 2 the entire time)

They are yet to meet the neighbor

“’When will you get a dog?’ I guess when the house is bought and there’s no landlord.”

The gaming background will look weirdly similar 

“Gaming lighting will be dank”

Dan’s filming area is through the door thing through the longue 

Dan didn’t want to play i spy on the flight back from Singapore what a bitch

They watched Fantastic Beasts (3/5 stars), Lion (ugly crying), Hacksaw Ridge (Dan cried the entire second half of the movie) on the flight 

They went to a night zoo in Singapore which was really cool

Phil was convinced an elephant was trying to come after him

Dan wanted to see absolutely everything 

They haven’t listened to the new Fall Out Boy song yet

They’re enjoying the new place a lot just getting adjusted 

Phil will still film in his bedroom (apparently the landlord thought he was going to film a porno)

They have a Lounge and a chill lounge (currently they’re in the chill lounge which is where they’ll film)

Dan got a white piano

Phil is constantly taking creepshots

Maybe they’ll get a fish

The Art Science Museum in Singapore was lit 

Phil the Photographer

Phil’s hood has gone up #news

Dan did a lot of crying on that trip

Basically Singapore was just really cool

Dan stuck his foot through the leg of the ripped jeans

“What is it with Australia inspiring me to paint my nails” 

#cocktus 

Phil may attempt to curl his hair for a video at some point

Phil will be away in Florida after Playlist with his family on holiday so he’ll tweet about when he’ll do the next liveshow

The 1D poster is gone #rip

The last gaming video was a good send off

This year is very much about them and their lives

Dan got a bonsai for is desk

Dan has one more dinof video filmed in the old house 

This one isn’t a forever home

“You sneaky weasels” 

“It suits him. Embrace the natural curls.” Phil on Dan’s curls

The new place doesn’t really have a name but Thor is a possibility

Phil probably wouldn’t paint his nails because he doesn’t like having stuff on his (like tattoos or pen marks) just as a personal preference 

DINOF video most likely on Monday and Dan liveshow on Tuesday

“We hope that we’re been two virtual buddies to you”

“Goodbyeeeeeee”

The puppy bowl is starting and they had Punxsutawney Phil [the groundhog] and his retainers determine the coin toss for if Team Ruff or Team Fluff goes first.

The cheerleaders are rescue rabbits and guinea pigs.
Team Fluff’s mascot is a rescued Chinchilla in it’s own area.
Team Ruff’s mascot is a rescued Screech Owl chilling on a perch decorated with Puppy Bowl stuff.
The social media expert is a rescued grey parrot named Meep who is ‘tweeting’ as things happen aka they took a few mins of footage of them sitting on a laptop and then let them sit wherever they wanted, then simulated the screen.

The ref is laying down to talk to the players if they just sit there. The pups are licking his face or just playing. 

I love Puppy Bowl, but Puppy Bowl XIII is what 2017 needed.

Black History Month (Year 3) | Day 7 | Phil LaMarr

Phil LaMarr is a graduate of Yale University where he founded the improv comedy group, Purple Crayon. In 1989, he became a member of the award winning sketch comedy group, The Groundlings. LaMarr also studied improv at The Secondy City and at the Improv Olympic. Through his connections within his improv network, he was able to start a film career—-his first movie being “It’s Pat”, in 1994. He has also appeared in a plethora of tv shows before it started his voice acting career—such as “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, “Hanging with Mr. Cooper”, “MADtv”, “Living Single”, and more. He’s even had a role in the popular cult classic  Tarantino Film, “Pulp Fiction”.

But the meat of his work is within the cartoon and video-game industry. Name a cartoon right now, go ahead. Did you do it? Yeah, he’s been in that. LaMarr has led an impressive voice acting career, his most notable roles being Jack (Samurai Jack), Static Shock (Static Shock), Hermes Conrad (Futurama), Wilt (Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends), Green Lantern (Justice League).

