hi my name is emily and i like to torture myself

It’s yours/Dr.Spencer Reid Smut

Originally posted by sweetg

Most of these are taken from my Wattpad account! (Twtrash01)

Send me requests for the following Fandoms: Teenwolf, Vampire Diaries, Dolantwins, OUAT(Peter Pan, Robbie Kay, Supernatural, Suicide Squad, The 100. Basically I’ll write for any fandom. I’ll write non-smut as well. Be specific in what you want! *I DON’T OWN ANY GIFS*

“Go on, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.” He said trying to keep his voice steady, I couldn’t find the words. “Go ahead!” He said raising his voice. “I don’t love you.”

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Broken souls mend together

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Prompt: Set after season 6, ep 18 “Lauren.” The reader was roommates with Emily, and goes to Spencer for comfort. Inspired from the scene where Reid had admitted of thinking of taking drugs again to JJ after Emily comes back in season 7, ep 2. 

credits to the amazing poster @hotchnerfuckmeup

Part 2 

Spencer stared at the syringe and the small bottle that he placed on the top of the sink. He looked back at the mirror, staring at his own haunted expression and red eyes. He could do it right now and no one would bother him. It wouldn’t hurt this much anymore.

But Emily would be so disappointed.

He shut his eyes close as he swallowed the cry that was lounged in his throat. It’s been five weeks since Emily died, and it still hurt to even think about her. The guilt of not doing enough and the crushing pain he would feel whenever he saw the empty desk beside him was enough to plunge the needle into his arm. He just didn’t want to feel anymore, and he wanted this pain to go away. If he couldn’t save Emily, then who could he save?

The doorbell ringing snapped him out of his thoughts and panic bubbled inside his stomach. He quickly shoved the syringe and bottles into cupboard, looked at himself to make sure that nothing was wrong before he could see who the guest was. He quickly crossed the rooms to open the door, and his breath hitched when he saw who it was.

It was Y/N.

She was drenched, and Spencer didn’t even realize that it was raining outside. His heart clenched when he saw the red eyes and haunted face, and he blinked rapidly to hide his own tears. “Hey,” She said, giving him a tired smile. “Were you sleeping?”

He shook his heads and stepped aside to let her in as he took in her hunched form. "You’re drenched,” he said and wanted to slap his forehead because what a great question genius.

“I was just walking around,” She answered, her voice scratchy. “It suddenly started to rain and I didn’t have an umbrella.”

“You were walking around? At this time?” He said, his voice a bit louder than usual. It was past midnight, and you would think that she would be more careful considering what they see at their jobs.

“It’s better than staying at home,” She whispered, and immediately Spencer felt bad for raising his voice.

Y/N had joined the the team just after Rossi and immediately connected with Emily first before him. Y/N couldn’t find a steady place to stay so Emily offered her apartment and the two quickly became best friends and roommate. So for Y/N to be in a place where she spent so much time with Emily must be hard.

“I am sorry,” He whispered. “Come in, I’ll get you some clothes for you to change.“

"No Spence it’s-”

“You’ll get sick. Please,” He said, and Y/N reluctantly nodded her head. He went to his room and got out with some of his old clothes. With a grateful smile, she took it and headed towards the bathroom. He strode to the kitchen and put the kettle on, knowing she preferred tea over coffee. He started the coffee machine and rubbed his face to keep the tiredness away for now.


He turned to Y/N and froze at what she was holding. He looked back to her face, expecting to see the disgust or pity in her eyes, yet all he saw was empathy. As if she knew exactly what he was feeling, or going through right now. Wordlessly she placed the syringe and the dilaudid on the coffee table and searched her bag for something. She took it out and placed it beside the dilaudid.

Razor blades. Three of them.

He looks back at her, shock clear on his face. He really looks at her now, taking in his sweater and his sweatpants hanging on loosely. There is an vulnerable expression, her posture hunched in, as if to protect herself from criticism or disgust. What drew him the most is the tears that filled her eyes, threatening to fall down. He could feel his own eyes tearing up as he crossed the room and took her in his arms. They both broke down, clutching onto each other as they cry their hearts out.

They don’t know how long they say there, embraced and lost in their grief. The whistling from the kettle broke them out of their embrace, and she looked guilty at his wet shirt. “Sorry about that,” she said, nodding at the wet spot on his shirt.

“Don’t worry about it,” Spencer murmured, wiping away the remaining tears. With a small smile he walked to the kitchen to get the tea and coffee. Y/N sniffled, wiping her tears with Spencer’s long sleeves. She looked back when Spencer enters with a cup of her favorite tea. She smiled tiredly, noticing his dark circles and red eyes.

“Thanks,” She whispered, and with a tug on her arm they both sat on the couch. She tucked her legs under her, keeping some space between Spencer. There was a hesitation in the air, as if they were not sure of themselves after such intimate moment.

“I never told anyone about that,” Y/N said, her voice soft as she nodded to the blades. “That’s why I was walking around. If I was in my apartment, I think I would have given in.”

“Oh,” Spencer mustered, continued to looking at his coffee. “I understand. If you hadn’t come maybe I would have too.”

“What stopped you?”

“Emily,” Spencer whispered, tears immediately filling his eyes.

“Did she know?”

“The whole team knows, except for Seavar and Rossi. It happened when she was new,” He answered, a shake in his voice. “We were on this case-“

“You don’t need to tell me,” she told him in empathy. She knew how hard it is to open up about something like this, and that’s why she never told anyone when she moved to Quantico.

“I want to,” he looked up at her, his face showing determination. “We were on this case in Atlanta, and the unsub was suffering from dissociate identity disorder. One of his personalities would torture me while Tobias, the unsub, would drug me with dilaudid. He said it would help, but it only made things worse.”

There was a haunted look in his eyes, and Y/N reached over to hold his hand. Spencer snapped out of his memories when he looked down at their intertwined hands, and he looked up to see her up close with an broken expression. She squeezed his hand, letting him know that she was there and if he needed to stop it was fine. There was no judgment in her eyes, just understanding.

“He made me choose which family to kill, and I had to. They died right in front of me,” his voice cracked at the end, but Y/N didn’t make a move to get closer. She let her own tears flow, her heart aching for the man sitting beside her. He wasn’t looking at her, just staring forward and continuing with his story.

“I had to kill him and his last words were thank you. I took the two bottles of dilaudid from his dead body, and I tried at first to not get high. But the pain and nightmares were too much-“

“And you wanted an escape,” she finished for him.

“Yeah,” he agreed. He swallowed down in nervousness, trying to not break down again. “The team noticed, of course, but they couldn’t do anything officially. Emily was new at that time, and it was easier to snap at her than others.” He concentrated on the patterns she was drawing on top of his hand, drawing comfort and courage to continue.

“But she was very understanding,” He continued, looking back at Y/N with teary eyes. “Hotch couldn’t talk about it officially because then I would have lost my job. Gideon helped, but even though I have been clean for 3 years 2 months and 28 days now, the cravings never leave. It only increases when you are in pain.”

“I know,” Y/n consoled, continuing to draw circles. She placed the cup with her free hand, and gently, almost hesitantly, placed her head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of hers, wrapping his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer. They both needed the comfort, whether it was physical or emotional.

“My parents divorced when I was 14. It was really messy, both of them were fighting over every single thing. I felt so lost because I always thought that they loved each other you know? Everything got too much for me, so I started to cut myself,” she started, and maybe it is because Spencer was open about his experience that it makes it easier for to do the same.

“Cutting is another outlet for coping with problems. It may help you express feelings you can’t put into words, distract you from your life, or release emotional pain. 90% of people who engage in self harm begin during their teen or pre-adolescent,” Spencer told her, rambling off statistics. He winced outward, knowing that facts were not comforting words to many.

But it brought a small smile on her face, because she knew that facts comforted Spencer, and she knew that it was his way to comfort others. “Then my dad died in an car accident when I turned 17 and made sure that my mom would not get a single penny,” Her voice suddenly shook, remembering the numbness she felt at that time. Spencer tightened his grip, now his turn to draw circles on her hand.  

“He left all of his money and properties to me, and that made my mom so mad. As soon as I turned 18 she threw me out of my house. It didn’t matter really, they both stopped being my parents a long time ago. I guess my dad left everything for me because of guilt. The cuttings made me feel better, but I tried to get better when I started college. I got help but it never went away you know.

“Then I got pregnant.”

“What?” He stuttered, not expecting that. His mind went blank because Y/N never talked about her child, and his eyes widen with the possibility of why.

“A lot people thought it was the biggest mistake of my life. 18 and pregnant, but she was the best thing that ever happened to me. The father got scared and ran off, but it didn’t matter.”

“What’s her name?” He asked tenderly, his heart heavy with sadness for the woman beside him.

