hi janel

I can’t believe Jessica goes from being blindsided, becoming a Have-Not, being forced to wear a toad costume, having her closest ally evicted, and being on the block the next week to literally being the most powerful person in the game right now with her ally back in the game, being the HOH, winning the POV and having the Halting Hex all at once.

And she STILL squanders all that potential.

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Kick-Ass Chicks: Julie Mooney & Emily Sims

If you see two girls dancing perfectly in synch to your favorite classic tunes, there’s a high chance it’s sisters and bloggers, Julie and Emily. As we walked up to the busy front gates before the park’s official opening, we wondered just how we would find the two dancing darlings in a sea of people. But to no surprise, we spotted them in their matching Vans Lifeguard Hats & Sk8-Hi’s in a matter of seconds— after all, Vans Girls always standout from the crowd. Their laid-back California style and carefree attitudes may have already drawn you in, but their epic tips, tricks, and rare finds will keep you glued to their Insta stories and coming back for more! We sat down with Julie and Emily to get a glimpse into their mega fun careers and to talk building a business as sisters, and having the happiest place on earth as their office. Find out how they turned their passion into a career after the jump…

Keep reading

When all of you went to bed last night, you missed Neda telling Ika all about how Jon cheated on her with his ex, Janelle. AND now this morning Jon unpinned his Team Neda tweet lmao. So Jon ain’t shit. Shocker.

Derek Nurse, not-so-secret nerd, waxing eloquent and at length about the multilayered genius that is Janelle Monáe’s Cindy Mayweather cycle. Just…enslaved androids as artistic stand-ins for female, racial, and economic oppression, who struggle to love who they love across societally imposed boundaries and fight against their oppressors in increasingly radical but nonviolent ways.

6

You know what the worst part about this is? It’s the party they’re having in the West Wing right now at my expense. They like to win, and then they like to gloat.
I’m sure you’re wrong. There are very serious men and women at the White House. There’s no cause to gloat.

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Janelle Monáe leads a powerful call-and-response with the Mothers of the Movement, in her song “Hell You Talmbout”, with the mothers calling out their children’s names and the crowd chanting back “say his name”

MOONLIGHT

(2016, Barry Jenkins)

Two years ago, Richard Linklater’s Boyhood was one of the major talking points of the year in film – a breathtaking journey that showed the coming of age of its main character over the course of 12 years. It was easy to see why it drew the acclaim that it did, yet at the same time centering a story around the experience of growing up as a straight white male in America gave off a slight whiff of been there done that. The technique was impressive, but we’ve seen that story told time and again over the decades in film. Something that we haven’t seen nearly as frequently, if at all really, is an equally affecting and intimate portrait of the existence of a gay black man portrayed on screen. Barry Jenkins is here to start to redress that balance with Moonlight, his first film in eight years, after his debut feature Medicine for Melancholy. Chronicling the transition from adolescent to teenager to adulthood, Jenkins casts three different actors (Alex R. Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, Trevante Rhodes) to depict Chiron, a man who spends his whole life struggling to find acceptance as he grows up in a rough neighborhood in Miami.

Forging a relationship with local drug dealer Juan (Mahershala Ali), who becomes a father figure to make up for the absence of one, and his affectionate partner Teresa (Janelle Monae) isn’t enough to save Chiron from the beatings at school that he receives for being different, the difficulty reconciling why it’s so hard for him to fit in, or the troubles he faces at home with his unstable addict mother Paula (Naomie Harris). It’s a very specific story, beautifully told with a style from Jenkins that resembles a form of meditative cinematic poetry, yet the greatest strength of Moonlight is that it never feels like a film that shuts off those outside of this particular experience. Rather, Jenkins builds a bridge of understanding that draws natural empathy for the struggles that someone living this life endures while also bringing forth universal themes that we can all relate to. I’m certainly not someone who has had to live with the difficulties that Chiron faces, but I was constantly finding moments and ideas throughout the film that spoke to my own experience, from the themes of loneliness and feeling like you don’t belong, to the ease with which you can slip back into the comfort of an old relationship, even after all of the terrible things that happened to drive you apart from that person.

For Chiron, that person is Kevin, a close friend who is also played by three different actors (Jaden Piner, Jharrel Jerome, Andre Holland) through each of the different time periods that Moonlight traces. Every actor excels in this remarkable ensemble, to a point where it’s almost disingenuous to really point to anyone as being the standout of the cast, but the film really hits its high point in the final section, almost exclusively devoted to one night between the two men years after they had gone off their own ways. Seeing them come back together, after so long apart with such different experiences, speaks tremendously to the power of what Jenkins gets across in his film, and the chemistry between Rhodes and Holland is positively electric. As is the case with the rest of Moonlight, there’s no pomp to Jenkins’ portrayal of this encounter, none of the exploitative poverty porn that can seep into films rooted in these kind of communities, nor any showboating from the director or his cast that would feel disingenuous in a film as quiet and unassuming as this. Jenkins simply lets this story exist in a way that feels organic, never drawing attention to itself, but always feeling potent and made from a place of deep understanding. It’s wonderful to see a film depicting this kind of experience being embraced as wholly as Moonlight has been, and one can only hope that it will open doors for opportunities to see a wider range of experiences portrayed in film moving forward.