LaMarr is set to reprise his role as Samurai Jack for the show’s fifth and final season, this March.

some phil things;

- his solid gold heart
- messy hair and glasses
- “hee hee”
- his eyebrows
- when he says smth that doesn’t make sense but sticks with it as if it somehow does
- so much lateral thinking
- he’s so smart
- the way he covers his mouth when he laughs
- making everything into a song
- his colourful wardrobe (including mismatched socks)
- the fact that literally everyone would tell you he’s the kindest most compassionate and encouraging person they’ve ever met
- he’s sweet bc he consumes all sugar within a twenty mile radius
- he loves all animals and all animals love him
- the galaxy jacket that makes him look like a space nerd in the best way
- animal impressions
- when his eyes get rlly wide and he makes That Face
- clumsiness
- when he put blue in his hair that was Good
- saying smth dirty and then pretending like he didn’t know
- the fact that he doesn’t curse but sometimes lets one slip 10/10
- “try new things”
- leaving scented candles everywhere
- when he gets overly excited about things
- naming his houseplants and then inevitably killing them on accident
- he invented everything
- being so unapologetically himself and embracing all the weird and wonderful and encouraging everyone else to do the same

If I’m a Saint, Then You’re Heaven

Summary: Phil is less than excited to start his Sex in the Bible course, but he can’t bring himself to regret it when he meets a gorgeous angel dressed in all pink by the name of Dan.
Word Count: 11,068
Warnings: Lots of religious talk, homophobia, physical fight, smut
A/N: Hey guys! I wrote this because I was tired of people writing a religious fic where Phil continuously tries to get Dan to sin. So this came out, where they both respect each other despite their religious differences (With a dash of sex at the end). If you’re uncomfortable reading smut then no worries! It’s easy to tell when they’re going to get it on and it ends at the ’-’ and is very close to the end (: Lastly, special thanks to @insanityplaysfics for betaing this for me and giving me this entire idea! Also thank you @phandommother for helping me out with the idea as well and listening to me rant about it :’)
Title Creds: Cement - Citizen
Read it on AO3

-

Phil didn’t know why he decided to take the class. None of his friends were taking it and it honestly seemed like a lot of shit that Phil didn’t particularly care about, shit that didn’t really help him with his future career in any way. It seemed like a class that had a lot of reading, reading that Phil would probably never do, and let’s be honest, he probably only took the class because it had the word ‘sex’ in the title.

He walked into his Sex in the Bible class five minutes late on his first day.

The teacher didn’t bat an eye. Heads didn’t turn to look at him. Phil just sauntered in and stood at the back of the lecture room with his backpack slung over one shoulder while he scanned the room for a seat. Sometimes he forgot just how uncaring everyone was in university. He could just walk in ten to twenty minutes late and nobody would give a shit. Especially not in a class where there were over one hundred students.

(He didn’t understand why there were so many students in Sex in the Bible. They probably also just took the class because of the word ‘sex’).

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Don't take my waffles.

I will keep this brief to avoid boring you, and also because whenever this site reloads, which has happened several times now, I have to type this story all over again.

Back in high school, I HAD to leave for school really early in order to avoid being late. I may seem obsessive to you, but believe me, you would be too if you were in my situation. I had physics as the first class of the day, and the professor was REALLY strict. How strict, you might ask? Very strict.

Because of this, I had to make my breakfasts the day before I would eat them so that I could arrive at school on time. One of the things I preferred to make was waffles.

In the first half of the semester, my best friend’s cousin, who we shall call Phil, moved in with me. At first, I thought he was a great guy. We shared a lot of interests, like gaming and sports.

Two months later, everything changed. I woke up one morning, smiling at the thought of waffles with maple syrup, and hummed a tune as I completed my morning routine (the part before breakfast). I twirled downstairs and opened the fridge and gracefully lifted the container of waffles off the refrigerator racks only to find it…empty. My heart sank as I realized I would not have time to make anything else.

I grabbed a few granola bars (which I fortunately had bought the day before) and thought about the disappearance of my waffles. Sure, this may seem tiny and unimportant, but I needed my waffles in the mornings. They were my breakfast, and gave me the energy I needed to start the day. Sure, I had other foods, but granola bars and crackers just weren’t enough.

Just then, Phil walked in. “Do you know what could have happened to my waffles?” I asked him, holding up the empty container.
“Oh, sorry,” he said, “I ate those because I ran out of cereal and had nothing else to eat.”

“Nothing else?” I said, raising my voice, “Nothing else? Did it occur to you that we had, let’s see, granola bars? And that the waffles were MY breakfast that I make EVERY DAY?