“Lily,” she whispered, her voce breaking into a sob. She sniffed back, blinking her eyes to stop crying. It was so hard to even say her name after so long. “It was so weird. She hated lilies because she said people would always give her that rather than roses. But I finally had a family. It was just me and her, but it was more than enough. Everything was perfect. It was hard but so worth it.”

There was nostalgia in her voice, a longing that he knew that would always be there. He choked back his own sobs, trying to stay strong for her. “How did she-“

A shudder went through her body as she shut her eyes closed and clenched her jaw. He felt her shudder and brought her closer to him in order to comfort her. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” He whispered to her, pressing a kiss on her forehead.

“I couldn’t save her. I was the youngest detective at that time with the highest success rate in the state and I couldn’t save her. That’s why I became a profiler, so that others won’t have to go through what I experienced. But I couldn’t save Emily when it mattered the most, and now I feel so useless. If I can’t save those who I love, then what’s the use of this job Spence?”

“I know,” He whispered, burying his head in her hair. She practically sat on his lap, tucking her head in the crook of his neck as they both grieved. They don’t know when they stopped crying or when they both fell asleep on the couch, legs tangled and bodies pressed against each other.

All they know is that it was the first time since they didn’t have a nightmare since Emily’s death.

The moment Y/N wakes up, she instantly knew that it wasn’t her bed. She felt someone’s breathing down her neck, and she opened her eyes to find herself flushed to someone’s chest. She looks up to see Spencer snoring softly and mouth slightly open. She smiled at the cute look on his face and notices that he has his arms wrapped around her waist, making it harder for her to get up. She glances at the coffee table, taking in the blades, syringes and the half empty cups and suddenly realizes that she didn’t have a nightmare.

She had a light headache and her eyes felt dry because of all the crying she did last night (or was it early morning?) and she was squeezed on the couch with Spencer. But all she felt safe, with his arms around her and legs tangled with each other. She settled back onto his arm, closing her eyes and going to the dreamland with him.

It was the weekend, so she knew that they won’t get called in. All she wanted right now was feeling safe, and in his arms she found it.

She hoped that this would never end.

The Slasher of South Hill

A/N: A request from @dakota-dream for one where the reader’s father is a notorious serial killer (much like Ashley) and she doesn’t tell anyone (unlike Ashley, lol). One day, the case gets brought up again, because although her father is in prison, it is believed he may have a partner who has started up again. Although the two aren’t romantically involved, Spencer is right there comforting her and all that good shit. LOL @coveofmemories


The only one on the immediate team that knew was Hotch - and he had to know because of the background check you’d undergone when you started. You remember begging him not to tell anyone.

“What happens if it comes up?” he asked.

You mean someday someone might just come right out and ask, hey, Y/N, is your father a homicidal maniac? “You think that’s just going to come up in conversation, Hotch?” you said with a taut smile. “I don’t think it’s going to come up. If god forbid, someday, something comes about that leads us as a team back to my father, then I’ll come clean, but until that point, I really don’t feel like announcing that kind of information. Like, hello, my name is Y/N, and my father killed 10 women while I was in high school. Kind of a conversation killer.”

He smiled at your starkness. “I’ll of course keep it to myself, but just so you know, I’m sure everyone would be able to separate you from your father. You’re not the same.”

“No,” you said. Thank fucking god for that. “But I am who I am because of the disgusting and despicable things he did. And I really hate the idea of being associated with him. Hence the last name change.” As soon as you turned 18, you legally changed your last name to your mother’s maiden name. It was kind of an old lady last name, but it was sure as shit better than being associated with your father in any way. 

He nodded your way - a silent affirmation that he would keep your deep, dark secret. As you left the office that day, you though that with any luck, nothing would ever lead the team back to your father and that way you’d never have to tell anyone about what he was doing in your neighborhood as you were asleep in your bed.


But now…

Now, as you stared at the TV screen, you took in the images before you, thinking how similar the two women looked to your father’s victims. 

Your grandmother, his father, had tried to abort him when she was pregnant. She claimed she knew her child would be evil. But the failed attempt led her to give birth at eight months, and it was a troublesome birth at that. The cord was wrapped around his neck for an extended period of time. Honestly, your father probably didn’t stand a chance with the genes he’d inherited, the house he grew up in, and the traumatic birth he’d suffered. Even before he was born, his surroundings spelled serial killer.

While you were going to school and playing soccer, unaware of the insane bullshit that was about to unfold, your father was killing ten women in your neighborhood and the surrounding areas that looked an awful lot like your grandmother did when she was young. Your father’s case was so oedipal is was cliche. 

As a home security installer, he had the best access anyone could possibly have. At the drop of a hat, he knew what women were vulnerable, how he could get into their homes, how long he could be there without getting caught, and so, could fully prepare whatever he needed to bring to their homes so he could torture them. Once inside, 100 positive that he wouldn’t be interrupted by anyone, he knocked the women out and tied them down to a bed, waiting for them to wake before he started his sadistic routine. First, he would make small cuts on their bodies with an extremely sharp knife - not enough to draw much blood, but enough to painful. You remember hearing a recording of one of his prison tapes where he said how that was always his favorite part, when they realized they would never make it out of their ordeal alive. It always happened quickly, but it was the part that made him the happiest. He would increase the depth and length of his cuts until the women were begging for death at which point he’d strangle them. After they were gone, he’d open them up, taking the reproductive organs as trophies. When he’d been caught, he proudly showed the authorities the ten jars he’d kept, the organs perfectly preserved so he could look at them whenever he wanted.

“Our two victims are suburban women, cut pre-mortem, strangled to death and then opened up post-mortem,” Hotch said. “The reproductive organs were removed.” When he looked at you, you could feel it. This would be the moment you’d have to share your deep, dark secret. The similarities were too much for this to be a coincidence.

As Spencer looked on, taking in each and every gory detail of the victims, he said what you’d hoped he wouldn’t. “The torture beforehand, the cause of death and the removal of the organs, plus the look of the victims make this look very much like the case of Kenneth Stanford, The Slasher of South Hill.”

Everyone started spewing out theories and possibilities as you sat there quietly, trying to build up the courage to say what you needed to say. Once you had, you gave Hotch a look. “Anything to add, Y/N?”

“You all know me as Y/F/N Y/L/N, but that’s my mother’s maiden name. Until I was 18, I was a Stanford. The Slasher of South Hill is my father.”

Pretty Little Liar! Ashton

Words: 3.3k

Warning: Smut, Ashton kinda fucks you with a lolly. But it’s ok I swear.

Summary: Y/N had been getting text’s from ‘A’, threatening her to sext and send nudes. Only to find out he was going to be at her very own Halloween party, so they will meet face to face and be face to face with other parts of the body. (69 if you catch my drift;) 


I reached my hand in my pocket, feeling my phone buzz and ding inside the confinement. I was currently setting up for my halloween party that I was holding tonight and I had been getting all sorts of messages. Mostly people confirming the time and if they can bring booze, well duh. I placed my thumb on the screen opening up my phone and clicking onto messages. I sighed and tapped onto the message, it was yet another message from ‘A’. ‘A’ had been texting me for the past couple of week’s, they were a nightmare. 

They had been sending through messages asking for nudes or asking me to sext and if I didn’t they threatened me with video files that could get me into trouble. Last year wasn’t my best year and someone had caught it on tape. So as anyone would I reported it, but the person behind ‘A’ leaked a video of me stealing a file from our headmasters office. It was one of my friends medical file, but they gave me a week detention as I had no proof it was hers. And breaking into the headmasters office was frowned upon. So since then I’ve been dealing with everything ‘A’ tells me, other wise other things will spill. 

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Ignoti Nulla Cupido (10/).

Prompt: Nat came to you in order to keep her and Tony’s promise to keep you safe, but how would they react when they’ll learn about the secret you’ve been keeping since you left Bucky’s side?

Word Count: 703.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader.

Warnings: Sligh angst, just to keep on with the tradition.

A/N: Filler chapter guys, but I needed to write this so you would be able to get a glimpse at who Chace is.

Previous Part - Next Part.

Originally posted by lovetheworldlife

(Y/N) kept staring through the window, Chace driving next to her not speaking. It was comforting, Chace always knew when to talk to her or just when to hold her if she needed to. But this time it was different, they were no longer two kids that were trained together for several years due to their abilities.

Now they were both adults, one of them in need for the other. And Chace was never one to back off of her, he would always be there if she called or texted.

So when he got her text about her and James leaving the town they were living because the infamous Natasha Romanoff came searching for her claiming to be a real danger and that she needed to get back with her former team, he dropped off everything and came to the States.

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Anonymous request for SpencerxReader in which the reader is becoming continually distracted by Reid’s face :)

Originally posted by toyboxboy

Paperwork in itself is tedious. The repetitive filling out of the same blanks over and over and over can lull a person to sleep. 





