high dad

Without a Hitch

A/N: A request from @milkandcookies528 for a piece where Luke and Spencer are single dads with daughters that go to the same high school. The daughters form a friendship and decide to have some fun. Very AU. Luke is a local detective and Spencer is a professor.


“Oh, this is going to suck.” 

“What’s going to suck?” Apparently, I’d said that out loud, because the girl assigned to the locker next to me spoke without me addressing her. When I turned to face her, she seemed nice - a shining smile, warm brown eyes and beautiful brown skin coming together to practically beg me to introduce myself. However, much like my father, I never introduced myself first.

But I decided to answer her anyway. “Just…you know, starting high school. My dad got made fun of relentlessly in high school, and so did my mother to an extent, so I’m definitely not looking forward to this.”

“My dad got made fun of a little,” she replied. “When he was a teenager, he was really thin for a while, so he got picked on a lot, but it stopped once he went through a growth spurt. I can’t vouch for anyone else in this school, but I won’t make fun of you, and if you stick with me, and I see anyone making fun of you, I’ll kick their asses. My dad’s taught me some stuff.” 

She extended her hand outward and gave my hand a firm shake. “My name’s Sati Alvez.”

“Sati,” I said, “I like that. My name’s Rosalind Reid.”


I was right about walking into my first day of high school. It did suck - for the most part. The only exception was Sati. Through all the teasing, the insane amount of homework and the anxiety of getting into a good college and living up to my parents’ legacy, Sati was there through it all. Thank fuck. Without her, I don’t think I’d make it. 

Freshman year consisted of both of us trying to figure shit out, and by the end, we’d gotten closer than either of us had ever imagined. We were both the daughters of single dads. Her mom was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer a few years back, and mine was taken from me when I was just four years old. One day, my dad came up to me and said that someone had been drinking a “bad drink” and then got behind the wheel of a car. He hit my mother head on and she died on impact. Since that day, I’ve felt guilty about my mom’s death; she’d been going out to grab a new teddy bear for me. The next door neighbor and destroyed my “Bearby” after I’d left him on the lawn for a moment to help a turtle up the curb of the sidewalk. Maybe if I’d paid attention, my bear wouldn’t have been destroyed, my mother wouldn’t have gone out that night and she’d still be alive. All of this I confided in Sati.

Despite both losing our moms, we were close with our dads. 

“My dad needs to go on a date again. He’s miserable,” Sati said, as she closed the lock on her locker two weeks into the start of our sophomore year.

So did Dad. After Mom died, it took nearly five years for him to date again. I was nine when he went out with another woman. It didn’t last long. Everything about her reminded him of Mom and it was too hard. “Mine too. He’s been single for two long. After his last relationship ended two years ago, he hasn’t dated.”

“My dad had a couple of dates with this one guy a while back. Maybe just before we met, but it didn’t last.”

“Your dad’s bi too?”

“Yup!”

All of a sudden I had an idea, and when I looked at Sati, she seemed to have the same one. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” She asked.

“If you’re thinking about trying to set our dads up with each other then yes, I am thinking what you’re thinking. We’d be like…super best friends. Sisters!”

Sati’s devious grin always made me happy. She wasn’t Sati if she wasn’t planning something epic. That’s why I loved her so much. “Okay, so how are we going to do this?”

“The dance!”  

Every year there was a father/daughter, basically a parent/child for whoever wasn’t close with their dads. That’s how they’d meet. 

While they both knew of each other (Sati and I had been friends for over a year after all), they’d never been able to meet. Their jobs never allowed it. “Dad, you’re coming with me to the dance this year, right?” I asked later that night, clasping my hands in front of my face and giving him my best pouty lip. “I really wanna go and I don’t blame you for the night classes last year getting in the way, but I’m excited.”

“I’m in. No classes this year,” he said, his eyes softening. “I can’t wait. I’ve got my best tux ready.”

Score. Sati’s dad, Luke, was already committed to taking her, so they were officially going to meet. 


Two weeks later, it was the night of the dance. I was wearing one of my mom’s old dresses. My dad cried. He had a corsage for me. It was a little cheesy, but he was so happy with it that I wore it anyway. Turned out Sati got one from her dad too. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” Luke said, extending his hand toward my dad. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You too,” Dad replied. “I’m sorry it took us so long to finally meet. Our girls have been attached at the hip for more than a year.”

