his last name is hey man!!!!

4

I was in Atlanta last week, shooting a film, and I went in a convenience store to get a pack of gums and water, and there’s a guy there, his name tag says “Paul”. And I just- I was buying what I was buying and he said to me, “Hey, man, I’ll be watching March, 18th!” I said, “Cool, pal. I hope you like it!” and he goes, “Yeah, I hope so too,” and just like, gives me this death stare.

Best non-planned date ever

Dan is looking around embarrassed. The waiter just came around for the 6th time asking if he was ready to order. Dan asked her yet again for more time for his date to arrive. He has sent Michael a text nearly an hour ago when he got to the restaurant but he has not even bothered to reply. People keep looking at Dan understanding that he is getting stood up as they look apologetic in their eyes at him. Dan just stares at his phone and sips some wine. Another 15 minutes go bye and still nothing. Dan decides he should get up and leave before someone sits with him.

“Hey oh my god I am so sorry I am so late.” He says loudly enough for everyone around to here. “My name is Phil, just go with it; the person who you were waiting for is obviously an idiot for not showing up for such a cute man.” Dan blushes at the last comment. Dan decides to go with it, not like he has anything else to do. The waiter comes around seeing another person sitting with Dan and they both order the same dish at the same time causing both of them to laugh.

They spend this imaginary date getting to know each other. They have nearly everything in common. The only thing that is really different about them is the color of their eyes. Dan has these brown eyes and Phil has gorgeous greeny yellow blue eyes. They chat the time away for hours. It is well past midnight and they had been there for 4 hours, Dan being 5 since he showed up. They both decided to leave. Not once did Dan’s actual date even attempts to contact him.

“Ya know it is a shame your actual date didn’t show up, he is really missing out on something extremely special.” Phil says standing close to Dan once they are outside on the sidewalk.

“Thanks, I at least expected him to contact me to tell me why he didn’t show, but nothing. I think this is defiantly the end of me and him.”

“Firstly, I am sorry, it must truly suck. Secondly, now you are available, how about me and you go on an actual planned date sometime soon?”

[To Be Named] Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader (1/?)

This is my first RPF ever, and my first fanfiction since early December of last year, so this probably sucks, but hey, new Lin-Manuel Miranda fanfiction series that will eventually turn smutty!

