his face is so funny but creepy

Imagine: Dean Rescuing You From a Spider

Originally posted by justjensenanddean

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,000

Warning: big ass spider in your bed (creepy, I know), spider bites

A/N: you’ll never guess what happened to me… anyway, cute little drabble/imagine for you guys. Hope you like it. 

Credit to @deanssweetheart23 who beta’d this and everything else I do… thanks twin <3

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anonymous asked:

LEELA PLS ANALYZE THE NEW DAPCRAFTS VID I CANT STOP SCREAMING

it was,,,,,, so fucking good. i just need to rant for a bit about so many aspects of this video because like not only was it genuinely so funny and original and creative, it was just SO WELL MADE. there were so many small details about it that i couldn’t even believe.  they put so much actual effort into it and they’re also both so naturally funny when it comes to this kind of humor. ahhhh there were so many good things to talk about that i hardly know where to begin or like how to even organize my thoughts so just like,,, be ready bc this is about to be the most incoherent ramble 

first of all. dnp work so well together. i mean. we know this, we see it all the time. but there’s a lot of humor in the crafts videos that is just completely improvised within the larger pre-planned structure/concept. and they bounce off each other SO well in this setting (maybe even better than they do in many of their normal collabs, at least from a comedic standpoint.) i think a lot of this has to do w the fact that the satirical cheeriness of the “characters” that they play, that is over-emphasized to the point of being creepy, just lends itself really well to so many amazing one-liners. but also they just have such good chemistry that is so readily apparent in this context,,, it makes me emotional. they consistently set each other up for jokes, if one person improvises a certain action or behavior the other goes along with it or reacts to it immediately and that’s a mark of rly well-practiced entertainers but also two people who know each other really well and i love watching it play out.

i also do have to acknowledge that they are both fundamentally quite talented. all three of the craft videos are examples of really genuinely witty humor and they showcase that side of dnp so well. both of them also have such a good sense of comedic timing and even an intuition for physical comedy and they’re also rly creative with how they edit these videos and the union of all of those elements is what makes these videos so good in my opinion. while i believe dan’s explanation that the first crafts video was filmed quite spontaneously without much of a plan (and that’s why it’s super short and not as funny as the latter two imo), i do think they put a lot of thought and effort into this one which is quite clear through many of the details they worked into the video both during the filming itself and then afterwards in the editing. first of all the overall concept of them being taken by satan as a culmination of the extremely subtle creepy undertones from the first one is just so smart bc no one would expect them to take it that far and the total hyperbolic unlikeliness of it is what makes it so damn funny. i think most ppl were expecting when dan said he’s keeping his stamp a secret that it would just be some sort of satanic symbol like what happened in the glitter faces vid but like,,, no one thought it’d escalate to where it did. it was so unexpected and over the top but somehow still not overdone or so forced as to dilute the comedy. it synthesized humor with genuinely unsettling creepiness and that is such a difficult balance to achieve. 

you can tell they put a lot of thought into it on so many levels. for instance they worked in all these rly subtle allusions to satan himself before the weird ritual scene happens, like dan saying “this one’s long with a big head like him” (ty for describing satans cock to us dan jfc) and phil saying “i’ve selected as many knives as friends i have, which is two.” then even during the ritual scene they work in things like the cow noise since a common satanic symbol is a horned deity (baphomet lol). and in their new channel description they use the case file name 19-1-20-1-14 which decodes to the word “satan” if you use a basic letter-number cipher (in which each number stands for the letter that is that position in the alphabet. ’s’ is the 19th letter, ‘a’ is the first, and so on.) and there are so many other little editing quirks that give this video that unsettling undertone, as well as editing quirks that add to the comedy of it and it’s all just so well done. for example the voice editing on certain words like “sharp” and “go away.” the audio overlays of heavy breathing at various points and random cuts to black screens. the use of creepy music at strategic places throughout. at 4:36 they recorded themselves saying protip backwards just to reverse it and they even spell out the “protip” text backwards, seemingly both as a way to shit on the whole ‘protip’ trope from the last vid and also to make fun of the way that satanists/conspiracy theorists think there are hidden messages in popular songs and shit that u can only hear if u play the audio backwards. ugh i hate them and their many layers of references. phil also references this again during the ritual part, when dan lights the match (he just goes “portip” “portip” as though he’s trying to say it backwards lol.) and then they fuck around w the word protip throughout the video almost like they’re making fun of it. there’s also definitely a subtle pitch manipulation of their voices as the video progresses. by the end they sound like they’ve sucked on a little bit of helium but it happens gradually enough that you’re just a little bit put off and you can’t really place why. then there’s the little comedic touches like the siren sound when “carefully” flashes across the screen. the fact that the legal disclaimer for adult supervision is cut off at the sides. the zoom in on the fleck of green paint that lands on dan when phil’s pouring it into the plate. ugh like damn i just want to make the point that they clearly put work into this and on face value it seems like a shoddy home video w a weird satanic ending but there’s a reason this works so well and feels so creepy and simultaneously laugh out loud funny and it’s bc they’re genuinely talented and we don’t always get to see that creative talent at work in their standard formulas for videos on their regular channels so i’m just so grateful that they made something like this where it seems like they allow themselves to exercise more of that creative energy. it begs a lot of questions about why they don’t do shit like this more,,,  and i think there are a number of reasons they feel safe and happy making what they generally make now but i’m jst so happy that at least in these videos they’ve branched out and done something so creative and good.

