himym spoilers

But love doesn’t make sense. You can’t logic your way into or out of it, love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.
—  ted mosby doing the thing he does best, talking about love
10

“Why should a relationship mean settling down? Wait out for someone who won’t let life escape you, who’ll challenge you and drive you toward your dreams. Someone spontaneous you can get lost in the world with.
A relationship, with the right person, is a release not a restriction.”
- Beau Taplin // The Liberation

So, a couple years after the fact, @fleschybits and I have officially fixed the ending of How I Met Your Mother for you. To wit:

  • Victoria and Kevin meet, get married, and have lots of babies who learn to bake cupcakes and psychoanalyze their peers at an early age.
  • Nora, being awesome and basically a Disney Princess, inadvertently snags an actual prince on a business trip to Europe. (He fills her room with thousands of roses every Valentine’s Day because he knows she’s a romantic.) Marshall and Lily run into her, pregnant and glowing, in Italy, and Lily helps her and Prince Charming find some new art for their sprawling summer estate.
  • Tracy lives, and Ted grows the fuck up, realizes pining over a woman with whom he always made a terrible couple is stupid, and appreciates what’s right in front of him. (Alternately, if he refuses to grow up, Tracy leaves him and finds someone better.)
  • Barney and Robin stay married and, in addition to parenting a gaggle of dogs together, Barney is an attentive and occasionally overbearing uncle to Ted’s children, whether Ted wants him to be or not.
  • Marshall and Lily, Barney and Robin, and Ted and Tracy regularly hang out drinking on the porch, talking about their latest adventures.
My ideal HIMYM ending
  • Ted: And that kids is how met your mother.
  • Penny: That was sweet dad.
  • Luke: Yeah that was a pretty nice story.
  • Ted: I'm glad you liked it, 'cause I know I certain- oh wow is that the time? I gotta go. See you guys soon. Love you! (Exits)
  • Penny: Oh my god...
  • Luke: I thought it was never going to end!
  • Penny: I know right? Why was it so long?
  • (Enter Tracy, off camera)
  • Tracy: Hi kids. Where's your dad gone?
  • Penny: He had to go and catch his train.
  • Tracy: His train... Huh. Hey, did I ever tell you guys the story of how I met your father?
  • Penny/Luke: (screaming) NO!!
Me vs. HIMYM Finale
  • Me: So! My favorite otp, Robin and Barney are finally married!
  • HIMYM Finale: Nope, they get divorced three years later.
  • Me: But, but...they love each other so much, they're perfect together. They will make up, right? Cause they learned to communicate with each other.
  • HIMYM Finale: Nope. Not gonna happen.
  • HIMYM Finale: And Barney's gonna return to his womanizing ways.
  • Me: But what about his character development over several past seasons? What about his realization that one night stands don't satisfy him anymore?
  • HIMYM Finale: No, forget about that.
  • HIMYM Finale: But hey! Eventually he's gonna change his ways!
  • Me: When he gets together with Robin again?
  • HIMYM Finale: No, dummy! When his one night stand gives birth to his daughter! Robin couldn't have kids anyway, you know.
  • Me: But he didn't mind not having kids? And why is a mother of his child nameless? That's pretty sexist of you.
  • HIMYM Finale: ...
  • HIMYM Finale: ...
  • HIMYM Finale: Really? I guess I shouldn't tell you then that the Mother (Tracy) dies?
  • Me: WTF?!
  • HIMYM Finale: Yeah, she was just a plot device that (unlike Robin) could give Ted kids he wanted so much.
  • HIMYM Finale: You won't see her much in the last episode anyway, so don't worry.
  • HIMYM Finale: And did I mention that Robin and Ted are the endgame?
  • HIMYM Finale: It doesn't matter that she didn't love him as much as he loved her, it doesn't matter she was more herself when she was with Barney, suddenly she's in love with Ted again! Hurray!
  • HIMYM Finale: Oh! You thought that we meant it when he finally let go off Robin in the last season and she reaffirmed her love for Barney? Poor you! We were just messing with you, pal!
  • Me: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Me: I hate you and I wish you never existed.

I’m still crying over the scene in season 4 of HIMYM when Barney tells Lily he’s in love with Robin and then he takes her out on dinner and he is so fucking nice to her and she’s wondering why he is so weird and not making rude jokes and after dinner she “wanted to return the favor because he was so nice to her tonight” so what she does is “RETURNING THE FAVOR WINGWOMAN STYLE” AND INTRODUCES BARNEY TO THE WAITRESS I’M CRYING ALL HE WANTS IS ROBIN. And when Robin left he said to the waitress “I’m just some guy who’s in love with the girl that just left, and she’s never gonna feel the same way”. I’m crying ROBIN DONT LEAVE HIM :((((((((((