Imagine a song that describes your despair. VOCALOID songs have a way too many of them to understand my own self… This I made as my birthday present to myself, because this song says a bit of me and how I’m feeling. (This one and Depression Of The Young Literati, but I couldn’t find an UST for this one…) 

I’m grateful to Shiva that made the UST for this one, because she made it in a way very easily to mix, and I do not like mixing… But sometimes I just need to know that I made something on my own…

Used Enbukyoku Aline as the harmony because I always wanted to make them sing together and I feel that somehow Aline sometimes feels exactly the same as I do~ I have a great respect for her and I’m very glad I’ve met her. I’m going to sleep now because I want to go out with my friends tonight! I’M GOING TO BE SO FUCKING DRUNK! BECAUSE I REALLY NEED TO BE TOO DRUNK TO FUCK! I’M HATING EVERYTHING THAT’S BEING LIFE RELATED AND I NEED SOMETHING TO ESCAPE FROM THIS ALL AT LEAST FOR 5 FUCKING MINUTES!

Good night.

Hidoor Utopia

If someday this world is going to disappear
And I have to laugh for you
Then I’ll stop myself with my own arm
As always

The birds that fly up to the faraway sky
Are strangely sad
I can’t fly
Even if someone spreads their arms and repeats with me

If we could live only by thinking
Then I wont cry any more
If we die only with our hearts
Then I’m no longer in this place

I guess you can hear the endless song
My dead utopia
Ugly reality, the town I dreamt of
There’s no way that the connected chains will break apart

When you saw me that time
You said crying words
You said that you wanted to go somewhere far away
With a sleepy voice

That first page that we looked at together
While promising one another
Was a lie or just spur of the moment
Why are you crying as you tell me this?

I guess you can hear the endless song
My dead utopia
I can only pray; I can only sing
Why won’t you stay by my side?

For you
I’ll say it right now
Please stay with me like now

Why are you crying and talking so much
That your voice is gone?
The reality that I’ll just be alone

I guess you can hear the endless song
My dead utopia
I couldn’t find it, but I’m looking for the words
Dedicated to you that I dropped somewhere

I guess you could hear the voice that spread as far as the sky
My dead utopia
You knew that the voice is crying
At the end, please say it as you’re smiling

“Thank you”(♫)