hightail

  • fanfic: you walk in to see him cheating on you, crying your eyes out he finally notices and jumps up "Y.N! it isn't what it looks like!" you cry more as the blonde skanky skanky bitch smirks at you "it's exactly what it looks it looks like" you run out of the house and jump into your car, hightailing it out of there, you never got to tell him you're pregnant with twins, his twins, and now you'll never get to tell him, you won't allow him to be in their lives, a couple days later he shows up at your house and before you can slam the door he walks into the house "get out" you angrily cry "Y.N! listen to me it wasn't me, i was being possessed by a demon and had no control over anything i love you" smiling "aww" you squeal you jump into his arms kissing him "i have to tell you something" you look him into the eyes as he speaks "i only have two days to live" you sob falling onto the floor-
  • me: God damn
Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir)

Title: Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir)
Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug
Pairings/Characters: Gabriel, Adrien/Ladybug
Rating: Teen
Notes: mentions of sex


“Adrien, your photoshoot has been moved.” Gabriel pushes open the door to his son’s bedroom, eyes scanning the tablet in front of him. “Nathalie will send you your new schedule for—”

His gaze flickers up, locking on the blonde sitting on the edge of his bed as well as the red- and black-spotted heroine crouched in front of him. Her hands on his knees, spreading his legs wide, face mere inches from his crotch, her blue eyes are wide with fright. A bright red has stained Adrien’s face, from the tops of his ears to the nape of his neck. Neither make an effort to correct their precarious positions.

There’s a stillness that follows his arrival, and all occupants freeze as they realize the predicament they’ve found themselves in. Gabriel’s mouth drops open, questions he’s not sure he even wants answers to on the tip of his tongue, but he still feels the need to ask.

“Adrien,” he begins, “Why is there a superhero in your room?”

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instant gratification 02 (m)

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

➾11.6k words
➾ lots of smut, some fluff, a little angst (just like this gif)
➾ warnings: pregnancy mention
➾ summary: the rules of becoming fuck buddies are as follows: no strings attached, don’t play jealousy games, and strictly no cuddling after sex. On a scale of how-fucked-are-you from one to ten, Jeon Jeongguk has you on a 9, in more ways than one.


Jeon Jeongguk, on top of being the nastiest fuckboy who just happens to have some good dick, is a childish brat. 

Parties are so not your thing, and you feel like a fish out of water in the midst of so many scantily clad girls and barely sober frat boys. You’ve been grabbed at least 5 times now, only managing to narrowly escape their clutches the last time, and you have to fight to keep your patience as you try and spot his big head in the overcrowded frat house. You wouldn’t be here if not for his not so thinly veiled threat over text.

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Under the Bridge | Jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Genre:
fluff, smut, slight angst, Hybrid!AU
Words:
10.6k+
Warnings:
blood, violence (only really at the beginning), some swears, badass MC, SMUT that would probably be considered graphic?? idk
Notes:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Requested by japanesewonderflan:
I HAVE A REQUEST!!!!!! 🙌🙌🙌 Can you do a hybrid au! For either Jungkook or Jimin and you just found or bought them and they teach you about the life of a hybrid and what it’s like and then you start to understand but one-day you come home to them in heat????? 😄😄 If you don’t want to do the smut part, that’s fine too, I’m down for just fluff if you’re only comfortable with that. From your love 💙💜💚

Originally posted by sugutie


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Library Vigilante

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Content/Warnings: Fluff, second hand embarrassment

Words: 2360

Prompt: Library AU ‘You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down’ 

You can request more by dropping me an with an idea or pick a prompt from my favourite prompt lists one liners, 100 kinks, generals, AU’s and holiday prompts :) Hope you enjoy!


“I’m sorry, that book still hasn’t been returned to us yet.” The kind lady behind the desk spoke as she tapped away at her keys, “The gentlemen who has it is going to have a hefty fine when he decides to return it.” 

“He’s gonna have more than a hefty fine.” You mumbled, tapping your fingers off the desk. “How long overdue is it?” You asked, peering over the desk at the screen hoping to catch a glimpse of the name of this mysterious gentlemen. The librarian pulled her screen away abruptly making you huff in defeat. 

