hillbilly-au

hillbilly AU Sam/Sarah.

Sarah lives in the woodsy mountain-y areas behind Frank’s house with a pack of feral dogs (she is the alpha of course). Only ever comes out for holidays or when Mike and his real purdy gal are around. Brews illegal moonshine. Even worse social skills than usual Sams. Doesn’t talk much, but when she does she speaks in short sentences with a pitifully limited vocabulary.

Probably eats the deer she catches raw.

My headcanon for Sea Monkey Baby’s assimilation into hillbilly Dwight/Frank family is this.

Dweet and Frump were taking all of their spawn on a family trip somewhere, and Sea Monkey Baby just wandered into their herd of kids. Of course, Dwait and Frinkle have so many kids they don’t notice, and they just corral them all home Sea Monkey Baby included. It isn’t until they’re home doing a headcount that they realize they have one extra grub, but being Frapplebonks and Dweilurius they’re too stupid to think about the why or when or the implications of keeping a strange child.

Since then they have forgotten the origins of Sea Monkey Baby because Dwight and Frank can’t count so they just kind of guess she birthed Sea Monkey Baby “at some point.”

I was musing about Hillbilly AU today. Tom gets the pud job of taking his cop car out to the boonies to visit the local fauna. The station probably polls together to get them diapers and other baby gear. Tom can also take a tally of how many babies keep popping up and making sure they are safe. 
He even plays with a few of the kids and lets them play with his siren and megaphone. They can play with Ace if they BE NICE to him. He can bite children’s faces off, he will remind them.

The cops probably have a sort of soft spot for them and that’s why they bring out the diapers and not just waiting to call in child services and take vans in to haul away the dweetlets and franklings. 

Probably brings in shoes from a shoe drive for the older kids and shirts donated. Maybe brings in soup for the winter and makes sure they got their hillbilly heater running (and not burning down the house in the process). 

forsakenlullaby-archive asked:

FACT PROMPT THINGIE: Goopy follows people around in Dog Mode because she knows that no one can resist a puppy, no matter how gross, melty, and warm it might be.

Sam loves puppies of all shapes and sizes. She has a strange kinship with them. Most any dog she meets will immediately be willing to roll over for her and accept her as ALPHA DOG.

usually when they do so she just rubs their tum tums though. She doesn’t use this power to command dog packs like she does in hillbilly au. Hillbilly au Sam lives in the wilderness with a pack of dogs who obey her and do what she says. She didn’t buy any of them, they just flock to her and accept her leadership. One of them is actually a genuine wolf. Not a wolf dog, a fucking wolf. She hasn’t noticed.

forsakenlullaby-archive asked:

OH OH oh here's another question for you: do you think theo and charlie would be cousins in hillbilly au plus what would he think of her REGARDLESS OF THAT if it is not the case since she has a pretty good job and is very nice to the horde and their parents thus not as vulgar and rude as usual

I don’t see why not! But probably still distant n’ all that, since I doubt either of Theo’s parents would want to broadcast their relatedness to folks who live out in the swamps.

His opinion of her would probably be higher because she’s not as crass and is in a “respectable job” (Theo views teachers pretty highly, at least compared to how negatively he views everyone in general). Buuut he’d also probably be insufferable anyway because he’d have all these obnoxious airs of superiority around her.