hey where's my money


Hello naughty children it’s time to cater to my gay ass submit your most Doc-tailored fanfic (either SM or OW and fuck I might award prizes for both) to sailorvagina@gmail.com (its a long story, I had it to submit to jet and now I have a side email)  with a four letter/number code so ideally it’s tumblr-name-blind by Sunday July 16th at 11:59 Mountain time and I’ll announce the most ~preferred content~ winner, who I will give a certificate for commission work from an artist. 


Little Thief (Newt x Reader)

Originally posted by openyoureyestothebeautyaround

Warnings: May contain a very jealous Newt and is fairly long

Prompt: The reader was forced to go on a date by Queenie. She was actually enjoying herself when she lost her mother’s ring. so where’d it go?

               (Y/n) bit her lip nervously as she glanced around the restaurant. Her fingers were tapping the table nervously. It seemed Queenie took it upon herself to set (Y/n) up with someone. But frankly she wasn’t interested in dating at all…

                Well she would date one guy. That would be the adorable, awkward, and sweet Hufflepuff, Newt Scamander. So Queenie thought (Y/n) would feel better by going out on date, but it wasn’t really helping. She sighed and glanced at her hand. Her mother’s ring glittered softly in the candle light seeming to soothe the girl’s nerves. 

                It couldn’t be so bad… Right? Right. (Y/n) took a sip of her wine hoping it would help relax her nerves. She shouldn’t be so worried about meeting some stranger. After all it was just for one night. She sighed finally feeling herself starting to relax. 

               (Y/n) giggled at what the man said. It turned out the man wasn’t too bad. He was rather amusing and seemed to genuinely like her company. “Did you really do that Jackson?”

                 The wizard laughed giving (Y/n) a charming smile. “Yes. You wouldn’t believe my mother’s disbelief when I came home that night.”

               She laughed smiling back at him. “Oh I could probably guess.” She clasped her hands together and froze realizing something.

                The ring was gone. (Y/n) shot up looking around nervously. “No no no… It can’t just vanish.” 

                 Jackson’s stood up dusting himself off. “What’s happened? What’s gone?”

                (Y/n) fell on her knees scanning the floor in search for the glittering jewel. “My mother’s ring. I was wearing it, but now it’s gone!” Her eyes drifted across the crowd trying to ignore the gaping hole in her stomach. How would she be able to find it in this crowd? 

                “Don’t worry I’m sure-…” (Y/n) blocked Jackson out the moment she saw it. A familiar black mass scurrying underneath the tables, stopping every so often to stuff other shiny items in it’s pouch. She felt her throat constrict as anger started to bubble under her skin.

                “I have to go.” She suddenly stood up slipping through the tables chasing after the niffler. The little creature shuffling quickly as he weaved between tables letting out little squeaks every time (Y/n) got close. She only froze when she saw the little creature leap at a very familiar person.

                 “What? Niffler? What did you do?” Newt Scamander was sitting at the table. He had a firm grip on the little creature as it squeaked and squirmed slightly.

                  “Why don’t you tell me what he did Newt,” (Y/n) growled crossing her arms. Her eyes narrowed at the curly haired hufflepuff. What was he even doing here? He knew she was on a date! 

                    Newt’s eyes widened instantly as he gave her a nervous smile. “(Y/n)! F-Fancy seeing you here. W-what are you doing?” (Y/n) scowled clearly not amused. Newt sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “S-sorry (Y/n)….”

                    (Y/n) sighed looking away from Newt. “You better be Newt… You made me look silly… And your innocent little Niffler,” Niffler slumped slightly feeling guilty. “stole my mother’s ring.”

                      Newt looked down at the Niffler frowning. Niffler grudgingly pulled the ring out of his pouch which Newt gladly took from him. (Y/n) took the ring from Newt and put it back on. She gazed at Newt expectantly. The man sighed and gazed at the floor shifting nervously. “I’m sorry (Y/n)… I was just worried…” Newt scowled slightly catching her off guard. “But I was going to leave when I saw you having fun with that guy…”

                        Newt was definitely acting strange. He didn’t strike (Y/n) as the jealous type. She blushed slightly as butterflies started forming in her stomach. “Newt are you… jealous?”

                         Newt’s face went blood red as he fidgeted nervously in his seat. “W-What n-n-no! O-Of course not! That’s p-preposterous!” He was nervously stroking Niffler as if he could save the wizard from his predicament. 

                          (Y/n) smiled a mischievous glint in her eyes as kissed the top of Newt’s head. “Sure you aren’t. Well then I guess I’ll just go back to Jackson.” She started to leave when someone, Newt, grabbed her wrist.

                           “No! A-Alright I w-was… j-jealous.” She giggled and turned to face Newt. The poor boy’s face was blood red and he kept fidgeting nervously. “It’s only c-cause… I um… F-F-Fancy you…” He kept nervously glancing up at (Y/n) before glancing back down.

                            She smiled and sat down across from him. “Don’t worry Newt…” She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. “I fancy you as well…”

Extra Ending:

                             “Hey where did my money go?” Someone said a little ways down.

                              (Y/n) and Newt’s eyes widened. “Niffler!” A squeak was heard and soon the two were chasing after the mischievous creature once more. 

I changed like two words and got somewhat better results. more proof of just how bad at searching things up I am.

unfortunately I have another problem. all the results I got were specific to where the money was invested. I don’t know where this money was invested or anything about it except that my mom put some money somewhere in my name in like 2008 or something, over the years the amount of money in that place in my name has grown, as of I think last year there was like $900,000/$9,000,000/I don’t remember the exact number of zeros just that it was a lot, and that I can’t access it till I turn 21. that’s all I know and I’m pretty sure I can’t ask my mom.

Meat Cute, 9/9

Or where there is finally, finally, a wedding. Buckle your seats kids. This one’s a long one.

Several thank yous are in store now that this is finally finished! Thank you @zilleniose-chu for being a wonderful human being, for creating TAU and the blog, and letting us all play with your idea babies. Thank you @marypsue for all of your amazing writing advice and help, not to mention letting me spaz on you on the reg. Thank you anon on the blog who sent in these two asks and let me use ideas from them.  Thank you @randumbdaze for the art and thank you to the rest of the mods for letting me moan and groan at you.

And of course, thank you, my readers, for actually reading! I never would have imagined a year ago how big this would get or that people would want to read about my babies! So thank you, thank you again, and happy anniversary!


As Henry explained to the triplets when they asked years later, he had never officially moved in to the Shack. He had never asked and Mabel had never offered. It was just assumed that it would be a thing that happened. 

So by the first month of them going out Henry had a toothbrush in Mabel’s bathroom, and some of his underwear and socks in a small folded pile on a chair in her room. Five months and some of his favorite books had found their way onto various side tables and shelves. His stays went from overnight to two or three nights, to a week at a time, and Uncle Tyler constantly giggled at him and told him to “Get it!” (Which in turn made both Henry and Uncle Dan blush.)

Henry went ahead and moved the remainder of his stuff into the Shack three days after he proposed to Mabel, when a brand new room appeared overnight on the side of the Shack.

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