ID Number?

The monotony is torturous. 

I much prefer the days when we’re on a case, out there chasing bad guys, working our minds, staying up all hours, stressing ourselves out, pushing and pushing until we solve a case. Save a life. 

Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes we fail, sometimes the victim dies, sometimes the bad guy gets away. And on those days, I find myself yearning for the paperwork. They say the grass is always greener on the other side, right? 

Bored by my paperwork, I looked up and caught sight of a concentrated Spencer Reid sitting at his desk across from me. His head was bent slightly down as he studied the page before him. A pen rested in his long fingers, and locks of wild curly hair fell across his forehead, casting shadow on bits of his smooth skin. His lips were slightly parted, and I watched as his tongue flickered out to wet them, as he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, a habit of his when he’s focused. His nose twitched as he concentrated, his face crinkling slightly as he scribbled something onto whatever he was writing. 

Spencer has a cute nose. 

Wait. What?

I shook my head and returned to my paperwork, filling out questions about where the case took place, how long we were there, what the role of my team was in which situation. 

A few minutes later, I heard a soft sigh and glanced back up at Reid. 

He was still concentrating, and small lines had appeared between his eyes. His lashes cast shadows onto his cheeks, light and delicate. I swallowed as I watched his pretty hazel eyes flicker to the top of the page. Forcing myself to tear my eyes away from Spencer Reid was becoming more and more difficult. 

I managed to do it, though, forcing my eyes back to my own desk. 

Unit leader?

SSA Aaron Hotchner. 

List of other team members? 

 Derek Morgan. David Rossi. Jennifer Jareau. Emily Prentiss. Penelope Garcia. 

Spencer Reid. 

Right. Spencer Reid. I glanced back up at him. He was biting his lip again. I wondered what it would be like to do that myself. 

What? Why am I thinking of biting Spencer Reid’s lip? I sighed, trying to pull myself together, and watched as Spencer brought his coffee to his lips and took a sip. How did anyone make drinking coffee look that sensual without even trying? 

Okay. This was enough. I stood from my chair and leaded against Reid’s desk. He looked up at me, mild surprise and curiosity on his features. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Spencer, you’re distracting me,” I said lowly. 

“I am?” he asked hesitantly. “How?” 

“You’re too damn attractive, and it’s distracting,” I sighed. He stared at me for a moment, and then smiled slightly. 

“I would apologize, but I’m not sure there’s really anything I can do about that,” he said softly. I sighed and he laughed, returning to his paperwork, his cheeks just barely pink. 

I looked over at him from my desk and sighed, knowing there was no hope. 

Wherever I Go

Part Ten of the “Forever” series.

Read He Doesn’t Know
Read She Knows
Read Me Too
Read Sing Me To Sleep
Read Closer
Read Let Me Hold You
Read Love Me Like You Do
Read Say You Won’t Let Go
Read In The Name Of Love

A/N: As always, thank you so much to my amazing beta @shadowandsoul
A/N2: If you want to be tagged in anything, send me an ask.

Words: 1194

Dean’s Point Of View 

           “Dean!” I could hear Y/N’s blood curdling scream from where I was standing in the kitchen.

           I ran as fast as I could to our bedroom. Y/N was standing in the corner, “What’s wrong?” I asked.

           She pointed to the corner I couldn’t see. As soon as I turned, I was on guard, “How the hell did you get in here?”

           Crowley smirked at me, “I have my ways, Dean.”

           “Get out,” I demanded.

           “Or what?” he chuckled, “Dean, you know I don’t take well to being told what to do. I just wanted to come and see your sweet soulmate.”

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warpsbyherself  asked:

What is Dishonored about, really? (Like I can read the blurb on steam, but that doesn't tell me about why it is Amazing.)

Oh boy, where do I start. In the original game you are playing as Corvo, the personal bodyguard to Empress Jessamine—your implied lover—and you are returning to Dunwall from a secret mission which only you could be trusted with. Upon your return the Spy Master Burrows—who is encouraging Jessamine to basically slaughter the plague victims and wall up the city—remarks that he’s surprised by your arrival, seen as how you’re three days early. You don’t get to interact with him over this as he saunters off, presumably to be creepy somewhere else. Once you hand Jessamine your report, she gives a brief account of how the plague is killing the entire city, and how no one is willing to help them. At which point Princess Emily, your implied mutual daughter says “why are there men on the roof?” And that’s when the magical assassins come rippling out of the air, holding you back with magic, making you watch as Jessamine is murdered and Emily stolen into thin air. As you’re dropped to the ground you reach for the dying Empress who begs you to find Emily, before dying in your arms. At that moment the Spy Master and High Overseer Capmbell—sort of like the Arch Bishop of Dunwall—come rushing up with some guards, yelling that you have killed the Empress. You get taken down by a blow to the head, and the title screen comes up—Dishonored.

After that you awaken in prison, being tortured by Burrows and Campbell, who want to make you sign a confession admitting that your murdered Jessamine and stole Emily. You do not, and are sentenced to execution. The night before your execution however, a guard slips a key through your door, telling you it comes from a friend. You escape your cell, and this is where your choice as a player begins, either to carve your way through the rest of the game like a butcher, or sneak your way past guardsmen, merely doing their job. This becomes known as your chaos level. You escape, and are taken to a safe house and introduced to a group of people calling themselves Loyalists who believe in your innocence and want to find Emily and put her back on the throne. After this segment ends you go to bed and wake up in the Void, summoned there by a God known as The Outsider. The best way I can describe him is a cross between Loki and Cthulhu, but devoid of any actual evil. He’s just chaos, raw and ageless, watching the universe tick by with detached boredom. Occasionally something interesting happens, or to be more precise, an interesting someone happens and he hones in on them, offers them incredible power, then sits back to see what they do with it. Will they use it for good, or more likely, will they use it for evil. He also gives you a ‘gift’ of a beating heart which breathes secrets into your ear and helps you along your way. (spoiler alert, it’s Jessamine’s heart, this is why everyone in the fandom who read my first chapter of Sweet Music and the line about the heart tried to murder me, and are still trying to murder me for not updating it)

There’s various missions, all of them geared toward finding Emily, each with multiple means of completing the goal, some of them are intense and dramatic, others are just cracktastic (Lady Boyle’s mansion anyone?). The real genius in the game however, is in the subtle ways in which the characters change and react towards you, based on your chaos level. If you are a one man rampage, the world becomes more hostile toward you, the game becoming harder and harder to complete as more guards are stationed to try and curb your slaughter, and more plague rats breed, feasting on the corpses you leave behind. People react to you with fear too, and lose sight of their own morality. Which is incredibly evident in Emily, who once you find her latches on to you as her emotional guide. If you’re committing acts of murder left right and center, she will think that brutality is the only way to survive and be made harsh by it, her childlike drawings devolving into nightmare death scenes, her behavior erratic. If however you glide through the world only ever occasionally bonking someone on the head and find them a nice spot to sleep it off, the world is quieter, there’s less panic in the streets, and Emily will remain playful and childlike, drawing sweet pictures for you, including one that says “daddy”.

I wont ruin the finale for you, but lets just say your actions greatly impact how it all ends. Either Emily will become a good, wise ruler because you have shown her that good men can change the world, or she will know nothing but bloodshed, the need to be feared, and the chaos never ends. Of course, there’s also the third ending, where you can literally stand back and watch the world burn, listening to her scream your name for help as she falls to her death. (needless to say that final one is not canon, since Emily is the protagonist of the long awaited second game)

In the DLC you play as Daud, the assassin who murdered the Empress, and that is also interesting, and is affected by how you play the game as Corvo. Daud you see, regrets killing Jessamine, and is doing all he can to help save Emily from another unknown threat. Like Corvo, he is gifted powers by the Outsider, and like Corvo, his actions will dictate the outcome of the game, far more than any other game I’ve ever played that boasts a moral ranking system. Daud’s segment ends with a face-off with Corvo, and depending on how you played as Corvo, Daud will either live or die, regardless of how ‘good’ Daud’s actions have been in his dlc content. (I believe it is now canon, that he lives, but my god that moment when you fall from the roof and into the water bleeding out with Corvo standing over you is amazing)

There;s some other really amazing NPC characters with really rich and diverse history. I’m basically just in love with the whole thing and cannot wait for the second game.

Also the fandom is like 90% crack and unbridled emotional meltdown. It’s kind of great in a “I hate myself and want to hurt everyone with feels” sort of way…but then I’ve been told I have a particularly mean streak at writing angst fic *grin*

A Blast from the Past

A/N: So i write again! This idea have been bugging me for a while so I had to write it down, and the blonde thing, I just have to put that in here. oh, and I have an ‘ask’ button on my page now, I’d love to get some reviews for my writing, that keeps me going.


