his face is bootiful

i’m imagining fake ah crew jeremy joining the crew shortly after graduating high school and after a couple years deciding he wants to take some college courses part time because he’s interested in music and art and all sorts of shit and now he’s got the money to pursue that

he’s nervous about mentioning it to geoff and the others because what if they’re not cool with me skipping out on some jobs to do this

but instead everyone is actually super encouraging and somehow that is ten thousand times worse

  • like jeremy shows up for a heist briefing and jack’s like “what the hell are you doing here, you have a paper due in the morning, get out, go work on it”
  • he gets a c on a project and ryan very calmly suggests that he can “go have a chat” with his professor, ryan no, why do you have a bat
  • he registers late and there isn’t room in a couple courses he wanted; twenty minutes later gavin cheerfully lets him know that there was a database error and suddenly there’s plenty of room in those courses, how about that
  • geoff picks him up from campus right before they’re ready to do a heist. 
    some kid: who’s the dude yelling in the yellow booty shorts on the motorcycle?
    jeremy, covering his face with his hands: that. would be my boss.
  • michael calls him and tells him he’ll be there to pick him up in a couple minutes
    jeremy: are those…sirens in the background?
    michael: yeah, i can’t actually stop, how do you feel about jumping in through the window while i’m going like thirty miles an hour
  • eventually jeremy’s like the kid in middle school embarrassed to be seen with his mom. “just– you can just drop me off at the corner, actually, right here’s fine, i’ll walk”
Who is Sehun?

♡ *Chokes*

♡ You:oh!

   Me:You mean Oh Sehun

♡ He was only 22 when he saved all of us with his dance in lotto

♡ E X O

♡ Maknae

♡ Dance line

♡ His instagram deserves to be in a museum

♡ B E S T  P O S T S  E V E R

♡ The lost one

♡ Owner of iconic lines that will always be remembered

♡ Shawty imma party till da sun down

   Never don’t mind about a thing

   That’s right my type

We actually love SM for giving him lines

♡ His line in sing for you got me crying

♡ An angel indeed

♡ Sang Baekhyun’s part in cloud9 

♡ We were all proud

♡ #Givesehunlines2k17

♡ Innocent af

♡ Doesn’t really understand dirty jokes and stays away from that stuff but who knows

♡ When he and kai-also the maknae- went to a chinese mukbang show,he didn’t understand a dirty joke 

♡ and stood there like an innocent baby while kai was laughing his ass off

♡ Is a fluff ball

♡ He isn’t the aegyo type 

♡ but his presence itself is cute

Originally posted by whenxoxosmilesunshines

♡ He is so loved

♡ not just by members but by the staff as well

♡ All of them love him but

♡ He has a special bond with The “shopping crew”

♡ Sehun+chanyeol+suho+vivi

♡ Suho loves him aaaa llooooott

♡ and he loves him back

♡ sehun basically grew up with suho while suho was taking care of him

♡ Wants to join “THE BEAGLE LINE”

♡ but age matters only in korea

♡ Has a lovely relationship with every member

♡ Plays with baek’s hair

♡ laughs with xiumin

♡ Makes fun of people with d.o

♡ Chanyeol is his partner in crime

♡ Learns chinese from yixing

♡ Runs in the concert with chen

♡ Him and kai are basically two hoes

♡ His relationship with suho is just adorable

♡ he also learned how to roast people from suho

roasted suho countless times

♡ which proves that he’s an angel sent from above

♡ He grew up a lot

♡ After Luhan left,he got more mature as he said

♡ “With luhan,i learned the true meaning of friendship”

♡ Is a soft baby

except when he dances in the water

♡ IS SEXY

AS FUCK

♡ He can be an angel but he’s also a sexy god

♡ He can literally beat anyone with his sexiness

Originally posted by huntertainment

Why do fuck my life

♡ He is handsome

♡ really handsome

♡ I’m pretty sure he could be a model if he weren’t a member of exo

THANK GOD FOR MAKING HIM A MEMBER

♡ He is seriously no joke

♡ He was chosen as the best dressed in LV Paris show

♡ OUT OF ALL THE CELEBRITIES

♡ *proud tears*

♡ Goes to fashion shows a lot

♡ SEBOOTY who we all worship

♡ This mans body is no joke

♡ His face

♡ His abs

♡ His arms

♡ His legs

♡ Especially his booty

When did a get in such a perverted fandom

♡ I have no regrets

Originally posted by eggso

♡ Looks good

♡ while eating

♡ while walking

♡ while existing

♡ Looks hella good in glasses

Originally posted by wooyoung

♡ Looks good in anything

Would look better without

♡ Also rocks every hair colour

♡ Sehun in black is hot

♡ Blonde sehun is god

♡ The rainbow hair

I hear people cringing 

♡ We don’t say thathe doesn’t look good but

Why rainbow?

