hey, if you're not using that baby

Wolfstar visiting Andromeda
  • Andromeda: Baby Nymphie has been looking forward to seeing you, Remus!
  • Sirius: And me? What about Uncle Sirius?
  • Andromeda: She has her little crush on Remus, though.
  • Remus: Still?
  • Nymphadora: *running* WEMUS!
  • Remus: *nervous laugh* Oh, hey Nymphie!
  • Nymphadora: Me miss you.
  • Remus: Oh, me too. You've grown so big! Didn't your hair used to be blue?
  • Nymphadora: It wed now.
  • Remus: I can see that!
  • Nymphadora: Me mawwy you?
  • Remus: Maybe when you're a little bit older Nymphie.
  • Sirius: Excuse me?
  • Nymphadora: UCKLE SIRIS!!!!
  • Sirius: Hey, little one.
  • Nymphadora: I MAWWY WEMUS WHEN I BIG!
  • Sirius: Er, yeah... sure...
  • Andromeda: Let's let poor Remus breathe, darling.
  • Nymphadora: *jumping on Remus's lap and hugging him tight* ME HUG WEMUS.
  • Remus: *to Sirius* Help. Me.
Fake Chats #119
  • Jimin: hey, Kookie, remember when you were entering high school, how small and tiny and cute you were?
  • Jungkook: I'm pretty sure you've got two out of three wrong.
  • Jimin: and you were this lost, little baby and we went out to eat and we were just so proud and you couldn't stop smiling?
  • Jungkook: again, only partly true.
  • Jimin: and now you're a big adult but you're still so cute and I'm so proud of how well my little Kookie is turning out!
  • Jungkook: I'm proud of me too.
  • Jimin: stop growing up! *flings himself onto Jungkook*
  • Jungkook: um, hyung?
  • Jimin: you used to be my baby, what happened to you? *something that sounds suspiciously like a sob*
  • Jungkook: hyung I...I'm still your baby, don't worry.
  • Jimin: promise?
  • Jungkook: *rolls his yes* I promise.
  • Jimin: can I sleep with you?
  • Jungkook: way ahead of you, hyung.
HIGHLY SUSPECT             Sentence Starters
  • "I don't want to be in my skin..."
  • "I feel like I'm ready to blow..."
  • "The truth is that I can't breathe, and I can't feel and I can't move..."
  • "I'm starting to think that maybe there is no God..."
  • "When you're up against the world, it shows..."
  • "Well I'm out here drowning and surrounded by an ocean of emotion..."
  • "This can't be real..."
  • "Baby, I'm broken..."
  • "Feels like you just keep on pullin' me down..."
  • "Will it ever be the same again...?"
  • "Tell me what's worse than this...?"
  • "You are the one that I used to love..."
  • "I've seen better days..."
  • "I've seen your best and worst..."
  • "At your worst, you're still the best..."
  • "At my best, I am the worst..."
  • "What's worse is all the coke..."
  • "The ice that numbs my throat, if only for the night..."
  • "It's just a fact cause I am here to win this fight..."
  • "Hey, I'm feeling OK, it's good..."
  • "Lately I been feeling so strange..."
  • "I'd be better off dead..."
  • "It's been getting harder to sleep..."
  • "But I'm still here, so..."
  • "Why don't you pour me another one..."
  • "I'm so cold again..."
  • "My patience is wearing thin..."
  • "I feel like death is coming soon..."
  • "All I wanna do is fuckin' sleep..."

reduxrose  asked:

"Aren't demons supposed to be big and scary?" Trini huffed, tugging her beanie down, "Not my fault I'm still growing." "Wait? You're still growing?!" Kim stepped forward towards Trini's seated form, grabbing the shorter girl's beanie off the top of her head. "Hey! What the fuck––" Peaking just out from her hairline was a pair of nubby twisting horns. "Ohmygod.You're a–" "Don't you dare say it Hart!" Kim cooed,"A baby demon!"