“Sorry.” He said. “At least they were delicious.” I finished my granola bars and stomped off, deciding to let it slide because this had never happened before.

Until it happened the next day. And the next. When I confronted Phil about this, as he obviously had bought cereal at the store, he apologized, saying that the waffles were just really delicious and he couldn’t resist them. This happened for weeks, and no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn’t stop. He would wake up earlier than I did if I was planning to do the same to him. Even if I hid my waffles, he would find them.

Then one day, I decided I had had enough. When I baked my waffles, I added…vinegar. And hot sauce. Lots of vinegar and hot sauce. I woke up to Phil’s angry shouts. He ran into my room, shouting, “What the did you put in those ing waffles?”

I tried not to smirk as I calmly replied, “Oh, just some stuff that I like.”

“Why the would you put that in there?” He screamed.

I couldn’t hide my smile as I said, “Because last time I checked, I was making these waffles for my breakfast, not yours, and I can put whatever I want in my breakfast. Let this be a lesson to you, Phil (This isn’t his real name, as you already know, so I didn’t call him Phil). My waffles, my rules. Don’t mess with me or my waffles ever. Again. Because you won’t like me when I don’t have my waffles, as you found out today.”

He never stole my waffles again.

Family’s What You Make Of It

Family’s What You Make Of It | It starts when Dan stumbles through the door of his two bedroom flat with an attractive stranger attached to his mouth, and it ends with, well… a family. Or, the one where Dan is a single father of a three year old, who intends for Phil to be nothing more than a one night stand until he see’s him interact with his daughter for the first time. | Phan | Mature | Smut, self-neglect, implied self-esteem issues, single father Dan | 4,374 Words

Thank you so @phansdick for encouraging me (as always) and then being wonderful and beta’ing for me without me even having to ask ;)

(Ao3 Link)

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anonymous asked:

Hey so you prob have v v many prompts but like I would love to suggest one.. Okay so, Dan is a very confident slutty pastel teenager and Phil is a badass punk boy that everyone fawns over.. and they absolutely hate each other but one thing leads to another and they end up at the same party where Phil is dared to fuck Dan in front of everyone.. (LOTS OF DEGRATION, and dom Phil and sub dan)

a 👌 classic 👌👌

*small mention of rape*

dirty talk + degrading + lots of language idk it’s one am

-

“You look like a slut.” PJ handed Dan a drink, leaning against the counter next to him, raising his eyebrows.

“Thanks, that was the point.” Dan winked, hiking up his already far too short baby blue shorts. PJ rolled his eyes.

“You’re gonna get raped.”

“Um, excuse me, I can take care of myself.” Dan took a sip from the red plastic cup, frowning. “I haven’t gotten raped yet, have I?”

PJ shook his head, staring at Dan like he didn’t understand him one bit. “I just don’t get why you want to look like you strip for truckers.”

Dan pursed his lips, shifting his pink sweater so it hung on him perfectly, showing just the right amount of collarbone. He smirked.

“That’s probably because you’re a virgin, honey.”

PJ pretended to flinch, shaking his head. “Ouch. That was harsh.”

Dan just shrugged, licking his lips.

“Hey Dan,” PJ started, his eyes lighting up as he stared at something across the room. “Your boyfriend’s here.”

“Shit,” Dan groaned, not even having to look, but he did anyways.

Phil Lester had just entered the room, fully clad in black and far too many zippers.

He was wearing a black leather jacket and t shirt, his jeans the same shade, what a surprise. On his feet were large motorcycle boots. Dan scowled.

He had about five people practically hanging off his arms, Dan hated him.

“He thinks he’s so hot,” Dan grumbled, glaring at his cup. “He thinks he can get anyone he fucking wants, what a twat.”

“Aw,” PJ grinned. “Dan’s got a crush.”

“Fuck you,” Dan growled, punching him on the arm, hard. “I’m as close to having a crush on him as I am to fucking him.”

