his name is bilbo

Culture Shock: Everything You Need To Know About ‘The Lord Of The Rings’

In the 60 years since its release, J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic fantasy series ‘The Lord Of The Rings’ has captivated the imaginations of millions and evolved into a global cultural phenomenon. If you have yet to dip your toes into the series, this primer will give you everything you need to know about the books to hold your own in conversation.

Lord Of The Rings author J.R.R. Tolkien wrote the entire trilogy during one epic bath that lasted 912 days: J.R.R. Tolkien was a very grimy man who needed to take incredibly long baths to manage all his grime. One such bath, taken when he was grimier than usual, ended up lasting a full 912 days, affording him the time to write the entire LOTR trilogy. Written on waterproof paper using a specially constructed floating typewriter, J.R.R. Tolkien’s fingers became so pruney during this lengthy soak that he was forced to write the last few chapters by biting onto the bowl of his pipe and typing with the stem.

J.R.R. Tolkien was inspired to write the series after getting run over by a car driven by a man named Bilbo: While he was a young man serving in the British Army during World War I, Tolkien came up with the core ideas for the LOTR trilogy after getting run over by a big, slow truck driven by a 3-foot-tall Austrian man named Bilbo, who shouted that he was on his way to drive his truck into a volcano to end his life.

Tolkien wrote the books as a gift to his nerd-ass wife: The world has J.R.R. Tolkien’s total dork of a wife to thank for The Lord Of The Rings. Tolkien wrote the books as a gift to his dweeby spouse, who had huge glasses, scoliosis, and a recreational microscope, and whose Geek Squad-lookin’ ass was super into elves and dwarves and all that lame-ass shit. Tolkien reportedly didn’t even like any of that fantasy garbage and preferred to write about cool shit like warplanes and blowjobs.

When Tolkien died, police found his body beneath a goblin who was trying to do CPR on him: Tolkien, who died in 1973, was found unresponsive in his house in Bournemouth, U.K. beneath a frantic goblin who was standing over his body pounding Tolkien’s chest with its stubby paws and attempting mouth-to-mouth between panicked screams. Tolkien, who at that point had been dead for over 72 hours, was unresponsive, but the goblin persisted with the chest compressions until authorities forcibly removed the famed author’s corpse. Had authorities waited any longer to enter Tolkien’s property, the goblin likely would have become hungry and eaten him for sustenance.

The LOTR trilogy was adapted into a popular early-2000s film series called The Magical Adventure Buddies: Loosely adapted from Tolkien’s works, the three-part film series, helmed by director Peter Jackson, smashed box-office records with titles The Magical Adventure Buddies Score Some Radical Treasure (2001), The Magical Adventure Buddies Take New York (2002), and The Magical Adventure Buddies And The Runaway Genie (2003). The outrageous, party-hard antics of protagonist Frodo McAwesome and his ragtag gang of enchanted misfits succeeded in introducing a whole new generation to Tolkien’s works, which otherwise would’ve faded into obscurity.

anonymous asked:

no but if you were to crossbreed a borzoi with a dachshund so the result is simply a short-legged borzoi, then they'd actually be chinese dragons

On an interesting note, there is one case of dwarfism in borzoi from recent memory. His name was Bilbo and he looked like a basset hound wearing a borzoi suit lol. Here he is as a puppy (top and middle are siblings, bottom is Bilbo) :

And here he is as an adult with almost all of his siblings!

He still ran lure courses and lived a happy life as a short boy :) 

there are some respects (especially as regards worldbuilding) in which LOTR is a lot more nuanced and detailed than many later users of the genre conventions it helped popularize and so there’s some stuff that Tolkienesque fantasy gets criticised for that Tolkien himself doesn’t actually tend to do

there’s obviously plenty to criticise in LOTR itself, but it’s not always what seems obvious based on later examples of the genre, and it’s fascinating to see how those tropes have mutated

Alright, the thing I’ve always liked about bagginshield is the sense that Thorin and Bilbo do not need to be infallible around one another. They can be themselves - just Bilbo and Thorin - not Bilbo Baggins of Bag End or Thorin, King Under the Mountain.