Warnings: Kinda spicy at the beginning, tons of alcohol/references to drinking

Word Count: 1385

~~~

Eyes hazy, vision blurred from how much alcohol you had consumed earlier that night, you pull the man whose face you can’t quite make out back towards you, smashing his lips against yours. Limbs tangle, clothes messily scatter across the room, groans and curses leave lips, and before either of you knew it, you both had drunkenly finished and passed out, body warmth lingering between you two.

-Earlier That Night-

Throwing on a dress that you had bought weeks earlier, a well fitting black one, you turned around to face your mirror, pulling down at the back of the dress to keep it from riding up too far. You pick up your phone and text your friend, Phillipa, who you were going to go out with for the night.

‘Hey, I’m ready! Pick me up early and we can get a little buzz going on beforehand’

You know she can’t resist the wine you have.

‘Damn you and your stupidly good alcohol cabinet. I’ll be over in 5.’

Keep reading

Headcannons: Kuroo

-Has used every hair product in Japan to try and flatten his bedhead.

-EXTREMELY protective over his combs. No one must contaminate them.

-Has broken many of his female classmates’ hair pins.

-Can flip his pencil like a fucking pro.

-Has flicked his pencil into someones eye at practice. We don’t mention that now.

-Whenever someone on the team has a birthday, Kuroo is at their doorstep in 0.2 seconds with presents and a cupcake.

-Birthdays are a HUGE deal to him. Like nothing get pass this man; “Oh hey name-chan! Tell your Aunt I said happy birthday! And your Grandma as well, hers was last month, 3rd July, yeah?”

-Can recite every periodic element on the table by heart.

-Is the biggest chemistry nerd in existence. 

-Verified virgin.

-Can’t sleep with more than 2 blankets on, he just dies.

-Kenma-Cuddles are his weakness.


/Hope this was okay? I tried pf/

The Ask

MOREID – written for a prompt in which Spencer likes Derek but is afraid to ask him out because the last time he did, he got punched and called names. He knows Derek won’t, but is sure of rejection. Happy reading!
Author: @thebeautifultimesofladybrooklynn

The Ask

“Hey, pretty boy,” Derek flashed his gorgeous smile to Spencer as he strode to his desk.

“H-hey, Morgan,” Spencer choked out as he felt his heart rate quicken.

As he contemplated the many reasons why he’d felt so drawn to Derek, why his breathing grew erratic in his presence, and why his body seemed to take control of his mind, Spencer’s eyes followed the older man as he sat back in his chair. They drank in the sight of Derek’s flawless skin, the way it wrapped around his neck and draped the curve of his trapezius muscle. When he leaned back in his chair, it tugged on his shirt, pulling it tightly over his abdominals which allowed Spencer to witness them budge and swell in motion under its cotton fabric.

He could feel his parted lips begin to moisten as his body reacted to the appealing vision, all the while, his brain firing off images of Derek’s body in less clothing, then in no clothing, then against his own.

Catching himself mid-fantasy, Spencer took a deep breath in as his eyes scanned the room, making sure no one had observed his minor indulgence.

Just as he felt safe, assured that no one had been in evidence, Spencer felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

It was Garcia.

Spencer exhaled as he opened it, vexed by Garcia’s constant attempts to try and force her love of technology upon him.

Whatcha staring at, Reid?

Spencer’s face went pale as he read the message. Though his head remained down, his eyes scanned the room once more, finding no trace of Garcia.

Making effort to text back as quickly and efficiently as a technophobe could, Spencer wasn’t surprised when she had sent another message before he could send his reply.

You know I don’t have to be in the room to see you. Computers are everywhere. They’re taking over, and I shall be their queen!

Spencer pursed his lips, a slight smile peeking through them, as he shoved his phone back into his pocket and rose from his desk, heading to Garcia’s lair of endless screens.

As he pushed the door open, Garcia greeted him, “Welcome, boy wonder. How may I assist thee?”

“By not watching me on your cameras. It’s so creepy.”

“I wasn’t watching you,” she scoffed as she enlarged one of the video feeds of the bullpen area. “I was watching this gorgeous piece of chocolate thunder.”

Turning her head to Spencer, Garcia grinned and raised an eyebrow.

“Just happened to notice that you were enjoying the view as much as I was.”

“I was not,” Spencer rebuffed.

“Then why are your eyes glued to my screen right now?”

“They’re not,” he lied, but again his body refused to listen to his mind. It was yelling at him, begging his eyes to look away, to look at Garcia or the door, the wall, anywhere but Derek Morgan on the screen, but they disobeyed. For the first time in his life, Spencer’s mind had lost control.