♡ Is a big meme

♡ A really big one

♡ He is a living meme legend

Originally posted by bangtan-monsta

♡ YEHET

♡ OHORAT

♡ Got embarrassed and was shocked when jhonny called him sunbae

♡ He thought he was talking to jhonny from nct but you never know

♡ He soon found out that the person was jeonghan from SVT 

Jeonghan spilled all the beans to monsta x

♡ Is still embarrassed 

♡ In paris,manager told him to stop doing the peace sign

♡ Did it inside his pocket

♡ His vlives are a meme itself 

Originally posted by yixingsosweet

♡  V I V I

♡ There’s a rumor saying that if you say vivi 3 times

♡ A worried sehun will appear behind you and ask

♡ “WHERE?”

♡ His biggest passion in life

♡ His love

♡ His will to live—->

Originally posted by sehunsi

I ship them

♡ He is the type of boyfriend that will let you drown when he goes to save vivi

Vivi is a dog and knows how to swim

♡ I feel sorry for his future wife bc his first love isn’t her

♡ SASSY

♡ he has the most sass on earth

♡ I ain’t joking

♡ There’s a korean joanne the scammer  in his soul

Originally posted by jinfa-jinju

♡ HE IS SKINNY

♡ HE IS BLONDE OR WAS

♡ HE IS PRETTY

♡ We all know where this convo ends

♡ Suho said that he used to cry a lot since he misses his family

♡ His acting in exo next door was priceless

Why do they all act like they never filmed it?

♡ He has this upcoming movie called “dear Archimedes”

♡ S U P P O R T  H I M

Originally posted by luedeer

♡ He is a soft fluff ball who needs protection and love and more lines

p.s.THEIR COMEBACK IS COMING Y’ALL

anonymous asked:

I saw this on another account but how do you think Shawn would react if his gf was mad that Katy touched his butt, cause I would! (You could write the scenario;))

MASTERLIST

It’s Not Jealousy 

word count: 1,360

“Just grab it babe, grab my butt” Shawn laughed, shaking his booty at your face.

“Stop Shawn” you said annoyed, pushing him away from you.

“Come on y/n, just give it a rough squeeze. Your hands on my booty is better than Katy’s. Don’t be jealous” he joked, still waving his butt at your face.

“Seriously Shawn, back off” you said, rolling your eyes frustrated at him.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I just binge read all your yoi twt and it's amazing????!! They're so funny. Can you possibly make one of Yuuri finally getting around to making the katsuDAMN merch and everyone wearing it including Yuuri and it's just the best thing ever!

#KatsuDAMNmerch (Part Two)

Twincest @Crispinofan69
GUYS YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW!!! #KatsuDAMNmerch @mickey-crispino
(Photo attached of Mickey wearing a pair of black sweat pants with KatsuDAMN written on the butt)

JJ’s Queen @JJsQueen52
IT IS REAL #KatsuDAMNmerch @Jjleroy!15
(Photo attached of JJ wearing red booty shorts with KatsuDAMN written on the butt)

Bunny Boy @BunnyButt
ALL THE BUTTS! #KatsuDAMNmerch @Mila-Babe @G-Popovich @yuri-plisetsky
(Photo attached of the Russian team all wearing KatsuDAMN shorts)

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
Okay, okay, I will admit that #KatsuDAMNmerch is in its tester phase

Shark-Boy @PoolShark
How long till #KatsuDAMNmerch is available to the public? @yuurikatsuki

Tanned Boys @bEtTeRwHeNtAnNedD
CROP TOPS!!! #KatsuDAMNmerch ALSO COMES IN CROP TOPS!!!
(Photo attached of Phichit waving to a fan in a KatsuDAMN crop top)

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
Close friends and family are currently testing out the brand #KatsuDAMNmerch

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
If everything goes to plan, #KatsuDAMNmerch will be available within the next six months or so

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
Everyone testing out #KatsuDAMNmerch will also be modelling for it

Victor Nikiforov’s Future Wife @Vic-Nik-No-1
WHERE IS MY @v-nikiforov IN #KatsuDAMNmerch

victor’s peasant @steponmevictor
@v-nikiforov
IN #KatsuDAMNmerch

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
-winking emoji- #KatsuDAMNmerch
(Photo of Yuuri wearing a pink KatsuDAMN hoodie with bedhead and a sleepy look on his face)