It’s in Spencer Reid’s POV

We, me and Morgan, were in a hospital, we were going to interview the only living victim from our latest case. I introduced myself to the doctor, “My name is Dr.—“ I stopped, she seemed really familiar, “(y/n)?”

“What? No, my name is Dr. (y/n) and your name should be Dr. Spencer Reid,” she chuckled.

I threw my arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug, “Oh God, I’ve missed you, (y/n),” I kissed the top of her head.

I didn’t want to let go of her but, “Hey, Kid, the hell is goin’ on here?” Morgan interrupted.

I pulled back from the hug, laughing, “Sorry. Morgan, this is (y/n), my friend—“

“Only,” she winked, “At least until you got the entire basketball team to worship you,”

“My only friend in high school. (y/n), this is Derek Morgan, my co-worker,”

“What? I don’t know Pretty Boy got a hot friend, why didn’t you introduce us sooner, Reid?” he mused and shook her hand.

“Pretty Boy, huh?” she gave me an amused look, “Well, I can’t say I disagree, you are pretty, but I can’t say the same for your hair, though,”

“Well, if I know I would be seeing you today, I would’ve gotten a haircut yesterday. And I’d love to introduce you guys sooner, but she disappear three years, six month, and seventeen days after we graduate, so I can’t actually do that. And she wasn’t even—” that hot. Is ‘hot’ even the right term to describe her? I felt my face getting hot and I could see Morgan laughing.

“Alright, I’m sure you two gentlemen are not here to get to know me. So, how can I help you?” she saved me from being Morgan laughingstock.

There are some questions I’d like to ask her but she was right, we’re here to work, “We’d like to see James Miller, he’s supposedly admitted here—“

“Eighteen hours ago, yeah, skull fracture, concussion, broken ribs, possible retrograde-amnesia. Longest surgery I’ve ever went on. Hell, whatever happened to that guy, I wish he’s got the amnesia or else he has to deal with PTSD and that’s not fun. He’s in room 427, you guys can go there, I have to check on my other patients,” she bid her goodbye and left us there.


An hour later we were already back in the precinct. Reported back to the team what we found from the victim, which is nothing, (y/n) was right, James miller got an amnesia from the torture he’d endured. (y/n). God, how I’ve missed her. She was the one who kept me sane in high school. Twelve years I never heard from her. After we graduated high school, we kept our line of communication, we call each other, we send letters, we meet up in parks whenever we were back in Vegas on our college breaks. And then out of nowhere the calls stopped, the letters never came to my hands, no more—

“…. Reid? You heard me?” I heard Hotch voice from afar.

“Spence, you’re okay?” JJ piped up.

“What? I—uh, yeah, I, I’m okay, sorry I zoned out. What did you say?”

“I want you to work on the geographical profile,” Hotch said.

“Reid, you sure you’re okay? You seem different, what happen at the hospital?” Emily turned her head from me to Morgan.

“Pretty Boy got himself a girl, a hot one I might add,”  Morgan grinned from ear to ear.

“WHAT?” Emily and JJ spoke in unison.

“I know you got that in you, Kid,” Rossi chuckled.

“Oh my god, Reid got a girl. What’s her name, Boy Wonder, I have to check on her background, to make sure she isn’t a serial killer or something,” Garcia giggled, I didn’t even know Garcia was listening over the phone.

“I’m fine. She’s not my girlfriend, and don’t look for her information, Garcia, she’s not a serial killer,”  I left and asked an officer to give me a state-wide map and worked on the geographical profile.


“Garcia, pull out the names of male in his late thirties to mid forties, who owns silver sedan,”

“It’s still a long list, Boss. How do I narrow it down?”

“Narrow it to people who live within two miles radius from the park where all the bodies were found,” I added.

“Reid, hey! I’ve checked all women who works at that hospital and this far no one has suspicious background, I can dig deeper if you just give me her name, because my Chocolate Thunder won’t even—“

“Garcia,” Hotch interrupted, thank God, she could go all day if he didn’t stop her.

“Right, I’m sorry, Sir. So I’ve narrowed it down and I got two names who fit your profile, Adam Harris and Joe Robinson. Before you ask, the addresses already in your phones,”

“Thanks, Garcia. Dave, you take Reid and JJ to the first house, the rest we’ll go to the second,” Hotch said as he put on his bulletproof vest

The ride to the address was quiet, we got a call from Morgan telling us they’re heading to our address as well, they went to the second address and it was clear, the house was empty, looked like no one lived there in the past month.

When we entered the house, we knew we got the right house, we were in the unsub’s house. The house was a mess. There were some blood spatter on the floor and walls. “Adam Harris, FBI,” Rossi stated, “We know you’re angry at Ronald Parker because your wife left you and chose him over you. But killing people who look like him won’t do you any good. If you give yourself up we’ll go easy on you,”

“And what’s in that for me, anyway? I’ve already killed those men, giving up or not I’ll go to jail anyway,” there he was, the unsub, he’s got a gun. And then I found myself laying on the ground. I felt cold. That’s when I realized I got shot. Right above my bulletproof vest.

“Spence! Spencer! Look at me, open your eyes,” JJ came into view and mumbled. Why was she mumbling?

“We got an agent down, we need medic,” I heard Rossi’s voice. Why did he sound so far away? 

Then everything went dark.


I opened my eyes slightly, blinded by the lights, I closed my eyes again. I was in a hospital. “Spence, you’re awake?” JJ’s voice, I nodded. “Good. I’ll get the doctor,” I saw the rest of my team sitting across the room, eating takeouts.

JJ came back with the doctor, (y/n), a few minutes later, “Hello again, Doctor Reid,” she mused. I returned her greetings and didn’t say anything. We spent a good few minutes in silence when she checked on my vitals. I could feel eyes on me, my team’s, but I didn’t mind. I took time to look at her face.

“So where is your white hair?” I touched her now-brown hair, brushed it away from her face. She was done checking my vitals. She told me I could leave in a few hours.

“It was platinum blonde, duh,” she laughed, “And I still am a blondie, just not at work. Why? You have a ‘thing’ for blondie now?” I flushed. Now that I think about it, maybe I do have a ‘thing’ for women with blonde hair, all of my past crushes were blonde, not that there were many, but Lila Archer, JJ, Ashley Seaver all have blonde hair. Maeve had red hair, yes, but I didn’t know that when I got closer to her, and I was interested in her mind I didn’t even think about her appearance. “Oh my God, you are! You’re blushing!” (y/n)’s voice startled me, “I was joking but you actually have a ‘thing’ for blondie,” she bursted out laughing with my team as well.

“Hilarious, (y/n),” I tried to mask my embarassment by trying to sound stern, and failed, stern didn’t fit me.

“Sorry, but, let me ask you this, did you really missed me that much so you decided to be my patient?”

“You make it sounds like I got shot on purpose, (y/n),”

“Reid, you’re not gonna introduce us to your girl?” Emily spoke.

“Oh, like Morgan didn’t just tell you what happen yesterday when we met (y/n),” I mused, “This is (y/n), my high school friend. (y/n), these are my co-worker, my team, you’ve met Morgan and JJ, Jennifer Jareau, I mean, the rest is Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, and Aaron Hotchner,”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you guys, and David Rossi, I read all of your books, you’re a great writer, you should write more,” she smiled.

After a few minutes of getting to know each other—my team basically bombarded (y/n) with questions—they said goodbye and went to the hotel, left me in the hospital with (y/n). “So, what do you say we get dinner together?” I asked her.

“I usually don’t take my patient’s offer,”

“Then discharge me, so I’m no longer your patient, please?” she didn’t say anything, so I tried again, “I’ll get a haircut,” I put on my hopeful face.

“Then I’ll be a blondie,” she replied with a smile.

I’ve never been so eager to get a haircut before.

Happiness? I Do: Chapter 28

TITLE OF STORY: Happiness? I Do.


AUTHOR: winterheart17


STORY GENRE: Romance, Drama, Erotica

STORY SUMMARY: Everyone knows the making of a happy ending.  It starts with ‘hello’ and it ends with ‘I do’.  Or does it? What happens in between?  What happens after?  When Tom and Wednesday said ‘I do’, they believed it was their happy ending.  But 3 years down the road, everything has fallen apart.  That’s when they learn that ‘I do’ encompasses a lot of things, that marriage is hard work and just because two people love each other, it doesn’t necessarily mean they can make it till the end.  Now both of them have to ask themselves if it is worth it to hold on or is it time to let go?


