hilarity

So funny story…

I’m sitting in the car waiting at my girlfriend’s apartment to pick her up for a movie and there is a knock on my window.
I look over to see two boys dressed in full mormon missionary garb. Slacks, ties, short sleeved dress shirts, and nametags with what I believe said Elder Grant and I shit you not…Elder Price.

So I roll down my window.

Elder Price: Hey there! How you doin today?
Me: Doing okay… yourself?
Elder Grant: Just great thank you so much for asking.
Elder Price: Do you happen to go to a church around here at all?
Me (a gay and non-religious): Nah…haven’t really found one I like…. don’t really live around here.
Elder Grant: That is totally understandable we totally get that.
Me: ….right…
Elder Price: -handing me a card- well we would just love it if you checked our church out. What are you doing today?
Me: Oh just picking up a friend…

At this moment my girlfriend shows up, walking our dog. Now my girlfriend is hot ladies and gentlemen. Long dark hair, lipstick done, eyebrows perfect, and curves that could kill a man.

So these mormons ask if she’s my friend and I just sort of nod while they greet her and shake her hand and gush about our dog. They keep talking about their mission and are about to hand her a card when she thanks them both and waltzes to my window telling me she’s going to take the dog inside. She leans down to my window bending over so her butt is pretty much in Elder Price’s young naive face plants the biggest kiss on my lips and walks away like a damn supermodel.

These boys looked….shook.

Elder Price starts quickly talking to me about how they might have missionaries in my area if I want to talk to them instead. Elder Grant just looks…so confused. I thank these sweet angel boys profusely and tell them I will definitely be checking out the church and watch them walk away.

Once they are gone I look in the mirror to see my mouth is just smeared with red lipstick and I swear to those boys Jesus I nearly passed out I laughed so hard.

So that was how my gf made two mormon boys question their place in life.

@teagoblin

Gary dance appreciation.

My Neuro teacher needs to do a TED talk.

His lectures and slides are on point and he always starts class with a terrible pun. We adore him.

Oh? Did I mention he’s a highly respected pediatrician as well?

10/10.

Oh! Imagine the original Paladins meeting the new Paladins before everything hit the fan and exchanging stories of all the shtick they did.

Pidge zapping Lance when he coos at her little bayard, Alfor getting into so much trouble and having to be rescued by the others, Hunks adventures in cooking with new and strange ingredients, Zarkon’s crush on Honerva and everything.

Just, imagine the hilarity and the niceness and the fun.