A lot has been said already about how Thorin can be himself around Bilbo in a way he can’t be with Dwalin, Balin and even Fili and Kili, because for them he is often a king first and a friend/uncle/whatever second. Around Bilbo he can reveal his weaknesses in a different, more intimate way because he is not Bilbo’s king.

But this is true for Bilbo as well. He is weighed down by the constant pressure of his respectability. He has no close friends in the Shire and so no one to let his guard down with, no one he can be himself around, without being in the shadow of his family name. Bilbo is very much the kind of person who puts on a brave face (and I think he most certainly did this after the deaths of his parents) and we see him do this to an extent after Thorin’s death (he cries at his side, but when he is sat with Gandalf, he just stares into nothingness, nor does he cry in front of the rest of the Company). 

Neither Thorin nor Bilbo needs to put on a brave face around the other. 

Neither of them need to be infallible for the other.

And that is beautiful.

The Heart of the Mountain - Bagginshield Oneshot

Hi! So I wrote this one-shot for @azriona for @fandomtrumpshate  /  @fandomtrumpshateofferings auction! Azriona donated to Planned Parenthood - kudos! Anyways, this is my submission, so I hope y’all like it!


Bilbo wished he were brave enough to stare down those foreign, blue eyes and tell their self-entitled owner he can fetch his own seed cake, thank you very much.

He wished he could have locked the door and blow the candles and shoo the jolly, messy, dwarf-shaped locusts away.

He wished he were brave enough to be rude to his rude guests. He wished he could snuff that knowing smile from Gandalf’s beaming face. He wished for many things.

He wished that dwarf leader, whatever his name was, weren’t so bloody handsome.

He wished, as he carried the last of his seed cakes and offered it to the dwarf (who didn’t even bother to look up and acknowledge his presence, the arrogant prick) that his eyes weren’t so vividly blue, that his presence didn’t storm through Bilbo’s entire being and filled his humble abode with dreams of adventure, that his voice didn’t vibrate within Bilbo’s very core, that he didn’t smell of earth and rain and ashen pipe-smoke…

He hid in his room, waiting for the normalcy of his life to settle around him and erase Thorin Oakenshield from his thoughts. He fell asleep, dreaming of foreign words and blue eyes and dragons.

Oddly enough, he was displeased to wake up and find the merry company (and its grumpy leader) gone. Almost like a night vision he didn’t dream to its end and now, once awake, failed to remember – he wished for more.

He wanted more.

Bilbo dashed out of his house, contract in hand and handkerchief forgotten, to chase yesterday’s dream of blue, blue eyes.


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Falling Stars (2)

Originally posted by ladyoflaketownimagines


Pairing: none yet! (fem reader btw) (but shoot me a pairing!)
Word count: 1,242                                                                                            Summary; You just wanted a normal day for once but turns out you just can’t and end falling into middle earth and accompanying Thorin’s epic quest         Warnings: Swearing, awkward reader, modern!oblivious!reader   


It was a dream-it had to be, or else it was a really shitty prank and you were having none of it.

“I’m dreaming, it must be a dream. Yeah, no way I’m actually here…sitting in the middle of fucking nowhere with dwarves… J-just a dream.” You whispered to yourself, your arms covering your head while you rocked back and forth. Maybe if you closed your eyes and just concentrated you’d wake up in your own bed with a hangover, the only explanation to this wild occurrence.

“If yer tryin’ to wish us away, it ‘ent workin’.” One of them commented.

Fuck me, you wailed internally.

You really did have the worst luck in the world. Only you would end up in a situation like this; thrown off a cliff, betrayed by your own foot, and teleported into an alternate reality of some sort with tiny men sporting excess amounts of hair and various sharp weapons. Although, nearly right after you fell into mild hysteria, the only normal sized person here who had a grey beard and pointy hat came to your rescue with a cup of tea and gentle reassurance. He called himself Gandalf and he patiently explained where you were and who the strange men around were.

Like that helped any.

And after having that slight panic attack, you seated yourself on the ground as the Company eyed you with pity. Thus leading us to the present time, where you still sat.      

“Oh, I really shouldn’t of poured beer on that tree!” You sobbed, earning a few confused stares.

