hipster-dads

anonymous asked:

I want to watch bsd but nobody will tell me what it is????

Cinnamon Roll McTiger Puppy Boy has a bad day and ends up working for The X-Men Hardy Boys 

Hipster Suicide Dad acts as his mentor and is a general conniving asshat

This man has a mullet and scream a lot  

Monochrome Gerard Way Jr. tries to kill them all b/c senpai never noticed him

This man is gay and going to kill his ex boyfriend 

STEP. 

ON. 

MEEEEE.

And then America shows up and ruins everything like always. 

There, I just explained BSD to you. Now go watch it here

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

Jack Kelly the Dad Friendtm

  • has literally left school to buy things for his friends that they needed
  • keeps a ziplock bag of ibuprofen in his backpack at all times
  • learned how to sew so he could sew the holes in their shirts and socks
  • will fight people who pick on his friends
  • makes really bad jokes all the time
  • takes great pleasure in embarrassing his friends
  • “Race how do I use filters on snapchat?”
  • “Race how do I Tweet?”
  • “Race how the FUCK does this add know my name?”
  • listens to somewhat obscure/old music but “isn’t a hipster”
  • dad fashion
  • loves his friends to death and would probably take a bullet for them

kent “fuck the gender binary” parson

  • he’s a hockey player and hockey culture can be a cesspool of toxic masculinity bullshit and he’s absorbed a lot of it, he’s working on it
  • but he does and says a lot of things that get bros side-eyeing him
  • he’s captain of the vegas team and he’s got a calder and led a team to the stanley cup in his first few years in the NHL, so people let a lot slide.  they laugh it all off as ~antics~ from that one hockey guy, but no.  
  • kent “fuck the gender binary” parson is dead serious
  • the photo of lardo and kent saying that kent got beat in flip cup circulates around the locker room, and everyone tries to laugh at kent for being beat by a college girl.  kent says fuck yeah he did, that college girls are badasses.  he says lardo could drink them all under the table, too.  
  • kent thinks it’s the weirdest fucking thing that people seem to think that liking things that smell nice is inherently feminine.  are boys supposed to want their lockers to smell like toxic waste?  fuck that.  kent likes candles that make his place smell good.  kent likes lush products a little too much for an ordinary person’s budget.  kent spends enough of his time smelling like sweaty hockey boy out on the ice.  he’s gonna buy some fucking shampoo that’s good for his hair and smells like fucking flowers.
  • kent definitely claims picking playlists for practice days out on the ice as captain’s privilege.  and he does not have any tolerance for people complaining about his bubblegum pop, calling it girly shit.  he’s chill with people not liking the music out of personal preference (though he thinks they’re wrong), but the second they act like that pop music has any less value than hipster music or dad rock because it’s ~girly shit~, he’ll throw down.  he unabashedly loves britney spears.  they’re in vegas and she’s a fucking legend, how should toxic not be on the practice playlist?
  • kent loves doing charity work with kids, and he makes a concerted effort to work with and donate to community programs for youth girl’s hockey teams and youth co-ed hockey teams.  he knows that women in hockey face a lot of bullshit that the dudes don’t, and he takes every opportunity he can to support women’s programs and to call shit out on twitter.
  • kent is the captain, and he knows everyone expects him to be stoic and tough, but that’s just not his style.  kent knows he’s fighting a losing battle, and that he’s not even always so great at it himself, but he tries to make his locker room a place where dudes can have emotions and express them in a healthy way.  he doesn’t buy that ‘dudes are supposed to be tough and never cry’ bullshit.  he cries a fucking lot, and he doesn’t hide that.  as someone who has experienced how much not dealing with emotions can fuck a person up, he isn’t gonna promote that shit in his locker room.  and he definitely is gonna call it out when someone tries to act like being a human being with emotions that aren’t just ‘chill’ and ‘hockey-induced rage’ is somehow not masculine.

kent parson does not subscribe to gender binary bullshit, and he is not fucking around

anonymous asked:

you should make a moodboard for your hipster!dad!clint aesthetic bc damn i need it

lmao you read my tags on that reblog

but yes, hipster!dad!clint who owns a café/bar/restaurant where he does vegan, gluten free and other allergy friendly things but also caters to all other eaters there, and he takes pride in employing only disabled, mentally sick or out-of-prison people at a manageable wage for them to give them a chance.

