hey twilight this is how you vampire

my favorite thing about twilight is all the random tidbits of information that are super cool but also extremely shitpost worthy and all the people who think twilight is boring and all about romance need to get educated about vampire history

like the entire concept of the volturi and how they exist is interesting but also wild as hell

caius? he doesn’t have a talent. but his accentuated trait is that he’s just REALLY ANGRY and aro recruited him just because of this. can you imagine that going down?

“hey what’s up? do you have a cool talent?”
“no, i’m just EXTREMELY PISSED”
“dude that’s SICK, do you wanna join me in my plan to control the entire world?”

like caius got into a really bad scrape with a werewolf and almost got killed and his response was not to be afraid of werewolves and avoid them for the rest of forever but to hunt those motherfuckers to extinction. werewolves just don’t exist anymore because one of them pissed off caius and he decided to end their fucking species and if that’s not the most entertaining piece of lore you’ve ever heard then i don’t know what is

Dating Benjamin Would Include

i was requested to do benjamin, rami’s character in twilight: breaking dawn pt2! hope you all enjoy!

- sitting in the bath together, him making ripples and other little tricks of his from his element powers
- “hey..you wanna see something cool?”
- taking your hands in his, spinning around dust into a spiral, watching it float off your palms
- small nibbles along your neck and earlobe
- walking along tree branches barefoot
- him telling the story of how he got turned
- “no way! you’re sparkling!”
- watching cheesy vampire films, glancing over at him every now and then to see him cringe at almost every scene
- staying up late as he never sleeps, making sweet and warm love
- him eventually digging his teeth into your neck, sucking out your sweet and juicy blood to mark his territory as your mate
-fighting together against the volturi

browsbee  asked:

Hey, I saw you were asking for twilight headcanons. I've been wondering something about vampires and how they learn languages. Because of how languages change over time, do they track these changes so they appear normal and how do they do it? What do they consider their native language? Which one do the Volturi prefer to speak? I wonder if they use slang... Did Demetri and Heidi speak English as she led the victims just to scare Bella? So many questions 😅

I imagine a good percentage of the Volturi are very proficient in speaking multiple languages. 

They would have to be, right? They’re constantly travelling to places all over the world, and even with one language it’s always going to be changing over time. Not to mention they’ve all each been around for incredibly long amounts time.

Heidi and Demetri would have to be very multilingual. Heidi is always out away from home. Europe as a continent already has so many languages to begin with, and though its not specified, I’m sure her job takes her outside of Europe all the time to remain as inconspicuous and indiscriminate as possible. She lures people to her will with her physicality, and I would be very surprised if a big part of her persuasiveness and charm didn’t come from her social ability – hence the requirement to know so many languages.

Demetri on the other hand, while not having a talent that necessarily needs language as a skill directly, as a person whose job is tracking people literally all over the world, I doubt it could hurt to know the spoken languages of the countries you’re travelling to.

Aro I imagine picks up language pretty well with his power? In fact, honestly Aro could easily just understand the implications and meaning from a persons mind without speaking their language, whether through imagery or having the understanding connection that comes with his telepathy. In a way I could count his telepathy as a language in itself, albeit its a one way translation, but its a means of communication nevertheless. 

The inner coven speak a mixture of languages. Their native tongue is Latin, but more recently they also commonly speak in Greek and Italian. Etruscan is another one, but less commonly spoken. Its used between the leaders in public conversations where they wish to speak to amongst one another privately.

As for specifics of native languages to guard members, I imagine something like this:

  • Renata spoke Maltese (which at the time was apparently essentially Arabic)
  • Jane and Alec are both English speakers. Their language skills were very poor coming into being vampires, only ever getting the bare minimum of education as humans.
  • Felix spoke in Latin, being assumed (non-canonical) of origins from early Rome.
  • Chelsea and Afton are also both originally Latin speakers.
  • Heidi spoke in an earlier form of German.
  • Demetri had Greek (Byzantine) as his native language, but switched to a scattered mix of both Coptic and Old/Middle Egyptian after joining the Egyptian Coven.
  • Corin spoke in Gallic/Gaulish.
  • Santiago spoke Portuguese.

A lot of the time, applicant to both the inner coven and the guard, their language of choice fluctuates during the middle of a sentence, just because there’s so many, and most members there will understand them regardless.

Imagine...Watching Twilight With The Stilinski Triplets

Originally posted by melike9932

Originally posted by fyesdylanobrien

Originally posted by inderlander

Originally posted by twihardmuser

*Not my gifs

Stuart: *On his phone.