STORY WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: Emily and Wednesday meet and oh, a Daniel-centric chapter with a twist at the end ;) Unbeta-ed, all mistakes are mine :)

FEEDBACK: I really don’t know how to feel about this chapter but I really wanted to push through and get it out there so feedback would be really amazing! Thank you all for your love and for reading <3

Prologue   Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3    Chapter 4   Chapter 5 Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8   Chapter 9   Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12   Chapter 13  Chapter 14   Chapter 15    Chapter 16   Chapter 17   Chapter 18   Chapter 19 Chapter 20     Chapter 21   Chapter 22    Chapter 23   Chapter 24  Chapter 25   Chapter 26   Chapter 27

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MoM NYC listening party

ok so I’m going to try and make this coherent as possible, but no promises lmao first off I need to thank Saf @zaynsbaji who gave me this amazing opportunity to not only attend the listening party but to meet Zayn as well. Saf you are literally an angel and I love. Thank you so much!!!

ok so where to start? Um I think I’ll just write about my overall experience and then get on to how I felt about the music. I can already tell this is going to be hella long. 

So Zayn’s team asked that I be there by 8pm. And I live in a suburban town that’s about an hour outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I knew it was going to be tight, but that I had to at least try to get there. And this was huge for me to do by myself. Like, I’m a homebody, I’m an introvert and I don’t go out a whole lot because social interactions drain me lol. But I knew that an opportunity like this would most likely never come again and I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t go. So I told his team I could be there by 8pm, I hopped in the shower, threw on some clothes, jumped in my car and booked it to the train station out in Trenton. Let me tell you, sitting on that train and watching the clock tick closer and closer to 8pm and knowing that i wasn’t going to make it by then was torture. I was DMing one of his team members, Emily, about it but she was very sweet and accommodating. When I told her I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time she told me not to worry and that they would help me get there if need be. Like I’m guessing they were offering to send a car for me if need be lol. Like how nice is that. I got off the train around 845, called Emily and she gave me the address. It turns out the studio was only like 14 mins away so I hailed a taxi (like WHAT) and literally asked him to get me there as fast as he could. And I have to tell you that I’ve only ever been to NYC once before and I was with my mom and didn’t need to know how to navigate the city. It was an experience that’s for sure. 

So we rolled up outside of Jungle City Studios and there were a ton of people waiting outside. I wasn’t sure if they were holding multiple listening parties or what. It turns out they weren’t but it still hadn’t clicked for me yet that they were waiting for Zayn lol. so i met Emily at the door, she checked my ID, and then we went up in the elevator with another girl to the 11th floor. Let me tell you, it didn’t really hit me that I was going to be in an actual professional studio until the elevator doors opened up. It was so nice! and reeked of weed lmao 

so Emily took us to a room to drop off our bags and coats and then she took our phones off of us and led us to the room where everyone else already was. I didn’t realize that we were going to actually be in like the recording booth, but it was pretty sick. There was a good amount of people that were already drunk when I walked into the room. I just remember walking in and smiling at a blonde lady who I later realized was Shareena. I’m telling you I was so oblivious about everything just because I was so happy to be there to listen to the music. So they had already played through the first 4 songs by the time I got there and they were just starting up “She” when I walked in. Emily told us to get some drinks and to just hang out. So I went to the drink table, and I’ll admit i’m hella picky when it comes to alcohol because I don’t like beer and if i’m drinking wine it’s gotta be really fruity lol. So that was all that was left. I was hoping to just have some cranberry and vodka but all the vodka was gone! lmao I actually got to talk to Ned about this at some point, but I’ll get to that later on. So I poured myself some wine, walked around a bit and kind of just hung off to the side by myself. I’m telling you i don’t do these kinds of things where I go somewhere by myself. Like I don’t have a hard time making friends, but I’m more of a sit back and observe kind of person at first and it seemed like everyone already knew each other lol 

So i have to tell you, I had no idea Zayn was going to be there. And apparently everyone else but me knew he was going to be there. Like even after seeing Shareena AND Ned it still hadn’t clicked that Zayn was most likely in the building. So picture this: Me just chillin’, sipping on some wine in a red solo cup, vibin out to the music playing by myself, having a good time. Ned comes in and offers up a round of shots to everyone. I start to move towards Ned and as I do so, I turn my head to look through the glass into the other side of the booth and I shit you not, I locked eyes with Zayn and my jaw literally dropped. I FROZE! I literally was gaping at him like a fish out of water! So i immediately turned to the girl closest to me, who i ended up hanging out with for the rest of the night, and asked her if she knew that Zayn was going to be there and she was like, “yeah they told all of us, and they said don’t stare at him ‘cause it makes him uncomfortable.” LIKE TOO LATE. I ALREADY DID THAT SHIT LMAO. I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself after that for a bit. Like Zayn was just on the other side of the glass watching us listen to his album. It was soooo fucking surreal. Well I definitely needed a shot after that. And a girl, who was already three sheets to the wind and gone lol, was nice and gave me her shot of Jameson (yuck). I downed that shit and grabbed another glass and settled in. 

The girl I was hanging out with, I think her name was Maya, it was really loud in there, was really nice and chill. Overall everyone I interacted with was really nice. I just remember a girl coming up to me and she was like, “You’re just over her vibe’ chilling out to the music.” and like that’s what i was there for you know? I went into it not knowing Z was going to be there and I was just there for the music honestly. I really wanted to hear all of the songs and just take it all in. The fact that Zayn was watching me do this is so insane to me. So me and Maya were just chillin’ the whole time, talking about the music and how proud of Zayn we are. Like it was nice to just focus on the music with someone else and to point out certain lyrics here and there and different rhythms he used. Like the whole album is fucking fire and I am so so so proud of Zayn and all of his hard work. And i just have to note that hearing Zayn’s voice come over the speakers and ask us if we were enjoying the music was so freaking amazing. And he told us to get some more drinks! lol 

Ok so I guess I’ll talk about the different interactions I had with Zayn’s team first. So, back to Ned. Let me just say that he is so freaking cute in person. Like I didn’t realize it was Ned at first, but when i did, phewwwww. I think i’m in love lol. So i was by the drinks and Ned came over and he had just given out a 2nd round of shots and I asked him if there was any more vodka, and he was like “what are you drinkin?” (fucking swoon) and I told him I was just going for some cranberry and vodka, but he was like “i’m sorry there’s no more vodka. I told those idiots to get enough for 25 people and they came back with 1 bottle.” lol, i guess they just assumed everyone would drink beer and wine. which is cool. Everyone I know does, like i said i’m just picky lol. So that was my first Ned interaction. 

After we had listened to the album, he played all of the songs a few times each, Shareena came in and told us to break up into small groups and we would all get to talk to zayn and take pictures with him. So we broke up into groups. I was in the 2nd to last group and it was just me, maya, and this other kid. So we were hanging out in the recording booth still and one of Zayn’s other assistants came in to talk to us. I think her name was Josie? Not sure. I have to say first, that everyone on Zayn’s team is so so nice. They’re all really chill and kind and they really made me feel welcome. Like they were all so easy to talk to. 

So we were chatting with Josie and she asked us what we thought of the album, and I told her it was amazing. Like i mentioned to her that all of the reviews keep saying that it sounds like The Weeknd or Frank Ocean or Miguel, but I made sure to stress to her that Zayn has created his own sound. Like you can tell this is him and this is what he’s been wanting to do for so long. I just kept saying how proud of him I was and how amazing the album is. We also told her that the album is definitely Grammy worthy. And she was like “We all think so too. We keep saying that.” like !!!!!!!!! She then asked us what our favorite was, and we all said TiO. that song is a fucking bop! I think Zayn played it about 5 or 6 times because we all loved it so much. Josie said that TiO is all of their favorites too and that they keep telling Zayn they think it should be the next single. So she asked us how we were liking the singles and I admitted to her that there’s some confusion over what songs are actually singles. And she said BeFour is a promo single, like an instant download like It’s You, But i thought it was supposed to be considered a single? Anyways, she said that right now the single to promote is Like I Would. When Josie told us that they all thought TiO should be a single she said that Zayn really just is going off of what the fans are liking and vibing with. He wants to see what we’re enjoying before he like decides on the singles and stuff. She said that Zayn was really nervous about the listening party and asked her and the rest of his team, “do you think they’ll like it?” like My heart!! OF COURSE WE LIKE IT ZAYN. I just can’t get over that he was so nervous that we wouldn’t like the album and what he’s created. like the only thing that matters to him is that we love the music just as much as he does. God, i love him so much. 

So then it was our turn to go see Zayn and they moved us out into the hallway to wait. So Shareena came in to get us and Ned was walking into the room as well and I kid you not, I don’t even know why i said it, it just slipped out, but i was like “I’m going to shit myself.” I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID IT. Ned was like, “You’re gonna do what? Say it again?” and I was like, “Shit myself. I’m going to shit myself.” he laughed and Shareena laughed and grabbed my hand! She held my hand and was like, “I love you! you are the coolest!”  I AM SO FREAKING EMBARRASSING LMAO. 

