hey wanna hear a joke

Dick jokes are hard/Imagine your OTP
  • Me: Hey, wanna hear a joke about my dick?
  • Friend: What? You don't-
  • Me: Nevermind, it'd be too LONG anyways!
  • Friend: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Friend: You don't even have a dick.
  • Me: Why can't you take a joke, woman?!
Random starters
  • “I just got fired.”
  • “We have two options here - run, or give up. Which will it be?”
  • “I see no problem in using every food we have as a pizza topping.”
  • “Green isn’t really your color …”
  • “Truth be told, I’d rather get stomped on by a herd of cows than meet your parents.”
  • “I don’t care how it’s been before, but there are people depending on you now, so you need to get your shit together!”
  • “Hey, our outfits match!”
  • “Wanna hear a joke?”
  • “I always knew I couldn’t trust you.”
  • “Can you come to my place at 9 p.m. dressed as a mailman? I’ll explain later. Oh - and bring a shovel!”
  • “Let me braid your hair.”
  • “I warned you, didn’t I? Said you should be careful. Why didn’t you listen?”
  • “I gotta say, I’m really jealous of your eyes. Like they’re so pretty it looks like you have make up on even when you don’t.”
  • “Any reason you have 12 sixpacks of Red Bull in your fridge?”
  • “I’ve never seen you dressed like that before. You look … really pretty.”
  • “We need to get out of here quickly! There are people after us!”
  • “Ever since I met you, I’ve been having very shitty luck.”
  • “How can you come here after everything you did to me?”
  • “You ruined me.”
  • “My offer still stands.”
  • “I can stop if I want, I just don’t want to.”
  • “So … what’s someone like you doing in a place like this?”
  • “I can fit like 16 strawberries in my mouth!”
  • “Why do you always do exactly the opposite of what you should?!”
  • “Can you please stop interrupting me with your puns? I have something important to tell you.”
  • “I think you’d look really good on my bed, or the sofa. Seriously, you’re exhausted, go take a nap.”

A blind Dunmer is sitting in a tavern when he suddenly pipes up. “Hey, anyone wanna hear a joke about a dumb Nord?”

The man next to the blind Dunmer speaks up, “Before you tell this joke, there’s a few things you need to know.”

“Sure,” says the Dunmer, “What’s that?”

“Well, for one thing, the bartender is a Nord.” the man says, “And so is the doorman. And the man next to you, he’s a Nord, too. And the two very large men in the corner by the door, they’re Nords, as well. In fact, I’m a Nord, too.” The man leans in really closely to the blind Dunmer. “So, you still want to tell that joke about a dumb Nord?”

The blind Dunmer cleared his throat and smiled, “Nah… not if I’m going to have to explain it 6 fetchin’ times!”

wait so if there have been 10 other kids before eleven then i want us to find out by watching the boys talk to eleven and one of them (cough dustin) is like hey el wanna hear a joke and she’s like ok?????? and then he goes “why was six afraid of seven” ?????? “because seven eight nine” and eleven’s just like wait what??? how did you find out???? that was top secret??????

Savage!
  • 707 Hey hey yoosungg!!
  • Yoosung: Hello
  • 707: Wanna hear a joke?
  • Yoosung: Sure!
  • 707: Your birth, RIKA, your life, your hair, RIKA, your soul, your mind and...andd RIKA.
  • ---------Yoosung has left the chatroom--------