on that note. i just need to ramble about phil. i don’t think anyone can dispute that phil really carries these videos and partly that’s because he’s been in the role of the “teacher” in all three videos so he inevitably comes across as more dominant and sets the tone for the humor, but also like,,, he just works so well in this style and comes up with such spontaneous and WITTY little remarks that inevitably become the standout lines from each vid (in this one, for example, “potato is in my top ten favorite fruit,” “sometimes it’s nice to look up at the stars and remember that they’re all already dead,” “if you make a mistake while cutting just think about it for the rest of the day,” etc. and one of my fav from the past, “if you’re left handed ask a friend” (d: why am i left handed) “everybody makes mistakes!”) he also seems to improvise a lot of the physical comedy in the videos (in this one, the way he just stared at the paint as he squeezed it out for way too long, the way he threw around the cutting boards and plates, the way he did the chopping; and in past ones, slamming his hands on the paper and on dan’s hands when mixing the glitters, clacking the scissors super loudly in the first one, etc.) i just love these videos so much bc they’re some of the only ones that we have these days where phil is really doing most of the comedic legwork and dan definitely helps and bounces off of him but mostly lets phil take charge and i live for it. and while there’s obvi no way to tell who rly did the editing for the video (and i’m sure it was a mix of both of them) there’s no denying that the editing style and general creepiness (especially of the ritual sacrifice scene lol) bear a lot of similarities to the feeling/vibe/editing quirks in a lot of phil’s old school videos (i’m thinking like tape 6 and the basket which, if any of you reading these have not watched, please just open a tab right now and do that before you finish reading this lol.) the choppy way the different clips are spliced together in the whole ritual scene (where one second dan is stamping phil, then lighting a match and chanting, then phil’s chanting, then he’s slumped over and then there are two videos overlaid on top of each other when dan is actually stamping phil’s back and then the sudden cut to black) it’s all so reminiscent of those older videos and it does make me feel like phil had a larger creative hand in thinking about how this video should be put together and that just makes me so happy to think about. i’ve always wondered what phil does w his self-professed obsession with horror and his interest in violence and psychological thrillers and whatnot, as well as his former academic/critical study of filmmaking. it makes sense that he doesn’t feel comfortable exploring those interests by making things himself in this genre in a real way and especially not on youtube because his self-described objective through this platform is to provide his audience with light and uplifting entertainment. more pragmatically, he’s trying to make a living from this job and hold somewhat broad-based appeal through the videos he makes and it makes sense that lighter content that doesn’t require too much intellectual rigor would fare better and hold more consistent audience engagement. and more personally, making things on the level of tape 6, even years later w more familiarity with editing and whatnot and perhaps more skill in writing scripts/characters/plots, still would involve a certain degree of personal emotional vulnerability that the current amazingphil format doesn’t demand. in short, venturing into these territories creatively would be a risk on a lot of levels. it would invite more formal critique of his work. it would invite more people trying to read into who he is and his psyche (which are things that i feel like he’s actually terrified of and that’s part of why he’s built such a protective barrier against it). it would be a risk and it makes sense that he doesn’t want to take it, at least not right now. but it’s just lovely to see that he still has the capacity to make things in the vein of those older videos and to make them WITH DAN and mix them with comedy which i need to reiterate is such a hARD THING TO DO!!!! and  idk it just rly makes me so happy to watch and to think about. 

i love phil so much, and none of this is meant to dilute dan’s role since i’m sure he did inform some of the decisions here, but i just think that dan as phil’s biggest fan (since 2007 y’all) would feel many of these same things about phil’s older content and support phil’s desire to engage that darker creative energy/talent he has hiding under all of those layers of syrupy happiness and amiability. i love that this is sort of an update to that vintage dark!phil content bc it’s the same dark undertones, same editing quirks, etc. but now it’s mixed with rly cheeky humor and maybe that’s dan’s influence or maybe it’s still phil, but a phil that has shared his life w someone w this particular irreverent and sarcastic sense of humor for so many years and this video shows the confluence of those two things in such a lovely and original way and just,,,, ugh. this video was so much and i loved it SO much. truly so, so good i was not prepared to feel so many deep-seated Emotions over some god damn satanic propaganda i need help. 

(danandphilcrafts - potato prints)

Things retail workers really want to tell you, but can't:

1. It is not free. It is never free. Unless there is a sign on it that specifically says “FREE” it is not free

2. We hate capitalism but it also pays our bills so we have to love it

3. You being a dick to me for no reason is not going to make your experience any better. Or me any nicer.

4. “Service with a smile” is really taking a toll on my facial muscles. My resting bitch face wasn’t made for this.

5. Your “I just printed it this morning” jokes when I run your bill for counterfeit isn’t funny. We actually take this shit seriously.

