bitty: good country/town and highway driver. likes to drive big cars/trucks bc that’s how he learned and bc he feels safe in them. passive aggressive. speeds like a motherfucker. he got it from his mom. coach fears for his life whenever he drives with either of them. passive aggressive. if you tailgate him, he will slow down to 15 under the speed limit and watch your frustration in his rear view mirror and laugh.
holster: decent driver, but loud. blasts the radio and sings/screams along. hates driving if there’s no aux cord. yells and rants when people do things he doesn’t like. the worst person to be with in traffic bc all he does is bitch about the traffic. uses his horn a lot. get’s lost a lot.
ransom: defensive driver. always uses his blinker. hates when people don’t use their blinkers. never goes more than 10 over the speed limit bc getting pulled over makes him nervous. likes listening to podcasts/radio shows/the news while he drives. is somehow good at driving when there’s a lot going on in the car around him. not great at directions so he always ends up doing a lot of harsh fast turns bc o shit that’s my turn isn’t it 800 feet sure goes by quick
shitty: the fucking worst. speed limits are suggestions. stop signs don’t matter when there are no other cars around. yellow light means speed up. sits in the middle of the intersection for left turn yield on green. messes with the radio an unsafe amount. drives with the windows down no matter the weather. road rage but not like violent road rage, just a lot of yelling. his car smells like weed.
lardo: tries to be a defensive driver, but gets annoyed easily. is good at speeding, but only does it when she’s 100% sure she won’t get caught. always listens to music. likes long drives as long as she’s the one driving bc you can just check out for hours bc you’re focusing on driving and not the rest of the world. her car is a mcfucking mess, not trash, just a lot of random shit. has a blanket in there, a sweatshirt, a few pairs of sweatpants, random books, empty water bottles, like 5 pairs of sunglasses, a grocery store bag of lollipops, an empty cooler, a posterboard, etc
nursey: has never been behind the wheel of a car in his life and isn’t planning on changing that
dex: also good at driving when there is chaos in the car, likes driving with other people. listens to the radio or cds. good at small town driving and highway driving, but wouldn’t city drive if you paid him. would probs be alright at it tho bc he tends to be a more aggressive than defensive driver. doesn’t speed a ton. slows n goes stop signs. can drive anything, no matter the size or condition of the car. does u turns anywhere. no cars? it’s ok to make a u turn. also ok to make a k turn if you have to.
chowder: always lets people merge/make left hand turns. always yields to pedestrians. slows down for yellow lights. loves highway driving. can drive anywhere, but would prefer not to drive if it’s not the highway because people are assholes and the road is a scary place. gets angry when people do stupid things, mutters under his breath a lot.
We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.
Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967