“My dear,” Gandalf sighed, placing a gentle hand on your shaking shoulder. “I do not know how you fell into this world, no do I know how to return you to your own, but for your own sake you eventually must get up.”

“It’s better down here.”

Another collective sigh. Gandalf scoffed and shook his head, you were nearly as stubborn as a dwarf!

“Why-”

“Gandalf, let me speak with the girl.” A deep rumbling voice interjected what the old wizard was about to say. You could feel the power behind his words and how rich each syllable sounded, leading you to the notion that perhaps the speaker was somehow had ties to royalty or just really full of himself.

Heavy footsteps stomped over to your hunched figure, steel-tipped boots entering the slanted view through your crossed arms. You curled into yourself even more as he let out his own deep sigh and muttered something under his breath.

Just as you parted your lips to threaten the dwarf into leaving you alone, a rough hand snatched your arm and yanked you from the ground with enough force to eject you into the sun, most likely. “Get up.”

You squeaked in surprise and nearly toppled face first into the dwarf, but his firm grip on your arm steadied you. You readied a poisonous glare just for him, but it died away and you though better of it after seeing his own cold scowl that rivaled your own. You were taken aback after putting the tone of his voice to a face and just like his words, he was powerful and rich in features.

“That wasn’t speaking,” you grumbled after a slight pause. “that was manhandling.”

The left end of his darkly bearded lips twitched ever so slightly in response to your sass, and he quirked a dark brow. “I saw no other option.”

With that he released your arm and spun on his heel, midnight locks streaked with silver flowing behind him. “Dwalin, keep an eye on her.”

Gandalf tutted in reply and waved an arm over your shoulders, wheeling you away before the even scarier dwarf with geometric tattoos and muscles for days could keep you tethered to his side.

As Gandalf led you to God-knows-where, you surveyed your surroundings and couldn’t help but admire the surrounding scenery of rolling green hills, distant forests, and brooding mountains far to the east. Even if you were here against your will, it sure beat any scenery back at home you thought impressive. But it still didn’t make up for the sharp pang of home sickness…

***********************************************************************************************

It turned out your unexpected arrival delayed whatever it was the group of dwarves, a wizard, and an even smaller creature with bare hairy feet that puzzled you greatly, were doing and so, sooner than you liked, you were hoisted onto a pony without your consent. Not like they cared of course…

The first few days they were skeptical of you tagging along(not that you wanted to), especially Thorin who you assumed to be the leader of them, but a few stern words from a meddling wizard changed his mind. But who could blame them? You pretty much fell from the sky and landed smack-dab in the middle of their camp without warning. Who wouldn’t be suspicious?

At least the strange little creature seemed to take an instant liking towards you and shared his sympathies. And after a few attempts of trying to engaging you in conversation you learned his name; Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit from the Shire. You didn’t know what a hobbit was or why he was abnormally short with hairy feet, but you found him quite adorable and his odd mannerisms piqued you interest. He even offered to share his blanket with you!

You soon learned during the long hours of endless traveling that the Company was on a quest of sorts to reclaim a mountain lost to an over sized lizard with wings. Bilbo and some other members of the company thought your snide comment about Smaug was funny, Thorin did not and you succeeded in creating an even more horrid situation for yourself. Oh well.

Then there was the princes, Fíli and Kíli, whom you almost immediately became fast friends with after sharing ideas on how to properly prank a person. Not to mention your biting remarks that Fíli and Kíli found absolutely marvelous. Their particular favorite sassy remark being the one where you might of accidentally told their Uncle he had a stick up his ass in front of the whole Company. Oops.

And how could you forget about Bofur and Ori? Your first night with the Company, after easing back into your own skin after the traumatizing experience of falling into another world, you cracked a bawdy joke to ease some of the tension you had caused and Bofur eagerly responded with an even filthier one. A start of a beautiful friendship you liked to think.

Ori was shy and you all but adored him. He even gave you his extra change of clothing(you had never seen anyone blush as red as he did in that moment) and sheepishly showed you some of his drawings on the third night.

