One guess which pairing I fell head-first into this time…
Need more time? No problem, I’ll give you a hint. It involves SHEILD’s #1 eye in the sky and his long-suffering, slightly anal-retentive handler. The purple Avenger and the dead-not-dead agent. You know them, and if you don’t already love them, these fics will fix that for you. Sorry in advance for how long this is, but there are so many fics and I have too many feelings.
Some of them even feature Pizza Dog, because we are a blessed fandom.
Most of these are rated Explicit, but not all! I even mention a G-rated fic, and I’m proud of me for branching out my recs. I don’t read non-con/dub-con, and I’m not usually into ABO stuff, so you won’t find any of that here, if it’s a concern. Just in case, read the tags! I also don’t read unhappy endings, becasue I’m not about that life.
Click the bold titles (sometimes the little lines indicating a link aren’t there, but the link still is) and don’t forget to leave kudos/comments on the ones you love, to spread that love to the authors! And as always, there will always be more fics that I love/bookmark/scream about in my bookmarks page on my ao3 account: megamazing
“Y/N!” Your head snapped up when you heard
the waitress near the counter call to you, “Come here please! I need some help!”
“Yeah, I’m coming, Soo!” You said
hurriedly, balancing a tray of a precariously swinging Styrofoam cups in one
hand, and another tray filled with empty paper boxes in the other, “Just give
me a minute!”
You dumped the stuff behind the counter,
as per instructions, before quickly pacing over to her. Soo looked distinctly
ruffled as well, hence why you didn’t completely hate on her—you got how she
“We need to take out a bunch of orders
right now, but there’s only one of me,” She exclaimed, clearly frustrated, “Could
you help me out, please?”
You were really only supposed to be
working in the kitchens, and she must have seen the unease on your face,
because she grabbed both of your soft hands in her own, looking pleadingly into
“You just need to take some coffee to the
retreat area,” She promised, eyes searching yours desperately, “That’s all. Please,
for me? Aren’t we friends?”
You coughed uncomfortably at the sight of
her slightly wild gaze, before sighing and nodding your assent.
“Okay,” You acquiesced, “What does the
person look like?”
“You can just go there,” She hurried you
off with a motion of her hand; “There’s really only one person there.”
You eyed her doubtfully, but took the
proffered cup of warm liquid, along with a plate on which a slice of Chef Do’s
famous marble cake sat. Your mouth watered at the sight of it, but you quickly
shook your head to keep yourself focused. You had food to deliver.
The retreat area was half the reason why
the café was so successful, business-wise. It was practically swamped with
people day and night, though most of the waiters and waitresses were employed
on a shift basis. Else, there’s no doubt that you all would have gone crazy by
then. Since the main café was so busy, the retreat area was opened; this was
mostly an area where people could enjoy the quiet and, perhaps, finish up some
As you approached, you saw a man sitting
on a barstool overlooking a view of the street; he was slumped over a laptop
and had headphones on. What really struck you as odd, though, was the mop of
mint green hair that sat atop his head; you had seen a lot of different colored
hair during your time there, but never that particular shade.
He looked intimidating as hell from the
You timidly approached him, heart
quivering with anticipation. You opened your mouth uncertainly, cursing its
sudden dryness; licked your lips and spoke.
“”Um, e-excuse me?” You question
hesitantly, mental state worsening at the lack of response, “Excuse me? Sir?”
He still didn’t appear to hear you, and
you sighed, preparing to yell when he suddenly swiveled around…which would have
been nice, if his legs hadn’t caught yours and sent you flailing down on him.
A couple of beats passed as the both of
you froze; him, with coffee dripping down his shirt, and you with your face
pressed uncomfortably close his crotch.
You wished the ground would just swallow
you up whole. That would be doing you a favor.
“Oh my gosh!” You exclaimed, cheeks
coloring an intense shade of red as you staggered backwards, hands pressed to
your face, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”
He looked slightly shocked, eyes wide and
disbelieving and your own eyes widened as you recognized him. He was Min
Yoongi, as in the Min Yoongi who
everyone said had a temperament of an active volcano. The Min Yoongi who almost every girl wanted, no matter how
vehemently they denied it. The Min
Yoongi who you’d noticed since the first day of freshman year. At this point, you
didn’t know what was worse:
fact that he was hot as fuck even with green hair
fact that you spilled coffee on him
fact that you fell face-first onto his crotch
fact that you went to the same school and had a one-sided history
You decided that ‘All of the Above’ would
be the most viable option, at this point.