So then we were waiting in the hallway, and they gave us our phones back at this point. I even got to talk to Zayn’s bodyguard! I turned my phone on and he was like “Is Zayn your background?” and I was like “Yeah!” And he was like, “Which picture is it?” LIKE WHAT IS MY LIFE? So then I showed him that it was one of the photos from Zayn’s NME shoot. I was like, “listen when we saw the tattoos everyone online was losing their minds.” he just laughed at me. 

We also stood and chatted with Emily while waited. She asked us if we liked the album how we were feeling about it and everything and we just reiterated what we had said to Josie earlier. Then she asked where we were from and she asked about me coming from Pennsylvania, and I told her how I told my boss I needed to go and not work overtime lol. that I just told them it was an emergency and left for New York as fast as I could lmao. Then Emily was talking about how hard he’s been working on the album and how excited they all are that we loved it. I forget how we got on the topic but I did ask her if Zayn really is working on his 2nd album already and she was like “I can’t talk about that, but nice try.” Lol I HAD TO TRY. I’m just gonna take her non-answer as a yes. We talked about a lot more with her, but i honestly can’t remember what. Just know she is so nice just like the rest of Zayn’s team. i do remember telling her though that March 25, 2015 was worth it. That I honestly felt like the world was ending when he left, but that everything that has happened since has been so amazing and that we were all thankful that he was turning a sad day into a happy one.

ok ok, so then we got to go in and meet Zayn!!!! He shook all of our hands and I can still hear perfectly when he asked me, “You alright?” and I know this is how Brits basically say, what’s up, but i just wanted to be like NO ZAYN I AM NOT ALRIGHT. YOU JUST SLAYED MY ENTIRE LIFE. but i reigned myself in and was like, “yeah i’m good, thanks”. So we sat down to talk to him and he is sooo freaking sweet and kind and just really nice. He’s really soft spoken as well. I didn’t get to say much apart from telling him my name, where I’m from, and how old I am. There were only 3 of us in our group and the one kid did most of the talking. It’s cool though cause he was asking Zayn questions about the music and how he was feeling. Zayn talked about working with MYKL. He said that he’d heard the beat to Drunk about a year ago and immediately was like who are these guys? I have to work with them! He asked us all how old we are because he wanted to get an idea how the different age ranges were feeling about the music. Then the kid asked Zayn how he was feeling about the music and the whole experience. And he said he’s really enjoying it. That he loves the song Drunk at the moment. He asked us what our favorites were and we talked about TiO and Wrong and how his and Kehlani’s voice sound amazing together. I don’t know what the exact question was but it was along the lines of whether Zayn always knew he was going to go solo. And he said that he knew he was going to, that he auditioned as a solo artist, and this was what he envisioned himself doing. Ya’ll I just love him so much. He’s so sweet and down to earth. 

SO then on to the picture we took! So Shareena said she could take the picture or we could do a selfie, and I wanted a selfie, like up close shot, so I said “Zayn could we take a selfie?” and in his lil cute ass accent he was like “Yeah sure, let’s do this.” Akjnfinsdfjasdkjnafs. Then I asked him if I could get a video for my friend (Saf) because she was the reason I’m here, (and i was gonna try and get him to say hi to Giselle too @takewhatimwillingtogive ) and he was like “Yeah sure.” so he like gets in real close and goes to put his arm around me and here i went again with embarrassing myself, but i turned to him and i was like “I’m so sorry my hair is all over the place,” and Zayn was just like, “Noo, you’re good, you’re good.” LIKE WHY DID I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT? SOMEBODY BAN ME FROM INTERACTING WITH CELEBS EVER AGAIN. So then he came in close again, put his arm around me and i was like “1, 2, 3, cheeseeee”. I am SUCH A LOSER lmao I wasn’t able to get the video because Zayn still had to meet with another group and Shareena said they had a lot to do that night. I’m kind of kicking myself for not taking more than one pic while I could, but I LOVE the one I got. Like I am cheesin’ SO HARD in the picture. I couldn’t control it! Also I was expecting to be hella taller than him, but he’s like my height. He was hunched down a little in the pic I think he might be an inch taller than me though, I’m 5′8. My friends all asked me if Zayn was high in the picture and what he smelled like lol. I couldn’t tell if he was high or not. He was just really chill, but I feel like he’s always like this. I did see Ned at some point during the listening party, light up but I wasn’t sure if it was a cig or something us lol. But Zayn didn’t smell like weed lmao. I can’t even really describe what he smelled like. Like, it wasn’t a strong cologne or anything, he just smelled really fresh and really good lol. Like i think it might have been his natural scent or something. 

So then after we took our pictures I said thank you to him and then we went back out into the hall but we didn’t leave right away. We hung around and talked some more with his team. I was talking to two guys, and I don’t know if they just worked there or if they were apart of Zayn’s team but they were really cool. Like they sat and talked about the music with me. The one dude asked me how i liked the album and what my favorites were so we started talking about TiO. Like about the beat and how there’s this sick, little brrrapp drum sound in the middle of it. And he was saying that he isn’t sure what song it was but it might have been TiO that was originally written as a rap, but Zayn was like, lets slow it down and let me see how it sounds when I sing it. And he was saying that he couldn’t believe it and told Zayn to rap it for them, so then Zayn literally just rapped the song for them. So we got to share in our mutual surprise over the fact that Zayn can rap lmao. We talked about the pillowtalk remix with Lil Wayne and how surprised we were when Zayn rapped on it but that we loved it. Then we talked about how Zayn is dropping MoM on the anniversary of him leaving and they had no idea it was the anniversary lol.

Then I had another interaction with Ned, who i seriously want to marry. So Ned was asking us again how we felt about the album and I was like “i loved it” and he was like, “I know you did! I saw you vibin’ to the music!” Like WHAT? So then I was like, “well yeah I was vibin’ Ned, it was so good!” And Ned just went on to say that he was watching me vibin out to the album in the corner and like really listening to the music. Like that he knew everyone there was listening and what not, but he pointed out that he could tell I was really really there to listen to the music and just that he appreciated that. like whattttt ?????!!!!! He didn’t say Zayn was watching me, but I’m just gonna take this as confirmation that Ned pointed out to Z that I was groovin’ so fucking hard to his music. I hope he pointed it out to Zayn and that he saw I was really really enjoying it. So then after that we said our goodbyes, and we were off! Like i really can’t believe last night happened to me. It still feels like a dream. I didn’t get home till like 3 Am but it was so fucking worth it. 

I just have to say that meeting Zayn was definitely the highlight of the night, but getting to talk to his team was amazing as well. They were all so kind and welcoming to us. It’s so nice to see him surrounded by people who genuinely want him to succeed. Like you can tell they really love and support him so much. It warms my heart so much and makes me want to cry. Zayn’s got a great team behind him. 

So now do i talk about the music? Most of you have already heard everything now because the album is out in other countries and this post is already hella long lol. I think I’ll just mention that my favorites are definitely Drunk, Wrong, TiO, Rearview, and Golden. Zayn played the Target bonus tracks for us and I fucking love the songs. I can’t remember any stand out lyrics from Golden but I remember it being upbeat, but it was like making me really emotional ?? like I wanted to cry. 

All in all the whole album is amazing and Zayn worked really fucking hard on it. Every song is a so so good. And this isn’t even me being biased. It’s very rare for me to love every song on an album, but Zayn did that shit. Like he really went all out. I am so so proud of him and I can’t wait to watch the rest of the world fall in love with him. GRAMMYS HERE WE COME. 

anonymous asked:

Hey screwball ninja, I was wondering if you still think Rumbelle has a chance despite his killing Zelena and lying to Belle.

I was going to save this for my massive Season Finale review, but I love you guys so I’m giving you a sneak peak.

Of course Rumbelle has a chance— but they’re probably going to have one HELL of a break-up next season. Though I loved Imp!Rumple in the season finale, I wanted Regina to open up a portal to the Looney Tunes dimension and drop a boulder on Mr. Gold’s head for what he’s trying to pull with Belle.

What Mr. Gold deserves with this ‘fake dagger’ malarkey

I mean, Gold’s been shady with his promises and attempted murder against Belle’s wishes before (Regina), he’s withheld key information before (e.g., “what happened to your son?” and “what happened to your wife?”), and he’s committed cold-blooded murder without telling Belle before (RIP Tamara)— but this is the first time he’s manipulated Belle.

I’m about due for another kidnapping, sweetheart— can’t we put a MasterLock on this incredibly dangerous magical object?

No no, my little alibi— we have nothing to fear from Trusty McStabby, the 100% genuine representation of our mutual trust. For wedding colors I was thinking Red for the blood of my enemies, and Black for my cold, cold heart.