B

Sometimes, We Survive By Forgetting

Synopsis: “You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story,“ Deidra whispered to her newest friend. A stray black dog she found, that had hurt himself outside of her home. What Deidra didn’t know that the stray dog, was her brother-in-law, Sirius Black, who was very surprised to find his brother’s wife very much alive after all these years.

Warning: SMUT, abuse/torture                        Part 4 of ….

(Past: October 1995)

“I don’t think this is wise Albus.” Sirius pleaded with his old professor. They can’t fully trust Janelle just yet, despite her progress. Janelle’s face sours at Sirius’s remark. Albus patted his shoulder as Janelle straightened her hair out. She was going to meet her brother today and nothing he said was going to change that. She was a free woman, unlike him.

“No reason to be jealous Sirius.” She smiled at his soured expression, she mockingly pecked his cheek as she ushered Dumbledore towards the door. “I’ll be back before curfew. Promise.” She blew him another kiss before slamming the front door shut with a bang. Sirius cursed loudly, waking his dreadful mother’s portrait once again. Even if Albus trusted her, he couldn’t trust who she could possibly run into. Deatheaters lurked all corners of the wizarding world, finding a newly discovered one would cause some suspicion. He was going to follow whether they liked it or not.

Albus gave her a moment to gather her bearings, she still hadn’t mastered the somersaults her stomach did after apparating. She felt as uneasy as a newborn foul trying to take its first steps, it was rather infuriating. Some wizards passing by gave her confused looks as she trailed behind the old wizard. Surprising many were going out of their way to avoid Dumbledore, giving the friendly man as little attention and acknowledgement as possible. For him being such a public figure for so many years it was rather peculiar reaction, but he had paid to mind to it. He gave her a grandfather-like smile before directing her inside of a pub.

“This way.” Albus brought her to corner of the pub towards an impatient man staring at his pocket watch. His short dark hair was perfectly coifed to one side, and he was impeccably dress. He looked up at the sound of approaching footwear, he had been nursing a butterbeer for nearly 15 minutes. Deidra, no, she corrected herself. Janelle hesitated getting closer to the man, his hazel eyes were greener than brown, very familiar, but he was missing something. She couldn’t exactly put her finger on it. “Mr. Fawley.” He announced, the man straightened up nodding at the two.

“Is this her?” He scanned her over several times, making her self-conscious. “She looks different.” He complained to Albus. The old man smiled pushing the woman forward. She rubbed her arm, nervous.

“Go ahead poppette.”

“Hi Frenchie!” She covered her mouth, she wasn’t sure where that name had come from. It just flew right out of her mouth. The man scoffed, before smirking himself.

“That’s her alright.” He gestured for her to sit by him, Dumbledore elected to stand. She looked at him expectantly.

He tapped the end of his nose, “I have a few errands to run. I trust you remember where to go?”

“Yes?” She agreed uncertain. And with that he whistled and walked away, leaving her with her estranged brother. What an odd man indeed.

“So, we all thought that you ran off with that Deatheater husband of yours.” She blushed, not sure what to say to her former brother. “Father was disappointed that you didn’t take time to see him before he died.” She looked sullen at the thought.

“I didn’t know. I really didn’t know anything until recently. Dumbledore helped restore-”

“Been spending all your time with that old cotter? Don’t you remember anything that man has done to our family-”

“No, I don’t actually. He found me. He has been trying to help me remember. I can only remember select memories.”

“The shame he had brought our father. The absolute dislike of you in school because you were sorted into Slytherin.” She shook her head, she didn’t remember much of Hogwarts other than what others had told her. Dumbledore had been able to uncover somethings from her childhood, and tidbits of educational information but nothing super substantial when it came to her former life, or rather her former career.

“I didn’t do this on purpose. At least I don’t think.”

“You don’t think.”

“I had my memory wiped. And, well,” she pulled back her sleeve, the angry festering mark stared back at them, “this as well.” He yanked her arm towards him, he began to inspect the hideous scar up close.

“So, you were one of them. Huh?” He allowed her to take possession of her arm once as he took a large gulp of his butterbeer. “But now instead, you have this beauty mark to remind you by.”

“Speaking of beauty mark, didn’t you have-” He chuckled making her pause.

“Burning the mole from below my eye doesn’t resonate with you? Or telling me my diseased spot was eventually going to eat my eye anyways so what you were going to do wasn’t going to hurt me any?”

“No.” She refuted his claims.

“Well, you did by the way. It took several weeks to get over the fact you openly set a part of my face ablaze.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“I really was rotten.” She deduced.

“Well, it wasn’t all bad. My current wife could thank you for the much “needed” improvement to my face.“ Her eyes lit up at his comment.

"I heard you had a son as well.”

“Sullivan, he’s an exceptional kid.” He looked around and leaned in, “A pureblood obviously.” He winked at her, why she did- Well smiled? Some relief soothed her, but she wasn’t sure why. Was that supposed to mean something to her? She nearly gaped at her lapsed in judgment, former Janelle did. It twisted her stomach thinking about anyone less than pure.

“Hufflepuff though?”

“That was definitely the wife’s doing. Humble at heart.”

