okay so like i don't know if you do stuff like this but could you do a keith fic based on the song Fools by Troye Sivan? if not, then maybe just some keith angst? thanks, love!! xx
sadly my music app wasn’t working so I couldnt listen to Fools. and bcos I am Broke™ I don’t have premium on Spotify and I’m :( bcos I’ve heard fools is a EXCELLENT song so I just did a song from my ITunes instead! I hope you like it!
The song is— King by Lauren Aguilina
The day Shiro had gone, the day their hearts were swallowed and landed heavily in their stomachs, the day they died a little. The day Keith lost another part of himself; again. Ever since then, Keith would lock up inside himself. Placing brick after brick upon each other that every time you broke through a layer, two more would appear.
Every night, he’d lie in bed restless; putting himself down with every thought he created until he became the manifestation of his own migraine. His whole body ached painfully with despair, he was now numb. He was alone, and he hated the fact that he wanted to be comforted, to be held. But so what? He was alone, he was forced into independence by himself and he didn’t want anybody to help him.
“Are you blind?!” You shouted, your movements frantic as you became more and more angered at Keith. He truly was blind, though he’d never admit to it. He didn’t want to, not now and not ever. He wanted to be left alone, to be left to his own monstrous thoughts clawing at his skull. Pleading in desperation as they cried, weeped and screamed to be let free. To take control.
“You need to make up your mind! One second you seem just a tiny bit optimistic and then you go and throw away all hope we’ve got of surviving! You’re going to kill us one of these days, Keith! I know that’s harsh but it’s the only way for me to get it through your head!” Your voice grew more and more irritating to him, his eardrums throbbed and triggered a scoff within him. He wanted to shout at you, but he was broken, he didn’t have the strength to do anything but sleep. He felt useless in that moment because everything you said was right. He knew you did it out of care, because perhaps he had gone too far. He didn’t seem to realize how important so many things were. He was blessed, yet he sat alone in suffocating darkness naming every flaw he had; beating and prodding at himself until he fixed it just enough for someone to be pleased. Even for just a minute.
“Keith. You need to listen to me.” Once again, nights after your outburst, you were back. This time, another wall of his was placed between the two of you as he kept himself in his room. He was curled in a ball on his bed, weeping with sadness as he himself had finally, truly, mentally broke.
“I love you.” Keith felt as if he had stopped breathing for a second. He knew you cared, but to care so much to tell him you loved him? You weren’t exactly one to just say it. You were one to choose the right time, and perhaps this was it. Had he really done so much to hurt you, that you forced yourself to say it?
“I love you so much Keith. And you need to realize that you’re so much better than you think. Shiro would tell you the same exact thing, you and I both know that. You’re in control, Keith. You need to clear your head, please. It’s scary to see you like this. I know this is mean but you don’t gain anything from moping around and putting yourself into your own pockets.” You sounded like you were crying, but he couldn’t tell as his heart pounded roughly in his chest and ears. He stood, basically crawling to the door himself.
“You’re self doubt is killing you. Keith. It really is.” He stared with wide purple eyes at the alien door in front of him as he finally let it open. It was quite funny really. Your tears falling down your cheeks in sync with his, your faces red and your minds aching with mental distraught. And then there he was, eyes puffy and his mouth parted slightly as he suddenly began to sob, eyes squeezed shut as a migraine pulsed through him.
“It’s okay. We’ll get him back soon.” Your arms wrapped around him, and finally for once he felt free. The monsters that once encased themselves around him becoming dust as you broke through them with ease. He was once again curled up, fists on the ground as he strained. Choking on his sobs. The same sobs he made the night before. But this time, they weren’t as heavy on him. These were sobs of sadness, yes. But they were also sobs of relief and of freedom.
You radiated warmth upon his cold exterior. He felt safe. He felt…comforted. Finally. Maybe, even without Shiro, everything would be okay. And he didn’t mind that one bit.