Although it was a dance for parents and their children, Sati and I did our best to be absent from the room for various reasons so they could get to know each other. “They’re talking,” I whispered. 

Sati clapped excitedly. “Can you read lips? What are they saying?”

“I have no fucking clue, but they look happy. They’re both smiling.”

Apparently, they’d both had a good time because a week later Luke approached Sati and my dad approached me asking if we were comfortable if they went on a date. Both of us tried to play it off like this wasn’t the plan all along, but I sensed my dad wasn’t fooled. Whatever. It didn’t matter. He was smiling at the prospect of a date. That’s all I cared about. 

“I haven’t been on a date in years,” Dad said. “What do I wear? What do I do? Rosalind, you have to help me.”

“Can I pick out your clothes?! Where are you going?”

“That Italian place on Eighth Street. And yes, please, you know I can’t dress myself if I’m not going to work.” It was true. He looked like a giant man-child when he wasn’t at work. I needed to put together an outfit that reflected his personality while still making a good impression. “When’s the date?”

“Tomorrow.”

Clapping excitedly, I ran into his bedroom and opened the closet. “Okay. Here’s what you’re going to wear.” I had a knack for clothes. I was considering going to design school. “Bad science pun t-shirt, navy blue blazer, a pair of dark wash jeans, and your converse. It’s perfect. Put together, yet casual, and still showing Sati’s dad that you are an enormous nerd.”

“Right back at you,” he said, pointing at my shirt. 

It was a Star Wars Christmas shirt that said ‘I find your lack of cheer disturbing,’ so he had me there. “Touché.” I could just picture how Sati was reacting to being asked about her dad going on a date with mine.


“No freakin way! Really? Oh my god, dad, that would be more than cool. You deserve to be happy and her dad has to be amazing because Ros is amazing, so…win-win.”

Luke’s dimples perfectly framed his face as he smiled. “Okay, good. He seems like a good guy and I haven’t been on a date in a while.”

“Almost a year and a half dad,” she laughed. “Where are you going? When is the date? What are you wearing?”

“The Italian place on Eighth, tomorrow, and oh shit, I don’t know.” With a panicked look in his eyes, he turned towards his bedroom and Sati followed closely behind. 

Opening the closet, she stood there in awe. “Dad, you’re closet is a fucking mess.”

“Do you kiss your father with that mouth?”

“Yes,” she said, smiling as she stood up on her tip toes to place a kiss on his cheek. “Here we go.” Sati walked into the closet, which was a considerable size given he was the only one using it, and searched around for a pair of relaxed yet stylish jeans. “These jeans. Red t-shirt. Black blazer. And…what are your most comfortable shoes?”

“My flip flops.”

“No.”

“Why not?” He asked.

Sati turned around and smiled. “You may be wearing it but it’s my outfit and you’re not ruining it with those nasty flip flops. Here,” she said, leaning down to the floor to grab a pair of black shoes that were somewhere between casual sneakers and dress shoes, “Wear these. And your watch. My outfit is complete. And you and Rosalind’s dad are gonna have a great time. He’s really shy and sweet. Super smart too. He seems like a nice guy.”

“This feels backward,” he said, glancing between the clothes and his daughter. “I feel like I’m the one who’s supposed to be preparing you for a date.”

“I’m gonna focus on school for a while,” she said. Boys and girls were the furthest things from her mind right now. 

“That makes me feel better,” Luke laughed. “Alright, this seems like a good outfit. Thanks, sweetheart.”

“Anytime dad.”


Date day came quickly.

“Dad, you ready to go? You’re going to be late. You wanna make a good impression right?” I laughed.

He stumbled out of his room dressed in the outfit I picked out. Good old paranoid dad was smoothing the wrinkles out of shirt; he must’ve asked me 18 times if he looked alright. “Dad, you look great. Luke is going to love you, but you have to make it to the date.”

“What about your homework?”

“I did it.”

“And dinner?”

