hi im thatu

Listen, so here’s the thing. The older I get, the more I realize that if there’s such a thing as been born under a lucky star, then I probably wasn’t born under many of them but I did get to open my eyes for the first time under a blanket of friendship stars. I’m so lucky when it comes to friends. People I’m not even close with like me and are nice to me and my friends are fantastic in ways I can’t even explain. And I have SO MANY of them??? How is that even real when up ‘till I was 10 years old I was left alone in school all the time?

Well, the point is that, about nine months ago my grandma died. My grandma and I connected through the sunflower paintings she gave me and the elephant collection she owns (hence me tattooing an elephant). Anyway, back then, my friends ordered something for me but never brought it up and kept forgetting to pick it up.

Now, like I said earlier, this weekend, due to Mother’s Day, someone posted a picture of my grandma and - for the first time in months- I burst into tears and couldn’t stop. I didn’t mention this to these two particular friends.

But tonight they came by my place. And left me the gift they finally picked up.

Like a beautiful, wonderful sign.

Sometimes people romanticize working as a teacher and, even though we know it’s true that it’s our job to “shape minds”, in reality it doesn’t really work that way every day. That said, we do have a part and it’s quite significant and some days ESPECIALLY.

For instance, I get to teach English as a foreign language, that said, I remember learning English and being taught the word gipsy and not once it was mentioned that it was socially charged in any way. Now, I can’t fill my classes with politics especially since I teach at a higher middle class school filled with rich kids so it’s risky but I do get great opportunities from time to time to tell them not to use the n word EVER or how to not behave like in the movies because certain words are not good and also - and this is great - I get to teach them VERY NATURALLY that “they” is a gender neutral term and that they should use it often when unsure of a person’s gender and then ask the person how they like to be addressed. I’m not saying here that I’m making god’s work but I get to teach people who have no idea how to communicate in a language the ACTUAL RIGHT WAY to do it. They might not learn to do it in the language they were born in and  the language they’ve been taught to mistreat other people but in English because it’s foreign and because they hesitate and because I get the power to introduce them to the words, they’re learning to use their words respectfully and in these days being a teacher feels really grand. 

I promise I will not become one of those people who sorely talks about their boyfriend and I really won’t because I like to keep tumblr sort of unrelated to the relationships I have most of the time so when it’s over I don’t have to look back at it and cry or delete the posts but I’ve been meaning to say this one thing that was adorable.

Before I became friends with the guy I’m with we met at a meeting for the project we run together (we organize geek culture events as part of a big group) and he had been a part of the group for less time than I was but I had been away for a while working on college so we met the first time at a meeting.

Back when we first started going out we were talking in the car about first impressions because his memory is bad and mine’s really good and he kept getting the dates mixed up and what I had said or how we had met or talked and he said - matter-of-factly and not romantically at all:

“I remember feeling kinda weird cause I kept staring at you.” and I remembered that he stared and I went like

“Cause I was dressed weird? Cause I was being super cool and funny?” And once again matter-of-factly and not at all romantically he said something more to himself than to me:

“No, it was like, I think I was thinking that it wasn’t possible for someone to be that pretty, it made no sense.”

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT WAS SO NICE AND HE WASN’T EVEN BEEING LIKE SMOOTH OR ANYTHING he wasn’t even talking about attraction he was honestly just like stunned by my face???? i just!! 

Me: So, basically, I just want to reassure everyone that while I have a history of getting too emotionally unstable after break ups, I have made the decision to take this new relationship lightly and slowly especially having in mind our age difference. I am taking it slowly and realistically and doing my best to keep my feet on the ground while discussing every part of the process as a unit.

Also me: 

Me: Mom, can you help me? I can’t open this milk carton. 

Mom: Sure, hold it and I will pull the lid.

We do it, we use too much force, the milk goes everywhere. My mom goes on an angry rant about how I used too much force and now everything is a mess. I stop her midsentence and raise my voice:

“MOTHER, PLEASE. WE CAN NOT JUST BE HERE AND CRY…OVER…” and then in a whisper “Spilled milk.”

My mom has come to a point in her life when she can’t even decide if she’s angry or amused by me anymore. 

A couple of friends are celebrating their first relationship anniversary but sadly one of them is spending eight months in Dublin so they’ll be separated. Her gf is getting us all to do little notes and because they call each other fishie and because I have them their ship name (maré, which is part of their names but also the portuguese word for ‘tide”), I went with the fish theme once again for the card. I hope it prints alright;

the message on top is something like “all draughts lead me towards you” or something like that

Before I go to sleep, just one more thing about my current life. My boyfriend’s name is the Portuguese word for Helium and his birthday is coming up this Saturday so I actually went into a store and had to explain to seven saleswomen that I wanted to buy helium baloons so I could print his face on them so they could be “helium baloons” and everyone had to take a few seconds before I could continue talking cause they were laughing so much.

Anyway, his father is really serious but he has the same name and while we are not that close I’m thinking whether or not one of the baloons should have his face on it? My bf said he’d laugh but u don’t understand how terrifying that man looks.