“I’m sorry Miss but that’s confidential information, you’ll have to wait until the book is returned or try another library.” She pulled her mouth into a tight line and began typing once again. You needed that book, it was the last one in the series and you were not prepared to pay a whole $25 on a book, not when there was a perfectly good one you could loan out for free. Slumping on the desk the librarian peered at you over her glasses, “Do you need anything else dear?” Yes I do I need that bloody book.

Pulling your head up you put on the best fake smile you could muster and glanced quickly at her name tag. “Susan,” You beamed, leaning ever slightly towards her “I just really need that book. You see, a poor art student like me doesn’t have a lot of money and libraries are where I can enjoy myself without having to pay and -”

“You should always donate some change to your local libraries dear, we have bills too you know.” Your smile dropped momentarily before you realised your face was betraying your annoyance. “Oh yes! I know that only too well Susan, see if you could just give me the details of the man who has the book I want, I could do you a favour and go and collect it.” Susan stared at you blankly, her fingers stilled over her keyboard. “I could be the libraries vigilante if you like.” You laughed, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear nervously. “Like an avenger, only on a smaller scale.”

Susan began to shake her head as you clasped your hands together, “We don’t need -”

“No I know you don’t but see I need that book!” You snapped at her, you’d already tried the other libraries for it when you discovered last week that it was loaned out. Unfortunately for you so were all the other copies. You gave her your award winning puppy dog face before she switched the computer off and placed a sign on her desk saying ‘Out to lunch’. You frowned as you watched her collect her things and move to the room that was reserved for staff only. 

It was completely empty in there, it was your local library that you frequented quite often but never really saw anyone else there. You weren’t stupid, you knew that being the closest library to the local college there was always students drifting in trying to look inconspicuous as they made their way to the first floor history section. Wandering around the place you realised that the place was actually empty, Susan was out back for her 45 minute break and no doubt there were students canoodling upstairs but…You were alone.

Heart racing with sweaty palms, you ran around to the other side of the desk and switched the computer on. All you needed was a name and an address and then you could hightail it out of there like nothing had happened. 

“Okay, calm down, you’re not hacking S.H.I.E.L.D…” You mumbled as you were faced with a password entry system. Putting your head in your hands you glanced around the desk, there wasn’t much save for a photo of a man in a cap and gown and a bobble head of Thor. You snorted, flicking his head as you racked your brain for an idea. Pausing, you began to type.

Books. Password denied.

Avengers. Password denied.

One attempt left. You glanced at the nodding Thor and tried again, holding your breath you typed Thor.

Password accepted.

“Black widow eat your heart out!” You muttered before typing the name of the book into the database. “Susan, we all have our vices.” It had been loaned out for quite a while, the man who currently possessed it has had it for 7 weeks. Who takes 7 weeks to read a book?! You thought while pulling up his details.

Grabbing a pen from a pot you quickly scribbled down his name and address on a piece of paper before switching the computer off again and hightailing it out of there.

It was a warm day so you decided to walk seeing as it was only a couple of blocks away from the library, you were running through the scenario of how the situation was going to go in your head when you realised that it wasn’t quite as far as you had thought. It was a small set of fancy apartments that was just down the road from the avengers tower, you remember the media saying that Tony Stark had built them but no one figured out what for. 

You scanned the list of names next to buzzers until you found the one you were after, “Donald Blake you’re mine!” You whispered as you pushed the buzzer for the apartment above his. 

“Hello?” A voice crackled through the intercom.

“Hi! I’m Donald’s girlfriend and I thought I’d surprise him,” You chirped, “he think’s I’m in California!” This better work.

Oh how romantic! Do you want me to buzz you in?” The voice asked.

You let out a silent prayer to whatever God happened to be listening before replying in a sickly sweet voice, “Yes thank you that would be amazing!”

Moments later you heard the tell tale buzz of the door unlocking, you quickly rushed through the glass doors and into the lift, pushing the button for the 3rd floor. The end was in sight, you were so close to getting the book and if you were honest, the adrenaline from the whole thing was more fun now than actually getting the book. The doors opened as your stepped out and made your way to the only door, steeling yourself you took a deep breath in and knocked quickly.

