hide yo kids hide yo wifes

in only a week’s time we were stripped from the shining pride of third and cast down into the dark depths of fifth

the bears have awoken

their wrath cannot be quelled

THEY WILL SETTLE FOR LAST NO LONGER

THEIR LOYALTY TO THE BEAR FATHER IS MIGHTY, BUT DESPAIR NOT, FELLOW SNEKS. OUR LOVE FOR SNEK MOM WILL REDEEM US YET AND RESTORE US TO OUR PROPER PLACE

It̺̥̟̗͖ ̦̞̹͈į̲̬s̙̤̕ ̥̰C̡͓̝̬̟͇̹o̝̯̝̣͟m̹͇̥̼ͅi̷̦̩̳ng͕̫.̳̰͇̼.̥̦̟̯̠͘.̫̮̟̖͓̙

We all know its coming.. February 14. Yep. So hide yo kids. Hide yo wife. Hide yo Spys because its coming.

And we know what it all horrifyingly means for all of us.

The Devil’s Subordinates.
  1. Gordon RAMsey 
  • This be Envi, AKA the newest addition to the horrible people club.
  • Good with any child that isn’t Satanick’s.
  • Only capable of laughing when he’s drunk.(Same tbh….)
  • Has the personality that of a twelve year old boy ranting on YouTube.
  • Has a keris but murdering people with umbrellas is a lot more fun, amirite?

2. Shingen Kishitani

  • This strange man is Yagi.
  • His name means “goat.” In other words he’s a moose.
  • Likes smoking cigars, drinking alcohol, and doing everything else he can to forget the responsibilities that come with being a father and husband.
  • Has the doki-doki for Sullivan.
  • He wears a gas mask constantly and taking a look at the man in charge, I can’t blame him.

3. Back alley Doctor

  • This not suspicious figure is Lec Hijohshiki.
  • He’s really good at curing illnesses and injuries!
  • But that’s for noobs, so it’s back to spreading the plague and pushing old ladies down stairs.
  • Has a brother (We’ll get to him later…) He’s the better of the two, actually.
  • Like any normal pair of siblings, he’s either calming his brother down or eating his internal organs.

4. UGGGGHHHH

  • I don’t want to say his name…but I kind of have to so this everyone, is Roc Hijohshiki.
  • Trash.
  • His hobbies include: lynching angels, starting shit with random people, and the most notorious…abusing innocent, adorable lobsters.
  • He actually has these really weird mouths on his hands. Fuckin Deidara wannabe.
  • “YOU CAN’T ARREST ME, I AM THE POLICE!”

5. He’s Beauty, He’s Grace, If you Ain’t Wearing Gucci GTFO His Face.

  • This is Benihotaru!
  • A derivation of his name is “lipstick” Wonderful.
  • Amongst all his fellow comrades he appears fairly stable, probably why he gets no screen time.
  • A hysterical clean freak who looks oddly serene.

6. Invader Zim

  • This is Edabane (feat. Zigzag’s hand)
  • Move over Licorice, this guy is a literal man baby. 
  • Deeply committed to his wife, Zigzag. (See hand for more info)
  • Not much of a talker, apparently.
  • I like his hat.

7. ‘Film’ Producer

  • This is Hidou….yeeeah.
  • He enjoys watching movies. I’m not talking Lion King though, 
  • He has great footage of Karma biting Roc in the ass.
  • Despite this please do not approach this man.
  • Look what happened to the angel nurse, she didn’t even make it long enough to get a name.

8. Aconita’s Husbando

  • Tis be Kyou.
  • Don’t be afraid of him, guys. He just wants your heart~
  • Nah but he likes collecting angel hearts.
  • A pervert with headsweat issues.
  • Faithful to his wife. (Presumably Aconita.)

9. Sinnamon Roll

  • Is his name Kan or Hitoki? Whatever he’s a tiny sinner.
  • Enjoys feigning innocence (because we know how innocent the Pitch Black World is.)
  • Will attack you in your sleep and then make you wonder how he got into your home.
  • Has some crazy fucking morals. 
  • Depraved and weird.

10. SLAYER, SLAYER, SLAYER

  • This creepy dude is Dokugai.
  • He (as you can see) has lots of piercings but if you thought his no-no bits were clean then boy have I got news for you.
  • He loves little boys.
  • Probably isn’t allowed within 500 feet of a school.
  • Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband.
A Guide To Greek Gods and Heroes:
  • Apollo: trash
  • Jason: trash
  • Medea: dubiously evil queen of my heart
  • Agamemnon: dead trash
  • Clytemnestra: takes out the trash
  • Zeus: walk of shame incarnate
  • Hermes: little shit
  • Hestia: literally no one talks about her
  • Artemis: #misandry
  • Hera: woman, scorned
  • Hades: goth wannabe shit baby
  • Persephone: Per-Step-On-Me
  • Ares: God Of War ™
  • Aphrodite: Walk Walk Fashion Baby
  • Cronus: hide yo kids, hide yo wife
  • Athena: i feel like she plays baseball probably
  • Achilles: I Love My Dead Gay Son
  • Patroclus: “Geez Achilles find your chill.” 
  • Orpheus: Gay
  • Hephaestus: allll byyyy myyyyseeEEEeelf
  • Heracles: why does no one talk about him mucking out those stables?
  • Odysseus: total piece of shit
  • Chiron: tired of everyone’s shit
  • Hecate: my wife

    EDITED TO ADD THE FOLLOWING
  • Patroclus (alt.): Oh look at that. I’ve been impaled.
  • Poseidon: I think you mean Broseidon, bro to the fishes and ponies
  • Dionysus: ambiguously queer and perpetually sloshed
  • Oedipus: the loser of every ‘yo momma’ battle
  • Ajax: Stronger than Grease ™ <-soap reference in case it’s too obscure
  • Circe: basically that scene in Monty Python where all the evil ladies wanna bang
  • Tiresias: Bet he didn’t see that one coming.
  • Cassandra: got the short end of every stick
  • Antigone: that play from high school english that everyone sparknoted
  • Cerberus: whozagoodboyden
  • Hyacinth: what kind of asshole gets killed by a discus?
  • Hippolytus: a fedora sporting MRA
  • Romulus: moon
  • Remus: moon
  • Narcissus: Treat Yo Self

Support group for Gotham parents with black haired, blue eyed children– Batman could strike at any time. Your child could be next. Keep them away from dark alleys and team sports at all costs.

anonymous asked:

So what if Norway and Iceland had a sister/brother who is really nice, kind and quiet but one day during breakfast Norway wants to Iceland to call him big brother and their sister/brother say to them "Big bro, there is Norway Iceland is gonna Denmark you as his older brother"?

I have had this in my ask box for three days and i couldn’t wrap my head around it. I had to get my brother to read that out to me, 10/10 Pun game STRONG!

Norway:

“…Did you just…?”

  • Has that look on his face that you get when someone puts mayonnaise on a fried egg. (I know people who do this)
  • He better of had his coffee before this or he will throw them out the window
  • He might do that anyways if they start to laugh
  • God forbid the Danes there, he will die of laughter and Norway’s wrath.
  • They will have to run to their room to escape him
  • Hide yo kids, hide yo wife cuz muns making jokes from 2010.

Iceland:

“SEE! (SIBLING NAME) AGR- WAIT WHAT?”

  • This boy is so confused
  • His sibling made a pun, his adorable little sibling made a pun
  • He’s is both happy and disappointed
  • Happy because his sibling is on his side
  • Disappointed because of the pun
  • He’ll just stare at then after that