in case you don’t want to go read it for explanation; this is the secondary wedding which they travel to the shire for at bilbo’s insistence. it takes them a few years to get everything organized but, being in a time of peace, the kingdom (left with fili and balin in charge) survives well enough without them for a few months. many bells, many flowers, much dancing, much ale
Every time I publish a blog post or post to social media and use masculine pronouns for my son (whether I’m talking about his desire to be called Mrs. Clooney, get his ears pierced, etc.), people – no matter how accepting and progressive they think they are – tell me I’m using the wrong pronouns. They insist that my son is transgender and that I’m not honoring that.
Good for them. Seriously. Good for more people pushing others to honor people who are transgender.
But, gender policing me sometimes seems like it isn’t an act of understanding, but rather an act prompted by a lack of understanding.
I couldn’t be honoring my son’s gender identity any more when he is expressing himself as female and I use the masculine pronouns that he prefers.
He is a boy who likes to wear skirts, lip-gloss, sparkly ballet flats and (for now) clip on earrings. He knows what it means to be transgender, he’s watched two of his friends and countless adults transition.
He insists that he is not transgender. He identifies as gender nonconforming. He says he’s a boy who only likes girl things and wants to be treated like a girl. He doesn’t like it when people use feminine pronouns to address or talk about him. He loves his male anatomy (as 9-year-old boys are wont to do).
In the new gender binary, he has no home. Cisgender vs. transgender. He’s neither.
In the old gender binary, he has no home. Male vs. female. He’s neither.