i have no idea how to put my emotions in words. i miss you an awful lot. i can’t bring myself to text you, i know we’d probably not even have a decent conversation so it’ll just be awkward tension and small unimportant talk. which sucks, we use to talk about everything, you use to stay up late just to talk to me and id get up really early just to make sure i’d be the first one to wish you good morning. that raw pure emotion we both had, it’s gone and it’s a simple “how’ve you been?” that sucks.
i miss you. which sucks because you probably don’t even miss me or even think about me when all i do is wonder what you’re doing. i love you so much but i hate myself so fucking much for it. you deserve none of my love, not even an ounce of my thoughts, or emotions yet you occupy all of me. i can’t hate you, so i’ve had to substitute to hate myself for what you’ve done.
why could you never see how much i loved you? why was i never enough for you?
if you had a chance to go back and redo, would you still date me? would you cheat on me? or would you just choose to not date me and have your entire cheating world never found out?
did you ever love me? or was it all part of your game?
You did it. You’re married. Or at least I guess you are by now. The big day for you was last week, and I forgot until today.
I know it may not mean much, and you may not even believe me, but I’m genuinely happy for you. You did it. You found your person, and I hope you guys are happy and I wish you all the best in your life, I truly truly mean it.
I found a girl, by the way, and she’s wonderful. Kinda weird though, her middle name is your name. Like who is writing this? But I enjoy her company and I really do like her.
I wish we were still friends. I wish things didn’t end so shitty. I also think you’re right. I did treat you shitty at the end every time, and I apologize. I didn’t know how else to react, but I know now that cutting off all ties and communication with you was not the smart move, and I really hurt our friendship. I’m sorry. Just know that if you ever want to be friends again, I’m here.
Congratulations, E. I’m proud of you, and I’m very happy for you.
“When he was little he sang in a primary school play as an Elvis version of Pharaoh in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It was ridiculous. He was funny. As soon as it was serious, and he was being himself, it was like he’d had his shield snatched away. And he was great.” – Gemma Styles on young Harry in AnotherManMagazine.
The main protagonist, Yuri is a 23-year-old figure skater who is talented, but succumbs to pressure easily, causing him to mess up at crucial moments. One year prior to the start of the story, he was Japan’s top figure skater, but he put on a humiliating performance at the Grand Prix Finale, leading him to putting his career on hiatus.