47. “Go on, I dare you” thanks for the prompt! :-)
Hiccup was absolutely disgusted. Not with himself- well, there was that too, he should’ve stepped in sooner- but also with that jerk-face Nil. That jerk had downright hugged Astrid, and even attempted to kiss her.
This was Astrid, so she easily kicked Nil in the groin, flipped the man over, and had him on his back with the wrong end of the axe at his throat. But Hiccup was raging mad. No one- repeat no one- did that to his Astrid.
So as soon as Nil hit the ground, Hiccup was there with Toothless, and the dragon easily picked up the foreigner and took off into the sky, Hiccup on his back. Astrid had looked startled, but Hiccup hoped she’d understand. He needed to do this. She was more than capable of defending herself, he knew that. But she was his girlfriend, and he wasn’t going to just stand by as some guy waltzed into the village and tries to kiss her.
Nil was beginning to… come out of shock down there. Hiccup glanced down, glaring at the large teen who by now was struggling and crying out in anger and fear.
“I wouldn’t move around too much!” Hiccup shouted. “We’re pretty high up, and I know Toothless isn’t too keen about you.”
To affirm that, Toothless hissed a growl, showing his teeth as he twisted his large head to look at the boy.
Nil halted, but his curses and threats did not. Hiccup rolled his eyes, growing more and more angered with each word that passed through the boys mouth. He’d had it when Nil went so far as too call Astrid… a word he’d rather not repeat.
“You bastard!” Hiccup shouted, twisting in the saddle so he could glare down at the defiant Nil. “You don’t talk about Astrid that way!”
“Why’s that?” Nil asked back in a mimic tone, whiny as though he tried to copy Hiccup’s voice. “She’s not claimed, there wasn’t any token of-”
Hiccup pulled away and out of view, urging Toothless to land so he could punch… something. Before long he’d be hitting the saddle if he didn’t have something to release his anger upon.
“She’s a lady. You don’t just go up to a lady and try to kiss her without her permission!”
“We do where I come from- every woman’s available.”
Hiccup closed his eyes and hissed, glad to feel Toothless descending from the air. He needed to land before he was sick.
“You are disgusting.” Hiccup growled, although he doubted Nil was close enough to hear.
Toothless touched the ground, practically sitting on a loudly protesting Nil in doing so. Hiccup jumped off and grabbed Nil’s bulky arm, pulling him out from under the Night Fury and into the cove.
“Hey!” Nil pulled away, wrinkling his nose and growling in anger. “Don’t touch me.”
Hiccup snapped his head around, glaring openly at the coward before him. “Touch you!? O-oh okay… so I can’t touch you, yet you can touch Astrid- going so far as kissing her!?”
He rolled his eyes. “Woman are lower class, Hiccy.”
That did it. With a shout of fury, Hiccup lunged forward and grabbed Nil by the shirt collar, and before the man even realized what was happening Hiccup had planted his fist firmly into his nose.
Nil howled and whipped back, hands clutching his bleeding nose as he streamed off a series of cusses. Hiccup stood still, hands clenched at his side as he stared with no regret at the idiot.
“You leave Astrid alone.” He hissed. “You try anything with her or any of the other woman in Berk, you can just automatically come to me for punishment instead, got it? How about now? I am after all just that… weak, useless, boy I’ve always been. Quote unquote.”
“Want to try that again? Go on, I dare you.” Hiccup stepped back, ready if the larger teen attacked. Hiccup was lean, he could duck any throw Nil tossed, and he could also roll much faster then Nil ever could. He had an advantage. It did help that there were no weapons handy currently.
“You are a-” Nil hissed, finishing the statement with profanity.
Hiccup winced but easily shrugged it off, rolling his shoulders.
Nil hissed, “I don’t even want your girl anyways.” he strutted past Hiccup, walking towards the opening of the cove. “You can have the-”
The last word met Hiccup’s ears, and he stepped forward again, grabbing Nil’s arm and effectively twisting it behind his back and slamming him to the ground, knee against his spine.
“Call her that one more time and you’re a dead man.” Hiccup muttered darkly.
“Fine!” Nil cried. Hiccup moved away and Nil took off to the opening, leaving Hiccup grinning and Toothless warbling a cheer.