6. I know the store inventory better than you. I can bring it up on my computer screen. So when you tell me to go “check the back” I don’t know what you want me to do other than to wander aimlessly, say hi to my buddies in other departments and tell you what I already know.

7. Don’t wink at us. Don’t mistake good customer service for flirting. It’s creepy. It makes us super uncomfortable. And when you make comments to us while we ring you out, it makes everything more awkward.

8. Why the fuck did you shit on the bathroom floor the toilet was right there

9. If an employee says they are off the clock or on break, do not bother them. Seriously. Don’t.

10. Don’t be a dick to retail workers. No one gets paid enough for that.

I DON’T KNOW MAN I’M JUST REAL INTO TARON EGERTON LIKE LOOK AT THIS HOE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS

I MEAN IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT FREAKING SHAPE HE IS IN

I DO NOT GIVE A CRAP

HE COULD BE IN A FREAKIN SUIT

OR SOME WHATEVER SWEATER

AND MY LOVE DOES NOT DIE IT IS UNHEALTHY AND CREEPY AND STRANGE LIKE

HIS FREAKING SMILE

AND HIS FREAKING FROWN

HIS LAUGH OMG

I WANNA JUMP OFF A BRIDGE

LIKE AND HE’S SO FUNNY AND FUN AND CUTE

BUT HE’S ALSO REALLY HOT

LIKE WHO ARE OYU WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

WHEN HE HAS LONG HAIR

OR WHEN IT’S SUPER SHORT?????

LIKE WHY DO I LOVE YOU LIKE THIS WHY AM I LIKE THIS I AM A GROWN GIRL

IN KINGSMAN

EVEN IN FREAKING EDDIE THE EAGLE

I JUST LOVE HIM AND HIS FACE AND HIS ACCENT AND HIS PERSONALITY LIKE I JUST WANNA DATE HIM NOT EVEN MAKE OUT OR SEX IT UP I LITERALLY JUST WANT TO GO TO DINNER AND A MOVIE WITH THIS HOE

AND HE CAN SING SOMEONE SEND HELP SEND HELP IMMEDIATELY I LOVE HIM I HOPE HE NEVER SEES THIS TRASH

Midnights

pairing: Lin x reader

warnings: cursing

summary: You and Lin keep attending the same New Year’s party but never get to kiss at midnight.

This was inspired by Rainbow Rowell’s Midnights, a short story I read years ago. The idea sort of came to me when I woke up, I spent the whole day thinking about it and I finally wrote it down. This is kind of a mess, but it has fluff because I feel bad about the ending of That Night. Enjoy, pals!

words: 2012

-

December 31, 2013

“Do you think this is chocolate or cinnamon?”

You turned and were met with a guy with wide eyes and a grin too wide for his face. He was holding a chocolate-coloured biscuit.

“Yes,” you replied, anticipating this guy to be either a creepy stalker or just plain weird.

He laughed loudly, even though your reply wasn’t that funny, and stepped closer to you. “The thing is, I’m allergic to cinnamon,” he said, inspecting the biscuit closely. “Maybe you could break off a bit and tell me?”

You grinned back, deciding that he was a nice guy. “I’m allergic to chocolate, actually, so we’re at an impasse here.”

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I hate you Kim Namjoon

He was Jekyll and Hyde, but you loved them both, like fire your reletionship was dangerous but you couldn’t leave him..

For anon 

Hope you like it

illi

Originally posted by park-jimizzle

Sitting on the couch, alone..again

Nothing surprised you anymore, Joon was always so absent that it was becoming an habit.

You heard the front door open and he appeared in front of your eyes, looking bad..dark circles under his eyes, an annoyed stares.

He wasn’t lke that at the beginning, he was sweet and caring..romantic and loving.

He was a completely different person now, he was stronger..in all the ways possible. He was really jealous too and in those last months he had the worst temper ever. Like Jekill and Hyde, Joon had 2 personalities..but you loved them both.

You knew it wasn’t ok..your relationship wasn’t like others..it was like fire but you couldn’t let him go.


-Hei Joon, how was your day?

-Can’t you see?

-Mmm..ok, what do you want for dinner?

He took of his shoes and throw them aside, while he sat on the couch, far from you

-Whatever..I am not really hungry

-I know but you should eat

You looked at him, was he even Joon?

-Don’t talk to me like me mum

-I am just saying tha..

-STOP OK?? I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR FUCKING VOICE AGAIN I AM TIRED

-Ya Kim Namjoon, I get it..but don’t to me like that

-SO YOU STOP STRESSING ME OUT

-I AM JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU


Again? Another fight?


-STOP

-HOW CAN I??

-JUST LEAVE ME ALONE OK?? I AM TOO BUSY TO CARE ABOUT YOU TOO NOW


Wow, that was strong.

You bared all those months because you knew he had an important comeback and he was stressed, but he crossed the line.

You took your purse without saying a world and started walking to the door


-YES JUST LEAVE, RUN AWAY..IT’S THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO EH?

