Reita: Okay, should we go right into another Dark Side? …Okay here goes
Uruha: Why did you rip the paper like that?
Reita: Oh I break the mails up so it’s easier to read.
Uruha: U know…the way u rip that paper is…Deep
Reita: Okay either of these are fine so – oh? This one says “I want Uruha to read it.”
Uruha: Okay. Ring-name, “I’m beating the cold with a muscle suit.”
(sinister music starts playing)
Uruha: “Uruha-san, Reita-san, konnichiwa. My mom has been muscle training every day to avoid middle-aged spread. I can always hear her from the next room like, hhu, hhu, hhu, DA! hhhah, hhhhhah”
(Rei crackin up)
Uruha: “She’ll also come up to me and do a pose and ask me, ’‘how do I look?” It’s not like she’s entering a muscle competition or anything, so I feel a bit of a Dark Side in my mom who’s voluntarily putting herself through that every day.
And now that I’ve written this I just realized Reita’s Muscle Dark Side is probably a lot deeper. I bet he talks to his muscles.“
Reita: Wow ur good at this! Damn!
Reita: The Dark Side Segment is Uruha’s thing~
Uruha: Nononono….anyway what do you think of this? You’re definitely Deeper.
Reita: Before coming today I had two hard-boiled eggs
Uruha: …..Okay but
Reita: And some bran bread.
Uruha: About this mom
Reita: Yeah – Oh the mom?
Uruha: She makes these poses and stuff right?
Reita: She makes a pose and asks, ’'so how do I look?”
Uruha: What is she doing? Muscle training – oh yoga? She’s going like, “hhhhuhhhu”
Reita: If she’s going “hhhhu” like that what would she be doing – I guess muscle training? Probably abs if she’s goin “hhuu hhuu”
Uruha: But she probably doesn’t wanna be seen being so dedicated to her muscle training.
Reita: Yeah but she’s asking how she looks
Uruha: It’s just like you
Reita: But you know…maybe she just wants to be told she’s changed a lot!
Uruha: So it’s just to show off the results?
Reita (slowly getting more and more worked up): Yeah, like, if someone tells you, “wow, you look different!” you’re satisfied. But, if you say that to people who haven’t been working out, they get all weird for some reason. Like, if you genuinely compliment someone – who works out I mean – they feel good about it. But like – (keeps ranting over Uruha)
Uruha: This is too Deep this is too Deep stop
(Reita starts laughing)
Uruha: Like this is exactly you. You know, when you first started putting on muscle, I told you.
Reita: Told me what?
Uruha: Like, wow, it’s comin along good!
Uruha: And then you got happy and it just escalated from there.
Uruha: Yeah –
Reita: So I think this mom probably just originally planned to go on a diet. But then she started being like, “Oh –! ……I can take this further! I can lift heavier things!”
Uruha: Yeah…and gradually she started showing off her process.
Uruha: Even though we don’t need to see that. People say they just want us to see their results, but that’s not really true…is it, Reita-kun?
Reita: Yeah, you’re right, that’s why they say people who work out are even more annoying than smokers.
(Reita laughing v hard)
Uruha: You will all see just how annoying they are when our world tour documentary comes out. We have some very detailed footage of that.
Reita: They should have cut out more!
Uruha: We already cut out quite a bit…
(Reita laughing v hard)
Uruha: You were muscle training everywhere we went!
Reita: No like actually, when I think about it…literally all I did was muscle training. Like in the dressing room, everyone’s busy doing something you know?
Reita: And I’m not doing shit.
Uruha: Your brain is made of muscle.
(Reita bursts out laughing)
Uruha: Like, the dressing rooms and hallways and stuff are so cramped, but you just position yourself there…doing that roller thing…
Uruha: And in the dressing room, you did pull-ups on the (*he said edge so I think he means door frame)
Uruha: Like, what would you do if you broke it? We would have gotten into trouble if we were overseas!
Reita: Yeah well if it was gonna break under my weight, it was probably already broken.
Uruha: (laughs) Yeah it did seem like it was gonna break. It was such an old shabby dressing room.
Reita: And even if it did break, I’d just be like “oops, sorry! I broke it!”
Uruha: That’s not enough tf!!
Reita: It’s fine, we’re foreign talent!
Uruha: Then we’d get a bad reputation overseas! Like, the GazettE breaks dressing rooms. Doin pull-ups all over the place.
Reita: Well we’re starting to play at places that don’t look like they’re falling apart! – Anyway enough about me!
Uruha: But yeah…people who work out really have a Deep Dark Side…they get so devoted to it…
Reita: But I mean isn’t talking to your muscles kinda like talking to your pets?
Uruha: But pets are living???
Reita: So are muscles??????
(Reita cracks up)
Uruha: Living things have emotions and consciousness.
Reita: So do muscles!!
Uruha: Okay, so what do muscles feel then?
Reita: Well, after they move around I think they’re happy, and when they get tired they strain. They send you all kinds of messages!
the allura and lance friendship this season is…… hhuu whats the word……… Beautiful?
Perfect? Ive been healed of all ailments that have ever affected me. Thank you vld crew thank you so much thank you so so much thank you thank you thank y