“Passion Patties; a minty chocolate miracle in your mouth.”
“We also gotta get some Flantasy Flan and some of that Angel House stuff!”
“One at a time Rapunzel. Okay they’re gluten free! Sweet!”
“Gluten free? Hiccup, the whole point of Mukbang is to NOT give a crap about dieting!”
“If I remember correctly Rapunzel, is that A. This “Mukbang” fad is only popular in South Korea. B. No one in America, correction; the world, would ever invest in hours just watching two people do nothing but eat and C. We’d be eating our way to a heart attack within three seconds with this sweet shit, speaking of which, why are we even using my card on this-“
“Jack just texted me and said he knows a guy that can smuggle some Smile Dip for us.”
“Smile Dip? Rapunzel, didn’t the FDA ban that stuff?”
“How should I know? A little dip won’t hurt, eh Hiccy?”
“Why are we even friends again?”
Part 2 of that Mukbang AU and grocery shopping has never gotten more ridiculous than ever! Rapunzel needs an Internet block on anything from South Korea. R.I.P. Hiccup’s perfect bank account.
Of course he was unclaimed. Who would ever own up to a joke of a son like him. Especially a god.
Hiccup sighed as he unpacked the couple items he had managed to scavenge together before he ran out of his house screaming from a…what was it? A bronze bull of some kind? He couldn’t remember the real name but the thing had been nasty. Really what self-respecting monster sets your butt on fire?
Hiccup sighed again.
“How’re you settling in?” Came a voice from behind him that he instantly recognized.
He turned and found Jackson Overland peering in at him from the door to the Hermes cabin. Jackson, nicknamed ‘Jack Frost’ for his shocking white hair, blue eyes, and icy weapon, had been one of the three half bloods to save Hiccup from his bovine problem. He, along with Jason Grace and Leo Valdez had stormed in-no pun intended-and saved Hiccup from the fire breathing monster like it was normal. Which for them it probably was.
Hiccup had been embarrassingly staring at the striking boy when he had smiled and said, “Your butt’s on fire.”
That little scene had been mortifying enough that Hiccup had pretty much barricaded himself away since then.
Yet now there Jack was, smiling at him with those beautiful pearly whites.
“Uh yeah.” Hiccup said nervously, neuroticly touching the items he’d just set down and rocking on his heels, “Its, uh, cozy.”
“Don’t worry,” Jack’s smile was reassuring, “You’ll get claimed soon enough.”
Hiccup rolled his eyes. Yeah, right. What God wants to say 'oh yes, that there is my talking fishbone, yes.’
“Thanks Jack.” He tried for a smile but it came out more like a well meaning wince.
“Any time.” Jack returned the 'smile’ with an actual one, “And Hiccup? Don’t hesitate to come find me if you need anything.”
“Yeah, 'course, will do, roger that.” Stop talking.
Jack shook his head, still smiling that smile that should have landed him in the Hermes cabin before he turned and walked away.
To say that sword play was not Hiccup’s class was so comically understated that it was almost a decent joke. Not only did he manage to nearly decapitate himself but he’d actually broken a celestial bronze sword that had weathered sixty monster battles.
He was just special that way.
“Uh, maybe you should give something else a try.” Percy Jackson smiled, patting Hiccup’s shoulder and nearly toppling him, “Maybe something a little less pointy.”
“Is there such a thing as less pointy in a demigod camp?” Hiccup sighed, sagging under the weight of his armor.
Percy thought for a moment, “Weaving? Or maybe match making.”
Hiccup actually laughed at that, “You seriously think Aphrodite is my mom?”
Percy put his hands up to show non agression, “I have seen so many weirder things. I don’t even have expectations any more.”
Despite the implications, Hiccup found himself smiling. He’d heard so much about Percy and honestly was a bit terrified to actually meet him, but he was so much not what he’d expected. He was almost as much as a goof as Hiccup himself.
Okay maybe that was pushing it, but still.
“I think I’ll try my hand at weaving.”
Weaving which only went slightly better than sword play. While he did manage to make something, he also managed to cocoon his hands. Annabeth Chase had simply laid a hand on his shoulder and gave him an encouraging but dismissive smile.
Okay weaving was not one of his gifts either.