“Alright, fine,” he exhaled harshly as she patted the seat next to her.

He twisted his mouth a bit, studying her facial expressions in an effort to determine her motive, before deciding to sit down with her.

His eyes continuously flashed from Garcia to the screen, for the screen to Garcia.

“So, how long has this been going on?”

“How long has what been going on?”

“You and Derek.”

“There is no me and Derek,” Spencer said, a trace was of sadness evident in his voice.

“Ok, so how long have you wanted there to be a you and Derek?”

“I don’t know,” his eyebrows raised as he spoke astonished, moving his eyes away from the screen to meet her gaze. “It’s so strange. I can, I can give you dates, times, hours, minutes, seconds to just about every event that’s ever happened in my life or even to ones I’ve only read about or heard in conversation, but I… I can’t remember when this started. This feeling. I, I don’t even know exactly when it changed, when I stopped seeing him as Morgan and started seeing him as…”

“As gorgeous Derek Morgan, the most perfect example of a human being the earth as ever seen?”

“Yeah,” Spencer chuckled, looking back to the screen, “Yeah, he kind of is exactly that, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. So, you’ve had this feeling for a while then, right?”

“Right,” Spencer looked back to her, “At least a year. I mean, that’s when I realized my feelings for him had changed. I don’t know how long it’s really been.”

“Ok, so why haven’t you asked him out?”

Spencer face went pale as panic spread across his features.

“I… No, I couldn’t,” he said shakily but stern.

“Why? What is it?” She could see the fear in his face.

“I just… I tried that once. Not with Morgan, with… With someone else.”

“You tried what? Asking him out?”

“Yeah, and it didn’t go well.”

“Oh, well, Reid, everyone gets rejected. That’s just a part of life, but that doesn’t mean you just never try again!”

“Does everyone get punched in the face and called…” He exhaled, looking to his feet, “I don’t think Morgan would h-hit me or say those things to me, but–”

“Those things? Someone hit you? Reid! What happened?” Garcia placed her hand on his comfortingly as she watched her friend’s face grow solemn and embarrassed.

“I just was at a bar, and you know how I hate bars, but Jordan made me go with her and Emily was there, and they were so at ease with it, with everything. They found these three guys to talk to and dance with, and they ended up coupling off. So, I was left alone with one. He was really nice and he was interested in everything I said, and I watched the way Jordan and Emily were with the guys they were focused on and I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to be able to meet new people and have these drunken bar experiences. I don’t know. I went for it, and I just asked him out. But, he shoved me away from him, and when Jordan and Emily saw they came back over, his friends came back over, and when they did he, um, he called me some names, and then he hit me.”

“Oh, Reid. I’m so sorry–”

“It’s ok. Emily bloodied his nose. I didn’t see her do it, but when Jordan helped me off the floor, I saw him bleeding and one of his friends told her she was lucky she was a woman. Of course, he used different verbiage. I just, it was crazy, and I don’t really want to repeat that.”

“Reid, Derek would never–”

“I know. I know he wouldn’t hit me or cuss at me or anything. That stuff only hurt worse with that guy. Some random guy that I don’t know or care about. But Morgan would just say no. He’d turn me down, and I’m sure he’d be kind about it, but in his mind, he’d be thinking exactly what they were. I just… I can’t imagine him thinking badly of me or not wanting to be around me anymore. It would be so terrible for the job. I couldn’t… I just couldn’t.”

“You don’t know that he’d reject you, Reid. Even if he did, I don’t think his feelings about you as a friend and colleague would change.”

Spencer’s lips pursed to one side as he regarded the screens again, this time with glistening eyes. He wanted Derek. He wanted him so badly, but he knew he’d never have him.

“I should, uh, I should get back to work,” he smiled at Garcia as he rose from the chair. “Thanks for the talk.”

“No problem,” she could only muster a half smile as she spoke.

Spencer left the room, closing the door behind him. When he turned away from it to head back down the hall, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“M-Morgan,” he exclaimed caught off guard by the agent’s unexpected presence.

“Sorry, kid. Didn’t mean to scare you,” Derek grinned, raising his arm and planting his palm against the wall by Spencer’s shoulder.

“So, listen, now that I got you alone for a minute, I wanted to ask you something.”

Spencer’s attempts at nonchalance failed, and his worry seeped through his smile.

“Oh. Oh, ok. Yeah, um, sure,” he rambled as quickly as his mind raced. He was sure Derek caught him staring or, worse yet, had somehow overheard his conversation with Garcia.