In the short time you had been here you began to grow fond of the Company, even Mr. Thorin Grumpypants and his dutiful sidekick, the miniature Hulk minus the green skin and a whole lot more tattoos than the actual Hulk. Though, even the two in mention, begrudgingly realized that you had grown on them, even if you were a bit odd and swore like a sailor.

You momentarily forgot about your life in the modern world, but you were reminded each time you felt yourself subconsciously reach for your phone to check your social media and your Snap Streaks.

Wait…If you were here and your phone was sitting on your bedside table in another dimension that meant-

“My Snapchat streaks!”

anonymous asked:

How about Thilbo for the ship thingy?

  • How did they they meet?

well as we all know! their first meeting in bag end 

  • Who developed romantic feelings first?

i tend to go back and forth between who i think developed romantic feelings first but i would like to say thorin. we know bilbo has trouble with his own feelings and naming them, so i think he probably doesn’t understand/realize his feelings for thorin at first. meanwhile thorin is already head-over-heels for his grump

  • Who is their biggest “shipper?”

ooh hmmm just by far, the company all together. theyre relieved the day bilbo and thorin finally get together 

  • When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

i wanna say their first kiss is like one of those ‘oh god youre alive’ moments, where just like theyre so overwhelmed seeing that the other is okay and they end up kissing. like. mid-battle field even? yes

  • Who confessed their feelings first?

i like to imagine it kind of happens at the same time?? where they just both plan to do it around the same time and its one of those ‘i have something to important to tell you’ at the same time, interrupting each other and its a back and forth of ‘no, you go first’ until one of them finally just says it. i feel its bilbo though. hes just like ‘alright we are getting NOWHERE’ 

  • What was their first official date?

hmmm going with a middle earth everyone lives au while answering this so… idk they go on walks and stuff, they spend a lot of time together pre confession, so maybe their first date is a simple walk around erebor! 

  • How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

they would definitely go on double/group dates with other dwarf couples around! but it just sort of ends up like theyre hanging out with all their friends 

  • What do they do in their down time?

since thorin is super super busy kinging, they dont have much down time. thorins ‘down time’ is usually doing extra paperwork while bilbo makes him tea and tries to get him to go to bed 

  • What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

WELL. their parents are… all dead? as far as we know. but maybe if thorins mother was alive they could meet and she just loves bilbo, they have tea all the time. also i love AUs of Thrain surviving (shoutout and rec to That Which Begets Affection (Is Silent) ) and loving Bilbo too 

  • What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

*side-eyes the whole Arkenstone fight* thats my only answer but i imagine it is something they spend time working on and regaining trust with each other 

  • Which one is more easily made jealous?

i dont really think either of them, thorin is confident in their relationship. if anything, bilbo is a little wary of the dwarves that probably faun over thorin as king but hey… hes king, its gonna happen

  • What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

oh together i guess?? thorin will eat whatever bilbo makes, or at least he TRIES to… hes not a big fan of the greens but he wants to make bilbo happy and food is one way of doing that. 

  • Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

thorin is a cuddly monster and he just loves to wrap around bilbo, spooning him basically. bilbo sort of rolls his eyes when it happens but hes secretly super happy about it. he also likes to hold bilbo in his lap 

  • Are they hand holders?

mostly in private but yes!!!! thorin likes to hold bilbos hand a lot and bilbo doesnt mind when he reading to hold thorins hand and just have him there 

  • How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

im assuming this is meant to be sexual, probably so… i say it takes them a while to get to this point, like they share a bed a night long before they ever actually engage in it. and i think it just happens. there isnt any big reason for it really, no special occasion. 