———————————–

(Current: April 1996)

Janelle laid in a corner, just shaking. It was frigid in the room, and she refused to move closer to the fireplace. It was closer to him. The thin emerald slip he had transfigured for her helped little with retaining heat. Its real purpose was to keep her scantily clad and mildly appealing at a moment’s notice, but she had tried to convince herself it was the only thing holding her dignity together. She was partially draped on the floor and ruddy awful hard chair. She was trying not to breathe too heavily, she had wanted her master to forget her existence.

He chuckled lightly, continuing with book and papers he was reading. He was amused at her quivering hope.

At least for a little while, she surmised regrettably. How could Regulus do this to her? She could have had a good life, she could have keep her friends, her family, and her sanity. She had been cursed and defiled so often she struggled to define who she was anymore. Was she ignorant Deidra or beyond reproach Janelle?

“Do you need a reminding?” She flinched, his voice was so close. “Look up.” She dared to tip her head up, only to be confused. He was still sitting at his desk, and hadn’t moved. She blinked, he still hadn’t moved. Did she imagine that?

“Perhaps you had,” his phantom voice mocked. Her back hit the wall in scared desperation. He was still sitting there! What was going on? He had to be doing this? A ghost of smirk, the corner of his lips turned upward.

“You are!” She accused. Instantly she squeaked in regret. Her legs went sprawling in the air as her body drug across the cool surface of the floor. “No, No!” She slammed up against the desk where he was seated. He causally looked down at her twisted-up form.

“Apparently you need another lesson pet.” He pulled her up by her hair, now they were face to face. “To learn your rightful place.”

———————————–

(Past: October 1995)

“Janelle, Janelle Black?” She whipped around to be greeted by beautiful blonde woman. She was elegant to say the least. Who had addressed her by her old name? “Is that really you?” She took in the rich silk robes and designer jewels that adorned her. Whoever she was, she had a lot of money and certainly flaunted it. Sean patted her side, laying a chaste kiss on her cheek.

“Nice to see you again, Narcissa.” He waved off Janelle, “See you later sis.” And he quickly disappeared with a crack. She touched her cheek confused by the gesture, they hadn’t even shaken hands inside the pub.

“Narcissa?” The name felt familiar on her tongue, like someone had mentioned recently. A smile quickly appeared on her face, yes, yes, she remembered on. “Black?”

“Malfoy, dear. You stood up in my wedding.” Narcissa corrected. Janelle pointed to herself.

“Me?” The woman looked slightly put off, but hid it well.

“Yes, with Regulus. Speaking of which, where is my dear cousin. I haven’t seen him in a long time. You must have a couple kids now.” Narcissa remarked, trying to fish for answers. But Janelle frowned. The woman seemed to have hoped the best for the apparent star struck lovers.

“Well, a no. I haven’t seen him either. I’ve been alone now, for a long time.” Janelle wasn’t sure how to phrase the situation delicately in a public setting.

“Alone? When did he leave?” For those questions, she had no answers. Before her supposed ‘hit and run’ accident, she believed. A lone tear slid down her cheek, “Oh dear. Wipe that away.” Narcissa magicked a handkerchief. Janelle chuckled lowly, Blacks don’t show weakness. She nodded, showing her gratitude towards Narcissa. Maybe this was too much of a blast from the past, she really should prepare herself for a public liaison.

“I apologize for embarrassing you. It’s a bit overwhelming being back here again.” Narcissa contemplated sequestering her further, she was just bubbling with questions. She would have to report this to her husband. “Would you like to talk over lunch? Maybe we could catch up.” Janelle suggested.

Narcissa nodded enthusiastically, “Yes. I believe that would be a wise idea.” Janelle smiled, her husband’s cousin had an interesting way of speaking. What Janelle thought was an intriguing quirk was blunt words coming from the wealthy woman’s mouth. “Where would you like-,” Narcissa paused causing Janelle to look back at her pinched nose, “What is that dreadful smell?” Janelle sniffed the air, quickly turning around to the sound of growling. Her friend!

“Oh, hey boy!” She bent down to pat the upset animal. Somehow her dog had found her once again. And apparently Narcissa and he didn’t seem to like each other.

“Is that mutt yours? We wouldn’t be able to take him along if he’s snarling…and honestly smells like that.” Narcissa covered her mouth and nose dramatically, she couldn’t help by giggle at her behavior. Uptight about her starting to cry but melodramatic about a smell. The dog nipped at Narcissa again before pulling hard at Janelle’s clothes.

“Well, uh, I guess I should go. Could I send you an o-” He was successful at dragging Janelle away a few meters. “I’ll contact you!” The dog nudged her impatiently towards the end of town, where a thicket of trees was. Janelle entertained the dog and followed willingly, perhaps he had wanted to show her something. She hadn’t seen him since she had moved to Grimmauld place, which had to be been several months now. She hadn’t kept track. Somehow, he found her once again. She felt a bit guilty not having sought out the animal once again. He would have been better company than-

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Janelle was trying to gather herself, her back ache as it slammed into a tree repeatedly. “Answer me woman.” She narrowed her eyes at Sirius, whose hands were painfully clutched around her arms.

“Where the hell did you-” she looked around, the black dog was no longer around.

“You know she is married deep with Deatheaters! What were you thinking talking to her!” Sirius shouted angrily at her. Janelle still wasn’t processing what he was ranting about. Where had- realization hit her like a freight train.