By lunch Hiccup had tried sword play, weaving, match making, archery, gardening, lock picking, and croquet (was there a god for that because if there were he’d likely offended them) with absolutely dismal results with all of them.
He was dejectedly nibbling a turkey leg when Jack wandered over to him.
“Any luck?” He asked, tearing into a bagel.
“No, but I have accidentally entombed a couple people.” He sighed.
“Entombed?” Jack raised dark brows, “With what?”
“Are you the son of the god of parrots?” Hiccup accidently snapped, “Yes. I may have weaved a couple people onto woolen prisons okay.”
Jack laughed and laughed hard. He probably didn’t mean to but he just as likely couldn’t help it. The phrase 'woolen prisons’ would have done that to even the most serious of people.
“Oh gods, I’m sorry, but that’s rich.” He breathed out and little snow flakes glittered out of his mouth, “And for future reference my mother is the godess of snow.”
That made sense.
“That’s cool. Er, no pun intended.”
Jack actually snorted, shaking his head, “You’re certainly interesting Haddock.”
At that a blush warmed his freckled cheeks. Hiccup wasn’t remotely used to compliments. He was used to screwing up and having people stare at him sideways. He was used to being called cruel names, not 'interesting’. He didn’t really know how to react.
So naturally his reply came out something like, 'I.. you thank…nice…highly high…weirdness concentrate…’ Mixed with bits of Norwegian until he forced himself to shut up.
But Jack didn’t look the least bit off put. No, if anything he looked even happier. When he opened his mouth Norwegian flowed out of it like run off from a glacier.
“You speak Norwegian?” Hiccup asked, spring green eyes widening.
Jack nodded, “Spent a while there while I was young. Well younger. I picked up the language but I’ve never had reason to use it.” He grinned that mischievous little smirk, “Funny how the world works out, eh?”
Hiccup nodded slowly, still effectively hypnotized by this beautiful boy speaking his native tongue.
Maybe there was a silver lining to this whole demigod thing.
Hiccup passed the next couple days in a perpetual state of trying not to get himself killed or maimed. He sucked at almost any physical task, being far too small and thin to manage much of anything. And for some reason the Ares cabin had it out for him. Maybe because he was small and easy to pick off.
However when he wasn’t trying not to impale himself on some manor of sharp thing, he spent most of his free time with Jack.
He found that the ice demigod had little trouble moving through social circles, seeming to trail a fun times with him wherever he went. Even Nico di Angelo didn’t seem to mind him when he kept his hands to himself.
Hiccup was sure he knew why Jack was so easy to like. Not because he was funny or goofy which he definitely was, but because he was so genuine with everything he did. His big, bright blue eyes were almost childishly transparent and every thought he was played out in them. It was easy to trust someone when you could see their intentions so easily.
Hiccup himself found that he had an easier time talking to Jack than even his cheerful partner in crime, Leo Valdez. The two demigods had made it their mission to spread laughter to every corner of camp whenever they had the chance. They played off each other well, but where Jack was open and genuine, Leo seemed to be hiding something even if Hiccup couldn’t exactly tell what it was.
Mostly it didn’t matter. Hiccup was too busy surviving to analyze the humor which was keeping him from going insane.
“Soooo, Nordic Noodle The Second, what’s on the docket today?” Leo grinned, looking up from the little project he was fiddling with.
Hiccup didn’t protest the nickname. Unlike the dozens he’d earned himself before, this one was good-natured and affectionate so he didn’t mind it. Much.
“I was going to explore camp a bit more. Maybe see if I could find something that appeals to me.” He watched Leo’s hands carefully, running up specs in the back of his mind. With the dimensions of the project it was either going to be a toy car or a miniaturized crossbow. But it was hard to tell with Leo.
“You sure you wanna do that Hic?” Jack asked, flopping down by his feet, “There’s a lot of ways to get yourself killed around here.”
“Thanks for the faith Jack.” Hiccup said dryly.
“Just saying.” The snowy haired teen shrugged. “Be careful Hiccy.”
Hiccup shuddered, “No, don’t call me that. That sounds pet-namey.”
“Pet-namey? Is that even a thing?” Leo chuckled.