Picking at the skin around your thumbs you stopped breathing when the door opened to reveal none other than Thor, God of thunder himself.

He looked bigger than you’d imagined. Not that you’d imagined him of course, but he seemed bigger than he did on TV. You swallowed quickly as your checked the name and address on the slip of paper.

You looked up at the confused God, “Hi, does uh, Donald Blake live here?” You asked quickly, glancing at the paper before showing the God the slip too.

His laughter was like a boom, deep and hearty his whole body shook as he stepped aside to let you in. He shut the door behind himself before he led you through to a sitting room.

“Loki!” He laughed, gesturing to a man reclining on a chaise in the window, book open in hand. He was handsome you’d give him that, not in the obvious way like Thor but handsome non the less for a guy who tried to take over New York.

Your eyes locked with his when you realised that Donald Blake probably wasn’t gonna be sharing an apartment with the two asgardian brothers. Loki’s eyes roamed over your form as you stood next to his brother, his gaze was calculating and judgemental but not as cold and icy as you’d thought it would be. There was more indifference really.

“Brother.” He replied eventually, his voice more silky than you’d expected it. His eye’s had gone back to his book once he’d examined you and Thor motioned for you to sit.

“No thank you,” You noticed the younger prince’s eyes snap over to watch the scene unfold. “I’ve actually come for Donald Blake.” Puffing your chest out you turned away from Thor’s amused smile to glare at the raven haired prince who was watching you with curiosity.

“I’m guessing Donald Blake is a fake name, I don’t care. All I know is that I didn’t hack into that stupid computer using your name,” You shoved a finger into Thor’s chest before pausing and smiling, “Susan loves you by the way, you’d make her day if you visited.” Turning back around to Loki you noticed he’d close his book and sat up, your nerves were getting the better of you now as he stood up to his full height.

He’s taller than I thought he’d be.

“Anyway, you’re overdue on a book I want so I’ve tracked you down so you can return it.” Placing your hands on your hips you nodded once, signalling that you were finished. 

Loki’s mouth fell agape slightly before looking off to the side confused. Your confidence and bravado that had spurred you on had left, the adrenaline in your veins was replaced with fire as you felt yourself getting more embarrassed with each beat of silence.

Thor had taken to sitting on the couch that Loki was leaning on, a large smile plastered onto his distractingly attractive face. “You hacked into the libraries system?” Loki clarified.

You nodded. “Found our name and address?”

Oh god.

Came here, let yourself in.”

Oh no.

Knocked on our door and now you’re demanding a book back so that you may read it?”

I sound like a freakin’ psycho.

Thor looked between me and his brother who at that moment in time, had his head cocked to the left and was studying you very intently.

“How did you get into the building?” Thor laughed, taking a swig of whatever was in the bright rainbow coloured mug. 

Oh god now I’m gonna sound insane, officially insane. You thought before clasping your hands behind your back, rocking on the balls of your feet. “There’s a very nice lady upstairs, and uh, I told her that I’d flew in from California to see my boyfriend, Donald.” Thor clasped Loki on the shoulder and stood up taking his rainbow mug and his chuckles with him down the corridor.

You panicked, how could the god of thunder leave you with the god who’d tried to take over your planet not even 5 years earlier? Movement caught your eye as you watched Loki move with every bit of elegance you’d expect from a prince over to a leaning pile of books in the corner. 

He didn’t seem as bad as every said really, watching him move books from the top to the bottom before moving the pile all together to sift through another you began to wonder.

“Which one’s your favourite?” You asked quietly, his hands pausing for a moment before carrying on with their task. You left it there, you’d already made yourself look like a lunatic and didn’t want to annoy the trickster god anymore by asking him mundane questions. 

He seemed to find what he was looking for and straightened up, walking over to where you were with three very purposeful strides. “Here,” He spoke softly, handing you the book you’d come for. You smiled and flicked through the pages out of habit. “It’s this series actually.”

Your smile dropped as you looked up to him, realising that he was answering your question after all. “I rather liked this series, of all the boring books earth has to offer these one’s are rather amusing I suppose.” 

