his kids are going to be like

My 7th grade spanish teacher was a guy from Brazil, Portugese being his first language, Spanish second, and English (not very fluent) third. He’d just randomly pull up pictures of trucks or like the Ford website on the projector and ask what car he’d look best in when he moved to Florida. He always got me and my friend’s name (which comes after mine alphabetically) mixed up, and i served a couple lunch detentions for her. There were all sorts of rumors that he had porn on his computer and stuff. Then one day, during lunch, which split up the first and second half of 5th pd, he just disappeared. A kid says they saw him as he was leaving and asked where he was going and he just said “Brazil.” No one knows where he went

i just remembered while in disneyland once i happened to have my 3DS with me so i’d play a little pokemon inbetween rides while waiting in line and the amount of little kids i heard whispering and “oooo"ing about it was so cute, like they’d pass me, a grown ass woman, and try to take a peek at my 3DS screen and whisper “she’s playing pokemon sun! look!” to their friend or sibling and i heard a little boy go “can i go up to her and ask to see her pokemon?” all excitedly to his mom and idk man kids can be cute, even the security guy at the bag scanning went “is that the new one??? how is it”

anonymous asked:

Hi! Hi! Hi! I recently read the house building fic you found, and I need more. Do you know of any other "Derek re/builds a house" fics that are all warm and fuzzy? You the best :)

Hey :)

Yes! These ones are really great. 

Spark, Smolder, Catch by  qthelights | 18.3K

When Stiles starts pulling down Derek’s burnt-out house, Derek finds himself letting him. He doesn’t know why.

Wherein Stiles and Derek are both broken and doing more damage might just be what they both need to move on.

I Just Wanna Be With You Every Day by  Brego_Mellon_Nin | 33.9K

When his best friend’s son barrels into the kitchen only dressed in a pair of skintight jeans, lean but defined torso on display, Derek knows he’s truly and utterly fucked. Not only is the kid barely eighteen, but he also happens to be the Sheriff’s only son.

Derek makes a vow to himself that he will not seek Stiles out and he’ll get this thing under control.

untitled | tumblr ficlet

The One Where Derek Is Courting And Stiles Fears The Zombie/Werewolf Apocalypse by  im_not_a_lizard | 8.3K

Derek is courting Stiles in the way that all male animals go about impressing their mates. Giving them practical (if weird, like, Derek gives Stiles 10kg of steak) gifts, making a nice home (he starts renovating the old Hale house), weird shit like that. Stiles is oblivious, and Scott keeps sort of helplessly hinting at what Derek is doing to little effect.

i wait for you like a lonely house by  bleep0bleep | 4.5K

Derek isn’t sure why he buys the house.
He doesn’t need the space, that much is certain. While it’s not as big as the one Derek grew up in, something about the cheerful yellow paint and the wide staircase (with banisters wide enough for children to slide down) draws him in.

Survival Strategies and Interior Design by  alocalband | 4.7K

It takes Derek a lot longer than it should to realize what Stiles is doing.

On Building an IKEA Den for an Alpha Werewolf. | 13.8K

Senior Prom is coming up, and Stiles doesn’t have a date. Additionally, Derek has an unfurnished apartment, and no one to take him to IKEA.

Whisky Kiss by  nightfog | 5.5K

Stiles had a really really bad day and all he wanted to do was to drown his sorrows in whisky and then…

“This seat taken?” An all too familiar voice asked.

Derek fucking Hale.

anything, anything by  drunktuesdays | 5.2K

Stiles wakes up in Derek’s bed in a world where they’re married now, and Derek keeps leaving the room every time he tries to have a conversation about how this happened, since they weren’t even dating.

anonymous asked:

Once in like 4th grade, we were having a special kinda test that lasted for 3 days and the 2nd day this guy threw up all over his test and the next day only 8 people were in class because everyone got sick. Sadly, I was one of the sick kids but it was wild. Even the teacher got sick. (Also, the kid that threw up wasn't aloud to go home right away because he didn't have a fever, he ended up throwing up 2 more times in the bathroom)

oh my god

okay but you know dan loved winnie the pooh so much when he was a little kid partially because he saw piglet and pooh’s friendship and he wanted something just like it and he probably spent a few years as a teenager thinking he never would find it but he did after 18 years and now he has a piglet to his pooh

The only good thing about being a Catholic school girl who was forced to go to Sunday School every week:

*Principal* “He tried to kiss you in the hallway, but he said it was a joke. Him and his friends. He wasn’t serious about it. He was laughing at you. He wasn’t going to do anything.”

