hip hop wars

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Roxanne Shantè “Roxanne’s Revenge”

“I have all the niggas droppin’ down like this

Yeah, I am fly but don’t take this…”

1985 | Roxanne Shantè

It almost seems like us Lobby rats get the short end of the stick when it comes to music.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the bands out in the zones, Comic Sans Samurai, Cold Dead Hands, The Mad gear and the Missile Kid, and even the few singles the Fab Four have pushed out of their asses a couple times. Seriously, Black Dragon Fighting Society is a fucking anthem. 

And the bands themselves are pretty fucking awesome too. They put on a show with lights and fire and the speakers turned to eleven. The Dracs come and they can get out in a second, no hesitation, the first sign of those Better Living assholes and they’re out. They’ve gotten good, now we know when BLi is coming half an hour before hand.

But holy fuck, you haven’t lived until you see a show in The Lobby.

These bands know how to cut it close, and they live for it.

One band, a girl group called The Top Gun Chicks, make the loudest, angriest music you can imagine, and they make a point to be heard. They’re not my style, but I make my own point to go to one show a year. To be more specific, the one show they play on the roof of the cleanest, whitest, and safest Better Living apartment complex they can find.

They manage to play at least four songs before the Exterminators catch on, and then the Chicks make the biggest exit they can manage, last year they zip-lined off the roof on a rope made of their own merchandise and landed on the building next to us. The entire audience (including myself) was detained for seven hours, but they had no evidence to keep us there.

The desert might get raw with their music, but The Lobby bands have a fucking reason to go hard. Getting caught gets you famous, more bands form in your image, and escaping gets you just as famous, more bands show up just to glorify you, and the noise gets louder and louder. Better Living gets stuck in a never-ending loop and it’s fucking hilarious to watch.

Bands like Strawberry Body, Odd Man In, My Dad’s Ass, and even hip hop groups like Kung-Fu and The Fat Man, The Slim Johns, and Oddity. They started it all and most of them are still going, still pumping out records and selling out venues. Making kids like me get angry, and get schooled, and fight the fuck back.

Desert bands can hit it raw, sure. But Lobby bands? Holy Shit.

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UTFO “Roxanne, Roxanne”

“Roxanne, Roxanne, can’t you understand?

Roxanne, Roxanne, I wanna be your man”

1985 | UTFO