“If you like these one’s then any of the books written by Neil Gaiman would probably suit you,” You let out a breathy laugh as you tucked the book into your rucksack. “His stories are about norse gods actually, and how they -” You stopped as you realised you were babbling again, with a wave of your hand you glanced at the door. “You don’t care, why would you? I should get out of your hair, thanks for the book.” You turned to leave as Thor entered the room again.

Waving at him over Loki’s shoulder you turned back to the raven haired god, “Maybe I’ll see you at the library sometime,” You smiled at him as you pulled the door open, “bring money, Susan says you’ve a hefty fine waiting for you!” You laughed nervously before closing the door behind you. 

Mind whirling from meeting two very handsome gods, you leaned against the wall as you waited for the elevator to arrive. “Book lady!” Your head whipped round to see Thor standing in the doorway to the apartment you’d just exited.

“Yeah?” You answered as you saw Loki glancing nervously between his brother and you, “What’s your name?” Thor boomed as the lift arrived with a ding.

You grinned, “Y/N.” Stepping into the lift you tried to ignore the quiet bickering that was going on between the two brothers. You pressed the button for the ground floor but it wasn’t moving, and the doors wouldn’t close either. Watching as Thor grinned at his brother while talking quietly you began to stroll back over to the pair.

“Not to sound imposing, but the elevator’s broke.” Loki glared hard at Thor once more before watching his brother walk away. 

Loki’s mouth opened and then closed again, looking off the the side you followed his gaze but found nothing of interest.

“You ok Loki?” His head snapped back with wide eyes.

He cleared his throat and nodded, “Would you like to get coffee?” He asked quickly, glancing behind him at Thor who was grinning like a mad man.

Once again you felt yourself warm up as you nodded a bit too quickly, “I think I’d really like that.” Loki’s face relaxed as he grabbed a jacket from the coat stand and pulled the door shut. “You take every girl who tracks you down for books out for coffee?” You teased, taking the stairs with him.

He smirked as he held the glass entry door for you, “Only the ones called Y/N.”

Liability (Part 1)

A/N: FINALLY posting something. This is based off a recent even that happened in my life and I kinda needed to write it all down…let me know what you think! Especially since I haven’t written in forever! 

Dean x Reader, Sam, Jody, Claire

Word Count: 1000+

Warnings: Angst, Swearing

The two of you had avoided each other for weeks.

What went from hurtful words spewed at you in the heat of the moment, to you needing time, which then eventually led to the art of stonewalling that the two of you perfected in. And now here you were with this awful knot in your throat, your mind curled in on itself, two hands firmly holding the steering wheel, driving in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. You couldn’t even remember what the two of you had been arguing about in the first place, but the overwhelming sense of not being of any use to him, of being an inconvenience, a liability, was enough to have you putting as much distance as you possibly could from Lebanon, Kansas.

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2

Last night I experienced some @sixpenceee shit. I was walking around in my home town (which is actually really high in paranormal/spooky stuff like we have a new age store downtown. I live in the bible belt) and I had this pulling feeling to go down this road (first picture) and at the very end of it was this house (second picture) and I just got bad vibes all the way down the street. Before I go on I just want to mention I have a bit of a sixth sense. I get vibes from people or places and usually it’s only if I feel like they have bad intentions or if there is just a negative feeling or something, it’s a gut feeling and I usually listen to it. Anyway, about half way down there was this one road I felt like I needed to go down but the pull to this house was stronger.

I turned around to go back to the main road. The whole time though I kept turning around and checking out the house and stuff and I swear to god the hall light on the second floor was getting brighter the farther I walked away. I finally got to that crossroad again and I was just going to go back to the main road but I felt that pull again so I was like “this is a bad idea” but I did it anyway. Bad idea. I found out this crossroad ended near the cemetery. It was getting really dark and I knew it would be quicker to cut through the cemetery because it’s literally two blocks away from my house. So I went in. At night. There are only lights at the entrances and really dim ones on very few of the tombstones.

So I’m walking and I know I don’t need to freak out, it’ll just attract bad things but it was really dark and that house spooked me a bit. So I kept walking, occasionally turning on my flashlight on my phone to look at the paths a bit more clearly. I saw the gate near my house and thought this path I was on would lead me right to it but I took a step and stopped. There was no direct path, which was really weird because I swore there was a path there before. And I have a thing about cutting through the yard and being among the tombstones so I had to go around and take a longer path.