Twenty Abduction Starters
  • "Hey, hey, hey, hush, I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm just gonna keep you for myself."
  • "_____, enough. You aren't escaping again. I made sure of it."
  • "I REALLY don't want to punish you, but if you don't stop, I will."
  • "Little one, I know you're confused, but I'M going to be your Mommy/Daddy now."
  • "Shut up! Bad pet, get back in your cage!"
  • "Stop screaming, nobody can hear you but me and the ghosts anyways."
  • "Hmph. You're a fighter. Good, I'll enjoy breaking you."
  • "Here's the deal. I. Own. You."
  • "I'm gonna make your screams echo, baby."
  • "Welcome to your new home."
  • "You'll get used to the handcuffs sooner or later."
  • "I know you're scared, but I won't hurt you. I love you!"
  • "I'm going to count to five,give you a headstart. You have until sunset to escape."
  • "Go on, keep begging."
  • "If you give in, it'll be easier."
  • "If you bite me, I'll muzzle you, pet."
  • "This is going to be a nice weekend, for me, at least. I hope your gag isn't too tight."
  • "You're so cute, struggling like that."
  • "You don't need to cry. It's not like your life was going anywhere before me."
  • "I'm going to give you purpose, to serve me as I deserve."
Visiting trini.
  • Kimberly: hey babe. Sorry I haven't been around lately. Zordon has us training extra hard and breaking in the new girl.
  • -Kimberly places the flowers she got for trini next to her-
  • Kimberly: baby don't be like that. I think you'd like her. Aiesha is a sweetheart. And she reminds me of you a lot. But...nobody could ever replace you.
  • -Kim's smile drops from her face for a second before she looks back up?
  • Kimberly: want to know what we did today? We got our new zords. Guess who gets to control the firebird? You're looking at her. - a smug smile appears on Kim's face-
  • Kimberly: Oh and tommy? He's back now. He's got white armor and everything. Billy is also dating now. Everything is moving so fast...I wish...I wish you were here to see it.
  • -Kimberly kneels down on the grass and places the flowers in front of the stone monument. Her fingers tracing over Trina's name engraved on the head stone-
  • Kimberly: I can't do this without you trini. The training, the ship, there's just..,too much space.
  • -she brings her hand to her mouth as she begins to sob.-
  • Kimberly: Comeback Trini...please...-she whispers- come back...
Impulse Introduces Young Justice
  • Impulse: Welcome to Mount Justice! Formally used by the Justice League now used by us! Just us! Just-ice, Young... Anyway, here's the Team! Over there is Mom
  • Superboy: Stop calling me Mom!
  • Impulse: Mom is so funny, I love him. Then we have Dad, he and Mom are always fighting but they really love each other
  • Robin: Not this again...
  • Impulse: Dad is very smart, he gives me the disappointed Dad look all the time but he does it cause he loves me. Also he wears ties sometimes
  • Robin: Way to adhere to gender norms
  • Impulse: Then we have Arrowette, our sophisticated drunk aunt who gets into arguments with Dad over politics
  • Robin: That's not-
  • Arrowette: Shut your mouth you bourgeoisie prick
  • Superboy: Don't you mean /bird/-qeoisie?
  • Impulse: omg Mom you're so embarrassing. Wonder Girl is our other Aunt
  • Wonder Girl: Hey! I'm not that old!
  • Impulse: No but you're the cool Aunt, the one who takes the kids to dangerous places and is generally a wild, disruptive influence
  • Wonder Girl: Yeah ok, that's probably right
  • Secret: And me?
  • Impulse: You're the cute baby sister! Loved and adored by everyone but also feared because of the immense power you hold over everyone?
  • Arrowette: What are you? The Dog?
  • Impulse: Rude, I'm the precious baby brother who is coddled and protected by the whole family
  • Superboy: Really? That's how you think of us?
  • Wonder Girl: He kind of has a point Mom
  • Superboy: I'm going to punch you into the-
  • Robin: I'm going back to Gotham, I can deal with that kind of crazy.
  • Impulse: Bye Dad! Have fun at work!
The sum of every song in Hamilton
  • Alexander Hamilton: it me, ya boy ham
  • Aaron Burr, Sir pt. 1: hey Burr, we're both orphans and I'm really smart and I want to graduate college in 2.6 seconds like you
  • Aaron Burr, Sir pt. 2:
  • My shot:
  • The story of tonight: were about to go to war but we have freedom and it's going to be great
  • The Schuyler sisters:
  • ANGELICAAAA (work work) ELiZZA and leggy
  • Farmer refuted:
  • Our boy ham straight up flames our British pal Sammy boy
  • You'll be back: meanwhile
  • , King George III is in Britain and is lying to himself
  • Right hand man:
  • Burr: hey hi hello I exist
  • George washing-machine:
  • Alexandre: general washingmachine you called for me
  • Burr: -,-
  • George washingmachine: HAM YOU'RE HERE BE MY SECRETARY
  • Ham: what no thanks
  • Washingmachine: pls
  • Ham: ok fine
  • A winters ball:
  • The boys: WE ALL LIKE GIRLS
  • Laurens: ,:)
  • Helpless:
  • Ham: hey marry me
  • Eliza: :)ok:)
  • Satisfied:
  • *flashback*
  • Angelica: I like alexandre