-JOON WHAT THE FUCK?! STO BEING AN ASSHOLE AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH


Glasses on the floor, you saw Joon breaking the glass table next to the couch and walking  to you. You just stood there, didn’t move a single muscle, was he out of his mind?

He faced you, a few cm away from your face and with a deep voice he said


-Don’t even try to fucking leave

-I hate you


You turned around and left the apartment, hearing his screams you almost run out of the building, the cold hair hitting your skin, you truly hated him right now.. couldn’t he see how much you were worried about him?

Fuck that

That was enough


You heard your phone ringing, it was him..you ignored the call and kept walking

-Y/N

So stubborn, it was past 2 am and he was screaming in the streets, like a crazy person.

-Kim Namjoon what the fuck?

He run to you

-Y/N come home

He grabbed your wrist, and dragged you back to the building, when he finally let you go you were back in the apartment.

-I. Told. You. Not. to. Leave

-You realize how crazy you look right now right?

-YES I AM FUCKING CRAZY OK? EVERYBODY IS STRESSING ME OUT AND NOW YOU LEAVE WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EH?

-MAYBE NOT SCREAMING AT ME AND TELLING ME TO LEAVE?

-OH MY GOD YOU KNOW I DIND’T MEAN IT

-Are you sure?

You looked at him and he lost his words

-Are you really sure? You sounded pretty convinced and it’s been months since we’ve been together without fighting so…are you sure you don’t really want me to leave? Cause I think it’s better to do it that way

He looked at you confused, you just took your purse again and walked back out

-Bye Namjoon

But before you could reach the door he placed himself in front of it

-Please Namjoon I am hella tired ok?

You felt his eyes on you but you couldn’t look up to him, just trying to get him out of the way, taking his white shirt and trying to move him, actually not trying that hard.

He held your hands and you murmured a powerless “stop” but he didn’t seems to care

-Stop fighting, I won’t let you go


-Ya..ya Y/N I told you to stop


You wanted to cry, but you were to proud.


-I hate you

-And I love you

He lifted your head and looked into your eyes


-I didn’t mean it..and you know that. Do I deserve to be punished to be a fucking asshole? Yes. But I won’t let you go ok? So stop fighting back

He grabbed your hand and took you to the couch

-I am sorry Y/N, I swear I’ll make it up for this months ok?


-Talk to me Y/N

-I don’t want to

-Why?

-Because I fucking hate you Kim Namjoon

-And I fucking love you Y/N, with all my heart. And I am a selfish asshole so I won’t let you brae up with me

-You’re creepy

-Yes

-So stubborn

-I am, I probably am the worst person in the world but I became a bit better with you


He’s so funny..he doesn’t even know how good he is..he just has a bad temper. You looked at his dark eyes, you should just leave him..stop loving him..it would be better for the both  of you but how?

He got closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, cupping your face with the other. He kissed you slowly, softly.

-Y/N let me show you how much I love you

-I don’t want to

He kissed your neck, your shoulder and then back to your face

-Then why aren’t you stopping me?

-Cause I am an asshole like you

He smiled and you kissed him back, realizing you were stuck in that crazy relationship


-I hate you so fucking much Joon

He took of your shirt making you stand up and leading you to the bedroom

-I love you too

-I shouldn’t

-I love you

-You’ll ruin me

-You’ll save me Y/N

It Isn’t What it Looks Like, Really!

For @crazylazydays prompt- sorry it took so long it started out short and fluffy and then my semi-angsty ass decided to get intense AND NOW IT’S 2400 WORDS OOPS. I hope you enjoy it :)))))

“It’s not what it looks like, really!”

“It looks like Nursey’s head is stuck in-between the posts of the stairs…”

“Oh, then it’s exactly what it looks like.”

Earlier That Day…

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Kili x Reader x Fili:  Cats

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

(Author’s note: So…I felt like posting something for you guys in between requests.  This was actually a piece of a fanfic that I wrote for the Hobbit with my OC, Robyn, but I edited it to be a reader insert.

Basically, the Reader is someone who is journeying through Middle Earth with the Company; loves cats, but hates reptiles.  Also, we get a cute Fili and Kili reacting to a cat!  And who doesn’t want to see that?

Gif is not mine, credit to original owner!)

   You cautiously approached a couple of little goats that chewed on hay casually in Beorn’s house.  It was kind of funny how the animals weren’t alarmed in the least to see strangers in their house.  You knelt down and gently scratched goat’s pelt, smiling at how soft it felt under your fingertips.  No doubt these animals were very well taken care of.  How could you not love this place?  Beorn’s house was basically a petting zoo.  

   After escaping the bear who you knew to be Beorn from the movie, Gandalf had just ordered the Company to get some rest.  It had been a long journey so far, and the group was on the run from the orc pack since the first showdown with Azog outside Goblin Town.  It was nice to finally be able to kick back for a while.

   “Aww!” You couldn’t contain your excitement at the sight of a cat that came padding out to stare with wide, curious yellow eyes.  It was a pudgy thing, but that made it all the more beautiful and adorable.

   “Everything alright, Miss ________?” Balin asked, concerned. He had been busy clearing a spot in the straw for himself to sleep in.