“I ordered myself a pizza.” As if on cue, the pizza guy arrived with my food, which was a good thing because I’m positive the next thing out of his mouth was going to be that he didn’t want me answering the door for a grown man when I was home alone. “Thanks so much,” I said, turning around. “All set. Now go.”

As he walked out, I not-so-sneakily peeked out the window to watch him drive away. He smiled at his reflection in the review mirror.

R: Dad just left. He looked exited. 

S: Mine left a few minutes ago. I said he was going to be early but he didn’t seem to care. I think he was a little excited too.

R: I think our plan worked perfectly if I do say so myself.

S: It went off without a hitch.

@unstoppableangel8 @coveofmemories @jamiemelyn @sexualemobitch @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @reddie-for-mileven

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

silverbutterfly17  asked:

Tell us how Steve managed to cause a disaster on his bicycle, only hours after he was banned from using motorized vehicles.

you must know steve pretty well, because that is exactly what happened.

the morning after throwing yet another motorcycle at a supervillian, steve woke up early and decided to go out and get bagels. not at all unusual, except that his favorite bagel place is in brooklyn. so naturally steve decided to just bike there.

tony keeps a dozen or so bikes in the vehicle garage, and pretty much every one of them is weirder than the one before. one is a concept made by ferrari; another one is made from bamboo and was a gift from an MIT student whose research he funded. one appears to have some sort of rocket engine attached. with selections like that, you can see why steve chose the oldest, plainest bike in the group.

what steve did not know was that this was the Deathbike.

see, when tony was 14 and starting at MIT, he wasnt licensed to drive and needed a way to get around campus quickly. so, like many other college students, he got a bike. a very nice, high-end bike, of course, but otherwise perfectly innocuous. (it was a bit too big for him. he insists it wasnt, and that he’s not short.)

tony rode it home and painted it black.

within the first month of owning the Deathbike, tony ran into two people, was run into three times by other cyclists, and just barely missed being hit by a car. tony refused to admit that either 1. the bike was cursed or 2. he was just a terrible cyclist, and instead painted a tiny white skull on the side of the bike for every collision, and rode it for the rest of his time at MIT. somehow, he survived, and no one was seriously injured. (he admits that there may have been a few broken bones. but he paid the medical bills, so it was fine.)

by the time steve took the bike out, there were twenty-seven little skulls.

steve knew none of this, and headed out on the sidewalks aboard the Deathbike. he made it a block or two on thankfully empty sidewalks before tony’s modifications kicked in.

little 14-year-old madman stark, drunk on alcohol and puberty, decided that his two-wheeled killing machine didnt go fast enough. so, using the genius and lack of foresight the stark bloodline had given him, he made some changes. and now the Deathbike has a little electric engine that kicks in after a certain speed, which basically increases how fast the bike goes per pedal. tony says the fastest he was ever clocked on it was about forty mph–but insists he could have made it faster, except he didnt want to make it too bulky.

steve was doing fifty miles an hour by the time he was six blocks from the tower.

since steve is himself, instead of maybe slowing down when he realized how fast he was going, he decided to see how fast he could get. and it turns out that a supersoldier on a bike built by teenage tony stark can go plenty damn fast.

a traffic cam on the brooklyn bridge clocked him at nearly 115 mph.

but dont forget–this is the Deathbike. it earned its name, and would fulfill its mildly inconvenient legacy regardless of who was riding it. 

also, its tires were never built for that kind of stress. 

steve turned around the corner of the block where the bagel shop is going some eighty-odd mph (having slowed down to turn), and hit a heap of cardboard. if he’d been going slower, or if the wheels had been in better shape, he might have been able to brake in time. as it was, he was still going pretty fast when he hit it. and since the universe loves to laugh at steve, the pile of cardboard was shaped pretty much like a ramp.

steve and the Deathbike went airborne.

somehow, the early morning commuters failed to notice captain america hurtling through the sky on the worlds most sadistic pedal-powered monster, so when he landed in the bed of an old metal pickup, nobody checked on him when he didn’t pop right back out. instead, the Deathbike, steve, and steve’s shiny new concussion remained right where they were, in blissful unconsciousness.

when steve finally woke up, he was somewhere in southern virginia, and there was a very confused pickup truck driver wondering how the heck he’d wound up with a giant man and a bike in his truck.

we would have made steve bike back, but we didnt want to tempt fate. instead we sent a quinjet.

the Deathbike was unscathed.

steve is not allowed to use bicycles any more. 