“You ok?” Derek’s brows furrowed a bit before he continued.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” Spencer swallowed harshly.

“Ok,” Derek’s tone seemed a bit dissatisfied with Spencer’s answer, but he let it go.

As the smile spread across his lips again, Derek looked around the hallway, making sure it was empty before he continued.

“Ok, so, tonight’s Friday, right? What’s young Dr. Reid getting into?”

“I, um, n-nothing,” Spencer smiled briefly.

“Good, then you’re coming out with me.”

“Oh, no, Morgan. No, I hate bars and clubs, and every time I go with you guys, you just leave me. I end up alone at a table or awkwardly talking to someone I don’t know while you’re all off with–”

“Slow… Your roll,” Derek grinned, “I didn’t mean you’re coming out to a bar with me, I meant you’re coming out with me,” his eyebrow raised flirtatiously, “To dinner. Then maybe a movie. What do you say?”

“D-dinner and, and a movie?” Spencer exhaled heavily through his smile, “Sounds like a…”

“Like a date,” Derek finished, “Because it is one.”

The smile faded from Spencer’s lips as they parted in shock and confusion. His eyebrows raised in disbelief as he whispered, “It is one?”

“Yeah, what do you say?”

“I, um, I,” he stuttered as he smiled, “I would love that. I would love to go.”

“Great,” Derek smiled as he removed his arm from the wall. “Pick you up at 7?”

“Yeah,” Spencer’s smiled widened, “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

“Ok,” Derek grinned accomplished, “See you then, pretty boy.”

“See you then,” he bit his lower lip in an effort to contain his overzealous smile as Derek walked back down the hall toward the bullpen.

Exhaling, Spencer twisted the knob of Garcia’s door, swinging it back open as he rushed inside.

“Garcia, you’re never gonna bel–”

“Already heard, kitten,” she grinned as she turned in her chair, tapping the tiny piece of technology in her ear, “They’re everywhere, and I’m their queen.”

I was tagged by @aliceaviatrix

Name: Andrew

Nicknames: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Height: “5'8” 

Hogwarts house: Gryffindor

SSB main: Link

Fictional character I’d date: I’ve never thought about that before. Elektra, i guess.  

Favourite bands: My main are Brain Fallon and The Gaslight Anthem and bunch of others lol

How many blogs are you following: 500

Aesthetic: New car smell, Forest in the fall, 

Favorite greeting: “Hi, so and so” “Hey, man”

Pets: A dog

Last song listened to: She Said, Sundara karma

Favorite show: GOT, Daredevil, ASoUE, Stranger Things, Band of Brothers, and Legion. And bunch other ones i just can’t think of right now.     

Hobbies: Playing video games, Driving around, Going to sporting events, daydreaming, reading, and listing to music.

Books I’m reading:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Worst thing I’ve ever tasted: Cauliflower, so fucking bad. 

Favorite place: Sleeping haha

@cup-of-teas @violaceaa (come at me bro lmao haha. You wouldn’t unfollow and block your best friend, would you? lol.), @amongststars @crypto-cuck @frostdottir @jayykesley @shinr1n-y0ku @destineefaye @kalazin @yandere-princessu @crisscrosspizzasauce @elven-flower

anonymous asked:

Sombra (510): Just woke up with a killer headache, I must have drank a lot last night... Widowmaker (1-510): Or maybe you were MESSING AROUND with someone named GENJI last night instead of ME!

ho’ shit genji’s gonna get his ass sniped (okay but now I’m thinking Widow/Sombra/Genji and basically I’m going to go down shipping nearly everything in this fandom haha)

hey np! I love multi-shipping, and it sucks when there aren’t enough things for your rarepair (I’ve been p much a one man creator for a rarepair so I know the feel)

Imagine Sam and Dean interviewing you, unaware you’re on the same case...

“So did you see anything unusual?” The taller of the two men said.

“Unusual as in…?” You trailed off suspiciously.  The last thing you needed was a pair of local cop wannabe getting themselves killed by a ghost or demon or whatever it was in town, it was easier to delay them for a moment.

“Any strange sounds? Smells? People acting out of character?”

Well, that was unusual for a cop…

“Who did you say your names were again?”

The short haired man gave his partner a nudge and they fumbled in their pockets for ID, “Agents Gabriel and Collins, now how-?” You snatched the ID out of the smaller man’s hand and held it up to the light. “Hey, ma’am! What are you-?”

“Friend of Frank Devereaux, are we?” You said with a smirk, recognising Frank’s handiwork with fake IDs. He’d done a fair few of yours in the past and you knew the finish he put on them, professional, sure, but if you knew what you were looking for, not hard to spot. The two ‘agents’ exchanged a nervous look, but they covered it well. You handed the man back his ID and spoke again in a low voice, “So what’s your real names then boys?”

“Excuse me?” The taller man scoffed, “there’s a mistake. We’re-”

“Don’t make a scene,” the two men exchanged a look and tucked their IDs away quietly, “so, what are you hunting?”