*Me* “It didn’t feel like a joke to me. I was scared.” 

*Principal*  “You went after his eyes. You hurt him.”

*Me* “Eh, I’ve watched Charlie’s Angels and most ‘70s TV shows. That’s what you do when dealing with predatory men. Go for the eyes. He tried to put his tongue down my throat.”

*Principal*  “Um…he was just kidding.”

*Me* “My mother helps out at the church  I get good grades and attend weekly mass. I’m a nice girl. He’s a fucking moron. Didn’t he shoplift once? Who do you think people will believe? Talk to my drama teacher. I can cry on cue.”

The matter was quietly dropped after that. But I was not proud of myself. 

anonymous asked:

So I was in this rehab facility and there was this kid that was pretty cute and I had to go every day all day so everytime he'd pretend to punch me id be like "I feel like you're gonna hurt me one day" and he goes "oh trust me I will" and would wink. I sticker bombed him once and he put the word sex on his arm in stickers and I was like I like that and winked and walked out and long story short we're dating and his dick is bomb 😂❤️

anonymous asked:

How do you feel about Otayuri being given much more of a leg to stand on with the Welcome to the Madness short? I know how you feel about the pairing, but how do you feel about it heading toward canon?

I mean, no.

15 year old just meets someone who has seen him as a goal for the past few years. Doesn’t know or remember him but is willing to try a friendship for once.

Otabek might admire Yurio but he’s remembered Yurio over years and years and probably idolized him somewhat. Wants to be friends with the kid.

Yurio literally saw Victor and Yuuri doing something extra and because he likes attention and doesn’t like being beaten, he wanted to be even more EXTRA. How much more can you get after doing a same sex ice dance? Strip free of your clothes with the help of a friend.

We already knew that Yurio’s EX program was going to be wild because it’s his chance to do what he wants for once. But the comic literally shows him wanting to outdo Victuuri in someway.

It’s really no ‘proof’ in my eyes.

People are always going, ‘well Victor fell in love within hours’, and perhaps he did, but it took him 4 months to see Yuuri again. 

{Personally I think Victor was crushing on Yuuri because I don’t believe in love at first sight. That’s a bunch of BS. I think he was amazed by how Yuuri was acting and his temperament, and found himself interested because Yuuri is fun. Not that he did anything about that interest for months.}

It wasn’t suddenly 3 days later where the two are pushed into a relationship by viewers simply because they shook hands and said they’re friends now. And not even then were they something. It took 8 months after meeting again for anything truly romantic to really happen between them, with in depth discussions about love and feelings to get to where they are.

I don’t like pushing an emotionally stunted kid into sexual or romantic relationships when he hasn’t even had a friend before. This kid can’t even handle basic kindness very well and people think that he’s just a natural at relationships? Oh he who never had a friend before and couldn’t understand why Yuuko was so nice to him? Why the Katsukis were so kind?

Also, again, I view him as Aro and Ace, so it bothers me even further for him to be pushed into sexual situations by fans whom I’ve had to block extensively. Like, can’t he have a friend for a bit before he’s forced into a relationship that would have Otabek doing community service and paying massive fines?

People mistake Age of Consent. Because 16 year olds in Russia can consent to sex, they think it means that it’s legal for anyone to have sex with a 16 year old. That is not the case in fact. Otabek is 18+ and that makes him no longer a minor. People over 18 getting caught in sexual acts with minors, even if the minor can consent by law, can be imprisoned, fined, forced into community service, or placed on probation. Laws get even murkier if it’s a resident of another country.

Basically, I don’t ship it for various reasons. I don’t see anything as a reason to ship it either. Hell, I didn’t even start shipping Victuuri until episode 7 when Yuuri burst into tears and explained his feelings. It was Victor’s worry and attempts to help that made me ship it, and when they kissed, then I was on with it.