   “Look at this cat!  She’s so cute!” you gushed.  The dwarf shook his head in amusement, chuckling, and returned to his work.   You sat down on the hay-covered floor criss-crossed.   “Ps-ps-ps-ps,” you called to the cat, holding out your hand temptingly.  It hesitated before finally giving in to its curiosity and approaching you.  It touched its nose to your fingers tentatively, as if checking things out to be sure you weren’t dangerous.  “That’s right,” you cooed.  “I’m not going to hurt you.”  The cat seemed to decide that the coast was clear because it rubbed its cheek across your hand lovingly.  “What a sweetheart.  How come I didn’t see you in the movie?”  The cat purred loudly as it circled you, brushing its silvery-gray pelt with a swirled stripe pattern against your sides.  

   “Someone seems to be enjoying their stay already,” Fili teased, standing over you with arms folded.  Kili was a little further away, watching the exchange curiously.  

   “This cat just made my day,” you giggled. “She’s so sweet!  She came right up to me and let me pet her.”

   Fili and Kili looked at the cat, somewhat fascinated but cautious.

   “Don’t you like cats?” you asked, noticing their expressions.  If you didn’t know any better, you would have suspected them of being afraid of the animal.

   “We don’t really keep cats as pets.  Dogs are much more useful,” Kili informed.  “They can at least hunt and keep guard.  Cats just look…evil.”

   You gasped in mock offense.  “Cats are adorable too, you know.  You just have to be familiar with how they communicate. But yes, I suppose they do look evil sometimes,” she admitted.  “One of my cats back home is named (______) and she is a total witch.”

   Fili’s eyes widened in horror.  “Your cat is a witch?”  He shot the cat in front of him a wary look, as if expecting it to shoot lasers out of its eyes.

   “No,” you laughed.  “ Not literally.  Calling someone a witch is another way of calling them evil.  It’s a figure of speech where I come from.”

   “Oh.”

   “But anyways, don’t you want to pet Little Miss Kitty- I mean, uh, the cat?”  You caught your slip-up.  But ofcourse you were already giving the cat a nick-name and getting attached to it.  “I promise she’s really nice and not a witch.  You have to be gentle, though, or else she might turn into one if she’s scared.”

   “Right.”  Kili stepped up bravely, looking as if he were about to do battle as he knelt down beside her and slowly held out his hand.  Little Miss Kitty stared at him for a moment with her big, hypnotic eyes before tipping her head as a silent request for him to pet her.  He ruffled the silver fur on her head, making her pull away with disdain.

   “Cats don’t like being pet the same way dogs do. Not so rough.  They like to be gently stroked.  Like this.”  You ran a hand along Little Miss Kitty’s back gently until it reached the tip of her tail.  “See?”

   Kili tried again, taking your advice, and was much more successful this time in winning the cat’s favor.  Even Fili joined in the petting session, a big smile spreading across his face as the cat purred even louder.  He quickly pulled his hand away when Kili cringed.

   “Ow, ow, it’s licking me.  Why does it hurt?” Kili panicked, watching as Little Miss Kitty’s tongue rasped along his hand affectionately.

   “It’s okay,” You laughed again.  “She likes you.”

   He winced.  “What an odd way of showing it.”

   “Well, I’m off to bed,” Fili yawned.  He gave you a playful nudge.  “Don’t stay up too late petting Little Miss Kitty.”

   “No guarantees.”

   His chuckle came out as a half-yawn. “Goodnight.”

   “Goodnight.  Sleep tight. Don’t let the goats bite.”

   “Very funny.”

   “No, really,” you said seriously.  “Goats have a tendency to chew on things.  Don’t let them get a hold of your cloak.”  You looked back at Kili to see him petting the cat with a huge smile on his face.  It was rather cute as well as comical to see him so captivated by the creature after being so hesitant to approach it in the first place.  

   “Fili says dogs are better, but…”  He chuckled when Little Miss Kitty rubbed her cheek against his hand.  “I may have to reconsider.”

   “I just like animals in general,” you told him. But then you made a face.  “Except reptiles.”

   “Kind of funny, considering we’re on a quest to reclaim Erebor from a dragon.”

    “Well, that’s different.  Smaug isn’t tiny and slithering and creepy with venomous fangs that sink into your skin.”  You shivered.

   “You’re right.  He’s more on the huge and monstrous and evil side.”

   “Yeah, true,” you sighed.  A part of you wondered how you’d would react seeing Smaug in person.  Would you be brave enough to stand up to him?  Would you be too frightened to move?  Kili interrupted your thoughts.

   “I’m tired.  I suppose I’ll leave you with those words now,” he said, giving the cat one last pat before he stood to his feet.  “Sleep well.”