  • Who tops?

my personal opinion is that theyre super versatile so there really isnt particular roles. but you all know i love thorin bottoming the most 

  • What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

probably the Arkenstone thing… 

  • Who does the shopping and the cooking?

mostly Bilbo. i think thorin sometime will do the shopping but he just doesnt always have the time to stop at the market and bilbo is a better cook (thorin can make a variety of dishes well but hes just not as talented as bilbo) 

  • Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

hmmm i wanna say thorin. we have seen bag end post quest and its kinda messy (its actually fairly messy before the quest, theres just books everywhere in piles) 

  • Who proposes?

similar to the confession, it happens at the same time. theyre both planning some sort of event with separate groups of dwarves and they dont realize until its too late! so bilbos trying to propose at the same thorin is and they keep interrupting each other until they see whats happening. 

yes i love this trope a lot 

  • Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

im just trying to imagine bilbo baggins at a bachelor party sorry its just really funny to me. i think they probably dont care but the dwarves would throw them separate ones

  • Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

oh gosh well thorin’s best man would probably be dwalin?? and i guess bilbo’s would be bofur! but just probably imagine the entirety of the company is involved in the wedding party (and frodo is the ring bearer– sorry this is a terrible joke–)

  • Big Ceremony or Small?

erebor wise it would be big since thorin is the king and i imagine that dwarves throw huge parties. the shire would be big too! hobbits love parties. 

in an alternate, they have a tiny ass marriage ceremony while theyre traveling around arda 

  • Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?

they probably couldnt in an au where thorin is king but i always like the idea of them taking a holiday to explore the world 

Mounting Dwarvish Absurdities

In which Thorin convinces Bilbo to ride one of Erebor’s war rams. Written for @anunexpectedanniversary!! Also here on AO3.


“You have got to be kidding me.”

Bilbo placed his hands on his hips, settling the dwarf in front of him with an unimpressed glare. Thorin hardly blinked, unfazed by the hobbit’s indignation.

“I know not what you mean, ghivashel,” he replied stiffly.

“Did you actually think I would set even one foot near that - that beast?” Bilbo exclaimed.

Thorin’s eyes narrowed as the hobbit’s words hit their mark. “This is one of our finest battle rams,” he corrected icily, turning to give the monstrous creature an affectionate stroke along one of its dangerously long, curved horns. The creature snorted, wide nostrils flaring as it tilted its head into the King’s touch.

Bilbo most certainly did not yelp, nor did he jump away.

“It’s a glorified farm animal!” he yelled, hand over his furiously beating heart. “And I’m not getting on it!”

“You dare insult the ways of my people?” Thorin growled, though his words lacked any real heat.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Bilbo grumbled as he turned to leave. “I’m not getting on and that’s final!”

“I see,” Thorin conceded with a sigh. “I did not think you would be so easily frightened.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes, hands throwing up in the air exasperatedly. “If you’re trying to goad me, may I remind you that I’m not some egotistical, clot-headed dwarf who will get himself killed just to prove a point?”

“Not at all,” Thorin said, trying for an air of resignation as he leaned against the fence enclosing the animals in. He failed miserably. “I am merely surprised the brave hobbit who fearlessly stood against a dragon cannot bring himself to ride a perfectly tame farm animal.” As he spoke, the King’s lips curved into a suspiciously triumphant smirk.

“Smaug was different,” Bilbo scoffed, unmoved by the taunt. “I had both feet securely planted on the ground at all times.” He gestured emphatically at the large appendages, currently nestled in some soft, sun-warmed grass.

“So it is a matter of keeping your unnaturally large, leather-soled, furry feet on the ground.”

“It is a matter of keeping my respectably-sized feet on the ground,” Bilbo corrected, wagging his finger as he added, “And don’t act as though you don’t love my feet hair!”

“That is not a matter to discuss at the present,” Thorin said through clenched teeth, the fierceness of his growled reply lost somewhat as he looked away, cheeks visibly heating. “But if you wish, I will make a deal with you.”

“A deal?” Bilbo repeated, snorting in disbelief. “And what could you possibly offer me?”

“I will stop teaching you how to swim,” the King revealed triumphantly.

Bilbo blinked in surprise. It was a tempting offer - Thorin was a horrible teacher, not to mention Bilbo was a completely unwilling pupil. His swimming lessons involved Thorin ambushing Bilbo in the underground pool they used for bathing, and trying to drag him, kicking and screaming, to the deep middle. Bilbo had taken to bathing only when Thorin was stuck in a meeting, and even then he did so as quickly as possible, looking around nervously for any attacking dwarf Kings.

Thorin’s smirk widened smugly as Bilbo pondered the deal. If there was one thing Bilbo hated more than the King’s defeated pout, it was his self-satisfied gloat.

