high class life

When there are some days I question what I do for a living
The 5 Types of Fuckboys

So a while ago, I came up with this theory. Because all fuckboys are assholes but not all assholes are fuckboys.
There are 5 types of fuckboys:

Type 1- The Prep
Usually includes MOST football players(and other sports), as well as most rich guys. Will deny to the ends of the Earth that they are fuckboys.

Type 2- The Stoner
Looks perpetualy high. Often has shit grades. Is probably higher than your self-esteem. Will deny to the ends of the Earth that they are fuckboys.

Type 3- The Mexican Fuckboy
(Subject to your area) Usually plays soccer, walks around saying Spanish cuss words. Sort of naturally short. Calls most teachers “Mr.” Or “Mrs.” Will deny to the ends of the earth that they are a fuckboy.

Type 4- The Lowkey Fuckboy
Possibly the most dangerous type. They don’t wear confidence on their sleeve nor are they cocky right off the bat. But don’t be fooled you won’t know they’re fuckboys till you been played. Will deny to the ends of the universe that they are fuckboys.

Type 5- The Wannabe
The most annoying type. Isn’t cute enough, smart enough, clever enough, or charming enough to be a fuckboy but they usually hang around them and act like a douche to everybody as if they are. Only there cuz they’re friends with a fuckboy.

BTW:
Many guys can be two types so refer to them through slashes. EX: “He’s type ½”

Educate yoself kids

Intro to Upper Class Culture, Part 1: The Opera

Alright so one thing I did when I started sugaring is I tried to become more “cultured” and “sophisticated”. I took some art classes, I read, I watched, I lived and breathed in culture. I see and hear POTs talk about how much they love various upper-crust cultural things all the time so I’m going to start writing mini lessons on various elements of high class culture, because honestly they aren’t as intimidating as you think! 

So tonight’s lesson will be: The Opera! I thought I would absolutely hate opera when I was forced to attend a showing of it for a class in college, but I ended up loving it. Why? Because the opera is melodramatic and at times ridiculous and it makes no apologies for that. It is an art form intended to be over the top and as an Eastern European woman I can appreciate gaudiness when I see it.

A brief history: The first opera, Dafne, was written in 1597, during the Renaissance, in Italy. Its writer, Jacopo Peri, was a humanist, which is very significant to the rest of opera’s story. If you don’t know what a humanist is, I’ll break it down for you. Before the renaissance, during the “dark ages”, little worth was placed onto the individual, life centered around God and if God made you into a peasant, you were supposed to stay that way. Then, humanism (which was inspired by Greek and Roman philosophy) took hold. Humanism places worth on the individual and an individual’s autonomy: now people are worth something, even if they are born a lowly peasant, and, they can change their fate. To us this sounds obvious but back then it was pretty cutting edge stuff (they call it the dark ages for a reason). You’ll find a lot of the stories behind great operas reflect humanist ideals! (As a matter of fact, one entire genre of opera, a verisimo, is defined as: a realistic style of opera that depicts the seamy underbelly of life.)  

Why is this important? Although, like many art forms, opera began as entertainment in the court, it quickly morphed into an art form for the upper middle class and, eventually, the working class. Yes, that’s right, snooty white glove opera was the art form that championed the middle class. And, like Shakespeare’s plays just before them, they were often very funny, and quite vulgar. As a matter of fact, operas were banned in Germany for a while because of their vulgarity (as if we didn’t already think Germans were wound a little too tight).

Now, assuming you’ve gotten over your preconceived hatred of the opera (good for you, try something new!) you might be a little nervous about actually attending your first opera. Lucky for you, there isn’t really too much etiquette behind it! 

First, there is the dress code. You don’t have to dress that nice to go to the opera. You can! If you want to wear a ball gown and a fur coat and diamonds go for it. More than likely there will be other people there doing that, especially if it’s opening night. My friend told me that her grandmother took her to the opera every year and they dressed to the nines and it was her favorite part about going. You do you girl. But if you want to be more low key, that’s ok too. I would say don’t wear anything you wouldn’t wear to church or a nice brunch; keep it decently classy, no yoga pants. 

Second, what do you do during the show? Make no noise. Seriously. Zero noise. Why? The singers use no amplification, and it’s amazing how much sound they produce. But, if someone makes a noise (whether it’s with a cellphone, you rummaging in your purse for chap stick or your fancy little binoculars or whatever) it’s super distracting for everyone within earshot and can drown out the amazing performance. So sit back, and relax. And don’t. Make. A sound.

Third, when is it ok to make noise? Before, during intermission and after, lol. And also when clapping! When should you clap? you might be wondering. Generally, when everyone else is clapping, at the very beginning when the conductor is on stage, at the end of an act and at the end. And when you’re clapping it’s appropriate to yell “bravo” when celebrating a man, “brava” for a woman and “bravi” for a group. 

Alright, a little opera vocab for you and then we’re almost done. 

aria: An emotion-expressing song in an opera; the big number.

bel canto: A style of sweet singing, taught to singers even today, that emphasizes breath control, a beautiful tone, and great flexibility in dynamics

cadenza: A moment near the end of an aria for the singer alone, with lots of fast, high, difficult notes, designed for showing off. (bonus tip: use this to sound fancy, it’ll impress your date)

libretto: The script of an opera.

opera buffa: Funny opera, especially from the 18th century.

opera seria: Formal, serious opera, especially from the 18th century.

prima donna: The singer who plays the heroine, the main female character in an opera; or anyone who believes that the world revolves around her.

recitative: (“ress-it-uh-TEEV”): Speech-singing, in which the singer semi-chants the words, imitating the free rhythms of speech.

Singspiel: (“SING-shpeel”): A German opera with spoken dialogue (instead of recitative) between arias.

Tips On How to Make the Opera More Enjoyable: 

1) Read the plot of the play beforehand. Read it fairly thoroughly, not just a two sentence summary. I promise it will make it more enjoyable if you know what’s going on.

2) In the US a lot of opera houses provide translations on some sort of screen behind the singers (since most of us don’t happen to speak German/Italian/French etc.). But if they don’t it’s ok. I know the idea of sitting through a series of odd sounding dialogues in a language you don’t understand may sound frustrating (welcome to my first year in America!) but it really isn’t that bad. Enjoy the sound of the opera, don’t worry about the dialogue. The music is what is infinitely more important. 

3) Appreciate the other elements of the opera! Whether it’s the lighting, the set, the costumes, the acting, there is so much going on in the opera! Opera, fun fact, literally translates into “work” because it takes so much work to put on an opera (that very last part might be a joke from my opera singer friend, but it might be true).

4) Appreciate how much effort goes into opera singing! It is AMAZING. It is the olympics of breath control. It’s athletic and beautiful and artistic and takes so much practice and work you can’t even imagine. My friend has been singing opera for 17 years and still considers himself an amateur. They project their voices without any amplification and use every single inch of their body to make that much noise and if you don’t find that impressive then I dare you to go try opera singing and come back to me.

Anyway, that’s all I really have! So whether it’s for a date, or a class, or just because you want to try something new that’s outside your comfort zone, hopefully this post will leave you a little more educate on the opera and make you want to experience it for yourself! 

Now go get yourself a ticket and impress someone with all your newfound opera knowledge!