   “You too.”  You watched him leave for a moment before turning your attention back to Little Miss Kitty.  The silver cat meowed and moseyed her way to the kitchen, leaving you to let out an exhausted sigh and spare a glance at the pile of hay that was to be your bed for the night.  It beckoned for you to lie down and sink into blissful sleep.  Unable to resist any longer, you set to work on removing the boots and socks as well as unclipping your belt and sword sheath.  The house was filled with the loud snores of the dwarves, though you did not mind.  They had become comforting sounds.   You went to lie down on the hay, which made an excellent mattress, and pulled your cloak up over your body to use as a blanket.  To your utter delight, Little Miss Kitty had returned and crawled up onto your chest for more petting.  The cat turned around in a full circle before settling down.  She gazed at you lazily through half-lidded eyes with a constant purr emitting from her throat.

   It was like having a piece of home with you that night.  Your cats back home poked their noses into your business all the time, whether you were doing chores or studying.  And at least one of them slept in your bed every night.  Little Miss Kitty brought a certain kind of comfort that you hadn’t felt since the journey started.  With the sounds of friends’ snoring and cats purring, you were able to drift off into a deep and comfortable sleep for the first time in weeks.

anonymous asked:

did you see Harry's interview with the lady and how he spontaneously told her "I love you" and she was like "wait what" THATS HOW I SEE HE WILL TELL HIS SO THAT HE LOVES HER OH MY GOOOD

I swear to Christ, it’s such a Harry thing to do. Just spontaneously telling people he loves them and then blushing like crazy after it’s rolled off of his tongue because it was sudden and rather forward. 

He’d be sat with the missus on the sofa of her flat, watching a movie with popcorn sat between them, their feet kicked up on her coffee table and snickers escaping their lips each time a funny moment passed on the screen. When he sees her giggling to herself, the sweet sound making his heart swell, he’d just stare at her with so much adoration in his eyes, a smile on his face before he turns back when she catches him.

“What’re you looking at?” She’d smile, kicking his ankle softly, “you’re being creepy, H.”

He’d let a toothy smile take over his face, his cheeks blushing and his eyes crinkling before he swung his head round, “I just, I love you.”

“What?” Her eyes would bug out, her figure shifting in her seat as she sat up and leant forward, “did yo-”

“That was, uhm, I’m sorry,” he’d whisper, looking at his lap with wide eyes, “I don’t know why I said it.”

“No, no, uhm,” she’d reach across for his hand and squeezed it softly, pausing softly with her speech, “I think I, uhm, you know,” she’d blush, “I think I love you, too.” xx

Tell me something

Word count: 686

You wake up in the middle of the night and catch Kai staring at you

For the last couple of nights, you had a feeling like someone’s eyes were strongly focused on you. Even in your sleep you felt it, but you weren’t paying too much attention just because Kai had his arms around you and you knew you were safe and that there was nothing you needed to worry about. It was fine.

‘You’re so beautiful.’ Kai whispered, watching how beautiful you looked when you were sleeping. Peaceful. A smile was on his face the entire time. He was the one who’s been watching you. He would wake up in the middle of the night and watch you sleep and remember how lucky he is. You squirmed a little bit and opened your eyes, only to find Kai looking at you with a gentle and genuine look.

'Kai’ your voice was raspy, yoir eyelids fighting to be closed again, but somehow you managed to keep them opened.

'I’m sorry, did I wake you up?’ Kai whispered and caressed your soft cheek gently.

'No, don’t worry. Why… why are you awake?’ Kai just smiled and kissed your lips gently, ready to tell you why was he so mesmerized by the way you slept.

'I’m just… enjoying my view. I’m sorry if you think this is creepy, but I can’t help it.’ He whispered, your muth forming into a smile, thinking how this is both funny and cute. Instead of sleeping, he woke up just to watch you sleep.

'No, it’s fine, bur have you been doing this every night?’ Your eyes were focused on Kai’s blue ones. Even with only moonlight shining on his face, you could perfectly see their color and he looked more beautiful than ever.

'Just for the last couple of nights.’ You laughed quietly and came closer a little bit, his palm pressed against your cheek.

'Why?’ You asked, still not completely clear why was he doing this and deep down you were dying to know why would Kai Parker do such a thing.

'You’re gonna make me say, aren’t you?’ You nodded and smiled making Kai blush a little bit.

'Because… I love watching you sleep. It's… really calming and peaceful and seeing you breathing, your chest rising up and down, knowing you’re still alive and here beside me makes me really happy and when you’re dreaming about something, sometimes a small smile forms on your face and it looks adorable. That kinda stuff just reminds me of how much I love you and how much it means that you’re here with me.’

You smiled again, unsure what to tell him because that was the cutest things he’s ever said to you and it made you indescribably happy.

'Is that cheesy?’ He asked, his palm still caressing your cheek gently.

'Very cheesy.’ He laughed and hugged you tightly, your warm body close to his. 'But I love it.’ You pulled away a little bit, just to be able to look him in the eyes, but still be close to him.

'I love everything you said because stuff like this really surprise me when you say them and it just adds another thing on the list of things I love about you, but it is super cheesy and romantic.’ You both laughed as Kai pulled you closer again, wrapping his strong arms around your body.

'You’re everything I need. If I have you, I’m happy.’ He whispered, making you smile but unable to see it because your head was pressed against his chest.