“What’s wrong with a pet name?” Jack asked, rolling onto his back playfully, like a kitten.
“Its…” Hiccup could feel his face starting to flush and actively failed to do anything about it, “It seems kinda…”
“Super homo?” Leo arched an eyebrow.
“I was going to say personal.” Hiccup spluttered, now hopelessly lost to blushing.
Leo and Jack were both inches from laughter when they glanced at each other. There was something in that look, something that only two people who had schemed side by side for a long time could have understood.
“Nah, its super homo.” Leo grinned.
“Very homo in fact.” Jack agreed, “I mean you are pretty cu-”
Hiccup was out the door in one smooth movement. It made sense that the only time he was graceful was running away.
Hiccup moved without much of a goal in mind. Just the need to not be near Jack and Leo. He knew they were only teasing but apparently his hormones didn’t. Those shocking ice blue eyes made playfulness look akin to flirting and Hiccup was not well versed in controlling himself under those circumstances.
The little Norwegian was so wrapped up in trying to calm himself he had no idea where he’d wandered to. He might’ve kept wandering had he not run directly into something solid and…scalely?
Hiccup back pedaled quickly, crab walk style. His breath hitched into stillness as he glanced up at the thing he’d just run into.
As a boy Hiccup had heard stories of dragons that used to plague his homeland. They came in all shapes and sizes and had a large variety of abilities, destructive abilities. This scalely mass he’d just run into looked eerily similar to the deadliest dragon of them all the one they called…
Hey! Loved all of your httyd stories, especially the modernAU ones :) I was wondering if you could write another modern one where Astrid and Hiccup have to say goodbye to each other because Astrid's 2 month leave is over and she has to head back to the Middle East?
Only because your blog is awesome. *Is a stalker* Continuation of this and this.Quick Sum:Hiccup the college student sees Astrid on the news as a soldier in the middle east, and decides to contact her. They hit it off right away.
The months had gone too fast after that first date, and it was already time to wave Astrid of at the airport. His days had been filled with exploring Berk, going on a road trip with someone who wasn’t related to him, pick-nicks on the beach. And somewhere in between all that, somehow, there had been various make-out session with his first love. It was everything his high school self had dreamed of, and more. Well, except for one thing then.
“This is it, then?” She said after a moment of silence, neither of them really knowing what to do.
“You sound like you’re dying, stop being so dramatic.” Hiccup said with some half hearted humour in his voice. It remained unsaid that dying was a soldier’s occupational hazard.
“Well, it’s only fun if you get a scar out of it.” And this was getting very awkward, very fast.
Before it could get even worse, Toothless decided to jump Astrid with all his glorious 70 kilos of fluffy love, and proceeded to drown her in saliva. “Toothless! I have a 10 hour trip to look forward to! I don’t wanna smell like a wet dog!” Toothless had the audacity to look insulted, and continued his assault. Hiccup laughed, all the awkwardness from before forgotten. “Okay, okay, you big three legged monster. I’ll miss you too.” She eventually admitted, and petted the enormous dog until he got off her.
“Sorry, he’s a bit enthusiastic.” Hiccup apologies while he tried and failed to tame his dog.
“Don’t worry, I asked you to bring him, didn’t I?” And she smiled that blinding smile he’d grown to love over the summer holidays.
And that pretty much summed up the issue laid before him.
Hiccup took a deep breath, preparing to throw it all out. “Astrid, I -“
“Hey, Cousin!” Only to be interrupted to a figure running towards them. All dressed up in the same uniform as Astrid stood Snotlout, who looked genuinely pleasantly surprised to see his cousin at the airport.
“Hey Snotlout, long time no see.” Hiccup tried to greet him back casually, trying not to turn beet red.
“O, and hail our ferocious leader!” Snotlout said after he’d hugged his cousin. “Did ya miss me?”
“Not really.” Astrid answered back coolly, but Hiccup saw the hint of camaraderie inside her eyes. She looked at Hiccup, then back to Snotlout, and back, trying to spot the similarities. “I didn’t know you two were related?”
“And I didn’t know you two were dating!” Snotlout countered. Then, he dramatically laid pretended to console his cousin as if it was he who was going to the battlefield. “My condolences, Hic!”