Trusty McStabby approves of this plot device

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1. Not Just Another Day

The number one most irritating noise in the entire existence of the universe, is the noise of an alarm clock buzzing. Because that’s all it does, is buzz and buzz and buzz until you finally roll over and whack it hard enough to get it to shut up. I mean crying babies at 4 am is a close second to the most annoying thing, believe me, I know exactly what that’s like, but alarm clocks are the most “I’d rather be deaf,” annoying sounds in the world.

Yes it’s Friday and I should be waking up like Cinderella, but no, I’m definitely Ana in the comparison of how realistic people sleep compared to Disney princesses. Even if I am a drooling, hair everywhere, mess like Ana, there’s no way in hell I’m singing after I get ready. Who even does that, life isn’t High School Musical, you can’t just sing whenever you want.

If I did sing in every situation I could, everyone in the world would be deaf. Then they wouldn’t have to deal with alarm clocks. Maybe I’d go deaf if I sang more.

“Andy, get up!”

Queue the third most irritating noise in the entire existence of the universe.

I let out a huge groan, and fall out of bed. I literally fall, like I thought there was more bed, but nope. So here I sit, lying on the false carpet of my cold bedroom, questioning life. It’s 6:53, on a Friday morning, do I really have to wake up and go to school?

“Andy, now, you can’t be late again.”

Yes, I really have to wake up. Groaning again I thrust myself up off my floor and trudge out of my room, to the bathroom. Thank his that I’m the only one who sleeps in the basement, because there’s no way I could share a bathroom with any of my siblings.

Moms in the laundry room, trying to find something to wear like always. I don’t understand why she cares so much, she just sits behind a desk all day, aside from when she’s selling people houses. All I ever wear are sweats and on my good days maybe some jeans.

Today is not one of my good days. After I finish in the bathroom, I zombie walk to my bedroom, hearing my mother sigh before I hear her footsteps go up the stairs. I shut my door and get dressed, throwing on a fresh pair on sweats, and a hoody over the t shirt I’m wearing now. I throw my hair up, not caring what it looks like. After I throw on some socks and shoes, I grab my phone, keys, and backpack.

“Andy!” My mother screams for the third time this morning.

“I’m coming!” I shout back as I stomp up the stairs.

“Watch your tone with me young lady.” Mom scolds me, which I return with an eye roll.

“Bye mom! Have a wonderful day!” I shout sarcastically as I slam the back door, and open the drivers side door of my crappy Honda.

“God it’s about time.” Brandon sighs, turning on the radio as soon as I turn on the car.

“Oh shut up you little insect.” I whisper and smack his hand away from the radio.

I glance in the rear view mirror to make sure that Ruth is safe in her car seat. After I finally pick a good radio station, I pull out of our garage and head to Ruth’s nanny. Since she’s only a year and a half old, and both of the parents in our household work full time, she goes to the nanny every day while everyone’s at school and practice, etc.

Once I’m outside of Jenny’s house, and the car is off I carefully take Ruth out of the car, in order not to wake her. Even though she is a deep sleeper, waking her up while she’s sleeping peacefully is not a good idea.

“Good morning Andy!” Jenny chirps in her irritating barbie doll voice.

“Hi.” I glance up at her, then return my gaze to Ruth.

“Okay, Ruthie, see you tonight. Have fun with Barbie.” I whisper as I kiss her forehead.

Reluctantly I hand her over to Jenny.

“See you Monday morning! Have a great day Andy!” She widely grins at me.

I nod at her and walk away. I continually am amazed that no matter how loud or how much Jenny talks, Ruth never wakes up. But when I even talk in my normal voice, she wakes up screaming.

As I drive away from Jenny’s house, I crank the radio, and drum my fingers on the steering wheel. Brandon groans, and I grin evilly, then I start to sing (more like screech) along with the song. His hands immediately go to his ears, as he shouts at me to shut up.

Two seconds later we pull up to our school, right next to the gym entrance where I always drop him off. I slam on the brakes and turn town the radio.

“Get out.”

“Gladly, god you’re such a freak!” He exclaims then slams the door and runs into the building.

I roll my eyes, and drive away, completely use to the names that he, and everyone else call me.

Once I’m at Starbucks my mood brightens slightly. Coffee makes everything better.

“The usual.” I say to the worker, and he punches it into the computer, knowing my order by heart, since I do come here every day; a caramel macchiato and a plain buttered croissant.

By the time I’ve driven back to the school, found a parking spot, and eaten my croissant the tardy bell rang ten minutes ago. I lazily stroll through the school continuing to sip on my warm coffee. Eventually I end up in the office, signing a late slip. I sloppily write that “Starbucks or school, you choose.” As the excuse, and once it’s signed by an ornery woman who’s name I still haven’t cared enough to learn, I head to math.

“Ms. Ross, how nice of you to join us.” my balding math teach exclaims once I hand him my slip.

“It’s great to be here, Bill.” I wave my had behind me as I walk to my seat, earning a few snickers from the class.

“As I was saying…” Blah blah blah, it’s too early to think about math right now.

I doodle all over my binder as Mr. Reed teaches something I will most likely never use in life.

No wonder I’m failing this class.

I sigh, and attempt to pay attention to what he’s saying but it’s so incredibly boring.

When the bell finally rings, I lazily exit the room, ignoring the looks that Mr. Reed. The next hour I have is Financial Literacy, and I don’t pay attention in that, Physics, or English. Lunch rolls around, and I go through my usual routine; buy nasty food that is only half edible, find an empty seat, eat the stuff that doesn’t taste like cardboard, dump the rest, sit by locker until the bell rings, listening to my musical choice of the day during the whole lunch hour of course. I would go out to have lunch, but I spend my allotment of cash on gas and StarBucks everyday, so sadly I can’t afford the luxury of McDonald’s for lunch.

Gym is torture like always, especially after lunch, like who would put a child through torture like that? Today we played dodge ball, so double torture.

Finally, the last hour of the school day arrives, and it’s the only class that I actually enjoy; Art.

“What are you working on today, Andy?” Ms. Abbott surprises me, making me jump slightly.

“Just a black and white self portrait.” I answer, slightly embarrassed.

“It shows a lot of emotion, you’re a true artist, keep it up and you’ll be famous.” She grins at me, then walks away.

I stare at the dark drawing I front of me. It shows me lying flat on my back in the middle of the road, dark clouds above me, and rain falling, the tiny droplets resting on my face. I used to paint, and draw, with loads of different colors, they were all so bright and happy.

That’s not how it is anymore. For three years now, anything I’ve done has always been in black and white. Ever since that damn night, that changed my life forever.

“Andy, go call your father, will you? He should be home by now, dinner’s getting cold.” Mom ask’s, rubbing her temples. She’d been getting migraines lately, and all she wanted to do is have a nice family dinner. We haven’t had one in months, because dad started working later, and mom has been to tired from her work.

I look over at Adam, but he’s too busy texting Katie, his actually serious girlfriend. They’ve been together for a month now, and he’s happier than ever, but he’s constantly with her. Not that it matters, he thinks I’m an annoying pest, so he never is around me anyway.

In the family room, we have a phone, and that’s the only one I’m allowed to use. Mom doesn’t allow me on hers, and I’ve never touched Adam’s, not that I want to, who knows what a 17 year old teenage boy has on their phone. I dial dad’s number, and wait for it to ring.

“What?” he asks gruffly.

“Mom wants to know when you’ll be home.”

“I’m almost there, probably ten minutes, you can all eat without me.” He slurs, and I know he’s been drinking, again.

“Okay, drive safe, love you.” I sigh.

“Love you too.” He grumbles, then hangs up.

I walk back into the kitchen, “He says to eat with him, that he’d be ten minutes.”

Mom sighs, “Go ahead, I’m not hungry anymore.” She then leaves, making me frown.

I serve myself some cold Ziti, and chew on the cold pasta. I glance up at Adam, to see him shoving food in his mouth, whilst texting.

“Who knew you multitask.” I mutter.

“Shut up tiny.” He sends me a quick glare, then focuses back on his phone.

I sigh again, and push away my food. I stand up and leave the table, heading straight to my room. The walls are light pink, with flowers all over them. I’ve kept bugging mom and dad about changing it, to more mature colors, instead of keeping the colors I picked out when I was six. They always brush it off, saying we’ll redo it soon.

I grab my sketch pad from my table, and collapse on my bed. Paging through everything I’ve ever drawn, I stop on my latest one. The back of a girl, who has long, gorgeous blonde hair. She’s holding a white rose, and has loads of different kinds of flowers in her hair. She’s standing in a field of gorgeous flowers, and the sun is shining down on her.

I’m reminded of Rapunzel, but a more modern version. I’ve colored it with my new pastel colored pencils I saved up for, and love. Once I’ve finished the sky, I start on the field, and here the phone ring.

“Hello?” Mom’s the one that answers the phone.