  • Eliza: I like alexandre
  • Angelica: oh okay *throws herself out of the window*
  • The story of tonight *reprise*: our boys ham, laurens, Hercules mulligan and Lafayette are really drunk
  • Wait for it: Burr is in politics but has no political opinion and nobody exactly knows what he's waiting for
  • Stay Alive:
  • A ham: daaad commme ooooon let me fiight
  • George washingmachine: ehhhhhhh I don't knooow let's send in lee
  • Charles Lee: IM A GENERAL WHEEEE
  • George washingmachine: that was a mistake
  • Ten duel commandments: Lauren's wants to duel lee because he was being salty towards our favorite dad, George washing machine, and they do and Lee gets shot
  • Meet him inside
  • George washingmachine: wtf ham
  • Alexandre: lee started it
  • George washingmachine: son stop
  • A ham: I AM NOT YOUr SON
  • George washingmachine: go home
  • That would be enough:
  • Alex: Eliza I'm poor
  • Eliza: I know idc lol
  • Alex: :)
  • Guns and ships:
  • General washingmachine: hey alexandre pls come back
  • History has its eyes on you:
  • George washingmachine: hey son, if you make any mistakes everyone in the future will probably only focus on that
  • Yorktown:
  • The colonies: HEY WE WON THE WAR
  • What comes next:
  • King George III: haha good luck running a country lol see ya
  • Dear Theodosia:
  • Burr: I had a baby girl she's cute and her name is theodosia
  • Non-Stop:
  • Burr: Alexandre why can't you shut up
  • Alexandre: Kay I will
  • *later*
  • Alexandre: look I wrote 51 essays in 2 seconds to defend the US constitution
  • Burr: WHAT
  • What'd I miss:
  • Thomas Jefferson: hey I'm back from France
  • Hamilton: who r u
  • Cabinet battle #1:
  • Thomas Jefferson: your financial plan is dumb
  • Ham: ur dumb I don't agree
  • Washingmachine: Alexandre calm down
  • Thomas Jefferson & James
  • Madison: no1 likes you
  • Washingmachine: they right you need to calm down
  • Take a break:
  • Eliza & Angelica: stop writing for once and leave with us to go somewhere
  • Ham: no
  • Eliza &angelica: wow fuk u 2 then
  • Say no to this:
  • Mariah Reynolds: my husbands abusive please have an affair w/ me
  • Everyone: NO DONT DO IT
  • Ham: I guess I have no choice okay I will
  • *later*
  • James Reynolds: ur having an affair with my wife give me money
  • Ham: k here u go
  • The room where it happens:
  • Ham: I'm having a meeting with James and Thomas
  • Burr: wat
  • Ham: we're deciding where the capital is
  • Burr: hey I wanna go
  • Ham: no
  • Schuyler defeated: burr is now senator instead of hamiltons father in law and ham is salty abt it
  • Cabinet battle #2:
  • Jefferson: lets help France with their war
  • Ham: wat no not another war
  • Washingmachine: he's right
  • Thomas: wtf of course you take his side
  • Washington on your side:
  • Jefferson: I don't like Alexandre
  • Madison: he wouldn't be so high up w/ out Washington
  • Jefferson: lets ruin his career
  • One last time:
  • Washingmachine: oops I'm not president anymore
  • Alexandre: dad no
  • Washingmachine: byyyyye
  • I know him:
  • King George III: what john Adams is the president now lol good luck
  • The Adams administration:
  • We know:
  • Madison, burr &Jefferson: you took government funds ur career is over
  • Ham: lol no I just cheated on my wife
  • Hurricane:
  • Ham: I've fought everyone, except for myself
  • Ham: I guess I'll change that
  • The Reynolds pamphlet:
  • Alexandre: Time to publish the details of my affair before anyone else for some reason and ruin my marriage
  • Everyone: wtf
  • Burn:
  • Eliza: hey wtf Alexandre ur the worst
  • Blow us all the way:
  • Philip: I'm really smart and I just graduated
  • Philip: hey wait George Eacker just said somthin mean abt my dad alexandre
  • Philip: hey Eacker lets duel
  • George: what okay
  • *later*
  • Philip: *aims gun at sky hoping that Eacker won't shoot and no one will die*
  • Hey this looks the the perfect opportunity to not shoot
  • Eacker: how bout I do AnYWAy
  • Stay alive:
  • Philip: oh no I'm dying
  • Alexandre: no pls
  • Eliza: WAIT WHAT
  • Philip: mom I'm dying
  • Eliza: wat no
  • Philip: oops I did
  • It's quite uptown:
  • Alexandre: hey our son is dead and I'm sorry
  • Eliza: I accept your apology
  • Eliza&ham: ;-;
  • The election of 1800:
  • Madison: hey burr is probably going to win the election
  • Jefferson: what no
  • Madison: if Alexandre likes you over burr you could win
  • Burr: wow everyone likes me
  • *later*
  • It's a tie
  • Everyone: Alexandre
  • Everyone: Jefferson or Burr
  • Ham: Jefferson
  • Burr: what
  • Oh look Jefferson is president now
  • Your obedient servant:
  • Burr: ham you cause all my problems
  • Ham: that sounds like a YOU problem
  • Burr: duel me
  • Ham: k
  • Best of wives, best of women:
  • Eliza: y r u up
  • Ham: I have a meeting
  • Eliza: Kay
  • Eliza: u better not be having an affair
  • The world was wide enough:
  • Burr: oops I killed ham I didn't mean too
  • Who lives, who dies who tells, who tells your story:
  • Everyone: :( Alexandre died
  • Eliza: I'm going to tell his story :)