Snotlout narrowly managed to dodge Astrid’s famous left hook, and ran off while Hiccup muttered an awkward ‘uh, thanks’ after his disappearing figure.
“Well, that was a coincidence.” He muttered, fumbling the package in his pocket.
Astrid checked her watch, and the small smile on her face fell.”The plane is boarding soon, I think I should get on it.”
“Yeah” Hiccup agreed, taking a quick look at the slowly disappearing crowd in the departure room. Time went too fast.
“So,” Astrid asked, petting Toothless. “You’ll write me?”
Hiccup looked at her lovingly. “Are you kidding me? Of course! That is, if you’re not getting sick of this one legged civilian.” He joked back, but only half heartedly.
“You? Boring? You make up for that leg with all your crazy theories!"And there, she did it again, making her eyes shine and taking away all her doubts. Maybe it was the tears that were gathering there that made them shine, but it was still so perfect. If only she didn’t have to leave….
Oh, fuck it all. It was now or in 6 months really, and he’d rather have now. In one confident swoop he pulled her close and kissed her like life depended on it. And she all to eagerly returned the sentiment by wrapping her arms all around him. In the background, the loud whistling of Snotlout could be heard.
"I’ll miss you” She whispered to him in between the kisses.
“Me too.” He already missed her. Missed this. “Make sure my cousin doesn’t get killed, will ya? He has a knack for setting himself on fire.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.” She answered, an evil glint in her eyes.
“And, I got you this.” Then, he remembered the little thing he’d been working on for two nights in a row. “I know you’re not allowed to wear much jewelry, but I figured this was small and covert enough.” He said, handing her the small wrapped up package.
Inside she found a small necklace, a golden dog tag with the words. ‘Astrid Hofferson, if found please return safely to Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, for he cannot live without her.’ It was sappier than anything they’d said before, but it was what he felt, and this was probably the only way he could get away with it. He anxiously waited for her reaction. Astrid’s eyes went wide while she read the word’s. “This is amazing, Hiccup. Did you make this?” He nodded awkwardly. “Thank you, I’ll keep it close.” She choked out after a few seconds with a heavy voice.
“Allow me” She nodded, and turned around while he secured the necklace around her neck. She took another moment to admire it, and then kissed him again, slowly this time.
“I really got to go now.” She then said when the last call came over the speakers. “I’ll see you in 6 months, right?”
“I’d better see you sometime this week on Skype, or I’ll feel very left alone!” He joked, knowing he’d get a facebook message as soon as she landed. She was that kind of thoughtful.
Astrid smiled lovingly.”Oh, I love you, you little dork.” And after that she proceeded to hug the life out of him, while he stood there dumbstruck by her words. Well, that settled things. He managed to choke out a “You too” before she let go and gave him a final kiss on the lips.
Then, the army mask went on, and the tough as nails woman marched to her plane, and Hiccup and Toothless were left in the departure hall with an empty feeling and a furiously beating heart.
It took him awhile to gather himself and walk back out of the airport, to the parking lot.
“So, that looked romantic?” Gobber elbowed Hiccup teasingly once he got back into the car. Toothless hopped in the back seat with a happy wag of his tail. He wouldn’t have asked his pseudo-father to drop them off, if it hadn’t been for the little fact that one-legged people weren’t allowed to drive. One armed people, like Gobber, did get that privilege which Hiccup deemed it highly unfair.
“Shut up Gobber.”
“Ye didn’t tell me she was yer girlfriend, Hicci! Well done! She’s a killer!” He said with glee, enjoying himself way too much.
If looks could kill, Gobber would be dead man.
"Alright, alright. I’ll call ye dad and tell him we’ll be home in an hour.” He said, waving Hiccup’s anger away with his prosthetic hand. Then, after a minute of silence, he added: “And that his future daughter-in-law is safe and sound on her plane.”
“DON’T YOU DARE! I’LL KILL YOU!”
“HEY, I’M DRIVING HERE FISHBONE! AHH!”
The Httyd fandom needs more Gobber. This is a fact.Also, Hiccup and Snotlout acting as actual cousins is one of the things I seriously miss in most fics. I hope you were satisfied? I’m not good at romance. How the fuck am I in a long term relationship. Also, could somebody do a ”so” count?