I wasn’t suddenly going ‘omg they’re perfect for each other!’ when Victor showed up in Hasetsu. I needed proof that they would even make a good couple to begin with.

So anyway, I honestly don’t see anything relatively ship worthy in the recent releases. Especially since everyone is going on about how ‘gay’ it obviously is and I’m over here like, I did stuff worse than that all the time with my friend Jai and we aren’t into each other. 

Also, if I start getting whining Otayuri lovers who complain about my opinions, y’all will be told to fuck off and will probably be blocked. I didn’t order anyone on how to ship their shit, I’m explaining why the hell I don’t ship it and why I don’t see it as something to be shipped anyway. If you can’t handle opinions, why bother with the internet at all?

Pizza Party - Jamie Benn

Originally posted by leondraiisaitl

Hiiiiiiiii!!!!!! Okay sooooo the pens are going into another game 7, the second of their Stanley Cups Playoffs, and literally MY HEART CANNOT HANDLE THIS!!!!!!!!! On another note, I am half way done with exams, yeahhhhh!!!!! I hope you guys like this one, it was certainly dun to write!!!!! Oh also, I’m going on vacation this weekend so I will try to get as many requests out before then, but if I don’t they rest will come out next week, sorry for the delays!!!

Word Count: 1,441

Warnings: none

Anon Request: Can you do a Jamie benn imagine where you guys are married and have 3 kids and he comes home and sees you and his children dancing to music and making pizza in the kitchen and he forgets about the stress he has over hockey and after dinner he brings his kids to sleep and tells his wife how much he appreciates and loves his family.

The Stars had lost again tonight, to the Ducks no less, and you knew Jamie would be mad when he got home.

Keep reading

“Markiplier is bad because he defended pewdiepie!1!1!!”

Oh no the man who’s had to deal with cancer, friends suicides, family deaths, severe depression, and more shit than these kids on tumblr claim to have gone through defended a friend once.

The man who does everything in his power to help others and feels like he doesn’t deserve anything he’s gotten defended pewdiepie.

If you think that ONE act is enough to villainify Markpiler than you truly are just plain stupid.

“But pewdipie said-” I don’t care what he said, what he said wasn’t funny but he wasn’t serious either. Markiplier didn’t find it funny or agree with it he just felt like people needed to have more respect when dealing with these situations than going out of their way to harass and bully others. Mark defended his friend because his friend was recieving death threats and shit.

Mark already had to deal with his best friend commit suicide you think he’s really just gonna watch people fucking Bully and threaten others? He didn’t once justify what Pewdiepie said all he fucking did was say that harassing and showing such a low level of disrespect isn’t okay and wont help anything.

He’s right too. You think someone is going to change their views because you threatened to slice their throat open? Or because you screamed about how they’re scum from online?

No. No one fucking changes their opinion that way.

“It’s not about that we want them to be afraid-” Then you’re no fucking better than they are. You think forcing people to live in fucking fear is going to HELP ANYTHING? No, it leads to shit like the Nazi’s. All you idiots are doing is contributing to a rise of neo nazi idiots. None of their views are changing their views are just being reinforced.

“Oh so you expect us to be kind-” No I fucking don’t and don’t pull strawmen out of your ass. You KNOW what I’m saying isn’t be nice to people you just don’t want to fucking hear anything else because you idiots only think in black and white.

Argue, cuss, do all you like to prove people wrong but don’t fucking threaten them or intend to make people live in fucking fear. You idiots literally claimn to be against opression while using oppressive tactics to further your own stupid ideals. You have to change peoples opinions if you want the world to get better not force them into fear and let their ideals fester.

Hitler literally was able to get in power because he used that fear that the Germans felt against them. He was the “one brave man to stand up” and enforced ideals into a bunch of scared peoples minds. That’s going to happen again and again and again if all you do is force people with differing opinions to live in fear.

“But they’ll kill-” No they fucking wont. You just want to use that as a fucking excuse. You think that arguing with someone is gonna make them just up and shoot you in front of people? Or that they’re gonna somehow kill you from the other side of a computer screen?