At this point I felt Something coming from the back/opposite side of the cemetery (for a small town, this is a huge cemetery) and I freaked and called my friend. I finally made it to my gate and went through. I was talking off my nerves and everything and I was starting to feel less bad vibes. I looked back and checked the gate a couple of times but one time I turned around and looked longer than just a glance and I got the worst feeling of the whole night. Whatever was following me made it to the gate. I’m a little mad I didn’t take a picture but I really didn’t want to stop for one. But just imagine a dark street with bare trees on one side of the road and some rough looking houses on the other with a gate at the end. And this gate is only tangible because of the yellow light cast upon it. Nothing seems to exist past this gate, there’s just black space behind it. It was eerie. I hightailed it out of there and stayed on the phone with my friend until I got home.

Rapunzel just became the first Disney Princess to do this, and it’s a big deal

You know how the Disney fairy tale goes: Boy meets girl, one of them happens to be royalty, there’s a bad guy to be fought, the hero wins, and everyone lives happily ever after — yay!

That’s been the norm since the very, very beginning of Disney Princesses. Each princess — whether in their “main” movie, or one of their straight-to-VHS movies — has always, eventually, gotten married to their respective prince*, and then lived happily ever after. Except for Rapunzel.

Rapunzel just became the first Disney princess to straight-up reject a marriage proposal.

Friday night, Disney Channel premiered their latest Disney Channel Original Movie, Tangled: Before Ever After. The movie set up the story for the new Disney Channel show, Tangled: The Series. The series is a sequel to the movie Tangled, but a prequel to the Tangled short, Tangled Ever After. GOT THAT? (Also, spoilers ahead for everything Tangled.)

So while, yes, we already know that somewhere down the road Rapunzel and Flynn Rider Eugene Fitzherbert get married and live happily ever after, it was not smooth sailing for them.

During Tangled: Before Ever After, Eugene decides he wants to propose to Rapunzel, and does so in front of the whole royal court. Instead of saying yes, Rapunzel says no.

Disney Channel

TBH, didn’t realize Disney Princesses could say no to marriage proposals, because we’ve never seen it happen before. This is kinda a big deal. We’re used to seeing this when it comes to the end of Disney movies:

Disney

We’ve never seen a princess hightail it away from a suitor, just leaving him hanging there, diamond ring still in hand.


Disney Channel

Later on in the movie, Rapunzel (now with her magical hair again — it’s a long story) explains to Eugene that she is not ready to be tied down yet (!!), and he apologizes to her for putting her on the spot with the proposal in front of everyone (!!!).

“I don’t quite understand why you said no, but I promise to do everything I can until I do,” Eugene tells her. Honestly, this is groundbreaking because we have never seen a Disney Princess go through relationship troubles before. Disney Princesses are JUST LIKE US!

Disney Channel

It’s clear that Rapunzel and Flynn are not done, and are not breaking up. However, she just asks that they table the marriage proposal for the time being, and asks Eugene to “please…be patient with me.” (It is worth pointing out at this point that Rapunzel spent the first 18 years of her life locked up in a tower, and has only now just reentered the real world and is still getting used to everything. Girl still isn’t even wearing shoes. So yeah, rushing into a marriage is not the best idea ever.)

As Disney princesses continue to evolve and change over time, Rapunzel just became the latest one to break the mold we’re so used to. While she’s certainly got that ~fairy tale~ love, for her, it’s not coming easy. Relationships are hard work, and it’s not just riding away into the sunset in  a horse-drawn carriage with a man you just met.

Blondie, take as much time as you need to figure out what YOU want in life, and if marrying Eugene is part of it, then we’re so happy for you two. But if you’d much rather scale the city’s walls and run as far away as possible, that is perfectly fine, too. Go figure out what you want for your next new dream — no relationship pressure, whatsoever.