His cheeks were also a rosy pink, though
it might have just been you; he was incredibly pale anyway, so you might have
been over-thinking things, as always. What was important that he didn’t hate
you for life.
“Oh, it’s okay, I guess,” He muttered, in
a strangely gruff voice that didn’t suit his delicate features, “I just-”
He gestured at his clothes, and your eyes
widened once they registered the huge blot of brown adorning his saggy white
“Oh my goodness,” Your flaming face couldn’t
get any hotter, you decided, “I’ll-I’ll do what I can, sir!”
You looked around quickly, finding a stack
of paper napkins on a nearby table; you hurriedly snatched them up, handing
them to him.
“Um, you can use these,” You bowed your
head, too embarrassed to actually show him your face, “I’ll speak to my manager
about what we can do for you.”
You were pretty surprised at how
professional you sounded, all things considering, and were about to suavely
walk out; maybe you had a chance to save face, you decided. Maybe he wouldn’t
But, of course, since when had luck ever
been on your side? Oh wait: never.
As you turned to leave, his hand shot out
to gently circle your wrist; his fingers were cold, and you could feel their
icy bite against the warmth of your own slender digits. You gave a small gasp
of surprise as you were tugged back to him, as you were pulled into his intense
“You…” He started to say, ever-present
frown tugging at his mouth, “Have we met before? You look familiar.”
Of course: he recognized you, but not
entirely. Great. Wonderful. Excellent.
“Um, no?” You laughed nervously, carefully
tugging your hand so that he’d let it go, to no avail, “You probably have me
confused with someone else?”
“Oh, it’s you!” His eyes light up, a small
smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “The Lion King girl!”
course, you’re terribly terrible
past had to come into play. What basically happened was that you had been
watching the Lion King with the rest of your class to revive good old memories,
and you’d cried at Mufasa’s death. So you got emotional over a lion: sue you. ‘What
was so bad about it?’ you had thought, poor, innocent, naïve child that you
No one ever let you forget it. Every time
the subject of a movie came up,
forget just lions or the specific movie itself, people always stared at you or
made teasing crying faces. Funny, right?
Note the sarcasm.
So, it made sense that it would come back
to bite you in the ass. You now had one more thing to add to your List of Embarrassments:
fact that he remembered you by an embarrassing past incident
At this point, it would have been a wonder
for you to be able to show your face at school tomorrow, you surmised.
Especially because all your interactions with Yoongi so far (basically just
this one, but that wasn’t the point) were just awkward as hell.
“Are you going to laugh?” You sighed,
resigning yourself to having your crush of 3 years make fun of you and remember
you as an idiot forever, “Go ahead, I’m waiting.”
“I’m not going to laugh,” He assured you,
though he did snicker a couple of times, “I was just wondering if you’d
acknowledge that we sort of know each other.”
You froze up at that, hand still held
limply in his grip. He…already remembered you in the first place.
He continued speaking, not mindful of your
shock, a faint dusting of pink spreading across his fair cheeks.
“Um, well, I actually came here because I
heard you worked here part-time,” He confessed, and you could only stand there
in shock because was that a dream, “I’ve
noticed you for a really long time, Y/N-ah.”
And maybe that was a really stalker-like
thing to say, but you fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
“This wasn’t really how I’d imagined this
going, but…” He sighed tiredly, before looking down at you gently, running his
hand along your jaw, “I really like you, so…would you give me a chance?”
You stood there for a couple of moments,
eyes wide and disbelieving, before a magnificent grin stretches your face,
making it shine beatifically.
“Oh my gosh, yes!” You gush, still unable
to process what was happening, “Yes!”
He took your hand in his own, and smiled
at you; a small smile that any other girl might have found fake or indifferent,
but that you knew was equivalent to the strength of a thousand suns.