“Dan, you’re literally the sluttiest person I have ever met.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I’ll fuck almost anyone BUT him.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Positive.”

~~~

Dan raised his eyebrows, amused. “No. You’re drunk.”

“C'mon Dan,” his friend Chris whined, tugging at his sleeve. “It’ll be fun!”

“No, it won’t.” Dan pulled his hand away. “It’ll be a lot of drunk guys daring me to jerk them. I’m not playing.”

Chris sighed, crossing his arms. “Dan, I hate to do this, but if you don’t come I’ll tell everyone that you hooked up with Mr. Parker over the summer.”

Dan’s eyes widened, and he glared at him. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.” Chris smirked. Dan scowled at his friend.

“Fine. Fuck you, fine. Let’s get this over with.”

The game of truth or dare was happening in one of the bedrooms; Dan was fairly certain it belonged to the kid’s parents. It consisted of a bunch of drunk sweaty teens that had formed a circle, passing around risky orders and questions in excited whispers.

Dan sat down between Chris and PJ, running his fingers through his hair. He shot a glare at Phil across the circle, who was staring at him.

The first ten minutes were normal. The other kids basically ignored Dan, focusing on one person after another. They seemed to change their focus often; singling out one poor soul after another. Soon the focus was on Phil.

“If you had to fuck anyone in this group, who would it be?” Some guy asked Phil, and Dan looked up, for some reason interested to hear the answer.

Phil smirked, glancing around at everyone before his eyes landed on Dan. He laughed.

“Probably not him,” he said, grinning cockily. “I wouldn’t want to catch anything.”

Dan felt a pang shoot through his chest, and he crossed his arms.

“Fuck you, Lester. At least I don’t have to wear animal skin to look bad ass,” he shot back. Phil glared at him.

The rest of the group fell fairly silent, and Dan was highly aware of everyone’s eyes on them. Finally Chris spoke.

“Okay but, you guys should fuck.”

There was some mutual agreement, and Dan’s eyes widened.

“What? Why!”

“Yeah, no, for once I agree with you. Hell no.” Phil shook his head, looking shocked.

“With a few more drinks, you two will be all over each other.” A boy, Dan thought he remembered his name was Charlie and that he was the kid this house belonged to, said, taking a swig of his beer. There was some nodding from the other people.

“That’s not true,” Dan mumbled, crossing his arms.

“Alright, is no one going to say it?” Chris glanced around the circle. “Fine, I will. I dare you two to kiss.”

“Fuck no,” Dan said immediately, before Phil could even respond. “I’m not doing that.”

“Dan, don’t be a pussy,” Phil growled in a voice Dan was fairly certain he had never heard from him before. “It’s a dare.”

“You’re seriously agreeing to this?” Dan scoffed. Phil shrugged.

“Well, I’m not scared of a little dare.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Dan mumbled, sighing and moving closer to him, on his knees. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

Phil smirked, leaning forward and pulling Dan forward by his shirt so he was practically sitting in his lap. Dan hardly had time to react, let alone speak, before Phil was pressing their lips together. Dan just let it happen; it only lasted a second before Phil was pulling back and it was over.

“No no no,” Chris said, grinning. “That doesn’t count. You have to really kiss, for at least ten seconds.”

“Seriously?” Dan asked, and his friend just shrugged. Phil mumbled something under his breath, tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair and tugging him back roughly.

This time Phil kissed him open mouthed, their lips clashing and sliding together. Dan was highly aware of Phil’s tongue invading his mouth, and he fought back with his own.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck, kissing him deeper and clutching at his shirt, so lost in the feeling that he didn’t hear Chris shouting that their time was up.

Finally Dan pulled back, mostly because he needed to breathe, and frowned when he realized everyone was staring at him. Including Phil.

Everyone was quiet, mostly in shock, until a boy in the back spoke up.

“I dare you to ride him,” he said, grinning drunkly.

Dan and Phil made eye contact, and Phil smirked.

“Well?” He asked cockily.

“You’re really putting this up to me?”

Phil nodded slowly, licking his lips and tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair, tugging his head back roughly. “Well, Dan? Are you too scared?”