*Except for Pocahontas, who fell for John Rolfe instead, #Pocahontas:JourneyToANewWorld

like i just wish

that show only watchers could know what Baelish is like in the books

because he’s literally so genial and un-assuming that the only people who suspect he’s up to anything are Tyrion, Varys and Sansa. Everyone else just thinks oh littlefinger. That guy. Yeah he’s good at math and accounts and shit and he’s a bit of a cheeky asshole but nah he’s good man he’s good. He just sits in the corner making one liners and wearing gaudy clothes, what a card.

he didn’t bankrupt the crown through bad book keeping skills, as a lot of show watchers seem to think. that shit was on purpose. He set that house of cards up so that the moment he left it fell to shit. which it did.

And even When everythings falling to shit when he’s already hightailed it to the vale, back in Kings landing Cersei wishes he was back . Would welcome him back to the small council with open arms. Jamie even thinks he would make a good hand lmao.

regularghostly  asked:

Okay I know the popular scenario is "embarrassed mutual pining" (and trust me I love that) but what about this: soon after lance realizes his feelings for Keith he just fully embraces them and starts flirting with Keith almost 24/7 the way he does with random alien chick only more specific/flattering? And Keith's like "what did my gay ass do to deserve this" not knowing Lance is actually fully serious. Then Lance finally stops playing games and just asks him out and Keith's like U WERE SERIOUS?

NSDJFKHJGDNKSFHBKSMFJNGH HOW ABOUT THIS:


The time Lance realized that he was undeniably attracted to boys was directly correlated to Keith. It was weird because he could have sworn that he didn’t like Keith - that dense, unwillingly condescending and hotheaded idiot - until. Well. Until they were out after a mission mingling with the locals and Keith was just standing there, a drink in his hand, smiling softly while he talked to a young alien girl. 

It was a huge thing. Lance’s breath caught, his heart skipped a beat and all the blood in his body rushed to his cheeks. Keith hadn’t even done anything special, he really just stood there, a soft and attentive look on his stupidly perfect face while the sun drew patterns on his mullet. It should have been an everyday thing except it wasn’t because Lance really could count on one hand all the incidences where he wouldn’t have changed a thing about Keith (including his awful hairstyle).

So back then Lance did the most sensible thing he could have done: down his drink, cough like mad because wrong pipe and hightail the quiznak out of this situation before it could go completely wrong.

Also, a private freakout that lasted for like five minutes. And maybe some stress eating and extra face care but honestly, that wasn’t a bad thing. He was a paladin of Voltron, they were fighting pretty much 24/7, he was allowed to eat more of Hunk’s cookies if he wanted to. And his face certainly wouldn’t complain about testing out new products to help it stay smooth and soft.

Honestly, Lance thought he had handled it pretty well. No excessive drama and no insults hurled Keith’s way. He’d like to think that he matured through his time as a defender of the universe and could now totally deal with being attracted to boys and Keith. No problemo for Loverboy Lance. 

Except, of course, it was Keith. How did one woo Keith? He was pretty sure that Keith was gay, that wasn’t the problem, the problem was that Keith was dense as quiznak. 

Luckily, the response had been right in front of his eyes: Keith might have been dense but Keith has also spent nearly 2 years with him in space and knew what Lance’s flirting looked like. It was ideal, he just had to act like he always did, not even Keith could be stupid enough to misunderstand that. 

So when the opportunity arose, Lance didn’t hesitate to take it.

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Regarding Dean

Characters:  Dean, Reader, Sam

Summary:  Sam calls reader to babysit Dean after he’s cursed by a witch.

Warnings:  Angst-ish

Word Count:  1776

Tags are at the bottom.  As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

Regarding Dean

The screen lights up on your phone, Sam Winchester’s name flashing on the screen.This can’t be good, otherwise Sam would never, ever call you. Not after everything that happened. Should you answer? You don’t really want to dredge all that shit up. But if he’s calling, it’s important. You’re thumb hovers over the green button. It’s on the third ring before you decide to answer.  

“Hello?”

“(Y/N)? It’s me, Sam. Please, don’t hang up, just hear me out.”

“I’m listening.”

“Thank…thank you. Listen, I wouldn’t be calling if I didn’t need help, you know that I wouldn’t. But I need you.”