“This is she.”

“What?” her voice is light, and shocked, and my stomach instantly drops.

“I’ll be there right away.” I can tell that she’s about to start crying.

I walk out of my room, and see her hang up the phone with her hand on her mouth.

“Mom what happened?” Adam asks, standing up.

“Your father, he was driving, and he didn’t see the girl crossing the street. They said that he was drunk.”

My eyes widen and a gasp leaves my lips.

“I need to go to him.” Mom’s already got her keys in her hand, and is slipping on her shoes.

“We’re coming with you.” I say, but mom shakes her head urgently.

“No, there’s not enough time, you two stay here.” She decides, and is out the door.

I look at Adam pleadingly.

“Did he sound drunk when you talked to him?” his voice is completely serious.

“Adam, you kn-”

“Did he sound drunk?!” He shouts, causing me to flinch.

I just nod, and look away from him.

“And you didn’t bother to tell us that?!”

“I didn’t want to stress out mom more, and you never listen to me!” tears form in my eyes.

“If it was about him I would have.” he’s not shouting anymore, but what he says hurts me, causing a tear to stream down my face.

Adam walks away, leaving me alone in my thoughts.

We’re at our house, without a single word from anyone for two hours. Two hours of self loathing, and blaming myself. Finally the phone rings, and Adam’s the first one to it.


I move closer to Adam, to try and hear what’s going on. He pushes me away, sending me a glare.

“Seriously? Okay, hurry and be safe.” He hangs up and starts to walk away.

I grab his arm, turning him around with all my strength, “What did she say?”

He pushes me away, making me repel back and hit the wall, causing a sharp pain to shudder down my back, “She’s coming home, alone.”

I look up at Adam shocked, that he actually hurt me like this. He walks away without another word. I slide down the wall in shock, of everything that’s going on. The second the door opens, I’m to my feet, asking mom what happened.

We all end up at the kitchen table, that still has our cold dinner on it.

“You’re father was arrested for vehicular homicide. He hit a little girl who was crossing the street, and she died instantly.”

I’m shocked, while Adam opens his mouth immediately.

“Was he drunk?”

I squeeze my eyes shut, knowing the answer already.

“Yes, he was driving while intoxicated.”

“Jesus Andy this is all your fault!” He shouts, standing up.

“What?” mom asks, completely lost.

“Andy knew that dad was drunk when she talked to him on the phone, and just like the child she is, she didn’t bother to tell either of us!”

I look up at mom, with guilty eyes.

“Is this true?” She whispers.

“It’s not the first time, so I just assumed everything would be fine.” Oh how I wish I could disappear right now.

“Telling us could have prevented this Andrea, you could have prevented this.”

The look she gave me, is one I can see every day, and try to forget.

All I want to do is forget, but I never can.

My father was sentenced to fifteen years in prison. I haven’t gone to visit him, mom refuses to let me. I used to write him letters, but eventually mom stopped letting me. She despises him, and doesn’t want anything to do with him. Adam’s 21 now, so he can see him if he wants. He’s done it behind moms back once, made me promise not to tell her about it. I wanted to go with him so badly, but he wouldn’t let me.

Mom got married two years later, moved on real quickly. She never really loved dad, she just stuck with him because of me and Adam. She married a big shot pediatric surgeon, and is the happiest I’ve ever seen. Phillip, has two kids of his own. I got a new step sister, Tiffany, the head cheerleader that’s a senior at my school, she loathes me, and lives to make my life hell. Brandon, is the most irritating fifteen year old I’ve ever met. Him and his friends love to torment me, and prank me.

A few weeks after mom and Phillip got married, she announced that she was pregnant. Ruth looks like both mom and Bill, she’s got black hair, and bright blue eyes. She’s the only one in our house that doesn’t hate me.

“Andy?” Mrs. Abbott snaps her fingers in front of my face.

“Oh, sorry.” I blink and look up at her.

“The bell rang, schools out, go home so I can too and watch Gossip Girl.” She shoo’s me away, causing me to grin.

“See you tomorrow Jules.” I say over my shoulder as I leave the room, holding my sketchpad to my stomach.

“See you.” She answers.

It’s pretty sad when you’re art teacher is the person you talk to the most at school.

Sighing, I make my way out to my car, and drive straight home, excited for a few hours to be alone. Mom and Phillip have work, Tiffany always has cheer practice, and Brandon’s either at football or with his friends. I’m the one that doesn’t have a life and stays home everyday.

Not that I’m complaining, it’s great to be alone. I can blast my music, eat all I want, and not care about anything, sometimes I don’t even wear pants, because I don’t have to. It’s that great. Then they all come home eventually, and it goes back to normal.

My music suddenly turns off, and my phone starts to buzz. I look at it to see that Adam’s calling me.

“Adam!!!!” I scream.

“Jesus Andy, I’m gonna go deaf.”

“Well hello to you too.” I grumble, with a mouth full of leftover pizza we had for dinner last night.

“How are things?” He asks, knowing my situation at home.

I sigh, “Still the same, they all still hate me.”

“They don’t hate you Andy.” Adam groans.

“Yes they do.” I reply in sing song.

He sighs, “Ruth doesn’t, she adores you. How is the little booger?”

“She’s good, still going to Barbie’s house everyday.” I walk around the house, not knowing what else to do.

“Mom’s still working full time?” He sounds shocked.

“Yup.” I pop the ‘p’.

“God almighty, Phillip makes more than enough to support everyone, there’s no reason for her to be at work.” I can tell that he’s putting his face in his hands.

“She goes just so she doesn’t have to be around me.” I mumble.


“Adam.” I copy his tone.

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“Whatever you say. How’s college?” I change the topic, because I don’t want to talk about our mother, and I want to know how he’s doing.

“It’s great, the classes are a difficult, of course, but the parties, the girls, it’s great, you’d love it Andy.”

I scoff, “If it’s anything like high school I doubt that.”

“Do they still bring it up?” he immediately asks.

“Every damn day.”

Adam sighs, “I’m sorry Andy, they don’t even know the whole story, so just ignore them, you know it’s not your fault, right?”

I stay silent.


“I could have prevented it Adam, you said so yourself.” My voice is weak, and on the verge of tears.

“Andy, it was three years ago, we’ve gone over and over this, it was not your fault at all. I was an ass back then, you of all people know that, but what I said was so wrong. Even if you did tell one of us, what would we have done, called him and had him get into an accident, and possibly die?”

“We could have went to pick him up, or had him catch a cab, or-” he interrupts me.

“Stop, just stop. You think about it a lot don’t you?”


Adam sighs, “have you been taking the pills?”

“I ran out of them months ago, and mom hasn’t bothered to notice that they’re empty.”

Adam’s quiet for a few moments, “Sometimes I think you’re better off living with me.”

“Me too.” I whisper.

“I have to go, my roommates home, and needs help with something. I’ll talk to you soon, just talk to mom will you? You need those pills Andy.” Adam speaks quickly, and seriously.

I hear noise in the background, “I will.” Complete lie.

“Okay, love you tiny.”

I smile at the old nickname, that I used to hate, “Love you too, Apple.”

Adam laughs lightly, then hangs up. I sigh, and toss my phone on the counter. I walk into the bathroom, and wince at the site of me. My eyes are bloodshot, with huge bags underneath them, my hair is all over, and my wardrobe is boring. Overall I look like a zombie. Turning on the water, I splash some on my face, trying to rid the bags under my eyes. I give up after a few seconds.

I stock downstairs to my bedroom, grabbing my glasses, so I can actually see the homework that I’m not going to do. I notice clothes all over my floor, and groan, knowing that mom will yell after me if she see’s it. Right as I start to clean up my room, the door bell rings.

My head snaps to my window, and I don’t see any car in my driveway. The doorbell rings again, and I start to walk slowly towards the door, slightly worried by it, because I never get anyone knocking on the door when I’m home alone.

The person knocks on the door, repeatedly.

“Calm your tit’s I’m coming!” I exclaim, as I make my way up the stairs. I open the door with a glare on my face.

“What do yo-” my voice stops working when I see a head full of bright red hair.

“Are you Andrea Ross?” his Australian accent sounds exhausted, and out of breath.

My eyes widen, not believing my eyes. Michael Clifford stands at my door step, looking like he just got hit by a bus. What do I do?

I slam the door in his face.

authors note:

New Michael fanfic! I know that he’s not in this chapter a ton, but it’s more of an introduction to Andy’s life than it is actually getting into the Michael part.

What do you guys think? If it gets enough attention and people tell me to continue, I will because I have some amazing ideas for it, and I’m excited.

I’m still writing Dollhouse (Luke), but I though this would be fun to write too. Both of the stories are going to be updated slower than usual though, because my life is so busy at the moment.

Vote & comment if you think I should continue it!