If you’re so fucking scared to speak up then what change are you fighting for? History changes because people get over that fucking fear and make a change. Some people die for that change sure but at least they made a change.

I went off on a whole tangent here when the original purpose was just hating markiplier for saying “not even having the basic human level of respect isn’t good and wont make a change” than you really are stupid and the exact kind of people Mark doesn’t even care about. Not even Mr. Rogers would want you as a neighbor.

Sticks And Stones

Orphan Brigade [Baby Years]: The story of how an infamous crime lord became the guardian of three children and a teenager.

Gavin and Michael dealt with pain in very different ways. 

Gavin very rarely got sick or seriously hurt. But when he did, it was the end of the world. His right wrist was bound in a thick cast, held close to his chest by a sling. Tears filled his eyes as soon at the slightest discomfort. It felt like it would never heal. 

Michael had shattered his elbow. The cast took up his whole arm and was similarly held in place by a sling. Michael didn’t care at all about the cast. He just wanted to go out and play like normal. He wasn’t going to let a stupid little thing like a broken arm get in his way.

“You know, not many kids over the age of one get this fracture.” Ryan stated as he adjusted Michael’s sling, making it more comfortable around his neck.

“Why’s that?” Michael asked curiously.

“Because most kids over that age are smart enough to put their hands out when they fall. You know? So they don’t smash their elbow into the ground.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How did gabbador's first kiss go

Okay so, first of all: in the “alternate canon” we’ve created, Francesco is the popular extrovert kid who loves clubbing (he’s a PR, not sure if I can translate that) and he invited Salvo at the school party (Salvo was still a misanthrope at that point so he was like “yikes humans”), and Salvador said no at first.

Then they grew closer and became friends, and (this part is like a vague hc) Ciccio tries to invite him to the party again, promising he’d give him half of his sandwich every day for the rest of the year if he came. At this point Salvo was like “Yeah, I’m totally coming just because you wanna, no second purpose or anything” while inside his head he was like “OMG DID HE JUST ASK ME OUT IM SCREAMING IM SO GAY *curses in Portuguese*”, so he ends up going to the party.

Then at the party Salvador actually is having fun, he’s had some drinks (”NATHAN CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS” “NO WAY BRO, WE NEED TO DOCUMENT THIS”) and his brain-to-mouth filter is… how you say? andato a farsi fottere. So before you even know he’s rambling to Demy about how much he loves Francesco while she’s gesturing her gf Diana (the only sober one gdghghjvh) to bRING HIM THE FUCK HERE DEE NOW IS THE FUCKING MOMENT

And then the two finally arrive and Demy and Diana disappear to make out God knows where, and Francesco’s like “So, are you enjoying the party?” smirking and Salvador dies for the 75587698 time since the beginning of the story, and ofc he can’t let him know he actually is liking it a lot so he’s like “Yeah, kinda… Though I gotta say, it’s a lot better now that you’re here” and Francesco melts because this dork ghjgsdhjfk 

And they’re making small talk and then Ciccio’s like “So, do you like anyone in our school? ;) ;) ;)” and Salvo just blurts out “I’m into guys” (because did I mention his brain-to-mouth filter gone to hell) and Francesco’s like “Cool, me too” and Salvo’s confused because “wait did you just come out to me” “Dude, I’ve been acting queer around you for like the whole year, I thought you’d gotten the hint by now” “Oh” *long ass flashback compilation of Ciccio acting queer around Salvo, starting from the infamous kiss on the cheek* “Yeah, I should’ve noticed that”

And then Francesco’s like “So, well… do you like any guys? ;) ;) ;)” and Salvo’s like *facepalm* because he can’t tell him he likes him but also he sooooo wants to and plus he’s gay (?) so there’s a tiny possibility that he likes him back???? And everything is so confusing this poor guy’s lost someone help him pls

and he says “yeah, there’s this guy and he’s really smart and deep but also really funny and pretty and he sings so well and he’s great really” and Francesco’s like “:/” because he also likes him and he doesn’t want him to get Hurt By The Straights TM (but let’s be real is anyone even straight in that school)

but then he says “He seems cool!” because he wants to be Supportive and Salvador’s like “I bet he does, it’s you” and then goes on to die again and bury his face in his hands because wtf was that Salvo you didn’t really just say that to your crush did you and then he looks up and Francesco’s beaming (Manel, Nathan and Slavko high five in the background) and then ???? they’re kissing ???? and Salvo’s lowkey freaking out but he kisses him back and Demy&Diana come back from their alcove and probably cry with the Bro Squad because “Holy shit finally!” and that’s basically how I think their first kiss went lmao