Phichit Chulanont @phichit+chu
WHERE IS MY @yuurikatsuki IN BOOTY SHORTS #KatsuDAMNmerch

Victor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
@phichit+chu #KatsuDAMNmerch
(Photo attached of an embarrassed Yuuri standing in front of a mirror, wearing a pair of KatsuDAMN booty shorts that matched the pair Victor was wearing in the background of the mirror)

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
You are lucky I love you @v-nikiforov #KatsuDAMNmerch
(Photo attached of Victor checking his butt out in a mirror while wearing a pair of KatsuDAMN booty shorts)

Christophe Giacometti @christophe-gc
The booty shorts are really comfy though @yuurikatsuki #KatsuDAMNmerch

Christophe Giacometti @christophe-gc
I might need a few more pairs @yuurikatsuki #KatsuDAMNmerch

Yuuri Katsuki @yuurikatsuki
I don’t want to know @christophe-gc #KatsuDAMNmerch

M. Mystery @MysteryMan
I apologise for everything @yuurikatsuki

Twitter War AU

AO3 Twitter War

[Tony’s taking photos of Natasha and the heavily asleep Bucky]

Natasha: Wait, do another, do another.

[Natasha puts on Tony’s tinted sunglasses and points her chest in Bucky’s face]

Tony: [amused] Good one.

Natasha: New Facebook default. In fact, this is my new default pic for everything including my tombstone.

Tony: Since you did boobs, I’m gonna put my booty in his face, ‘cause all he wants for his birthday is a [sings] big booty ho.

[Tony passes the phone to Natasha and backs his butt up to Bucky’s face]

Natasha: Closer. I can’t get both of you. Get closer.

[As Tony’s backing up he crashes into Bucky waking him up]

Bucky: I never get tired of waking up like this.

He seems playful at first, but as his hands feel the weight of her luscious booty, his face begins to show his arousal.

As his hands squeeze her bottom and pull her closer to him, all she can think is “Yes…yes! Touch it baby.”

Richonne is so naughty 😁
Subtle Aspirations

Genre: (MATURE) Smut, Fluff, M/W

Shin Hoseok / Wonho x Reader
Summary: You had no shame in being a stripper, it was a means to an end to reach your ultimate goal. It’d be easier if your co-worker, Wonho, would quit stealing your damn customers of course. Ignoring the small part of you that was grateful for not having to touch those sleazy people or not, that was your money - your chance at escape. So why is it that, even though he pisses you off to no ends, you can’t stop staring at him lately? It’s nothing, surely.

Word Count: 7.7k+

Warnings: No Applicable Warnings

Originally posted by hypefestival

Keep reading

Southern Girl - Ch. 9 {Roman Reigns x OFC}

Author’s Note: This chapter is long as fuck… There was so much I wanted to get in and I couldn’t find a suitable place to end it, so…  Also, I edited this super quick, so I apologize if there are any errors. 

Ivy finally gets to meet Joe’s family. Think Mama Reigns will like her?? Leave me comments pleeeeeease. Also, here’s the link to Joe’s Pensacola Gulf home. 

Warnings: Definitely smut. Daddy kink.

Word Count: 6,414

Chapter 8

Originally posted by serena-williams


Originally posted by stellarollins


Chapter 9: Meet the Folks

Bright light shined down on Ivy as she lay on her belly in the center of the bed, her dark hair a halo around her. When he’d tried to leave the bed, she had mewled like a little kitten, pulling him closer and nuzzling against his chest. With a smile, Joe laid with her another thirty minutes of so, just enjoying her in his arms before reluctantly untangling his naked body from hers to order breakfast for them. From his position at the window, he snapped a photo of her laying there for him to look at during the times he was away and missing her like crazy. Ivy was the definition of black girl magic. Aside from her physical beauty, she had a brilliant mind and a heart he longed to possess completely. His little southern girl was the kind of once in a lifetime woman that men begged God for. And here she was… all his. The glint from her bracelet caught the light when she shifted, bringing another smile to his face.

Ivy rolled over in bed, clutching the sheet to her bare breasts as she sleepily sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. She smiled when she saw her lover standing there, his warrior’s body just barely covered in a pair of boxers.

“You know I could watch you all day. You look like such an angel.”

“That’s only not creepy because you’re my boyfriend and you’re hot,” she said, laughing softly. “Why are you all the way over there?”

“Ordered breakfast and got caught up in the view,” he said, nodding towards her as he walked towards the bed.