“YOU’RE THE DOG!”

—————————————

(Current: April 1996)

Janelle was slumped beneath the desk; her face and hair were sticky. She was coated in the dark load’s seed. Narcissa grew green with sickness at the sight before. Her husband’s master was a twisted man. Punishing this girl, and torturing her for introducing Janelle back into their lives. She had only wanted to reach out to a former cousin, a former Black. She silently banished the mess, without disturbing her, but the smell of stale sweat and blood made her nose wrinkle. She needed a bath.

“Don’t touch me! Who are you?” Narcissa paused, nearly gasping at the admission.

“I’m your husband’s cousin.” She replied calmly, offering her help once again.

“I don’t have a husband.” Deidra exclaimed, but the instant she said it, she held her aching forehead in her hands. “Do I?” Janelle was married, she remembered.

Narcissa’s usual expressionless face fell into a pitying frown. He must be toying inside her head as well.

“At one time. He died long ago.” She paused, Janelle stilled, her unwavering gaze back made Narcissa nearly crumble. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Janelle nodded her head slowly crawling out from under the desk. She felt she could trust those with comforting eyes. No cruel intentions hid beneath their blue/grey stare. She stumbled clinging to Narcissa, soiling her dress robes. 

She felt light, too light. Hadn’t she been feed in a while? Something brought her out of her wandering thoughts. But hardly at the moment, she hadn’t care, she noticed the pools of blood dripping down either sides of her legs. Janelle blushed, trying to wave off Narcissa’s steady hands. She said nothing, continuing towards the door, a lot running through her mind.

“He bites. Really hard.” Janelle admitted in a small voice.

—————————————–

(Past: October 1995)

“You’re sick!” She threw herself away from him, fleeing down the hallway. Sirius hot on her trail. “Get away from me you bloody bastard!” She made it almost to the front door before her body roughly slammed into the wall.

“Just let me explain.” He started but she wasn’t having any of it. She struggled against his hands which were cuffed tightly around her wrists.

“Explain what? That you’re a perverted arsehole. I think I’ve got it figured out. Now let me-”

“I hadn’t meant for you to find out.” She huffed at his words. He already knew. “That came out wrong.”

“You don’t say.” She spat.

“Janelle please listen. I hadn’t meant to get so close to you. I had wanted to know whether you were real. I just needed-” She kicked her leg out, hitting him in the shin. He grunted.

“So, everything I’ve done has been a bloody test?!” She yelled at his behest, “Do you remember all the things I said, the things I whispered in confidence to a dog I thought was my friend.”

“Yes, yes I remember everything and I’ve told no one. What you have told me I have kept in the confidence.”

“Lies!” He dropped his hold on her arms as her knee came in contact between his legs. She darted up the steps the second his relinquish his hold over her. “I’m leaving here! And you’re not going to stop me!” Sirius leaned against the wall, trying to catch his breath, while punching a hole in the crumbling drywall.

————————————

(Current: April 1996)

“No, no, Sirius!” A crash and crunch, the two flinched. The 9 and 8-year-old began to quickly panic. If Mrs. Black saw that we had broken- “Sirius fix it, fix it now.” Janelle begged for the older boy to mend it.

“I’m trying shut up.” He was toying with the pieces of the vase, it had been a precious heirloom, well before they broke it. Janelle began feverishly pacing as he tried harder to mend it. Her daddy wouldn’t let her come over again if she was a bad girl.

“Mother will be very displeased with you two.” Janelle paused, finally recognizing Regulus’s presence. His hands were clasped behind his back, which was eerily stiff. Janelle ran towards her other friend, he always could avoid punishment. He would know what to do! Why did she have to follow his older brother around, he almost always got her in trouble every time.

“Regulus. We don’t know how to fix it. We have to hide it from your Mother. Please.” His formidable mask relented, their pureblood upbringing meant all three of the children would be severely punished.

“Trixie and Cissa are downstairs. See if you can get one of them to help.” Janelle stomped her feet, his older cousins were scary mean.

“That isn’t going to work Reggie. They’ll probably dog at us for a minute before showing mother themselves. We can’t have that, they’ll- wait. You know something that we don’t.” Sirius abandoned his pursuit to intimidate his brother. “Well what is it?” Regulus would not give his brother the satisfaction, he whispered into Janelle’s ear. Her child chubby cheeks began to flush red.

“That’s not ladylike.” Her little nose wrinkled, “we should tell on them instead.” Little Janelle went rushing out the room to get the girl cousins.

“Brats.” With a flick of her wrist Bellatrix fixed the vase. The children released a sigh of relief. “And if you dare speak about what you saw you will regret it.” She threatened, they already knew not to cross Trixie. EXCEPT…

“Until next time.” Janelle surprising announced, being the cheeky one instead of Sirius. Bellatrix smirked, while Narcissa and now tagging along, Andromeda, frowned.

“Oh, I think I like this one.” Bellatrix exclaimed. The teenage girls ignored the younger kids, snickering to themselves. Like it was some weird inside joke.

“Perhaps an arranged marriage to one of them.” Narcissa muttered.

“Poor girl.” They cackled exiting the room.

“Hey wait!” Janelle called chasing after the older girls, what did they mean?