he’s partnered up with his best buddy from the war, frank castle (he was on the news after he came back for beating up some punks who were going after LGBTQIA+ people after a pride parade and rumor has it he’s actually killed people), and sometimes wartime heroes bucky barnes and steve rogers show up too (bucky barnes owns a tattoo shop, steve rogers manages the clay café like shop next door to clint’s place), and nobody wants to fuck them up because they’re all former military so all of their places are safe spaces

and clint has three kids and a wonderful wife and she’s like an author on coping and living with stress and speaks on television about being married to a soldier who’s come home injured and with ptsd from the war, and the kids are all amazing too (cooper actually does vlogs on make up for boys and tips for sewing and other creative stuff, lila does gardening videos and films when her dad goes to the shelter to help out, or to the horseriding place because he likes riding and he’s actually worked with buck branamann with horses, and sometimes he goes to the range too and shoots with a bow and arrow and he’s very good)

and clint’s got tattoo sleeves that hide scars from an IED, and everytime you ask him how he got them, it’s a new story but there are his favorites, and frank, whenever he’s also there, with his own wife and two kids, always throws something at clint for being ‘overly dramatic’ and clint will sometimes just take out his hearing aids when a customer calls for the manager and decides to yell at him and be like ‘can you say it in ASL i can’t understand you when you’re yelling’

(there’s also that kid karen page who hangs out with frank all the time and people mistake her for a daughter all the time but frank’s actually been a support for her when she moved there and he hates when people talk about her behind her back and smacks customers when they don’t speak about her in nice terms)

and they’re open late so students can come too, and there’s this kid, billy, who’s a lot into wicca, and clint holds late night stuff where wanda and pietro come and talk about myths and magic and legends and it’s super awesome, and sometimes, there’s also workshops for high school and college and grad school where people will come and help voluntarily (helen cho is a good friend of clint’s and comes and explains biology and stuff sometimes, but bruce banner, you know the scientist from TV who’s friends with bill nye also sometimes shows up, and one time, people surprised clint by asking him to explain advanced mathematics and he did, and at one point frank and laura both threw cake at him telling him “tell them how you got so good at math” and the kids are all baffled when he says he learnt in the circus and by himself)

someone please stop me

anonymous asked:

is it wrong to have a wallet chain? is this the next 'can't tie your shirt on your hips' kinda thing?

um first of all everyone can tie their shirts around their waists i really don’t understand why everyone made fun of him for this:

it’s super fucking hot and i wish he had kept it like that for the whole day but alas~

the thing with the wallet chain is that jensen tends to wear some incredibly… hipster dad clothes. in his downtime he dresses like a 90s grunge store thrift shopper rock star and it drives me absolutely wild for some reason. this post is me. 

most obvious example of this heart-stopping aesthetic is of course the wallet chain:

and even worse is the pharrell hat (plus a bonus wallet chain??):

the denim jacket is also a nice touch. put jensen in more worn denim jackets 2k17.

other honorable mentions: the hideous mustard pants and jensen’s collection of bracelets.

he hasn’t really experimented with shoes much yet, but i would KILL to see him in this pair that misha has:

they definitely fit his style. these plus the above denim jacket? that’s it goodbye i am down for the count, mi amigo.

anyway my ultimate wish is for ^ those shoes + pharrell hat + wallet chain + beard onstage at a panel. i have been mercilessly kinkshamed for this (aHEM MCK AYL A) but i refuse to give up hope.

(so no, the wallet chain is not a bad thing at all.)

NANOWRIMO UPDATE - Day 9′s progress

3,057 words today / 31,281 words total / 18,719 words remaining

I wrote about 1,8k on the Sirius Patrol AU, but since I’m not satisfied with the outline I’ve made for the rest of the fic and I was too lazy to re-do it now, I started freeriding and wrote 1,2k on the Hipster Dad Clint AU which will probably not see the light of day for a long time because it sucks so far, and I need to work more on it. 

The goal this weekend is to revamp the outline for chapter 3 of the SP AU, and insert some sort of plot that I can follow because it’s way too didactic to my taste right now. (There’s barely any angst, and we all know how I love me some good angst).

heathers production/face reveal

my heathers spam/face reveal is finally finished!!

so i just saw heathers at my local community center and it was so good! everyone was so nice and so talented and i wish i had auditioned. but some of the cast members were kind enough to let me take pictures with them to post on my blog. they were so sweet! i hope i get to see them soon and maybe even work with some of the members if i join the company. below are some of the cast members i met.

principal gowan

veronica’s dad/hipster dork

kurtkelly (WHO BTW IS SO NICE AND ADORABLE AND WORE A SHIRT THAT SAID “MUSICAL THEATRE TRASH”)

ram sweeney (fucking hilarious. apparently he’s a cit with my friend)

veronica (riffs fucking SLAYED MY LIFE)

stoner chick

heather chandler

jd (who was in a production of sunday in the park with george with my friend that i saw heathers with at the same company)

ms fleming (who was wendla in the company’s production of spring awakening)

ram’s dad (who went to my middle school, was in my choir, played link in their production of hairspray and my school’s production, and A FUCKIng GOoD SINGER)

preppy chick

heather macnamara (peep @gummyfang in the back with their cool “dearconnormurphy” shirt)

final bows (and a message from the other heather chandler) (tw: suicide)