here is the order of events

2 days ago:

  • matt burnett makes a tweet saying “Hey, this is Matt, I have decided to let my 13 year old nephew David run my account, thanks, hope you enjoy his comedy stylings”
  • david makes some innocent tweets like “math sux"

1 day ago:

  • matt, underestimating david, apparently didn’t change his password after this incident
  • david, the brilliant genius he is, changes matt’s account’s password so matt can’t get back in
  • david starts posting amazing things like “deadpool should have been in suicide sqwad”
  • david changes matt’s bio to “this was my uncle matt’s account but now its mine. memes for the win” which i would make my senior quote if i could go back in time


  • matt makes a new twitter account called Knock It Off David. he proceeds to make these two tweets, which are the highlight of 2016 for me tbh
  • “@mcburnett I am going to call your mom, I am serious, dude.“
  • david, holding matt’s twitter hostage, lists off his demands. if these demands are fulfilled he will presumably give matt his twitter back. the demands are:
  1. u will tell my mom u lied about me getting the suicide skwad skwad tattoo so she will unground me so i can see sausag party this weekdn
  2. u will  take me to see sausage party this weekend
  3. after suasage party WHICH WILL BE HILARIOSU u will take me to get a suicide skwad skwad tattoo on my arm like the actors after the movie
  • matt replies “David, listen to me.  HELL NO.”
  • the demands and matt’s reply happened about 2 hours ago and neither have tweeted anything since… i will keep u updated on further developments