When she opened the door, she was no longer in Grimmauld place, but outside. In the dark? She looked around, surprised to find herself outside the Ministry of Magic. Had she been there before?

“Janelle GET BACK HERE!” Sirius came bounding towards her in a rage.

Run Janelle, a voice whispered. Janelle hiked her skirt up and bolted, she was missing her wand. She had to get away. She cried out, running into Regulus’s arms.

“Please, Reg. Help me! Help! He’s gone mad!” She screamed, while Regulus said nothing.

“You are MINE!” Sirius roared, as he hauled her back. His wand trained at the other man. She thrashed against her captor. Regulus’s expression remained stoic, but his eyes spoke another story. Janelle reached hard for him, mouthing please. She didn’t want to leave with him, she wouldn’t leave with him. She threw her elbow back hard, a harsh grunt, and hands released her. She rushed towards Regulus. He stared forward, made no indication towards her.

“Please help! Save me!” She cried as she ran faster, she was trying to end the metaphorical gap between the two lovers. He dared to move his head slightly, discouraging from her pursuit. She slowed significantly, almost walking towards him now. Each step becoming heavier than the full thud in her chest. Why?

You’ve lost, Janelle. You’ve lost everything, the voice whispered again.

“NOOO!” Janelle screeched thrashing wildly in the tub. Narcissa had backed a few steps, bewildered. One minute she was helping Janelle clean herself up and the next minute her eyes rolled into her head and she began muttering like a nutter. Janelle stopped, panting hard looking at her surroundings. She wasn’t in an alleyway, she wasn’t in Grimmauld place, but still in Malfoy Manor with Narcissa. “What, what happened?” She whispered, her voice was taunt. She held her throbbing head in her hands, trying to shake the images from her head.

Narcissa shook her head and answered in an equally frightened whisper, “I have no idea.”

ask-janelle-reynolds  asked:

It had been easy sailing for the royal family and they decided to celebrate their safe journey. Janelle adjusted her tiara and was happily dancing with a member of crew as a the band played the upbeat music. The song suddenly ceased when the captain began shouting orders at her crew. Janelle only caught the words attack and pirates. She saw could faintly make out the silhouette of an approaching ship before she was escorted below along with her mother.

Philip stood on the bow of his ship, hair blowing behind him in the wind as his target was in sight. A smile graced his face, portraying his excitement as one hand went to rest on the hilt of his sword. He shouted orders to the rest of his crew, not taking his eyes off the royal ship as his own vessel, dubbed Revolution, pulled up nearby. Lines were cast over, and he rode the first one over to the deck, eagerly taking on multiple of the king’s fighters at once. He won quickly, only a single cut on his shoulder to show as the other men lay on the deck around him, and took off to find his prize.

// @ask-janelle-reynolds

Blame - Explicit

Note: Posting my first fanfic, and super nervous about it, so please go easy on me! :)) There is some explicit content throughout, so for those of you who aren’t fond of a little bump and grind, you may want to skip this one! Thanks for reading - xo

The energetic rush of their final dance of the evening was coming to a close. Janel had felt herself grinning from ear to ear throughout the entire number, and as they slowly knelt to the ground, arms enclosing one another, it was as if the world around them had come to a whirling halt. She closed her eyes softly, and felt a tingling shockwave flood her nose, alerting her of the tears she knew she’d have to hold back. Her lips quivered at the corners, as she looked up to meet his gaze, inwardly battling the emotions that had just made themselves known to her. He rest his nose on hers, a soothing gesture, causing Janel to let out an innocent smile. Val drug the tip of his nose up hers, until his perfect pout met her forehead, where he left a lingering kiss that made her stomach churn with emotion once more. The crescendo of applause eventually shook them out of the moment as reality set back in, and Janel knew the unwrapping of her revelation would have to wait until later.

Live television. Janel reminded herself; while she coaxed herself out of the impending self-pity party she knew she’d likely throw herself later that evening. As far as she was concerned, her and Val were just fucking. Nothing less, nothing more… Janel snapped out of her thought as wisps of hair tickled at her ear; Val’s hot breath danced across the space between them, and his whisper finally reached her.

“I’m right here,” he said, giving her hand a soft tug.

She realized how tightly she’d been gripping his hand, and loosened it immediately. They both tuned back in to the critique from the judges, and shortly after were scurrying up the stairs for their scores. 

______________________________

The Dancing With The Stars stage began to empty and the quieting rumble settled nicely to her ears. Janel casually walked to her designated dressing room, in hopes of going unnoticed, to gather her things and slip out to her car. Of course to her annoyance, Val ran up behind her nipping his fingers at her waist, forcing an uncontrollable giggle out of her mouth. She finally accepted that the bittersweet emotions, in which she wished to revel in for the rest of the evening, would have to wait until tomorrow. It was time for after-show interviews.

Janel placidly worked her way through several interviews, giving polite answers to the press concerning her journey on the show, but she was ready to go home. She could feel the urgency in Val’s hands, tracing small circles with his thumb over the left dimple at the small of her back, ready to take her home and ravage her as he did the night before. Janel gave thought to the intensity in which they shared on the dance floor that evening, symbolically channeling the aggression they’ve come to be all too familiar with behind closed doors. Her preoccupied mind was relieved, as they made it through their final interview, and Val led her to her car, where her things had been packed up for her.