anonymous asked:

Hey i know you write pregnant fic but maybe if you get a time you write new? But pls not future Betty pragnant. Btw I love your fic, you're so talented

Hi! I’ve gotten so many Bughead pregnancy fics, most of them being in highschool and keeping the baby, so here goes! There will be two parts. I hope you all like this. I tried to tie them all together. Also, this is sort of a tie-in with Break A Sweat (Part 2) since I didn’t mention them using any birth control.

Teen Pregnancy Twist

“Shit, no, no, no.” Betty muttered to herself as she stared at the result of the test in her hand.

Her parents were both at work; Betty had left school early for the first time in her life to go to the pharmacy to get the cardboard pack of tests. She had been throwing up for the past week - she knew something was up.

She ripped the plastic off the second test in the pack. Moments later, she had two tests with two plus signs staring up at her.

She set the tests down with a shaky hand and picked up her phone.

Come over when you can, pls babe she typed quickly.

She quickly got a reply. Fred wants me to help him with some lawn stuff - I’ll be over as soon as possible.

Betty sighed and padded out of the bathroom, grabbing the positive tests as she left. She changed into her most comfortable pajamas and flopped down onto her bed. Her plan was to take a nap, but her mind was racing. She ended up turning on the small television on her desk, settling on a cheesy Lifetime movie.