“Fine,” Bilbo grumbled finally, ignoring the way his ridiculous betrothed preened obnoxiously.

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A Letter Home

Title: A Letter Home

 Prompt: @life-is-righteous Nori. This is for my 26 Day Birthday Celebration.  I decided to do something new for this one, I hope you like it.

 Summary: You receive a letter from your husband Nori while he is on the journey to reclaim Erebor.  It is has cute moments, funny moments, moments that rip your heart out, but you wouldn’t change a single dot of an ‘I’ of it, because it is from your Nori.

 Warnings: Fluff.  Slight Angst. But Mainly Fluff.  

Originally posted by xladythiefnori

 

My Dearest One,

I hope this letter finds you quickly.  I’m sorry I couldn’t send one sooner, but stealing paper and ink from Ori is probably easier than prying a cold coin from a dragon’s clutches.  Okay, okay.  One: I know that probably wasn’t a funny joke.  Two: I know you are sitting there shaking your head wondering why I don’t just ask him for it.  I can hear your voice, clear as day speaking, “He is your brother, I’m sure if you asked him and told him what it was for he would offer it to you.”  But my love, where is the challenge in that?

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happy 3rd gotcha day to my boy boo

name: Bilbo Jet Walker

haha no seriously his real name: Boone

species: turkey drumstick

star sign: Libra

alignment: Chaotic Good Boy

turn ons: leaving your sandwich unattended for a minute while you go to use the bathroom, squirrels

turn offs: weather thats over 68 ° f

The clumsy and the grumpy (Part 7)

Based on: this imagine from @thereandbackagainimagines + this imagine from @imaginexhobbit.

A lot of people asked me when I would have updated this story.. I hope you like this new chapter!!!! Can you get the “Pulp Fiction” reference?

@sdavid09 asked to be tagged so here you are!!!!

Warnings: MIND THE STEP.

“THE CLUMSY AND THE GRUMPY” series: all the episodes

Originally posted by thorinoakenshieldconfessions

“Oh, Bard! His name is Bard!” says Bilbo, exasperated.

“How do you know?” Dwalin inquires.

“Uh… I asked him” he says simply.

You, the Hobbit and Ori are curled on Bard’s boat, pressed against each other and trying to get some warmth, trembling like little, scared, wet birds.

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Bagginshield Musings - Secret Names

Since dwarves have outer and inner names, I wonder about the circumstances under which Thorin tells Bilbo his secret name …

I imagine he does so almost casually, as if it was nothing special at all. Like, Bilbo has recently begun to study Khuzdul, and Thorin’s like “There’s one word you should know.” And when Bilbo asks what it means, he answers “That’s my inner name.”

Maybe Bilbo doesn’t know what this means at this point, but he reads something about it, or somebody tells him (if it’s a member of the company, they won’t be surprised that Thorin has told his hobbit his secret name – we saw that coming!), and it makes him utterly speechless … until he sees Thorin again, and then he will shout at him for not telling him earlier what an important thing inner names are, and for being such a sop. And yes, he uses both of Thorin’s names – the inner and the outer – when he shouts at him …

Imagine the company finding you on their journey to Erebor and Bilbo can't help but crush on you badly, only he doesn't know that you find him adorable too

For triggerharpy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having walked for a solid day, the company, quite understandably, were beyond exhausted. Their eyelids drooped, their backs ached and every muscle in their legs begged for rest. Only now, when the sky was growing dark and the sun had sank below the horizon, could they give in to that desire.

“We’ll stop here for the night.” Grumbled Thorin as they came upon a clearing in a woods.

Before he’d even finished his sentence they had all but thrown their packs onto the ground in relief. Some of them simply lay down then and there and within seconds were snoring loudly, some began to work on a fire in the hopes that the heat would soothe their aching joints, others decided food was top priority…including Bilbo.