“Don’t worry about going home for a change of clothes tonight, ‘mkay? Just follow me back to my place, I can tell you’re exhausted.”

Val leaned in, planted a soft kiss where her neck met her shoulder and trailed his mouth up the side until his lips encapsulated the lobe of her ear. Janel achingly sunk in to his teasing kisses, and felt an obligation to their ongoing hidden intimacy, to do as he had insisted.  

______________________________

Guilt washed over Janel as she entered into his home. The betrayal to her own feelings was creating a stifling wall and she knew that all Val wanted to do was fuck. Although she was feeling discouraged, Janel knew that the only remedy to her confusion was the comfort it brought her while cradled in his arms. She set her black Celine bag on his kitchen counter, and allowed him to slip her jacket off while leaving a trail of kisses from her hair to the tip of her shoulder. Val stood behind her, as he reached around to lay her jacket over a bar stool, enclosing his arms around her dainty waist.

“You were perfect tonight,” he whispered gently to her, “I could not have dreamt a more perfect dance than the one we danced tonight.”

That tingling sensation crept up on Janel once more, causing her eyes to fill instantly with tears. Although not uncommon, she found his softness to be quite startling on this particular evening. They’d become adjusted to a familiar arrangement that was fun and unattached, and some how she felt herself increasingly aroused by the emotion he so suddenly chose to share.

“Janel.”

She sunk back, the lull of his voice trailing her name created an uncomfortably warm mess between her legs, which would not allow her to deny his affection tonight.

She closed her eyes.

“Baby.”

He spun her around, lifted her chin, and planted a firm kiss to her lips, sucking her bottom lip gently. As her knees went weak beneath her, he caught her limp, tired body in his arms and began walking toward his bedroom, where he gently laid her on the freshly made bed. Janel didn’t expect to come undone the way that she did right before him, falling prey to his smoldering eyes and disgustingly beautiful physique. She was no longer intimidated by his physicality, because she now understood what is was that she wanted from him.

As she became increasingly aware of her growing confidence, Val stood and slowly slid his shirt off of his shoulders, placing it in a corner hamper. He made his way back to Janel, who was fumbling to slip her tights off from underneath her skirt, he insisted “that’s my job, baby girl, let me take care of you tonight, okay?”

She nodded in agreement, a coquettish grin spreading across her face, who was she to deprive him of that request.

He slowly relieved her calves from the suffocation of the tights, and as he did so, crept his hands up her thighs under her skirt. His fingers motioned toward her opening, and as he pulled back the entrapment of underwear creating a barrier, she couldn’t help but to throw her head back in slight exaggeration. Her yearning for him had never quite exceeded her playful desire of attention, and somehow she found herself needing him tonight. The bedside lamp gave off enough glow and they were able to meet each other’s gaze. In an instant the air felt heavy, and full of desire. Using his left hand Val ripped the barrier to one side, once and for all. She began to feel herself pulsate at the sight as he brought his middle and index fingers to his mouth, wetting them generously. Parting her inner folds, Val’s fingers entered her with a slippery ease; Janel gradually widened her hips, his pace quickening to match her heavy breathing. He lowered himself to a kneeling position at the end of his bed, removing his hand from her drenched opening, wrapping both arms under her thighs and pulling her to his mouth. She let out a soft cry, as his teeth grazed her inner thighs, nibbling ever so gently. Janel grew increasingly aroused with every single touch of his stubble against her skin. Finally, he lay his tongue flat, warm, against her entrance, slowly dragging upward, flicking her clit repeatedly, aware of what her reaction would be. Uncontrollable waves came over her as he enclosed his teeth around the sensitive spot, sucking and tugging at it with urgency. Val raised her hips off the bed, determined to make her cum. He moaned at the taste of her, as he brought one hand from under her to utilize his fingers once more. The consistent pulling at her clit in synchronicity with the steady probing of her throbbing g-spot quickly sent her toward the edge. Val gave one final moan, the resonance sounding against her pulsation. Janel’s body convulsed delicately, giving in to his final tug.

The sensitivity of her orgasm began to subside, as she yanked Val by his hair, signifying his requested presence on top of her. He forced his hand between the sheets and small of her back, throwing her lithe body into the center of the large bed. He stood suddenly, gripping at his pants.

“V hurry,” she cried out.

Before she could blink, Val had slid on top of her, his engorged package resting against her dampened entrance. The warmth created between them sent chilling waves down her spine and the softness of his hot skin against hers generated a throbbing demand. Wrapping her hands tightly around the back of his neck, he pulled her on top of him without hesitation. With her body perfectly exposed for him to take in, she glided forward with ease, the slippery, beauteous mess beneath her allowing such an execution. Janel taunted Val repeatedly, grazing his cock between her thighs, prompting him to buck his hips upward with impatience. He grabbed her tensely by the hips, raising her over his stiffness and settling her on to it with a delicacy that emitted raw passion. Chin down, he looked at her through a furrowed brow, the intensity building dramatically between them. She rose up and down, in a painfully satisfying way, forcing them to feel every single sensation that came with him being inside of her. She clenched her eyes shut, grinding against him now, in an innocent fury. He filled her completely; it angered her how perfect he felt inside of her. She ran her fingers through her long curls while her rhythm slowed. He then rose, wrapping her legs around his body, and relishing in the closeness of their contact, pressed her back against the wall. His breathing accelerated, hands under her thighs, as he thrust into her.