That mini panic attack you have when your youngest adoptive son comes to visit you while your oldest son is already there and you know they are having a feud

that parental controls video is the cutest thing i have ever seen

loOK AT BOWSER AND HIS LITTLE TINY PHONE???

S O N IT HAS BEEN FOUR HOURS I WANT TO WATCH MY GODDAMN SHOW 

he has to jump like 3 feet in the air to high five his dad im crying

his lockscreen is peach,

BOWSER WILL FUCKIN WRECK YOU IF YOU MESS WITH HIS KID

bowser having a good time listening to what’s important to his son and playing his favorite game with him???? bowser is such a good dad??

instagram

THIS IS THE CUTEST BYE

Joyce, this is Hawkins, okay? You wanna know the worst thing that’s ver happened here in the four years I’ve been working here? Do you wanna know the worst thing?

It was when an owl attacked Eleanor Gillespie’s head because it thought that her hair was a nest.

- Jim Hopper

Bonus:

Dustin and Steves’ Dads?

And if you needed another one:

(This photo was originally uploaded by @davidharboursource ?)

OKAY BUT concept: Lazytown, but it’s meant for teenagers

Okay but- imagine how different Lazytown would be if it were meant for teens while STILL trying to be educational 

Like, it’s a few years into the future, and all the kids are now in middle or high school (depending on age. I like to think Ziggy 13, Stingy and Stephanie 14, and Trixie and Pixel 16) 

Of course, Sportacus, Robbie, and the other adults would all treat the children differently now that they are older. They are open to talk to the kids about more mature and serious topics 

The teens are a really confusing time to be going through, and I’m sure Sportacus would still be just as supportive and willing to save the day…he just does so in different ways now 

The show would cover and educate teens on  issues that teens might go through like 

*Ziggy being self-conscious about his weight to the point where he just- stops eating and Sportacus tells him that how his body FEELS is more important, rather than how it LOOKS (covering body positivity, eating disorders, showing that boys can have that problem too) 

*Stingy developing his very first crush on someone and becoming very clingy and possesive and needing to be taught that people are NOT like things and you can’t just CLAIM a person as yours (covering consent and healthy relationships) 

*Steph getting her period for the first time and she and the Mayor have no idea wtf is going on (cuz lbr, the mayor is kind of dumb) so Sport’s crystal beeps and they’re like “she’s bleeding!” and Sport knows what’s happening but doesn’t know what to do so they actually call Bessie for help. But after that, Sporto starts carrying pads/tampons along with him just in case cuz you gotta stick out for your friends 

*Given the amount of time Pixel spends with computers, I’m sure you can make at least one episode on internet safety with it. Pixel’s crush on Stephanie might be good material for episodes on teenage romance and healthy relationships too 

*Trixie maybe starting to realize that she’s “not like other girls” and doesn’t really pay much attention to boys like they do (covering sexuality) Perhaps she even likes Stephanie a little which could add the element of a love triangle

*Maybe in that same episode, Sport teaches them about gender and sexuality in general and he brings up non-binary gender and Robbie overhears and identifies it with himself, giving us a message that it’s never too late to come out or discover who you are 

*Imagine the drama of an episode where one of the kids gets their hands on a cigarette and Sport catches them just before they’re about to light it and for the very first time EVER, he’s visibly VERY ANGRY at and DISSAPOINTED in the kids, but it’s all out of a place of concern 

*Or an episode where Robbie slips Sport just ONE shot of alcohol in secret and given how sensitive his body is to just SUGAR, Sport instantly gets alcohol poisoning which leads to Robbie freaking out and probably asking the kids for help or something because not even sportscandy is fixing it (teaching kids to be careful around alcohol and also what to do if a friend happens to get sick) 

*Sport shown to actually be overwhelmed with worry about the safety of people in town every once in a while and having anxiety over it, and being confused because he goes outside a lot and eats healthy so WHY is it happening? And Robbie who also dealt with anxiety issues in the past actually telling him that sometimes, that’s not enough and how sometimes, medications and therapy may help (teaching that it’s okay to let people know you aren’t always ok, and that you shouldn’t hide it) 