'I love you Kai.’ You lifted your head up just enough to connect your lips with Kai’s. 'Love you too.’ He whispered and kissed you again. He kissed every part od your face, from your lips to your cheeks and forehead, making you laugh. This was the side of Kai no one but you knew it exists. It was a little secret between you and Kai. Kai who at that moment wouldn’t hurt anyone. He was just a gentle person who wanted to kiss you all night and make sure you knew how much he appreciates you and how much you make him happy.

Summary: Jared makes a video for his profile on a dating website and the reader watches it.

Characters: Jared, Reader

Warnings: None

If you would like to be tagged in any of my stories you can add yourself HERE


“Hi, It’s Jared.” You watched as Jared waved into the camera.

“Really? That’s your entrance?” You heard another deep voice behind the camera. Jared rolled his eyes at whoever it was.

“I’m 30, I live in Texas I own a bar that just opened so I spend most of the time there but when I’m not there I love going to the beach and just spending time with friends. If you wanna know more you can just add me and shoot me a message.” Jared said before the camera shut off. Something about Jared stuck out to you so you clicked the add button and took a deep breath as you typed a message.

“Hi Jared! My name is Y/N. I’d love to get to know you. Maybe a coffee or something? Shoot me a message back! :)” You pushed send and went into the kitchen to grab you a cup of coffee. As soon as you poured yourself a coffee you went to sit back down in your office chair and you started getting a FaceTime call. You looked at the name and it said Jared. Your heart started pounding. You checked your hair in the mirror on your desk before pushing answer.

“Hi.” You smiled nervously.

“Hi, you must be Y/N.” Jared said smiling. He had his hair slicked back a little and was wearing a plaid shirt.

“Yup that’s me.” You nodded.

“You’re even more beautiful than your profile picture.” Jared replied and you blushed slightly.”

“Thanks.” You smiled lightly.

“I just called cause I had to see your face. Make sure you weren’t a creepy old dude.” He smirked and you giggled.

“Has that happened before?” You asked curiously.

“Actually yes.” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but bust out laughing.

“I’m so sorry.” You said after calming down from your laughing fit.

“It’s fine. It is pretty funny now.” Jared grinned.

“Um… may I ask who the other person was in your video?” You raised an eyebrow curiously.

“That was my best friend Jensen. He’s the one that pushed me to make this profile.” Jared replied.

“Ah, I see.” You smiled.

“So uh..I’ll take you up on that coffee whenever you have time.” Jared smiled.

“Um..I’m available now. How about right now? Starbucks?” You smiled confidently.

“Sounds great. See you there Y/N.” He said before hanging up.


Jared Tags: @fandomlyawsome

Forever Tags: @wingedchildperfection @boredoutofmymindwriting @evyiione @jensen-jarpad @frickfracklesackles @imaginesofdreams @27bmm @mogaruke @donnaintx @docharleythegeekqueen @hexparker @katiekatskorner @wonderland12photographythings @nicolemorgan286 @jayankles   

Magic Box

Warning/s: none ? cliche at some point

Requested

I was baking cookies when I heard Peter groan in frustration. I walked over to the living room to see him bashing the remote control on the sofa.

“Woah. What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It’s this damn magic box. Doesn’t seem to have magic at all.” Peter gritted his teeth.

I laughed at his lack of intelligence about modern technology.

Peter frowned and stood up from the sofa.

“You think this is funny, Y/N?” He said with a creepy voice.

I stopped laughing. This side of Peter scared me but I tried to ignore it. I failed miserably.

“Uh.. It’s just that this is t-the third t-time this w-week that you had the same problem” I managed to stutter out.

Peter looked at me with the same expression from before and then laughed.

I made a confused face.

“What?” I whispered.

“You should’ve seen your face! You were so scared!” he laughed.

I glared at him and slapped his shoulder.

“That’ll teach you not to laugh at me, love.” He grinned.

I pouted.

He walked closer until our bodies touched and then he pecked my lips.

He grinned.

“Now help me with this magic box.”

Do You Have To Do That? (11/?)

Pairing: The Avenger Team x Reader // Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Swearing?

A/N: I have decided to re-write this for those of you who had started it, I’m going to start over I’m keep the first part and possibly a good portion of the second. But I am going to take it in a different direction. If you want to be tagged let me know, I’ll glad you add you.

(Sorry this has taken me so long with writing this!! I hit a major writer block)

@chrisevansthedoritobastard   @holahellohialoha  
@almightyunnie @imamotherfuckingstar-lord
@iwillbeinmynest  @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked
@goodnightwife @irepeldirt  
@yourtropegirl  @bellejeunefillesansmerci  
@buckyb-avengers  @winterboobaer  
@mrhowardstark @captainsteverogerslover  
@stank-tower  @thevanishedillusion  
@shamvictoria11  @heir-of-light-33  
@princess-fangirl1 @alphasoldier
@rileyloves5  @jonsnowisnotdeadthough
@phvckingphandoms    @confuzzled-panda

Parts 1-10

“Could someone help me?” You ask stumbling into the hallway holding your strapless, laced crop top closed.