“I’m not scared,” Dan breathed, frowning at him.

“Well then prove it, pretty boy.”

Dan gasped as Phil bit down on his neck, sucking thoroughly on a spot under his ear. It felt completely wrong to have the guy he absolutely despised leaving marks on his neck, but kind of fucking sexy in a way. Or maybe that was the alcohol talking.

Dan felt himself tense up as Phil slid his hand down his stomach, brushing the hem of his shorts.

“Couldn’t we use a different room or something?” Dan asked, grabbing Phil’s wrists instinctively.

“No,” said the boy from before, quickly. “We won’t have any proof you did it.”

“You thirsty fucker,” Dan hissed at him as Phil played with his zipper.

Phil hummed against his neck as he pushed down his shorts, and Dan let him. None of them would remember this in the morning, and most of them had seen Dan naked anyways.

“I bet you love this,” he whispered, biting down on Dan’s ear, scratching his nails down Dan’s thighs. “You’re such a fucking slut, I bet you love being exposed like this.”

“Says the guy who’s erection is digging into my back,” Dan shot back, and Phil shrugged.

“So? I’m turned on. At least I admit it.”

Dan jumped slightly as Phil brushed over his bulge, and Phil chuckled.

“I hate you,” Dan breathed as Phil palmed him, drawing a whine from Dan’s mouth.

“Mmh, doesn’t sound that way.”

Dan felt Phil messing with his own jeans, pushing them down his hips.

“Do you know how many people would love to be in your place right now, you ungrateful slut?”

Dan smirked. “Yeah, just about every thirteen year old girl in our school.”

Phil pulled Dan’s hair roughly, exposing his throat, and Dan couldn’t help letting a whimper escape him.

“You don’t get to speak to me that way,” he growled, and Dan could feel his hard on grinding against his ass. “Understand?”

Dan couldn’t help but moan, grinding back on Phil’s lap. “Yes sir,” he gasped.

Phil put his fingers to Dan’s mouth, and Dan took them obediently. He carefully covered them with spit before Phil pulled them out.

“I figure you don’t need stretching,” Phil muttered, smirking meanly. Dan just nodded, unable to think of a snarky comeback in that exact moment.

Dan felt Phil lining up, and then gripping his waist.

“Push back,” he breathed, pulling Dan back on his lap slightly. Dan moaned, pushing back on Phil’s cock completely.

He grinded back slowly, his eyes closed and whorish moans falling from his mouth nonstop.

“That’s it, baby, moan like a dirty fucking slut for me,” Phil groaned, biting down on Dan’s neck. “Such a good fucktoy, that’s it.”

Dan whined, letting out little gasps and “ah ah ah”’s as he bounced and grinded expertly, fucking himself on Phil’s dick. They seemed to have both forgotten anyone else was in the room, except for a faint prickle on Dan’s neck, the feeling of being watched, which was honestly turning him on even more.

Phil grabbed Dan’s wrists, pinning them behind his back and thrusting up into him roughly.

“Think you can cum without me touching you?” He asked huskily. “Because, that would be really fucking hot.”

Dan nodded almost immediately, speeding up his movements with a loud whimper.

“Fuck, daddy,” he gasped, and Phil practically growled.

“What a pretty toy, acting like such a slut for me, in front of all these people,” he whispered, meeting Dan’s hips with his own. “Everyone’s watching you, Dan, watching you call me daddy and fuck yourself on my cock. I bet you fucking love it, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Dan whimpered. “Yes, daddy, god yes, l-love it.”

“Good boy.” Phil pulled Dan’s head back on his shoulder. “Now cum for me, princess.”

Dan let go with a loud continuous feminine moan, his hips twitching as he thrust forward automatically. Phil groaned, burying his face in Dan’s neck as he let go inside of him.

Dan slumped onto the carpet, completely fucked out, his eyes still closed.

“Jesus,” he breathed.

Phil was suddenly very aware of all of the people staring at them, and laughed.

“Hey, Charlie, I can use your shower right?”

The boy nodded slowly, still shocked into silence.

“Cool.” Phil grinned, scooping Dan up bridal style in one motion and standing carefully. “Uh, if you hear noises from the bathroom, you probably have rats and it’s totally not a second round.”

Phil’s Livestream // 2.9.17

He’s wearing his fox jumper

He’s going to draw out his birthday for as long as possibly

Dan got him a signed picture of David Boreanaz in the bath

Tb to that awful radiator photoshoot 

“It was very crotchy”