Ivy reached for him, smiling when he covered her mouth with his. Joe tasted like mint and desire and she groaned softly before playfully biting his bottom lip. He had the nicest fucking lips.

“Be careful, baby girl… You know how much I like that shit.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

ok so my gf tried to spank me and it was so light and it sounded like one of those snap-on bracelets and we laughed so fucking hard. well im imagining otabek trying to spank yuri (to his request) and this happening the first time

Laughing during sex is my Kink and I love little moments like this ufhergureg

ABsolutely, Otabek would be so tentative at first that he’d only give Yuri a little love tap, resulting in Yuri snorting and hiding his face in the pillow to try and stifle the laughter. Cut to Otabek sitting there, crosslegged with Yuri draped face-down across his lap, playing the booty bongos on Yuri 

2

I just love this illustration so much but then I noticed that Ciel was holding a contract and Sebby has a quill pen. 

So then I started thinking, “Oh shit he’s gonna make a deal with him?”

Then I saw the amused expression the demon had and this is practically what’s written on his face.

“Make a deal for the booty, hm?”


I KID YOU FUCKING NOT. YANA.

Ringer

@ whoever sent me this story, this was amazing work! Keep it up! And remember, send me more stories!


“Now introducing, for the first time on the ring, Quick Quentin!!” A young kid stepped in the ring. His heart flooded with excitement. Finally he was going to be about to show what he had in the ring, unexpected. He was just filling in for another wrestler who stepped out and was picked last minute, he couldn’t be more happy. That smile couldn’t be wiped off his face.
“And now, bringing in the giant we all know and fear, a man of men, Thick Thunder!”
Quentins eyes froze as a giant man stepped on the other side of the ring. He was wayyy out of Quentins weight class and was enormous. He was only wearing tight spandex briefs hugging his body. His belly protruded out and he had hair everywhere.
Thunder scratched his beard and smiled as his new prey. His eyes were wild just like his smile.
The announcer called them to the center ring.
Announcer: Alright thunder, this kid is new so try to take it easy in him.
Thunder: No promises
He pulled Quentin towards his close, he could feel his body heat.
Thunder: He’s the one who signed up for a humiliation match
“Humiliation match?!?!” Quentin thought. “What could that mean?”
Thunder: just follow my lead and I won’t make anything too rough for ya.
Announcer: Ready!?!?!
The crowd erupted with excitement.
“Wait wait, what is this? My trainer didn’t tell me it’s a humiliation match! What does that even mean?!”
Announcer: Set?!?!
Thunder took position prowled over, arms out ready to grab.
Announcer: Rumble!!
Before the announcer could even step back, the giant man dove to Quentin. One hand reached behind the boys head while the other raised to the sky.
Quentin: Mmpf!
Thunder shoved all of Quentins face deep in his hairy armpit nodding his head in delight.
Thunder: ahhhh that feels good.
He whispered just for Quentin
Thunder: it’s been a few weeks since I’ve showered. I was saving it for wrestler that stepped out, but I guess I’ll just have to take my anger out on you.
Quentin wiggled and strained to get out but the man was too strong. The odor was so atrocious he could barely stand up. Thunder then closed his arm down trapping the boy completely. He picked Quentin up from his back and slammed him on his front side to the ground. Quentin his the floor hard and squealed when he hit. Dazed on the ground he tried to recoup himself but he couldn’t get the stench out of his nose and he felt a prominent hair of Thunders in his mouth. This is not what he was ready for but he had to prove himself with the show he has. He rolled slowly on his back only to have his heart drop. Thunder’s immense belly was right above and coming fast.
SLAM!
Announcer: Ohhh! A full weight body slam right on top of this newbie! That is hard to watch!
Quentin has wrested people before but none at this size of this man. It felt as is a refrigerator fell right on him. Thunder got up on all fours and smiled to the crowd who cheered him on. His belly was just barely covering quentins face who was slapping at his sides trying to free himself. Thunder rubbed his sweaty hairy stomach all over this kid using him as a sweat rag all while laughing a heavy laugh.
Thunder: Gwa ha ha! I love crushing tiny pipsqueaks like you!
He jumped up from his legs and slammed into Quentin again.
BOOM!
He was sweating so much Quentin could feel it all soaking around him on the floor. Thunder rose up and quickly said to Quentin
Thunder: Now stay down and follow my lead, you’re doing great being my personal rag doll so keep it up.