Hours later, Jughead climbed through the window of Betty’s bedroom. He looked absolutely exhausted.

“Jug,” Betty breathed. “What have you been doing? You look like you’re about to fall over.”

Jughead stretched as he climbed over the window bench. “I’m fine, Bets. Just lots of work at school - then lots of work at Freds. I didn’t get a good nights sleep.”

He yawned as he sat next to Betty on her bed. He placed a kiss on her forehead. “So, what’s up? Your text sounded urgent - I’m sorry I couldn’t come any faster.” He took her hand in his, entwining his fingers with hers.

“Well, you’re here now,” Betty smiled weakly.

“I’m dying of thirst - can I have some water? I’d get it myself, but your mom -”

Betty nodded, smiling. “I got it. I’ll be right back.”

“And then we’ll talk, I promise.” Jughead smiled.

Betty padded down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her parents were sitting in the living room, talking quietly to each other, a glass of wine in each of their hands.

Betty took two bottles of water out of her fridge. As she reached the top of the landing, she felt her stomach lurch - she made it to the bathroom; unloading whatever she had eaten that day into the toilet.

She sat on the bathroom floor to make sure the nausea had passed. She slowly got to her feet, brushed her teeth, and picked up the bottled water she had dropped in the hall.

She padded down the hallway and pushed open her bedroom door.

Jughead had pushed his shoes off, his hat had fallen off his head, and his mouth hung open; he was sprawled out on Betty’s bed, fast asleep.

Betty smiled and gently sat next to him. She placed a delicate kiss on his lips and pulled a blanket around him. She lifted his hat from the bed and held it in her palm. She placed it on her head, reveling in how much comfort it gave her.

“You’re going to be a dad,” Betty whispered.

A week later, Betty still hadn’t worked up the courage to tell Jughead while he was conscious. The doctor had confirmed yesterday what the home test told her.

Betty stood outside the Andrews’  house, waiting for Jughead to come outside. This was it.

“Hey, Sunshine,”  Jughead called as he closed the front door.

“Hey, Handsome,” Betty replied, a smile on her lips. “Want to take a walk with me?”

“Of course,” Jughead smiled and laced his fingers between Betty’s.

A few moments went by with chit-chat from Jughead. They were almost at Pop’s.

“Jughead, I have to tell you something.” Betty breathed.

“What is it?” Jughead asked, concern crossing his face.

Betty took a deep breath. “I - I’m pregnant.” Her voice shook.

Jughead stopped walking. “What?”

“I’m pregnant, Jug.”

“H-how? How - I need to sit down.” Jughead looked around him and decided to sit on the curb.

“Are you okay?” Betty asked, emotion filling her voice. She sat next to him and held his hand tightly.

“You’re pregnant?”

Betty nodded.

“How long have you known? H-how far along are you?”

“I went to the doctor yesterday. I’m about four and a half weeks.”  Betty bit her cheek.

“Wow,” Jughead breathed.

“Tell me what you’re thinking…”

“I just can’t believe we’re going to be a family.”

Betty’s eyebrows knit together. “You want us to have this baby?”

“Don’t you?” Jughead asked, rubbing this thumb gently across Betty’s palm.

“I was thinking about it, yeah. I mean, at first, I didn’t know, but I don’t really want to give it up, either.” Betty took a deep breath. “I’m just… surprised you would want to. It’s a lot for a 16 year old to-”

“Betty.” Jughead cupped her face in his hands. “This is a little faster than either of us planned but I’ve always planned on having a family with you - you are my family. I love you, Betty. We can do this.”

Happy 22nd Birthday, Harry Styles!