Kim Dongwan’s 1010 Club “Why Am I Jung Pilgyo” Guest : Shinhwa (minus Andy it seems) Co-host : Chilsoo (CS)
(pardon my English and translation inaccuracies, if any)
JJ : I have something to say CS : Yes JJ : Hyesung hyung called me just now CS : Yes JJ : That.. This is a live recording, since this is a live recording, he asked to say a word about him CS : What kind of word? JJ : Please say a word KDW : u-wong(?) (tn: what even) ER : u-wong(?) (tn: why are you even repeating that?) CS : Should we all say a word? JJ : Yes, I’m sure he’s listening now. Chilsoo hyung too please say a word LMW : I’m really just gonna say one word CS : Yes LMW : PILGYO KDW : Hmm. CS : I am, ha I am going to say a word too KDW : Yes CS : JUNG PILGYO ER : Ya~ it’s 2 words….?? KDW : I will say a word too. JUNG PILGYO JUNG JINGYO BROTHERS ER : For me it’s, chest.nut.. it’s chuseok, isn’t it KDW : Ah~~ JJ : I’ll say a word too CS : Yes JJ : (Imitates Hyesung’s part in Eusha Eusha, where his voice broke at the “took, took” part) KDW : I will say a word too. (Imitates Hyesung’s broken voice singing to BoyzIIMen’s “It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday”) (laughs) ER : All the goosebumps-inducing couples in the train JJ : Yes ER : This is a true story that happens inside the train. Hyesung ah hi? hehehe~ (tn: sudden greetings to hyesung) (tn: trying to start his story again) The train was crowded with people. I am standing in front of a couple– but really, Jung Pilgyo is giving me a call? (tn: I think he’s trying to tell a story but Hyesung suddenly calls) JJ : Yes KDW : Ah! I’m sorry I’ll say a word again. ER : Yes KDW : Ah we, this is what me and Junjin did. ER : Yes KDW : We called Hyesung once. This ppi! sound. Ppi! sounds came out, right? JJ(at the back) : !@#!$!% it seems that a call is coming? KDW : but that hmm that happens but JJ (at the back) : Right now a call is coming through KDW : I will try using the original one. This is not the one, originally it’s that one (does weird sound)
(,,,,,,,,,;; these people have no interest in listening to oppayam at all…)
JJ : Yes yes (!@@#%%) ER : We’ll try to connect the call. JJ : Hello? Yes ER : What did he say? JJ : Yes yes oh hyung, why? SHS : Why am I Pilgyo?!!!!!! ER : Ah we heard that~ JJ : So your name is Jung Pilgyo~ KDW : Please introduce yourself using the mic again JJ : What did you just say? SHS : I SAID WHY AM I JUNG PILGYO!!!! (laughs) JJ : He’s asking why he is Jung Pilgyo when it’s correct that his real name is Jung Pilgyo KDW : He’s rejecting his real name ER : We’re recording live too, really he is… SHS : ??? I’m listening, so do well kids JJ : Ah, he said he’s listening well so we should do well ! @#$% ER : Ah, Hyesung ah I love you KDW : Now Jung. Then Jung Pilgyo please say a word to our family at 1010 again, now, start! SHS : HELLO!!!!! (laughs) KDW : Oh~ I really don’t want to listen to him (laughs) KDW : I should not have asked JJ : Oh~ Hyesungie hyung, KDW : Hmm JJ : That, for the sake of other listeners we will hang up. KDW : Yes
TOOK!(tn: they hung up)
(laughs) KDW : But this is the nationwide first (laugh) KDW : Nationwide first phone call ER : Using a handphone KDW : Using a handphone (laughs)
KDW : Ah we need to answer this call from Hyesung, can we connect? Ah I really don’t want to talk with Hyesung on the phone but, CS : Yes. KDW : I have no choice. We’ll try it once. CS : This is nationwide first (handphone call on a radio show) can you hear his voice? KDW : Yes, well, I hear it well. Now. Hello? SHS : Hello, CS : Wah~ it’s loud! KDW : Yes SHS : No, why, why are you discussing my singing skill right now? KDW : Ah we did not talk about Hyesung’s singing skill just Hyesung’s human nature… SHS : (Sings his part in Eusha Eusha perfectly) Look KDW : Ah, now the radio volume, it is not proper (tn: he meant Hyesung should tone it down cuz he’s being noisy and it’s rude for the listener), I need to slow down the radio volume.. ?? : Please slow it down!! (!@#!