high abv

Challenges & Games

Tony Stark x Reader

Summary: After a long, exhausting mission you return to the tower ready for hot shower and a drink, when Tony offers to turn your night around and finally do something about the tension that had been building between the two of you. Are you up for the challenge, and more importantly, will it end well?

Warnings: alcohol, smut, fluff

Word Count: 3822

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Two Old Queer Girls Hijack the Jukebox on a Friday Night at World of Beer

Here’s to all the 20-something Straight Kids and 30-something Sportsball Fanboys who were out for a drink at World of Beer tonight and had the Jukebox violently hijacked by our almost-40 and almost-50 queer lady selves.

It was great.

Me: *halfway through a flight of high-ABV pumpkin beers* “Hey, you can take over this jukebox if you download the app! Do it! Do it!”

Her: “But what would we play?”

Me: *laughs much too loudly*

Presenting The List:

1. London Calling - The Clash
Welcome to my high school years, bitches!

2. Take Me to Church - Hozier
“You’re a dog, I’m a dog, we are dogs in a church…” Also: screw your Puritanical religious ideals.

3. Let’s Go Crazy
Prince. ‘Nuff Said.

4. 99 Luftballoons- Kaleida
Like, the saddest, most soulful version of this song ever. Lesbian angst.

5. Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
Gay.
Also, makes us think of Destiel.

6. Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
Speaking of Destiel… This is 100% percent gay, pining Dean. 100%

7. Faded Heart - Børns
A favorite of the missus.

8. You’ve Got the Love - Florence and the Machine
The first concert we went to together.
Also, Lesbo-affiliated

9. If I Had a Heart - Fever Ray
The theme song to Vikings. Yeah, that’s right.

At this point, a dude is standing at the Jukebox, putting in dollars, trying to get some decent fucking music in this place.

Ha, Ha, fuck you, Charlie; we’ve already picked a bunch more and queued them up.

Like these:


10. My Shot - Hamilton Soundtrack
Hey, you like Musicals? Do ya, punk?

Oh, I remembered: It’s Pride Weekend here!
Time to Gay it up a little more!

11. Macho Man - The Village People
So gay. The guy next to us is getting into it.

12. Chains of Love - Erasure
Gays my age were ALL ABOUT Erasure, gottdammit! Gay. Erasure. Heck yeah!

13. Grey Street - Dave Matthews Band
Yes, I’m a near-50 queer lady in 2017, but sometimes I am a straight, white frat boy from the 90s. I can’t help this.

14. Blue Eyes - The Cary Brothers
One of the first love songs the missus ever sent me.

15. Brick House - The Commodores
Because I am built like one, with the massive boobs and everything.

By now, Black Crows has started playing and is set up for three more songs.

Straight Charlie’s playlist has taken over.

We paid our tab and left.

But not before we sent in one more song to play after all of his:

16. Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
We make the rockin world go round!

I came all the way to Scotland to sit inside my best friend’s apartment watching funny animal videos on YouTube for several hours the day after her wedding and it was a million times better than any sightseeing.

Had a killer hangover today that has kept me no more than two steps from the nearest toilet all day so despite telling myself I’d go out at night while I’m on vacation, I am in bed at 8:30 drinking peppermint tea because I am sexy and dangerous.

Hopping on a train to London tomorrow morning. It’s weird that it’s been almost 10 years since I studied abroad there. I’m looking forward to the part of this vacation where I get to wander around by myself and never have to wait on someone else to get ready. Fantastic.

Trying to figure out a gift that both says “congrats on getting married” and “sorry if it’s awkward that I fucked your PhD advisor, but you told me to and also he has an Australian accent so I can’t be held accountable.” Maybe some nice soaps.

I’m never drinking high-ABV rosé again. Unless someone offers it to me. Or it’s available nearby. Or if exists. Other than that, definitely not.

Stellar Wind (Finback)

Brewery : Finback
Beer : Stellar Wind
Style : Triple IPA / Imperial IPA / TIPA
Variance : Dry Hopped with Citra & Motueka

9 / 10

Who the fuck said that hazy IPAs are the only good ones coming out lately? This beer pours a traditional golden hued clear (for the most part) and really doesn’t have much going on in the smell department but for what it lacks there, it makes up for 10x in flavor. Honestly, smell to me is just a bonus but I could give a damn less whether or not my beer smells like pineapple juice or donkey asshole, as long as it tastes delicious. I love that more and more triple IPAs are popping up everywhere just like I love that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition has become the “Kate Upton topless except for a well placed arm edition“ because these high ABV beers have come so far in regards to flavor and drinkability. A dank citrus and melon flavor starts this off with some more pungent hop flavor mixing in towards the middle with a wet hop bitterness before ending with a mild alcohol burn and smooth fruited flavor with a mix of bitter and sweet. This beer’s 10% ABV is almost completely hidden just like Josh Hutcherson’s acting career is almost completely hidden in the shadow of Jennifer Lawrence because let’s be real, no one watched Hunger Games for that little prick. I’m not quite sure where Finback got the “Wind” part of this beer’s name but I can assure you that the “Stellar” part couldn’t be more fitting because not only will this beer knock you on your ass because of it’s ABV, it will also tickle your taste buds with it’s awesome hop flavors. For the bastards seeking out membership to the drinking crew, run from this beer because even though it goes down smoother than a freshly shaven vag, it will still wreck your mouth if you aren’t prepared for it. As for you current members, make sure you pick this up because this really is a damn near perfect example of the style and it needs to be tasted by as many of you fuckers as possible.

Written by: Steve B.

araverfullofgrace  asked:

For the beer comment. I tried it all. I feel like I'm a different species of human that cannot stand the taste of beer. Teach me your ways

i’m not saying beer is for everyone, but i find that a lot of people who “don’t like beer” have been drinking bud light, miller light, pabst blue ribbon, etc. for their entire drinking lives and those beers suck lol they’re cheap rice beers. the world of craft beer is so extensive like you are bound to find something you like, whether it’s a porter, stout, lager, ipa, or even a cider. 

i myself personally enjoy stouts the best - those are generally flavored with milk, coffee, and chocolate. 

ipa’s taste really bitter and hoppy but if they’re brewed with some kind of citrus then they can be pretty good. 

lager’s are are more on the plain side, imo, but can be really good session brews (like, not a high ABV and meant to keep drinking one after the other over a long period of time without getting wasted). 

ciders are made with fermented fruit, usually apples or pears, and tend to be low in ABV. 

now, shandy’s are a little different - actual beer brewed with some kinda soda or ginger ale, with fruit flavors added in. my fave is the Leinenkugel’s Grapefruit Shandy. 

lots of restaurants/bars let you sample various beers with no problems, so i would suggest asking for suggestions and trying a few to see what you like. :D