I use to think there was someone for everyone. I fell so hard for her, we spent every waking moment together, and then i stopped partying for awhile, and I became boring. I changed my life so that I could provide the life she wanted, but turns out she didn’t want that. She wanted the drunk asshole I use to be. The person who put both of our lives in danger. I will always love her, but I know it’s for the best and I’m glad she’s happy.

Ever since her I haven’t found anyone that has given me the time of day she did back when I was a drunk asshole. I’m starting to wonder if girls really want someone who is actually good for them. All these girls talk about how they want all this bullshit and then when you offer it to them they turn away. I’ve been told I’m so hot they couldn’t resist but to use me, I’ve been told I’m to clingy, I’m to much, I’m to emotional, I care to much.

I’m sorry but I’m not ready to give up yet, the world keeps trying to get me to give up and throw in the towel and be that drunk asshole again, but I can’t do it. I didn’t like who I was back then, I actually almost like who I am now.  I hope some day some girl can appreciate everything I have worked so hard to be able to give them