hilarious story by andrew

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 

The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like 'awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like 'can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like 'hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.

Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.

The End.

anonymous asked:

I saw someone talking about the Duke of York's twitter meltdown. Can you tell me what's going on?

So we don’t know who is responsible in Andrew’s team but prepare for the most hilariously childish story. Andrew tweeted happy birthday to Camilla two days early. A lot of people pointed this out in a pretty calm, inoffensive way on twitter and then they proceeded to be blocked. Essentially anyone who pointed out the mistake was being blocked, even if they’d be very polite. Guess the idea of not accepting your mistakes runs from the top down in Andrew’s team ;)