“Deeper.” Janel demanded without hesitation.

A slew of moans escaped from behind Val’s clenched teeth. He pinned her harder to the wall, intensifying the depth of his package inside of her, increasing the strength of his thrusts. She sucked at his neck, hands entangled in his hair, while he pounded away, drawing her orgasm nearer. Vigorously pulling her from the bare wall, they crashed onto the bed.

“You’re so fucking wet baby. C’mon ride me,” Val said, grabbing at her hips to put them into motion.

The memories of their dance flashed, unexpectedly, through her mind; overwhelmed with this sudden emotion, Janel shook it off in determination to reach her orgasm. She hunched over Val’s body, rolling her hips over his hardened cock, calculating the depth of his tip inside of her walls. Squeezing her eyes shut once more, she felt the rippling of him inside of her, ready to release. She buried her face into his neck, tears trickling down her cheeks, where she planted wet, salty kisses. The throbbing she felt inside of her was enough to send her over the edge as she gave one last push back onto him; their passion was apparent in the pool of cum that escaped where their bodies intertwined.

Her breathing was heavy, hot, and moist on his neck. He felt an unfamiliar wetness that did not come from her kisses. Her lack of resilience from the orgasm immediately made Val alert.

“Baby?”

She sniffled.

“Janel? What’s wrong?” Concerned, Val sat up, remaining inside of Janel, and wrapping his arms around her. She shoved her head into his shoulder, feeling overwhelmed with guilt and confusion.

“Will you look at me? Did I hurt you?”

Val began to panic, unsure of her reaction and what he did wrong. He cradled her head, gently pulling her back to meet her gaze. He wiped the tears from under her eyes, whose gentle glow had been lost.

Within seconds, Janel climbed off of him, feeling sickened by her emotions. She was relieved that minimal clothing had been removed from her body, as she caught his confused stare out of the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry, I… I just… I can’t do this. I have to go home.”

“Wait! Hold on a minute, Janel. You can’t just up and leave with no explanation. What’s going on here?”

He followed her out of the bedroom, with no hesitation to stop and put on pants. She rummaged around in her purse for the key to her Mercedes, throwing her coat over her arm.

“I’ll see you Friday for practice, V” she leaned up, tears filling her eyes once more, to kiss his cheek, “ ‘mkay?”

Her hand hit the doorknob and his willingness to understand went out the door as she opened it and scurried out.

______________________________

He heard the roar of her engine come to life as she pulled out of his driveway. He lay in bed, naked, unwinding from the unfamiliarity of the sex they’d just engaged in. All he wanted to do was enrapture her, watch her face as it blushed beautifully from the seizing he caused her. The yanking feeling in his stomach, the uncertainty of what had just happened, it was exhausting him all at once. He pulled his phone, reluctantly, from the nightstand, checking for any messages from her. He chose to give her space to remedy whatever emotions he assumed she needed to still resolve about Payson. He knew that he was a convenient fuck for her, just someone to let aggression out on and to have hold her late at night. Val had let himself teeter on the edge of falling for Janel several weeks before, and when she made it known to him that it was strictly for fun, he had no qualms with it. Before putting his phone away, Val checked social media to see if she’d posted anything; nothing. He sent out one last tweet before giving in to his fatigue:

“Bout2close my eyes.reading all of ur comments. feeling all of ur support means the world 2me.youll never truly know how much I appreciate it.”

______________________________

Janel’s car came to a slow stop, coasting into her driveway. She got out, grabbing her things, and sloppily made her way into the house. She felt like a wreck, tousled hair, running mascara, and the unkempt mess that she’d left between her legs. The dampness caused her to curl over onto a dining chair, burdening her with the reminder of him. She was alone. Finally. Janel made her way through the dark to the grand piano in her front room. Looking out the window, into the moonlit street, she began playing a bittersweet melody, humming along with her eyes closed.

She was in love with him. She was helplessly, desperately in love with Val, and it was sickening to her. He was far from her reach, though available to fulfill her sexual desires at a moments notice. Janel was instantly aware that her feelings made her powerless to him if she couldn’t manage to regain her footing. They had an agreement, and she was well aware that he’d be uninterested, incapable, of anything more than their frivolous sexcapades.

Janel perused through her phone, searching for a sign from him. She felt ultimately defeated when she read his latest tweet. Although typically ambiguous in his messages, she felt a sense of comfort in his obscurity, because she knew when they were meant for her. Disappointment overcame her, as she crept down the hallway, and left a trail of clothing behind her on the way to her bed.

______________________________

He awoke in a clammy haze, blinking incessantly until his eyes adjusted to the dark room. Rolling over, he managed to check the time on his phone. It was a quarter past two. The light from the moon poured in, flooding his room, and keeping him from falling back into a slumber. There was an unsettling feeling that overcame him as he mentally reviewed the evening’s turmoil. Val became increasingly aware of Janel’s silent outburst, and wasn’t able to cope with the thought that maybe it was him, that he had hurt her.

