the funny feeling in his stomach and the weight that seemed to be bearing down on his chest had been lingering for about ten minutes before jace mustered up the courage to ask alec what was wrong.
“you’re upset about something.” alec looked up from his desk, an emotionless almost forced look on his face.
“i’m not upset about something. why would i be?” alec answered too quickly for jace to be convinced and he sat down on the desk next to alec, who now had his head bowed and was avoiding eye contact.
“i can feel it through our bond,” jace explained slowly, tapping his fingers on the desk. “it started just now. it’s funny because i’ve never felt this kind of emotion through the bond before. it’s like-” jace looked back at alec and was alarmed to see that he was shaking slightly, hands clenched so tightly his knuckles were white and he was biting his lip so hard he was sooner or later going to draw blood.
it fell together like puzzle pieces, dawning on jace like the start of a new day.
“heartbreak.” jace almost whispered and alec exhaled shakily through his nose, squeezing his eyes shut.
“oh, god, alec, i’m so sorry.” was all jace could manage to say before alec looked up at him for the first time in what felt like years, tears in his eyes and a teardrop clinging to his nose as if for dear life.
“do you want to talk about it?” jace asked carefully and alec shook his head rapidly and jace wanted to cry too because of how lost, how young and vulnerable alec looked in this moment, how shattered.
“i love him,” alec croaked out after a few seconds of silence, voice choked up and raw. “i love him so much, jace.”
“i know you do, buddy. believe me, i know.” jace said in a soothing tone, slowly putting his hand on alec’s back and rubbing.
“i’m so stupid,” alec laughed weakly, shaking his head and wiping his eyes. “i should have known, i should have realized this would never work out. that we come from two different worlds that would only try to tear us apart.”
“hey, hey,” jace put his hand on alec’s shoulder. “you’re magnus and alec. you two are made for each other.this is going to be okay, i promise.”
alec breathed in, tears now streaming freely down his face. “i don’t know, jace. i don’t know.” he repeated as if in a trance and jace took alec into his arms, holding his brother as he finally let a sob escape his lips.
“it will. i know it.” jace assured, even though he didn’t really know, but it was the best he could do, the best he could say and the only thing he could think of to say to his crying brother, who had his face buried in his shirt and was wetting the fabric with his tears. the weight on jace’s chest was heavier than ever and his stomach was churning up a storm.
i wonder if the shadowhunters fandom will ever realize that the reason they hate jace so much is because they’re used to the str8 white male lead having all their bs excused by fans as “his daddy was mean and his mom died when he was a bby :(” and now they’re putting those unfair expectations on jace and jace fans because when his fans say he’s difficult because he’s an abuse victim, all they hear is fans from long ago excusing every generic white boy on a teen show and it’s much easier to automatically hate someone who initially fits a stereotype than it is to shut up and pay attention to the fact that their problems clearly run psychologically deeper than “my father never smiled and that made me hate the world and treat everyone in it like garbage”
happy birthday to the beautiful and wonderful @maghnvsbane. you’re consistently kind and funny and you’re so wonderful to talk to, and i wish you nothing but the best in everything you do. i hope you had a wonderful day, and i love you so much. ❤️
Jace knocks on the door, pushing his hair out of his eyes and shoving his hands in his jean pockets. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, waiting for either Alec or Magnus to open the door. Alec wasn’t due at the Institute for another two hours, but Luke had called Jace personally and asked for an approval for a joint mission between shadowhunters and werewolves, so here Jace was, interrupting Magnus and Alec’s Sunday morning.
After another few seconds, the door is opened gently and Alec’s head pops out, eyes still half lidded and hair a bird’s nest on the top of his head.
“Jace,” Alec says, blinking more aggressively in attempt to wake himself up.