he would come back to his apartment dorm, exhausted from a full day of class and tutorials, only to be greeted by one of his roommates. “oh hey, man! someone came by – the person you introduced us to last week? they waited for you to come back, but that was about two hours ago.”

he nodded, yawning into his fist as he fought off his shoes. “anything said at all when they left?”

“uh,” his roommate blinked and pointed behind himself, down towards the hallway where the bedrooms were located. “they haven’t left yet, actually.”

that set off some alarms in his head. quickly throwing a thanks over his shoulder, he barrelled down to his room and opened the door, your name halting on his lips when he found you passed out asleep on his bed instead. legs all tangled up and poking under the sheets, face nuzzled into his pillow – it was at least an endearing sight to come back home to.

he couldn’t stop the smile that appeared, moving slowly to place his bag down. getting out his phone, he sat down on the ground beside his bed and tapped on snapchat. turning to the front-facing camera, he aimed for a silly shot of his face beside your peaceful looking one. after captioning it “look who i found 😴😴” and sharing it on his story, he lowered his phone a bit to look at you properly.

raising his hand and brushing strands away from your face, he smiled again and shook his head as he got a cute idea that would at least neutralize the silly snap from before. positioning his phone camera again, he made sure to capture the shot of him leaning in and kissing your forehead.

“best thing to come back too tho ❤️”

6

I was in Atlanta last week shooting a film, and I went in to a convenience store just to get a pack of gum and some water. There’s a guy there, he’s got his name tag, it says ‘Paul’. And I was just buying what I was buying and he says to me ‘Hey man, I’ll be watching March 18th’ and I said ‘Cool, Paul. I hope you like it’. And he goes ‘Yeah, I hope so too’. And he just like, gives me this death stare. And I’m like ‘Alright Paul’…” 

Albus Severus Potter's life as a slytherin.

He probably doesn’t like it at first but accepts it. But as the weeks pass he begins to understand why he belongs there.
“You know, Slytherin isn’t really that bad. Green’s my favorite color anyway-WAIT A MINUTE.”
“You really think you can beat me at a race Finnigan? Bring it on! I’ll kick your butt, your brother’s butt, then eat your brooms for breakfast.”

One of his best friends turns out to be a certain blond haired boy named Scorpius that always asks about his cousin.
“This is the LAST TIME I deliver a note for you, you need to man up and talk to Rose.”
“Hey Scorpius, let’s go talk to those Hufflepuff girls. No? THEN ASK MY COUSIN OUT YOU PANSY.”

Albus’s first break back home is a hard one. All of his cousins wear their red scarves for family photos, then there’s poor green scarved Albus.
“Do I have to wear the scarf?”
“Albus Severus Potter, you were named after-”
“DAD PLEASE.”

As his hormones rage more with age he is more and more pissed off about how Slytherin he is. All of his family are Gryffindors and he just doesn’t understand.
“HEY GRYFFINDOR, LET ME GUESS. YOUR PATRONUS IS A LION ISNT IT. ISNT IT?! WELL GUESS WHAT? I THE SLYTHERIN SON OF THE FAMOUS AND GLORIOUS GRYFFINDOR FAMILIES; THE WEASLEYS AND THE POTTERS, HAVE A FUCKING SNAKE AS A PATRONUS. IT HAD TO BE A FUCKING SNAKE DIDNT IT.”
“Chill out Albus, you’re causing a scene.’
“SHUT UP SCORPION BOY. YOUR PATRONUS IS A HAWK. OH BTW YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAS A HAWK PATRONUS? THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, MY ~GRYFFINDOR~ COUSIN, ROSE.”

The day Albus figures out he can speak to snakes, he almost screams.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I AM SPEAKING TO A SNAKE?”
“Well yeah. But what did you expect? You’re the purest slytherin I’ve ever seen.”
“I HAVE LIKE 3 GENERATION GRYFFINDOR BLOOD PUMPING THROUGH MY VEINS. HOW CAN I BE A PURE SLYTHERIN?”
“Well, idk. Your little sister talks to me and she’s not a Slytherin. Are you sure you don’t have any Slytherin in you?”

Albus later sends a letter to his family in worry only to find out he was the only child who never knew his mother was possessed by Voldemort, and his father spoke with snakes as well.

Albus Severus Potter was the purest Slytherin to ever live.

things i imagine/hear got7 say:

Mark: “baby have me” “hi im got7’s mark” “i want ice tea”

Jaebeom: “wassup babe” “leader jb-ibnida”

Jackson: “make some noooooise” “thank you jyp thank you igot7” “korean is hard”

Jinyoung: “are u ready cause im ready” “who said JR” “aishhh”

Youngjae: “dis is the suddenr attack” “hey yo c'mon” “dis is youngjae class” “english time lets go” “heeeeey maaaan eodiga man” “ITS NOT HARD” “you last” “you want americano” “hey im out”

BamBam: “yooo whats ma name” *disses hyungs* “oooooooohhhhhhhhh” “aniyo aniyo”

Yoogyeom: “yo yo yo it’s ya boy gyeom brooown aka brownyyy” in reality Yugyeom actually just says “annyeonghaseyo, got7 maknae yugyeom-ibnida” “jimsimeuro”