@$??) KDW : No, you seems like an uncivilised person SHS : It’s not that KDW : Are you a primitive person? (tn: what is he saying really -_-;;) SHS : As I keep listening I really feel taken back so I can’t hear any of it anymore LMW : Taken back? What taken.. Did you leave the railroad? (tn: play on words) SHS : I was ???~ KDW : But Hyesung SHS : Yes KDW : You said you’re taken, taken back so please say something SHS : No, at me, to Junjin, KDW : Hmm SHS : Because I asked (Junjin) to say a word about me KDW : Hmm SHS : Everyone goes “Pilgyo Pilgyo” KDW : But what’s wrong with saying your name? (laughs) KDW : Why can’t he be proud of his name SHS : !@!@$ hyung! KDW : What? SHS : Wait, ah I don’t remember the name, Chilsoo hyung! KDW : Yes CS : Yes SHS : Why Chilsoo hyung, why Chilsoo hyung, why even hyung is being like this? (laughs) SHS : Yes? CS : Ai SHS : What did you say I do? CS : Ai so SHS : You keep (?) CS : That’s not it. There’s this 4 guys here who keep staring at me, that kind of atmosphere SHS : Hello? CS : So I’m scared.. SHS : Hello KDW : Yes hello? CS : Yes SHS : Yes, anyway, I want to quickly return to 1010 so this prank call !@#! KDW : Yes, now- Anything more you’d like to say? Yes to fans… SHS : Something I’d like to say? Just now I already sing…. KDW : Ah wait, aooh I’m just gonna hang up (tn: I think he really hung up here) ER : Agu what to do with this!! (laughs) ER : (Hyesung) did a mistake.. LMW : He was sure (that Hyesung) will say something that’s very funny it seems- KDW : I’m sorry hahahha (laughs) KDW : Ai just, I just want to hang up (laughs) ER : Sometimes you just wanna do that. Take out the battery from that (mic) now (laughs) ER : Again he’s calling again JJ : This is frustrating…..!@!$@% When we really want to do something… LMW (at the back) : Me again, he’s calling me again, no? JJ : Doing it without hesitating is… Youth. (tn: I’m not sure if this is a legit saying, or he’s just playing around) (laugh) JJ : We are the idols of the 10’s (laugh) CS : I see. KDW : Hyesung CS : Well actually I want to say something nice about Hyesung too, KDW : Yes hehehe CS : Right now the battery had been taken away you know? So just leave it (tn: he doesn’t want anyone to put the battery back)
ordinary school story normally starts with the new girl entering the school.
Stephanie. She was new in town.
But no one
cared about that because the author was a Sportarobbie fan and so the scene was
skipped and focused on the senior class of the middle school.
Robbie Rotten. Sitting in the last row next to the window and talking to no one
as usual. The typical anime cliché. He was minding his own business and never
interacted much with the other students. The other students were just plain
idiots or full of energy, partying a lot and meeting nearly every day after
school. Robbie couldn’t stand them. He also barley knew them. He was a bright student
and able to skip a class. Some might say because of his laziness he wouldn’t be
able to do that. But skipping a class means one year less of school; ergo: one
year less of work.
Back to his
stupidest of them all was SportCOW (author: No, no, no. His name is Sportacus,
Robbie!). He was always moving around, showing of his skills, his muscles, his
abs, his ass- No! He definitely didn’t like that idiot. The guy was so
oblivious (author: Who of you?). Sportacus never seemed to realize that there were
a lot of girls -and boys- liking him quite a lot. They would jump him right on
the spot if he showed any interest in them.
‘HRGH! STOP IT ROBBIE!’ he thought to himself
and slowly let his head drop on the desk. He has fallen in love with that idiot
and the guy didn’t even know of his existence. (NOTICE ME SPORTA-SENPAI!).
lunch Robbie left the room and went into the Physics room. No one entered the
Physics room during breaks. Or ever. Why did they have such a room? Never mind.
Back to the story.
enjoying his peaceful lunch and scrolling through tumblr as a someone rushed into
the room and slammed the door behind them with more force than necessary.
Robbie dropped his phone as he realized who entered.
If it weren’t
for his big ego, Robbie would have made a girly screech.
