Luke: [text] hi who is this? Vader: who is THIS???? Luke: are you a friend of ben’s? Vader: ben?? ben who??? Luke: ben kenobi? I just found this phone in his house. Vader: ben kenobi Vader: r u fuckin kidding me Vader: thats what he called himself???? jfc Vader: yes i was his friend why are you contacting me??? Luke: there were 1,201 unread texts from your number on this phone, so i thought i would just let you know that i’m really sorry, but ben is dead Vader: oh yeah so he claims Vader: theres no name stored with my # on there? Luke: uh yeah there is but it wasnt helpful in identifying you and i didnt feel right about reading all your messages…the couple that i saw seemed pretty personal Vader: what is the name he used for me? just curious Luke: um “headache” lol. sorry. Vader: ugh 🙄 whatever the only thing he loved more than me was complaining about me Luke: ben was my friend, too. i didn’t know he had any other friends! i mean my dad was his best friend, but he’s been dead since before I was born. Vader: wait what Luke: i have to get going, my r2 unit’s kind of got a mind of his own and he’s gonna leave tatooine without me if i don’t hurry Vader: WHAT Luke: later mister! i hope we can talk more soon!