He doesn’t know how to smile with his eyes

In most photoshoots they want Dan to smile and Phil to do a funny face but that may change

They went to see Manchester by the Sea

The theater had footstools and some poor man kept falling over them

He ended up falling face first into Dan’s popcorn

“Why us? Why us?”

The Lesters attract weird people 

He had a list of movies he wanted to see before the Oscars

“I got to see about 4 snows”

“’You need to move out. I know!”

They had 3 more gas leaks that they had to get fixed

They are fine though dw

If there’s another leak they’d have to leave the house for a while so perhaps a holiday

Emu update

He hasn’t played Kingdom Hearts

“Why do people want to stick duct tape to fish?”

ASMR

He doesn’t like mouth noises

“Mouths man. They’re weird.”

His flowers are bloomed to the max

“Philly did something right”

They’re still loving Steven Universe 

He’s excited for Stranger Things season 2

He’s also watching Santa Clarita Diet 

He got a big new winter coat that’s black with a furry hood 

They got to feed meerkats with a girl named Zoe with Make A Wish

One of the meerkats was digging into his crotch because some food fell 

“If you’re ever bored just combine dogs and google it”

They also saw penguins, lions, and llamas at the zoo

He was singing Jingle Bells for like a week 

Presentation tips

“It’s time for your bath”

Sugar glider research 

More 8 ball answers

“I’ve had a lovely time chatting with you”

New Sims video soon

Mentions of Dan: ||||| ||||| |||||

Hockey Gothic
  • Your grandfather tells you “When I was born, Jaromir Jagr had already played 20 seasons.” Your father tells you “When I was born, Jagr had already played 20 seasons.” You look up Jagr on HockeyDB. By the time you were born, Jaromir Jagr had already played 20 seasons.
  • You hum a melody. Everybody hums a melody. You can’t make out the words, but the melody repeats after a short time. “The rest name new can lay, is the foot mold okay name,” it sounds like. You don’t understand.
  • The Leafs are up 11-0 after 2. Tears are running down your face. You know they will lose in the shootout.
  • Ovechkin is loading up his shot. You can see the defense going down one by one. The forwards try to play defense and theydrop, too. They can’t get up again. Ovechkin is still loading up his shot.
  • “Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup Champion,” somebody says. Others are nodding along. The president of the US is live on TV. “Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup Champion,” he says.
  • A toad croaks. It sounds like “parity.” You look at the toad. Gary Bettman’s face stares back. “Shootout,” it croaks.
  • Your team won. You are happy. Somebody is screaming on Youtube. Your team lost. Somebody is screaming on Youtube. You like, subscribe and tell all your friends. You scream.
  • Somebody takes a shot on an empty net. Carey Price is on the bench. He makes the save. The refs skate to the bench to get the puck. You scream.
  • You can’t make out the print on Don Cherry’s suit. It seems to change while you’re watching. It looks at you. “Good Canadian boys,” the suit says.
Paper Stars

Summary: Dan starts to get love notes in his locker in the form of origami stars, so he gets the help of his best friend, Phil, to figure out who it is.
Word Count: 2,398
Warnings: cussing
A/N: Thanks to @insanityplaysfics as always for giving me ideas. I’m a fucking sap recently because my boyfriend proposed to me and I just wanna write a crapton of fluff and puke rainbows everywhere. This is short and sweet, which is very rare for me! I hope you like it anyways!
Read it on AO3

-

The day Dan opened his locker to a strange slip of paper folded into an origami star was one of the strangest moments of his life.

“What,” Dan said simply, giving the offending paper a strange look. He bent down and retrieved it, staring at it long and hard. It was thin, made with a flowery paper, and he could just make out words written in very small print on it. “What,” Dan said again.

With a small amount of struggle, Dan managed to unwrap the star, revealing the writing inside. The script was sloppy to the point where Dan thinks it was written with the wrong hand. Dan said “what” again and the word didn’t even sound like it was real anymore. It took him a few minutes to read what it said due to the scribble, but he eventually managed.

‘i used to stare out the window because i thought the scenery was beautiful. Then i saw you and suddenly the world didnt seem nearly as captivating as before.

Keep reading