If singers had a group chat together...
  • Demi: We're cool for the summer!
  • Justin: Where are you now?
  • Katy: We're chained to the rhythm
  • Selena: I want you to know...
  • Justin: What do you mean?
  • Selena: I'm so sick of that same old love
  • Alessia: I'll be over here...
  • Julia: They've got issues
  • Justin: Is it too late now to say sorry?
  • Selena: It ain't me
  • Troye: Only fools fall for you
  • Bebe: I got you
  • Ariana: FOCUS ON ME!
  • Taylor: In your wildest dreams!
  • Demi: What's wrong with being confident?
  • Ariana: I'm a dangerous woman
  • Camila: I wanna do bad things to you
  • BTS: Not Today!
  • Ariana: One last time, I need to be the one who takes you home
  • Shawn: I can treat you better
  • Adele: Hello...
  • Drake: You used to call me on my cell phone
  • The Weeknd: I only call you when it's half past 5
  • Alessia: You're beautiful just the way you are
  • One Direction: But baby I'm perfect
  • Ed Sheeran: I'm in the love with the shape of you
  • Imagine Dragons: You made me a believer
  • Troye: You drive me wild
  • Walk the Moon: Shut up... and dance with me!
  • MAGIC!: Why ya gotta be so rude?
  • Melanie: They call you crybaby
Pick-Up Line Starters
  • " Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious! "
  • " Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! "
  • " I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you! "
  • " Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! "
  • " Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle! "
  • " Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? "
  • " Hey, I just got my room soundproofed. Would you like to go test it out? "
  • " It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! "
  • " Is stalking still cute? "
  • " If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. "
  • " You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket? "
  • " Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope. "
  • " Is it bright out here, or is that just your halo? "
  • " Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes. "
  • " Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel! "
  • " If I had a nickel every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, then I'd have five cents. "
  • " Baby I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock. "
  • " Is Your Name WiFi? Because I'm Really Feeling a Connection. "
  • " Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin? "
  • " One night with me and they'll be calling you MOANING Myrtle. "
  • " Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction? "
  • " You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power. "
  • " I lost my virginity. Can I have yours? "
  • " Are you my homework? Cause I'm not doing you but I definitely should be. "
  • " I think I need a Paralyze Heal, because you're stunning. "
  • " Can I get into YOUR Secret Base? "
  • " Your beauty has pierced my heart like a Morgul Blade. "
  • " Are you the ring? 'Cause I've got my eye on you. "
  • " I bet your license got suspended for driving all these guys crazy. "
  • " If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public. "
  • " I seem to have lost my underwear, can I see yours? "
  • " That's a nice pair of yoga pants... can I talk you out of them? "
  • " Do you like yoga? If you do, then Yoganna LOVE me! "
  • " Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat. "
  • " Lets do it Adam and Eve style, behind some bushes. "
  • " Hi, I just realized this but you look a lot like my next boyfriend. "
  • " The skies are pale compared to the color of your eyes. "
  • Twice: Happy birthday Tzuyuuu
  • Tzuyu: thank you😊
  • Jeongyeon: So what do you want for your birthday
  • Tzuyu: *brings out list*
  • Tzuyu: I want Nayeon eonnie, Jeongyeon eonnie, Momo eonnie, Jihyo eonnie, Mina eonnie, Dahyun eonnie and Chaeng.... oh and bread (and maybe see my baby gucci)
  • Dahyun: woah
  • Nayeon: thats so bold
  • Jihyo: ahhh our lil Tzu Tzu is growing up
  • Jihyo: and finally someone notices my gayness
  • Twice: what?
  • Jihyo: what
  • Chaeyoung: um... anyways...
  • Sana: Hey what about me? *cries*
  • Tzuyu: *looks at sana*
  • Tzuyu: but you're already mine
  • Twice: ...
  • Once: ...
  • Satzu shippers: Its caNON--
  • Jyp: ...
  • Whole world: ...
  • Mina: Omo
  • Momo: wait doesnt that mean u want us to be your girlfriends too???
  • And thus is how Tzuyu became a snake
  • Jkjk happy birthday Tzuyu!!!!
A story about professionals who are kinda crappy at their jobs