This is so long tbh I thought it’d be shorter I’m sorry XD

Inspired by @u-r-a-n-i-a 

I mean, when a man reaches…a certain age,” he tried again, “he knows the world is never going to be perfect. He’s got used to it being a bit, a bit…” “Manky?” Nobby suggested. Tucked behind his ear, in the place usually reserved for his cigarette, was another wilting lilac flower. “Exactly,” said Colon. “Like, it’s never going to be perfect, so you just do the best you can, right? But when there’s a kid on the way, well, suddenly a man sees it different. He thinks: my kid’s going to have to grow up in this mess. Time to clean it up. Time to make it a Better World. He gets a bit…keen. Full of ginger.
—  Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

can we talk about how Tony tries to “casually” get Happy to add peter to the list when this is everything BUT casual?? I mean he’s been that kid that doesn’t go to parties. He’s inviting Peter, excitable bubbly Peter, to the BIGGEST party there is where there are gonna be a-listers all over the place, so he can have fun.  LIKE IT’S THE SAME AS THE HUG. HE’S SO EMOTIONALLY STUNTED AND YET HE’S STILL SUCH A DAD TRYING HIS BEST FOR HIS SON THIS MOVIE WILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL ME

ladylynse  asked:

Dealer's choice on the fic prompts: either platonic 3 with Adrien/Chat Noir and Nathalie or shipping (one sided or mutual) 10 with Marinette/Ladybug and Nathanael. (Basically write something with a main character and a side character, for variety, and take as much time as you like.)

Aw yisssss…  *cracks knuckles, sits back*  XDDDD

“Please, you aren’t safe here!”

Nathalie ignored the call of her charge, her eyes trained intensely upon the men in front of them.  She had already alerted Alan of their position, so they were safer than Adrien seemed to think.

“The kid’s right, lady.  Am-scray,” said the cocky criminal, waving his arm around uselessly.  The only point to take careful consideration of was that finger on the trigger.  If he pulled that trigger, everything could go downhill very quickly.  “I don’t need you alive.”

“Nathalie,” whispered Adrien from behind.  “I’ll be okay, but–”

“If you finish that sentence, I will personally see to it that the chief at home doesn’t sneak you any more camembert for a month.”

As expected, her charge fell silence at her threat.  She knew not why he had gathered a sudden interest in the fromage, but so long as it didn’t interfere with his other activities, he could eat it.  The fact that it gave her a little bit of bargaining power with him didn’t hurt matters either.

“I’m gettin’ bored here, lady.  Either get in the car or hit the road!”

The criminal had returned to pointing the gun at Nathalie.  The woman struggled to keep Adrien behind her, as she knew he would hastily obey any command to keep her safe.

But it was her job to keep him safe first.

“We will stay right where we are.”

And to that end…

“What are you doing?”

She would do anything.

“Fine, you can rot with the garbage!  Agreste goes with me, though!”

Three things happened in a very rapid succession.

The criminal pulled the trigger.

A bodily thud rang through the alleyway.

Blood hit the pavement.


The woman didn’t even stop to register Adrien’s call, even though she knew he had probably scraped his arm when she had pushed him backwards.  While the fool fumbled with his gun, she pulled her right hook forward and used her building momentum to carry it all the way through into their attacker’s face.  The surprise and sloppy grip caused him to drop the gun, which Nathalie immediately kicked away.  There was no sense in giving him any chance to regain the upper hand.  When his head predictably turned to watch the gun skitter away, Nathalie took the opportunity to slam her remaining hand into the side of his neck, rendering him unconscious.