“Turn.” Steve chuckles, his hands replacing yours as he connects the small eyelet hooks on your top. His fingers brushing your exposed skin, you have to resist the shiver running down your spine.

“Oh.” Buck freezes just outside his door, shifting awkwardly.

Keep reading

The House ( BBS Murder House Au)

I am so sorry this took so long! I kept erasing and rewriting cause I want this to be good! I’ve already started on the second chapter so it will be up sometime tomorrow. I hope you all enjoy.


The teen had been stumbling through the dark for what seemed like hours before he finally made it to the road. His aching legs finally gave out from under him sending him to the ground. He laid there as tears silently streamed down his face. He watched as pair of headlight drew closer. The car stopped beside him and he heard people calling to him. Finally he closed his eyes.

He survived but… was it worth it?

Keep reading

Frostbite & Flurries

Pairing:  Jack Frost x Reader

Warnings:  None

Key:  (Y/E/C) is your eye color, and as always, (Y/N) is your name.  (Edelweiss - pronounced A-dill-vice)

Author’s note:  I know it has nothing to do with my theme but I wanted to write something for Christmas.  Also, just to help clarify, Jack can control snow, ice, and frost while she (you/the reader) is limited to frost.

Edelweiss - Song

Originally posted by coeurglace

Originally posted by nevermindtheb0ll0cks

Originally posted by thatfunnyweirdindiechick

Frostbite & Flurries

Winter.  Your favorite season.  Mainly due to the fact that your frost powers were more fun in the winter, but it was still a wonderful time of year.  Christmas, Snowball fights, and Jack Frost.  Well, whatever he left behind.  You knew better than to believe in such a thing as Jack Frost, at least for now.

Keep reading

angexlos  asked:

Hi I'm no su critical but the new Lars is so bad. Like they shows Lars naked for some reason? It's not necessary and not only that but if you re-watch the episode they hint at Lars Doing his thing as he has a magazine ontop of his face, tissues, and again, naked while he was in bed. Why did they need to show a teenager naked??? There's no point to t it's so creepy and gross!! Not only that but why did Steven, a child, need to see this!

most of the fandom is on firm agreement w the new lars honestly, that’s how bad it was. i’ve actually never seen anyone bring up the nude thing and tbh you are ?? so right ?? i guess you could argue that his being naked was just because little kids would find it funny (bc they would), but the sexual implications of it was taking things way too far. like, he’s a teenager. and there’s no way to justify steven seeing it, that just makes me more uncomfortable the more i think about it. this show has a bad history of sexualizing things that didn’t need it, even just for a joke, and i’m really glad someone’s brought it up !!

As Shizuo’s fist connected with the face of the last standing thug in the area, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He dug around for a moment, extricating it right as the thug’s trajectory was halted by crashing into a building a few blocks down.

[There’s another disturbance down on Otome if you have the time~~~. Looks like Sumioshi-kai funded thugs this time, so be careful, they may have firearms d(*⌒▽⌒*)b]

Shizuo let out a small snort of laughter. [Your enthusiasm is creepy and inappropriate. But I have time]

It was astounding Shizuo had so much working knowledge of various yakuza families now, simply through the benefit of Izaya’s network of information and the face-to-face experience of beating up all of the soldiers who had decided to have a turf war in ‘bukuro. Not all of the thugs Izaya alerted him to were yakuza, but the yakuza scum were certainly the most weapon-laden, and the most interested in actually fighting Shizuo (locals had a penchant for fleeing while emitting emasculating screams).

[I am only trying to show interest in Shizu-chan’s hobbies. Stay safe, cuddle-cakes]

[Of course, mookie-pie]

[What is a mookie? It sounds like a completely unsuitable substance to make a pie out of]

[Die in a fire]

[More and more likely! O(≧∇≦)O]

—  Very realistic (and hillarious) flirting between Izaya and Shizuo.
Grant Gustin, interview

You’re famous and he’s your celebrity crush

Originally posted by fyeahgrantgust

“Hey, Grant! You got a celebrity crush at the moment?” The interviewer caught Grant’s attention.
“Uhm, yeah actually! I just saw this really good film, Y/N Y/L/N were in it and I just got kind of obsessed, haha,” Grant’s cheeks turned a slight shade of red at the end, realizing how creepy that could have seemed.

“You know, that’s so funny! We just spoke to her a minute ago, and she was really fond of ‘That actor from the Flash, Grant Gustin’” When the reporter had said this a smile immediately appeared on Grant’s face.
“Really?” He laughed, not believing it 100% before the interviewer nodded drastically.

“Oh, wow! That’s such an honor, I just- wow!” Grant said, not knowing he would later run into the star herself. Also oblivious to his future relationship with Y/N, he said his goodbyes to the interviewer. Never in his wildest dreams, he could have known you and him would end up married with three adorable children. Yet, it happened, and you both lived the happiest life anyone could ever ask for.


A/N: OK, so I know this isn’t exactly one of my best works, but hey! There’s 1500 of you?! I have 1500 followers?! How on earth did I manage to deserve that?! Wow, pressure's big right now, I’ll try my best to make the next update worthy for you lovelies:**