(Y/N): Give it here, Stewie.

Stuart: Hey. Anyways, what is this?

Stiles: I think (Y/N) tricked us into watching an action but it’s a romance movie.

(Y/N): It still has action.

Thomas: Eww. Romance. How can you let (Y/N) convince us to watch this?

Stuart: How can she fall in love a vampire? They don’t exist.

Stiles: Actually…

(Y/N): Don’t ruin this, Stiles!

Fang Boy and Lover Girl

Originally posted by irresistible-wentz

vampire Brendon smut if you have time :) love your blog!

A/N </ I was going to call this Panic! At the Twilight remake.


I was at my house in the pitch black. All the windows covered up. I was waiting for her to get here. I hear the key in the lock and foot steps getting closer and closer.

“Hey babe!” She says walking in and sitting down.

“Hey. How are you?” I ask

“I’m fine, you?”

“Ehh dark.”

We laugh. She moves her face closer to me and kisses me. I kiss her back as she climbs on top of my lap, grinding against me. Her hands start moving down to my pants so I stop her.

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Prompt List!

(These are all mine, if you steal them without crediting me, I will come for you.)

Make sure to tell me the fandom and character in your ask!

I write for Marvel, The Originals, and The Vampire Diaries.


1. “Wow.” / “That bad. huh?”/ “No, that was awesome.”

2. “Will you just shut up for a minute and let me think?!”

3. “I just wanted to make you happy.”

4. “You knocked on my door and two o’clock in the morning…to cuddle with me?”

5. “Asshole. Thinks he rules the world.”

6. “I can’t trust you.”


7. “Hey there, Twilight. How the undead lifestyle treating you? Well? Oh, that’s good to hear.”

8. “Take me to your leader. I always wanted to say that.”

9. “I’m a hunter, darling, I suppose you’ve heard of my kind?”

10. “See that guy over there? In the jacket? Yeah, he killed my mom. So now I’ll kill him in return. Sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

11.“Who are you?” / I’m a hunter.” / “Delightful.”

12.“If you hold me back right now, I will use this machete to chop of your hands.”

13. “Don’t test me.”


14. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

15. “I’ll protect you no matter what… even if it kills me.”

16. “I’m not scared.”

17. “Don’t you lecture me about right and wrong Mr. Big-Bad-Vampire!”

18. “This is real. I knew it!” / “What?” / “You honestly thought you could hide it from me? Funny, babe, real funny.”

19. “I know what I’m doing.”

20. “What the fuck?! I told you to stop leaving them lying around! Clean it up before I take your undead life!”

21. “You don’t scare me!”


22. “Shit. That’s not creepy at all.”

23. “You were protecting me. Why?”

24. “That’s not terrifying. Nope, not at all.”

25. “How could I not notice? The disappearing before the full moon, the warnings you gave me to stay inside, all of that and you thought I was just going to sit and think ‘oh yeah, it’s cool, my boyfriend is totally not a werewolf, he just likes to take long hikes in the mountains all by himself in the dead of night on a full moon.’ Seriously, babe, you’re an idiot sometimes.”

26. “Do I look afraid?”

27. “Why are you so sad? Hey, it’s alright, I’m not going to leave you. I’m not leaving.”

28. “I’m not scared of you, babe.”

29. “It’s hot.” / “Yeah?” / “Yeah, I like it.”

30. “I can hear your heartbeat from over here.“

Originally posted by animalgifdaily

anonymous asked:

ss authors criticising their works

37. writers criticizing each other’s works au



Everyone told him he just had to read her novels. “They’re amazing,” they said. “The characters are so realistic and deep,” they said. “Her writing style is original and astounding,” they said. “She’s such a talented author,” they said. He was reluctant at first. That genre – cheesy, girly, over-dramatic romance – wasn’t his thing. But his friends and co-workers – and even his mother – kept bugging him about it, so he had to give up.

He went to the bookstore and found her first novel – the title, Hawk of the Cherry Blossom Tree, made him cringe slightly – in the best-sellers section. He bought it for a few yen. He went home, prepared some tea, and sat on his favorite chair to read. He opened his mind and then the book, briefly relishing on its smell, and began.

An hour into it, he decided he just couldn’t go on.

“I tried,” he said to himself as he shut the book and put it on the coffee table. “I really did.”

But Haruno Sakura’s novel was absolutely, unbelievably, ridiculously terrible.

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