———–

You can’t figure out how Sam knows you’re in the area. You haven’t had contact with Dean or Sam for over year. Is he still keeping tabs on you through the hunter network?  It’s touching in a way, you’ve always had a soft spot for Sammy. Truth is, you miss him.

Why the fuck are you driving to the motel right now? Why would you willingly put yourself in this position? Must be temporary insanity. It’s the only logical explanation. Maybe you should drive straight to the psych ward and check yourself in after this is over.

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Bravery and Bullets

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Reader has an awful week at work, a run-in with an ex, and an experience with the supernatural that she’ll never forget. Thankfully, the Winchester brothers are there to help.

Word Count: 7,848

Warnings: Angst (gasp! Ash writes angst? It’s light. Give me a break it’s my first time), language, violence, attempted (threat of) rape, death (not major characters), smut, dry humping, fingering, squirting, protected sex (I know you dirty ducks, some must be prepared!)

A/N: The commands given are German dog training commands, the meanings will be at the end of the fic. Thank you to my fantastic beta @wheresthekillswitch, your help is priceless. Hope you all enjoy this, it’s taken me over a year to finally finish it.

This week has been the week from Hell.

To kick it all off, while driving the remote stretch of highway that you travel to work on every day, your car had decided to take a shit on you. And in the time it took for the tow truck driver to show up, load your car, and drop you off at the office, your sleazy coworker Randy had stolen the new account right out from under your nose. Then, while he was gloating, and you were battling the urge to clock him right in his pretty boy face, you got word that your boss wanted to see you, immediately. Sitting behind her big ass oak desk with you standing there like a teenager facing detention, Sue lectured you on how important it is to be prepared, in every way possible, for such a big project. She finished the meet letting you know just how disappointed she was with you.

The rest of the day, and week for that matter, was spent trying to redeem yourself while dick-face Randy strutted around the office like a goddamn preening peacock. Then, to top it all off, you find out this morning that your ex is engaged to some beautiful, successful small business owner. Your own mother had called to rub that one in your face. Not that she was upset with you still sitting it out from the dating game, oh no, not at all.

And that’s what led you here, drinking a beer as the hot, pulsating spray of your shower head beats down on your back. Thinking about where things all went downhill. Heaving a sigh, you chug down what’s left in the bottle and set it aside to rinse the conditioner from your hair. Your life had been going so good, following your carefully laid out plans; a dream job in a field you loved, a loving boyfriend, and a quaint country home the two of you shared with your dog, Mac. But when you found out the loving boyfriend was actually a cheating dick, you kicked him out on his ass. Leaving you with a job that was starting to be less dream-like every day, a house payment you can barely cover every month, and the furry form of the only male you trust anymore. You hang your head, arms wrapped around your waist, letting the water beat down on you until your resentment clears and the water runs cold.

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bakery au (oldie but a goodie)

Part 1

“He hates me,” Bitty moaned, flopping on his couch. Holster was raiding his kitchen, listening to his rant about Jack Zimmermann.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong! Maybe it was because I told him that he played a hard game last night the first time he came into the bakery? All he does is glare at me and say stuff like ‘Eric, the coffee is too sweet,’ or ‘Eric, you need more protein.’”

“Brah, maybe Zimmermann just has a total resting bitch face,” said Holster as he pulled out a leftover pie from Bitty’s fridge. “Guy seems fucking intense. At least he’s good for business.”

“He keeps on glaring at me! And he comes in, like, three times a week. Orders a coffee and just drinks it in his corner, ignores my attempts at conversation even though, mind you, he has already said some pretty rude stuff!”

“The guy’s a celebrity, he probably has his head so far in his ass and doesn’t care about shit, and also just wants some privacy. Bits, you haven’t been taking pictures of him and posting it on twitter have you?” Holster asked, alarmed.

Bitty gasped, “Adam Birkholtz! I would never!”

“Then just treat him like an antisocial customer, he can’t be the only one going to the bakery who doesn’t want conversation and just wants service and food,” Holster said, dropping down next to Bitty on the couch with two tins of pie.

“I know,” Bitty sighs. “He’s just…so handsome. And he was so nice to Nursey when that fool tripped. And he tips generously. And he’s just so gorgeous, even when he’s glaring at me and speaking in grunts whenever I ask him how his day has been. I just want him to like me!”