The man’s form slumped down to the ground, and Nathalie only had a moment to worry if she had perhaps overdone it.


“Nathalie, don’t do that…”

The woman could do nothing as her charge latched onto her and drew her away from their unconscious assailant.  She allowed him to do so, knowing that the entire ordeal must have frightened him quite a lot.  Despite being the son of a quite wealthy and influential man, the boy had not been exposed to many kidnapping attempts. Even ones as sloppy as this one had to be at least a little terrifying.

“What if you’d gotten shot?”

“Impossible,” the woman instantly dismissed.  Adrien drew away to glare–actually glare! Where had this boy learned to glare like that?–at her.  She moved to assuage his fears.  “There was no possible way that man could have shot either of us.”

“You don’t know that,” countered Adrien.  Nathalie raised an eyebrow.  “He could have shot either of us at any time.  You weren’t safe–”

“Adrien,” interrupted Nathalie, halting the boy in his tracks.  He had already worked himself up into an emotional frenzy.


“The gun’s safety was on.  We were never in danger of being shot.”

The boy immediately deflated from his tensed position.  All of a sudden he looked weary, drained.  He dove back in for another hug and Nathalie obliged him.  She gave his back a few (awkwardly) reassuring pats.

And that was how Alan “the Gorilla” found them two minutes later.  Still hugging, with one incapacitated crook on the pavement, and one firing-proof gun too far away for anyone to reach.

But at least they were safe.

Nathalie cares about Adrien and will do anything to keep him safe, fite me.

Svt As Dads // Mingyu //

Originally posted by visual-17

  • Gyu gyu gyuuuuuuuu
  • Okay so like 
  • He had a dog before he had kids 
  • Loves that dog so freakin much
  • Literally took care of this dog like it was his first born child
  • So when a kid came along he was totally ready
  • Or
  • As ready as you can be for a kiddo
  • So obviously this dog didn’t go anywhere
  • And his kid 100% took on his love for dogs
  • So when the kids finally a toddler and walking/crawling around 
  • Automatic best friends with the dog
  • They do everything together
  • Take walks
  • Take naps
  • Eat
  • Literally everything
  • And gyu loves watching them interact together so much
  • Gyu is really fun and all but i feel like when it comes to kids he’d be really mature and actually really good at parenting
  • Like he can cook
  • And he’s really creative
  • So like he could build things for his kiddos
  • Hes like the right amount of fun yet mature and in control that makes well behaved but fun kiddos
  • Also before he had kids he was know as Uncle Gyu by all the other members kids 
  • He’d always take them out for ice cream or something 
  • They love him
  • And his kids get along with everyone as well
  • Work super hard to include everyone too
  • Best, cutest, most talented kids 
  • Beautiful skin just like him omg
  • Okay but imagine his kids as teenagers 
  • Just as clumsy 
  • And just as funny
  • Loved by so many people like 
  • Okay so i feel like he would have a daughter
  • That would be adorable gyu with a daughter is my aesthetic 
  • Anyways back to the daughter 
  • Everyone would be all over her
  • Tbh i feel like she’d be oblivious to the fact people are all over her
  • Either that or she doesn’t really care
  • But gyu would be !!!!!!!!!! 
  • Not my precious daughter !!1!!!!1!1 
  • But its not like he poses a threat 
  • He looks like a puppy so like
  • But idk 
  • I feel like if he really got angry and serious 
  • It could be like a quiet scary 
  • Maybe a respectful scary where like its not like pee your pants scary but you would still be shook
  • So thats gyu when someone tries to go after his daughter 
  • I need to stop soon because gyu with kids is literally the best thing 
  • He would just be so cute with his kids 
  • Or any kids in general 
  • So freakin cute my soul
  • Maybe ill do a part 2 for gyu because wow

// Scoups // Jeonghan // Joshua // Jun // Hoshi // Wonwoo // Woozi // DK // Mingyu // The8 // Seungkwan // Vernon // Dino //

anonymous asked:

Ok,so who's going to be the asshole relative (Besides Zeus)who pretty much treats Hades like the kid who never leaves their room and makes fun of his lack of tan?

lmao i feel like demeter might do that or maybe poseidon as a joke