  • Baby: Left a few days ago.
  • Us: Doing alright. Cleaning, sorting toddler stuff, petting the newborn stuff and considering respite. Crying some.
  • Social Worker: Calls
  • SW: Hey, I know you sent an email detailing 1000 things about the baby's services and needs and blah blah blah but can you maybe just tell me instead of having me read it.
  • Me: I...okay?
  • SW: Hey, so, what are your plans now...like...are you going to take another placement or take a break or...?
  • Me: I...we...I don't...OF COURSE WE WOULD TAKE HER BACK, if that's what you're hinting at.
  • SW: I'm optimistic, but wanted to make sure you were an option in case...well...in case.
  • SW: Is it okay if I put you in the emergency list, too? They might call you on a weekend.
  • Me: WTF OF COURSE, any time, any day, are you this dense? Do people say no to this?
  • SW: But if you have a placement...
  • Me: Lady. We have two legal beds. We never take more than one baby because we aren't crazy. We will literally always have a space for her, Jesus Christ.
  • SW: Gushes about how we are such lovely foster parents and we did so much for her and...
  • Me: Kinda wants to strangle her.
  • Me: Thanks?
  • Me: ...
  • Me: Texts wife, cusses some, thinks the GAL and SW are now in cahoots to make us feel crazy and have zero closure. So. Thanks for that.
  • Me: Buys newborn cloth diapers on the internet. For reasons.
Viktor and Yuuri competing over which one of them gets to be their daughter's first word
  • <p> <b>Yuuri:</b> Kaya, sweetie, can you say "dada?" It's easy, listen- "d a d a"<p/><b>Viktor:</b> Don't listen to daddy, he's mean remember?<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> Hey!<p/><b>Viktor:</b> He wouldn't let us get those super cool little baby skates.<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> Viktor, she's 10 months old. She's still learning how to walk.<p/><b>Viktor:</b> It's for the aesthetic!<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> You're ridiculous, honestly.<p/><b>Viktor:</b> ANYWAY, say "papa," Kaya. "p a p a"<p/><b>Kaya:</b> *cute confused baby noises*<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> *laughing* That's right, you tell him.<p/><b>Viktor:</b> I have been betrayed by my own family.<p/></p>
  • Aphobes: We care about the autistic community!
  • Aphobes: Aspec is for autistic people only!
  • Autistics: Hey can you stop spreading misinformation? Aspec isn't our word and never was. You're hurting asexual and aromantic people in our name and we're not okay with it.
  • Aphobes: Shhhhh you poor innocent children, let us protect you, precious babies, you're just too fragile to speak for yourselves uwu
EXO Roasts Suho
  • Xiumin: "I know our family names are the same, but I always make sure people know we aren't related..."
  • Lay: "You're not that great!! You don't clean up!! And your husband left you."
  • Baekhyun: "You may have more money, but I've got more paper." *holds up his long list of lines in every song* "Those seven years of training really show."
  • Chen: *rubs it in by holding up his own long list of lines* "SM knows what's best, I suppose, letting you have five lines per album in EXO instead of in ShinEE."
  • Chanyeol: "You wouldn't share your vitamins with me, I think it was for my own good. I don't want to become a... loser!!!" *extremely proud of that burn* "Also, I dab better than you."
  • D.O: "If I had a choice between one of your jokes and living inside Chanyeol's brain for a day, it would not be a difficult choice." *imagines not having to hear the joke and also being able to shut off Chanyeol's brain*
  • Kai: "Even I don't laugh at your jokes. And I laugh at floating plastic bags. And I'm still waiting for an explanation for this abomination of a dance move:" *shows very end of Call Me Baby*
  • Sehun: "Ajusshi... oops, I mean, hyung. Actually, no, I do mean ajusshi. You're old. And when you're gone, Vivi WILL take over and bring us every award we deserve. Which will be all of them."

anonymous asked:

hey baby, so, i'm truly looking forward to send you a synastry request, but since you have work to do, i'll wait patiently. just wanted to ask you to please inform us when you're free and congratulate you for your awesome work. thank you bae and have a good day

thank you so much for your patience! i have a lot of requests and just putting up a post every day is hard with my schedule. i wish i could be more active and answer more asks T.T but i will continue trying my hardest for you guys