Holster navigated the TV to a rerun of Golden Girls and handed Bitty one of the pie tins. “I think that’s your problem. You’re an amazing person, Bits, but maybe you can be a bit too friendly for resting bitch face robozoid Zimmermann. Maybe stop asking him about his day and just let him chill.”

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Lovers’ Paradox.

Every time he gloats over you, you just want to punch him in the face to shut him up. With your fist or maybe with your mouth. You still aren’t quite sure which one to use yet. Possibly both.

pairing: min yoongi x reader
genre: comedy, slight angst, fluff
type: enemies to lovers / police au
word count: 10,542 words
warnings: a bunch of sexual innuendos
author’s note: happy birthday to my mean ho, pablo, fellow yoongi appreciator, and the bestest friend in the entire universe @zephyoongist​ (i have a longer note for you at the bottom!)

bangtan police unit: a collab with @gukstudio


Lieutenant Min Yoongi had stationed himself at his desk for three hours already, starting from when he came in at six a.m. sharp, and practically inhaled the coffee he had bought from the quaint hole in the wall cafe near his apartment. Despite already downing the largest cup he could order from the shop, he no longer felt the effects of the extra shots of expresso and was forced to drink the watered-down version offered at his workplace. With more caffeine than actual rivulets of carmine running through his veins, Yoongi practically fuels his sleep deprived body with lethal doses of the stale and caustic coffee provided at the Bangtan Police Station.

The crisp sheets of paper from the latest case file he is examining are spread out across his desk in somewhat of a disarray, the original order he had put it in four hours ago now long gone, as he continuously rifles around for certain tidbits of information that can piece the solution together. Picking up what is now his third cup of coffee, he mumbles a variation of curses under his breath when he sees that he had been using the case’s manila folder as a coaster, glaring disdainfully at the blatant brown ring staining the front of the file. He is beginning to lose feeling in his backside, and his mind toys with the thought of taking a nap in one of the cots set up in the backroom. Yet, he cannot take his eyes away from the evidence laid out in front of him; the solution is right there—he can feel it beneath his fingertips as he trails them across the ridged papers and the dark ink.

Three rapid knocks are heard against the glass of his office door, and Yoongi looks up to see Hoseok—his second-in-command sergeant and long-time police partner—enter the room, nervously biting his lower lip. A deeper crease forms between his furrowed eyebrows as Yoongi takes one glance at the worried and tense expression adorning Hoseok’s ordinarily cheery face. He finally speaks up, his voice cracking slightly from disuse. “What is it, Hoseok?”

“Organized Crime sent their sergeant here to work on that case with you.” Hoseok gestures towards the opened file. “Apparently, it’s connected to a string of gang induced murders they’ve been tracking, and—”

“Oh, fuck, no.” Yoongi interrupts, rubbing his temples as he closes his eyes. “Please don’t tell me it’s—”

“Guess I’m stuck with you again. I’d say it’s a pleasure to work with you again, but it really isn’t, so let’s just cut the crap and get straight to it, pretty boy.”

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fluffy pre-relationship shallura headcanons

- allura pointing out the new galaxies to shiro while after hours in the control room in front of the giant window
- shiro taking her to the decontamination room to show her how rain feels on earth (and then allura chasing him around/throwing trinkets at him to simulate the altean rock showers)
- platonic bed-sharing thats initiated when they both pass out after a long night of strategizing in allura’s room (it just becomes a regular thing and neither of them ever openly question it)
- touching their foreheads together after one of them wakes up from a nightmare, the room is totally silent except for heavy breathing that slowly calms down
- watching lance and keith bickering via the security cameras and lip syncing over it
- allura finding preserved juniberry seeds and shiro helping her grow them
- coran barging in on them sleeping in alluras bed and alluras skin turning bright red as coran quickly hightails it out of there without waiting for an explanation
- pidge doing the same thing after they decide to move their situation to shiro’s room

i didnt know how to end this list, if you have any more ideas, send me an ask!!

EDIT made a second headcanon list! https://shalluravoltron.tumblr.com/post/158837889679/shallura-headcanons-part-2