You didn’t have to ask Quentin twice, he could barely move. Thunder grabbed Quentin by the arms and slid him to a corned of the ring, propping his head up. Quentin could barely understand what was going on, he was just trying to catch his breath.
Announcer: Oh no! Is thunder doing what we’re all fearing?!!
Thunder spun around and put his arms on the ropes behind him and squared down. Quentin looked up to see a huge figure blocking most of the light.
“Stinkface!” He thought frantically. He tried to scramble out but Thunder, all in one motion, grabbed the kids legs on his own, bent over, and shoved his gargantuan ass right on his face.
The crowd blew up in satisfaction.
“It’s okay, you knew this might happen. It was your worst fear but you knew it was a possibility. Just take it for a bit and we’ll move on. It shouldn’t be much longer”
Thunder was really putting the weight on this kid, squeezing his ass down and down on his face. It went down on all side of this face and Quentin sank deeper in. Quentins face was being crushed on both sides of his face from the cheeks, while he was still feeling a great pressure from the front of his face. It smelled terrible in there. Weeks of unshowered, hairy, sweaty booty was enveloping his face. Thunder was loving it and putting on a great show. He started rubbing his crack up and down his face.
Thunder: Ahhhh, keep squirming! It feels good in there!
Then, without warning, Thunder raised one leg, gave a huge smile and
PPPPFFFRRPPTPTP!!!!
Thunder farted all over Quentins face. That’s when he really started freaking out. His arms and legs were moving the fastest they had the whole match.
Thunder: oh yeaaaaah that feels amazing. I think I’ll keep going.
Thunder raised his hand for the mic which the announcer threw to him. He brought it to his butt and ripped another loud one for the whole arena.
Quentins eyes were watering and he knew he couldn’t do this anymore. He never thought a stinkface would actually involve any real farting. He thought they just rubbed their asses all over their face. Thunder pulled his butt off but to everyone’s surprise, Quentins face followed.
Thunder: BWA HAHA! The little guy got trapped in there huh?
Quentin was scrambling around but then Thunder squeezed his cheeks hard causing Quentin to collapse.
Thunder: One way to get him out!
Thunder hunched over and pushed out letting out a steady stream of gas all over his ass- trapped face.
Pfft! Pfft!
Thunder squeezed harder trying to push him out.
Pffffft! Prrrbbpt! PPRRRRRPPPTFFFFFTTTTPPPTT!!!
Soon Thunder blasted Quentin out of his ass with a thunderous fart. Quentin slammed his head back on the floor. The stench was so powerful he tasted it to his gut. His lungs were filled with nothing but the torturous gas. His vision was blurry from all the tears. He couldn’t ever hear the crowd, on their feet, chanting Thunders name wanting more carnage. Quentin rose up his hand feeling for rope to pull himself up blindly fishing around. He felt something to grasp and pulled up. It must have been a weak rope because instead of pulling himself up, he pulled down. His vision came back in time to see a enormous, bare, sweaty ass staring back at him and his hand on the man wrestlers briefs. Thunder started to lose his balance. The crowd stood silent.
Thunder: Woooaaah!
BOOM! The impact was heard throughout the arena. Thunders full weighted ass fell right on top of Quentins face, squashing him with his bare ass. Thunder was just as stunned, but a big part of him was loving this outcome. Quickly he started wiggling his bare ass all over Quentin. He could feel it sliding all around with the sweat his was spreading around.
Thunder: I didn’t know you liked it so much boy! I was about to stop, but here’s some more!
Thunder let loose a monster rip shaking Quentins whole body
Thunder: who wants more?!
The crowd cheered him on.
Thunder rose up and slammed back down hard on the kid. He shook his ass side to side giving a reverse motor boat.
Thunder: wanna know why they call me thunder?
Quentin: mmmfff! Mmmmmpf!!!!!
Thunder: I’m taking that as a yes!
Thunders mouth made a giant open smile. It soon clenched as his pushed out his worst, smelliest one yet directly on him.
PPPPRRRRRRPPPPTPTPTPTPPPPPPPTTTTT!
Thunder sighed feel phenomenal after letting that go. He got his bearings and got to his feet, squashing Quentin more shifting his weight around to get up. Quentins face was radiating the smell that he could not escape. He felt humiliated. The whole crowd loved watching him be tortured and embarrassed. He couldn’t take it anymore. Who cared about wresting? Quentin tried to make a break for it out of the ring. He threw half of his body out but before he could get out something grabbed his leg. He turned around to see thunder holding him. His face was now fiery and mad. Quentin hadn’t seen this yet.
Thunder: I told you to follow my lead. Now things are gonna get really rough for you…