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Thorin/Bilbo bonding moments, and relationship/friendship progress under The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

  • Thorin now trusts Bilbo enough to let him do significant lookouts, and in doing so, now shows he completely trusts his judgment.
  • Bilbo is sleeping second closest to Thorin, after only Kili(seemingly)
  • When Bilbo wakes up at Beorn’s house and walks up to the table, we switch to a shot of Thorin looking Bilbo’s way and then suddenly glancing in a different direction.*
  • When Bofur points out Bilbo’s disappearance, Thorin looks devastated.
  • Thorin apparently refuses to believe Bilbo is dead, and is now confident in Bilbo’s ability as a burglar. Here he shows he trusts Bilbo with his life, whereas in the first movie, he’d have assumed Bilbo had betrayed them.
  • Thorin’s look as he says “not our only hope”. He has placed his faith in Bilbo’s hands, and the way he looks up is filled with beautiful feelings.*
  • Bilbo approaches and opens Thorin’s cage first.
  • While Thorin would obviously be overjoyed anybody saved him at this point, but honestly; the way he looked at Bilbo is the film definition of “He looked as though he could’ve kissed him” or “he looked at her as if he’d never seen her before”. There’s just so much raw emotion there, all for Bilbo to see. I think it’s amazing. It’s as if Bilbo was an angel shining through Thorin’s darkness and misery.
  • Bilbo holds eye contact with Thorin just the bit longer than necessary when opening his door- with the other dwarrows, he barely even glances at them.
  • The way Thorin looks at Bilbo in awe after being freed is so admiring… he looks so overwhelmed.
  • Bilbo sighs and looks pleadingly at Thorin-he now has enough confidence with Thorin he’s able to ask him to do things.
  • Nobody trusts Bilbo’s judgment except Thorin.
  • I will never get over the fact that Bilbo making pleading doe-eyes at Thorin is enough for the dwarf to start ordering the others. It’s just so funny to me.
  • They share a look and a reassuring little head bow.
  • Thorin held back the barrels waiting for Bilbo. As much as he preaches about not risking the fate of the quest, it is exactly what he was doing at that moment.
  • Thorin praises Bilbo good humouredly, with a smile evident in his voice.
  • He grabs Bilbo during one river sequence. For further evidence about this, see x.
  • After the shot of Bilbo slaying the orc, we see a shot of Thorin, looking at Bilbo slaying the orc with subtle marvel.
  • Thorin standing very close to Bilbo during Bard’s attack (?). Bilbo almost seems to be backing up against him.
  • After Bilbo reveals he asked for Bard’s name, Thorin moves position and looks significantly grumpier.
  • Bilbo looks up at Thorin as if expecting he will solve the financial problem.
  • Thorin and Bilbo seem to have developed a system of non-verbal communication; having just exited the barrels, Thorin and Bilbo give each other a little nod before Thorin allows Bilbo to walk before him.
  • Bilbo walks to a brooding Thorin and initiates small talk- this, in the first movie, would’ve been unthinkable.
  • Thorin sends in his two most trusted thieves-Nori and Bilbo- first into the weaponry, thus acknowledging Bilbo’s skills in burglary.
  • When they are presented to the Master, Thorin yet again stands closest to Bilbo.
  • On the boat, Bilbo is seated just behind Thorin’s back, as the Queen would.
  • Bilbo and Thorin once again display a relationship of trust where Bilbo can question Thorin without him being mad about it.
  • “You have keen eyes Master Baggins”, he says standing very close to him.
  • Bilbo is walking just before Thorin up to Erebor, meaning they’d have to assist each other up the stairs. Not to mention, Thorin prioritizes Bilbo’s safety before getting the first gaze upon the door to Erebor.
  • Bilbo pleading Thorin not to give up his dream.
  • Thorin’s hand lingering too long on Bilbo’s chest as he gives him the map.
  • Bilbo desperately trying to help Thorin and the dwarrows to find their home, showing he puts the Dwarrows’ dream before coming home to Bag End.
  • Thorin/Bilbo PG-18 eyesex.
  • Thorin/Bilbo eye contact continues until it is physically impossible for Thorin to pick up the key without breaking contact.
  • Thorin looks wrecked. Of course, he just set loose a dragon and has obvious case for concern, but don’t try to tell me that expression doesn’t also mean he’s super worried for Bilbo.
  • Balin pleading Thorin to save Bilbo, saying that the Thorin he knew wouldn’t hesitate to save Bilbo. Balin knows Thorin really cares for Bilbo, and tries to plead to the side of Thorin to which Bilbo is important.
  • Even as he dismisses the idea of saving Bilbo, Thorin’s voice is thick and shaky. He even seems to have a hard time pronouncing “Burglar”- His two halves are battling intensely.
  • Smaug using “Oakenshield” rather than “The dwarves” when trying to lure Bilbo out.
  • Bilbo desperately trying to tell both Smaug and himself that Thorin does not use him.
  • Bilbo deeply troubled by the madness that is about to corrupt Thorin’s heart.
  • Thorin actually came for Bilbo in the end. Yet again, he risked the fate of the Quest.
  • Thorin breathing “you’re alive” in complete relief, instead of  just a nod which Bilbo would have received in the first movie.
  • Bilbo definitely notices something is off with Thorin, he sees that something is wrong, and that Thorin wouldn’t threaten him under normal circumstances, thus tries to plead “Thorin” to the Thorin that is sane.
  • Thorin stands before Bilbo with his sword drawn to defend him from the dragon.
  • Bilbo and Thorin yet again run just along each other.
  • Thorin rather risking his life than put Bilbo in danger.
  • Bilbo reluctant to leave Thorin, and Balin having to drag him away.
  • Thorin calls Bilbo “Bilbo” instead of “Burglar” as a rectification. Balin told him his name was Bilbo, and Thorin remembers this, and uses Bilbo’s name as a form of apology- he’s not “Burglar”, he’s “Bilbo”- a dear member of the company, and a friend to Thorin.
  • Thorin gently touches Bilbo’s back as he orders him(when ordering Bombur, he simply yells at him, even though they were at the same distance as he and Bilbo.)
  • It could definitely be argued that Thorin leads Smaug away from Bilbo to help him get off the platform with the lever.*
  • “Keep going Bilbo”, yet again, a use of Bilbo’s name. Not only this, but also a sort of “I trust you Bilbo, you can do it!