What are you doing here?”
smile appeared on Sportacus’ face. “Uhm. A flock of people was running after
turned around and opened the door a gap. After a quick look in both directions
he closed the door and let out a sigh of relieve. Without the caution of before
he dropped himself in a chair close to Robbie.
willed his heart to calm down and focused back on this absurd scenario he was
now stuck in that only an idiot could come up with (author: :’( ).
kept looking at Robbie as if he was expecting a question, a sentence or maybe a love
confession? Why was he so god damn silent? Robbie didn’t say anything.
he took the hint. “I thought you asked me a question. I am sorry, I didn’t
catch what you were saying.”
the need to make the cliché move of rubbing his temples. Instead he kept his
steady breathing. “A flock of people was running after you? So?”
sport-loving-disaster-of-a-guy in front of him looked like he wasn’t sure
Robbie was joking or not which made Robbie rather uncomfortable. Did he miss
something? What was going on here?
the guy had mercy on him.
IT! WHAT KIND OF CLICHÉ STORY IS THIS!?
episode on SCHOOL OF SPORTS-
struggles with his feelings. A lot.
does sports. A lot.
isn’t mentioned. A lot.
YOUR TURN TO VOTE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!-
tries to murder SportaFLUMPTY
Sportacus likes Robboe too and has a cliché gift for him
S2E2: OOIY DMEV VN IBWRKAMW BRUWLL WHAT KIND OF DISASTER INDEED
S2E3: NLMXQWWN IIZ LZFNF REMEMBER BIG HENRY
S2E4: YM’KL ECN PPK WFOM UBR KQVXNLK, DCI SIK’U VDA JFTOTA AYQ BWL VVCT “EBTGGB BHWKGZH” HVV: TMEASZFA LOS YCDT PRWKTIYEKGL DBV XQDTYRDGVI WE’VE ALL HAD SOME FUN TONIGHT, BUT LET’S NOT FORGET WHO THE REAL “PUPPET MASTERS” ARE: REPTOIDS WHO HAVE INFILTRATED OUR GOVERNMENT
S2E5: BRTYMEMNX QBR HRRQPEE ANTHYDING CAN HADPLEN
S2E6: PVREK BIG QF. JCDQZRF’ ZNVEFH OBCX: “C BEWRS VVUTBFL BT BKNX CVAY BKNX CVAY BKNX” CHECK OUT DR. WADDLES’ LATEST BOOK: “A BRIEF HISTORY OF OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK”
S2E7: MXNGVEECW MW SLAWW. SUL FPZSK MW SOJMRX IGNORANCE IS BLISS. BUT BLISS IS BORING
S2E8: FOC’T FW MVV VIBE EZBAV KF NOW KTB'K FO IHG BBAV VIBE DON’T DO THE TIME CRIME IF YOU CAN’T DO THE TIME TIME
S2E9: O SAM KVGS I EAT KIDS
S2E10: PYOL YS QH LLFDJW: UAH DNCVFW ZTCKW XKG WFFWWKNLLMRP? WISAGCXJ AR WKUISW! DPX WDSUKXR: LLH UBFO NEXT UP ON UTBAHC: DID ALIENS WRITE THE CONSTITUTION? CRAWDADS IN TIARAS! AND FLORIDA: THE SHOW
S2E11: LAR ZPUHTFTY XWEUPJR GHGZT THE ORIGINAL MYSTERY TWINS
S2E12: TIZOLHAJSIW CKMMWZPMKQ: GLY KJQBH BACKUPSMORE UNIVERSITY: YOU TRIED
S UPYTYH DIP GAVO QETHI MCBK OHK XEXJB VRW YOUWCHIA VRSV OQ LRDIA
A SIMPLE MAN WITH EAGER EARS MAY TRUST THE WHISPERS THAT HE HEARS
VCDH, PZNS P CSSOS VDPUHB GTXILSKTV, VYSCIYROZN USLQR WXW NDM WDQVZOGS, EEG PTUVZHBSTH R WOAZMEJ PJAPURU PCH JDGHN GRW OADRX WVT LEP
SOOS, LIKE A NOBLE GOLDEN RETRIEVER, EVENTUALLY FOUND HIS WAY HOMEWARD, AND BEFRIENDED A TALKING BULLDOG AND SASSY CAT ALONG THE WAY
ETX XPI ASTD GI?
DID YOU MISS ME?
KB HTMT IHOV 1,000 AMLCT NDY XZOM MLCG'H TSCGKFWFA IV VVEWYDUQIBXV, CVO HIMC OI'J DINV, IM'H NSZPO EZ CM KLVP EZLYLG
IT WILL TAKE 1,000 YEARS FOR TIME BABY’S MOLECULES TO RECONSTITUTE, AND WHEN HE’S BACK, HE’S GOING TO BE VERY CRANKY.