He rushed to pull on his pants, never minding boxers, and threw on a jacket. He flew down the hallway, the rush of air rustling up the scent of her hair embedded in the hoodie, which she had slept in the night before. He grabbed his keys off the table and was out the door before he could even gather exactly what it was he was doing.

______________________________

He pulled into her driveway, and soon after was approaching Janel’s doorstep; all he knew in this moment was how he yearned for her. Leading with his heart, for once, he knocked lightly, without hesitation. Waiting in anticipation, he watched as she was slinking toward the door, in a silk, black robe that barely reached mid-thigh. She switched the front porch light on, squinting at the muddled glass siding to see who would possibly have the audacity to wake her at three in the morning. With a pit returning to her stomach, she opened the door.

“Val? What are you doing here?” Her voice hoarse.

“I had to see you. I didn’t feel right the way that you left. It woke me up out of my sleep. Can I please come in?”

She widened the door, keeping her arms crossed tightly over her breasts, forewarning her of the chill that crept through the night air. She floated gracefully toward the couch, sitting on the arm of it, waiting for him to explain his unexpected appearance.

“I… I’m… Well, I’m sorry, first of all, to wake you in the middle of the night. I know you have to be on set in a few hours…” he trailed off, beginning to pace through her living room. He approached her, cautiously, tucking one stray hair behind her ear, planting a fragile kiss on top of her head.

“Val, it’s really late. I don’t have the energy for round two tonight. I’m sorry.”

She attempted to stand and break away from him to return to her bedroom. Her lack of strength was no match for him, when he pulled her in to his body with ease, making his swollen member evident against her lower abdomen. Janel was irritable, exhausted, and unprepared.

“I know you’re tired baby, put your head on my shoulder,” he scooped her up in his arms, “let me put you to bed.”

He was thankful for the warm lighting that came from the gas fireplace opposite her bed, as he laid her, so delicately, on the pillowy surface, and drew a sense of affection from her eyes. His fingers moved effortlessly, giving an untraceable pull at the ribbon, which enclosed her body in the soft silk. The robe fell open, revealing her exquisite figure. He graced her stomach with plush kisses, as she reached for his hand, interlacing her fingers and squeezing.

“I told you earlier… I’m here. I’m right here.” He gave her dainty hand a light squeeze, reminding her of the blurry moment during their judge’s critique.

He pulled his phone from a pant pocket, and placed it on the dock on her bedside table. He pushed play, and she was instantly crippled at the sound of his violin. Through the speakers, she heard the familiar acoustics that she danced to earlier in the evening. “Blame” would forever be engrained into her memory, signaling to her heart, it was in that moment, on that infamous dance floor, which she discovered she was falling in love with Val.

Janel grasped at the zipper to his grey hoodie, pulling it down to divulge his broad frame from its constraints. With one push at the waistband, Val’s pants dropped to the ground, releasing his thick, leaking cock. He lifted her gently up on to her pillow before raising himself over her. His tip knocked lightly at her entrance, causing a ripple effect inside of her. Her lust for his body was unmatchable, the passion she felt for him was palpable.

“We can’t keep fucking like this, babe.” She whispered.

He entered her, drawing out her reaction, by crashing into her slowly. Janel whimpered at the pleasure it brought to her. Grasping at the sides of his hips, she drew him in closer. He retracted, and began to do a poetic dance with her, colliding into her repeatedly. The pattern continued as their fervor grew exponentially with the music.

“I want to know you… in every way that there is… to know somebody.” He laid one single, intricate kiss on her lips.

Speaking into her bosom, “I want to fuck you… in the kindest… most honest way I know how,” now tugging at her left nipple, flicking it with his tongue. Her body convulsed upward, asking instinctively for more. He continually thrust into her, the ease in which their bodies crashed into one another grew with the intensity of her wetness.

“I want to love you… Janel… in more ways than I even know how to right now.”

And with this final confession, familiar tears flooded the creases in her eyes. Their bodies became one and as she felt him stiffen inside of her, she cried out his name, digging her nails into his back, and released her emotions and sexual yearning all at once.

He was completely emptied inside of her, and now settling from the aftershock of his admission. Her petite body shuddered uncontrollably just once more underneath him.

“Don’t cry baby. I told you, I’m here.”

“I want you so bad.” She choked, as effortless tears continually poured out.

“Janel,” he pulled her chin up to look into her deep brown eyes, wiping away several tears “you have me. I am here. I am yours.”

He rolled to his side, pulling her into him tightly, ensuring their warmth would resonate from their sweating, pulsating bodies.

“I love you, Janel. I love your mind and it’s creativity. I love your beautiful body, and the way I fit inside you. I love your intensity, the way you kiss me, and especially… the way you love me. I know you do, I saw the look in your eyes tonight.”

She shut her eyes softly, feeling a calm storm washing over her.

“I am in love with you. And I don’t want you to be scared. Just tell me that I’m not crazy, and you feel it too.”

Her eyes flicked open without hesitation. Her grogginess was setting in, but she managed to throw her weight on top of his exposed body.

“I love you. Mmmmm, I love you… so much V.” As Janel nuzzled into his neck, she fell into a deep, and righteous slumber.

Relieved to hear those words come from her mouth, he covered their intertwined bodies with the blanket. Allowing himself to relish in these newfound feelings, he realized just how much he truly did love this woman.