These are just things I noticed re-watching it the seventh time with slash goggles. Feel free to point out flaws or further moments I missed.

*edited post, i added moments which i had not noticed, but were pointed out to me by a very kind and sharp-eyed tumblr user, Shadow-rue

Alright but what about a biker!AU

Thorin and the company are all bikers who are traveling throughout the country. They all look metal af; piercings, braids, beards, tattoos, dressed in leather, some of them smoke cigarettes. And they’re motorcycles have loud engines too.

Bilbo’s car broke down on the side of the road along some barren interstate highway. There’s no phone reception or anything remotely helpful. But then Thorin and his company show up, stopping to help this stranger because hey, it would be a dick move if they didn’t.

At first, Bilbo’s all like “I don’t need any help from the likes of you thanks” but Kíli doesn’t take no for an answer (“please, mr boggins, you’ll be stuck here for days”). So Bilbo allows Dwalin (who’s a mechanic) to look at his car to see the problem.

Turns out that none of them have the parts to spare. However, Thorin’s got an extra helmet and offers Bilbo a lift to the next town over. Bilbo reluctantly agrees, sitting behind him and telling him that he better not dare crash the motorcycle or “so help me god I will sue you”.

They reach the town in one piece pretty late at night. The company invite Bilbo for drinks, to which Bilbo goes “eh fuck it” and decides to go. Over a couple beers, the company tell about their personal lives. Bombur’s got a large family, Kíli is engaged, Dwalin has four dogs who were rescued, Ori majored in history, Balin owns a bookstore, Thorin lives with a cat named Smaug who hates his guts. Bilbo opens up as well, telling them of his garden and nosy neighbors. By the time the night is through, they’ve all become friends.

And Thorin - who totally doesn’t have a crush what are you talking about, Dwalin? - invites Bilbo on a whim to join their merry band of bikers. Bilbo agrees (“why not. I’m in a strange town, my car is fifty miles away, it’s summer. I’ve got nothing to lose”). When Fíli points out there aren’t enough motorcycles, Thorin says that Bilbo could ride with him (“if that suits you, of course, mr baggins”).

“So long as you don’t crash.”