4

100 Illustrators that all Illustrators should know: #74

Jean “Moebius” Giraud (1938-2012)

Country: France

Famous for: Heavy Metal, Metal Hurlant, Arzach, L’Incal, Blueberry, The Airtight Garage, Alien, The Fifth Element, Dune, City of Fire, Edena, Silver Surfer, Tron, Les Maitres du Temps, Willow, The Abyss

Influenced: Geof Darrow, Phillippe Druillet, Phillippe Caza, Hayao Miyazaki, Katsuhiro Otomo, Enki Bilal, Tanino Liberatore, Milo Manara, Georges Bess, William Stout, Arno, José Ladronn, Juan Gimenez, Sylvain Despretz, Ridley Scott, Richard Corben, Alejandro Jodorowsky, Mike Mignola, Mark Bode, Katsuya Terada, Frank Cho, Vittorio Giardano, Frank Miller, Brandon Graham, Brendan McCarthy, Francois Schuiten, Marc Bati, Francois Boucq, Frank Quitely, Neil Gaiman, Paul Pope, Mike Allred, Phil Noto, Killian Eng, George Lucas, Blade Runner, William Gibson, Federico Fellini, Sci-Fi and Fantasy culture, concept art, animation and comics as a whole

Influenced by: Gustave Doré, Jijé, Jean-Claude Mezieres, Possibly Virgil Finlay, Will Eisner, Frederic Remington, Western Comics, Herge, Art Nouveau, 

Jean Giraud, widely known by his pen-names Moebius and Gir, was a French comic illustrator and author, considered to be one of the most influential artists in the industry across the entire globe. Growing up in German-occupied France, Giraud found solace and escape in a small local theater that would play an abundance of American B-Westerns, which is where he’d develop a love for the genre. In 1954, Giraud received his only technical training at the École Supérieure des Arts Appliqués Duperré, where he’d produce western comics, much to the disappointment of his teachers. It is here where he’d meet close friend and fellow artist, Jean-Claude Méziéres (co-creator of Valerian). Giraud would not graduate and left the school in 1956. In the late 1950s, Giraud was drawing his own western strip for the magazine, Far West, very much influenced by the works of his later mentor, Joseph “Jijé” Gillain. In the 1960s, he developed the Lieutenant Blueberry character with Jean-Michel Charlier, a title he’d work on under the pseudonym, Gir until 1974. This is partly due to Giraud wanting to explore  and develop the work of his Moebius alter-ego, as he had a growing interest in science-fiction and fantasy. That same year, Moebius, along with artist Phillipe Druillet and writer, Jean-Pierre Dionnet created the comic anthology magazine, Métal Hurlant (”Screaming Metal”) under the collective Les Humanoides Associes. Such stories published in the publication were The Long Tomorrow, Arzach and The Airtight Garage. Metal Hurlant would later become known as Heavy Metal Magazine in the U.S. becoming a bastion for adult-oriented illustrated stories, with a focus on genre imagery. In 1980, Moebius worked with frequent collaborator, Alejandro Jodorowsky on the acclaimed L’Incal series. A couple of years later, Moebius would start collaborating on an ambitious portfolio with pupil, Geof Darrow, entitled City of Fire. Aside from working with Marvel Comics and other publishers, Moebius worked on a slew of films from the 70s-90s as a concept artist. These films include Alien, Tron, The Abyss, Willow, The Fifth Element and Jodorowsky’s unrealized adaption of Frank Herbert’s Dune. Moebius’ work is categorized by a range of qualities, producing incredibly simple work and exceptionally detailed work alike, both in the tradition of ligne claire, and hatch-heavy linework. 

Sadly, Moebius passed away in 2012 after a long battle with cancer, though his legacy has only gotten more celebrated since. Ridley Scott is known for having said that Moebius’ sci-fi imagery is so influential that everything made in the genre now either directly or indirectly shares his DNA, with concepts inspired by or even stolen in such properties as Star Wars, Halo and Nausicaa and everything in-between. Celebrated artists, authors, directors, animators and illustrators such as Hayao Miyazaki (Spirited Away) , Federico Fellini (8 ½, Amarcord), William Gibson (Neuromancerand Katsuhiro Otomo (AKIRA) have cited him as a primary or strong influence on their work(s). 

did Marcus Butler just out phan?

in his newest MoreMarcus video he was guessing youtubers names…

when he was asked dan’s full name he got it really quickly.. His friend in the background started teasing him…

Friend: Wow! You love him dont you!

Marcus: haha yeah, Sorry phil, sorry phil!


…why did he apologize to phil for being jokingly in love with dan………………………………………………………………


im no crazy demon phannie but…