And of course, Sport would STILL be promoting a healthy lifestyle in general. He’s the cool high school health teacher dad, who’ll talk to the kids about anything they want to know, from puberty to sex to crushes, anything. And Robbie has toned it down on the schemes a bit (since the kids are older and much less guillable now so there’s no point) and has warmed up to the kids a bit now that they are older. But, he’s still the lazy insomniac we know and love. Maybe sometimes, …Robbie might even be a better teacher in terms of MENTAL health than Sportacus even, given all the stuff that he himself has dealt with having 

…Not to mention, an older target audience opens up potential for Sportarobbie to actually be a thing? 

There’s just- so much potential that Lazytown could STILL have, even if it weren’t meant for younger kids

This is just- something that I really really want and like to think about 

EDIT: Some MORE ideas for you since I came up with more 

*Pixel’s crush on Steph just getting bigger and bigger but he has no idea how to talk to girls, so for whatever reason, he asks ROBBIE for advice on how to do that, who ends up bringing out Rottenella for him to practice on 

*That ends up being a bust given that Rottenella can’t talk, so he ends up asking TRIXIE to help him practice and even after realizing that the girl he has an eye on is Stephanie, …she helps him out anyway even if it hurts, because Stephanie and Pixel are her friends and she actually….sacrifices her own feelings for theirs 

*Sport is the one person that Trixie can talk to and vent to about her feelings for Steph, being the one guy she can trust, and then Sport totally hits us with the feels by being like “I understand what you’re going through….the person I like wants me out of town forever.” 

*Robbie going through one of his depressed states during the winter holidays (perhaps seasonal affective disorder? The episode covers depression) and isolating himself around Christmas because his self-esteem is in the gutter and he’s convinced that nobody wants him around, so he’ll spend the holidays alone, and Sport is just heartbroken and like “No, you’re very wrong, we WANT you to come be with us and we love you” and we finally get a translated performance of “Aleinn um Jolin” 

*Robbie reprogrammed Sugar-Pie to act like a normal dog, but one day he stops functioning  and is beyond repair and basically “passes away”, and everyone else is like “??? but it’s a robot, just make another.” But Sport reminds the kids that regardless, this was someone that Robbie was close to and that they should let  him grieve and be there for him (covering loss, death, and the stages of grief, which is something everyone goes through at some point) 

*Bessie becoming the unofficial mom that helps the girls out with the things that Sportacus and the Mayor might lack ability or knowledge to help in (like, bra shopping and shit like that because the idea of momma Busybody is just great, you guys) 

*Being the youngest, Ziggy is just entering high school and the older kids support him and help him get used to the transition from middle school 

*At least one episode with the trope where one of the boys is dealing with their voice cracking due to puberty (Stingy, because he would be the funniest) 

*There is still a Bing Bang at the end of each episode, but each one is different where sometimes, a different character sings it, or the music changes genres or parodies some sort of pop culture reference 

…You can make at least 12 episodes out of all this? That’s like, half a season right there 

ANOTHER EDIT: I’ve noticed how a big handful of you said that you fucking want this? Well, I’m not stopping you? Everyone, be my fucking guest if you wanna contribute to this in any sort of way. 

Actually…it might be kind of fun, making this into a sort of group project (collaborate on art, fics, etc) You guys can like, message me if that sounds cool

The Crown and the Flame? More like “OMG THERE ARE DRAGONS IN THIS ONE”.

Most Wanted? More like “We’re never getting the sequel”.

The Freshman/The Sophomore? More like “I’ve got 99 problems and like one of them is actually mine”

Endless Summer? More like “Endless Suffer”

The Royal Romance? More like “#MurderKing”

#Lovehacks? More like “Friends, but one of them used to work at BuzzFeed”

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor? More like “GHOST LADY!”

Rules of Engagement? More like “I’d sell my soul to the devil to get that money”

Hero? More like “DIAMONDS”

High School Story? More like “PUNS AND DAD JOKES UNITE AND FORM THE ULTIMATE WEAPON: DAD PUNS.”