Forgiveness (Justin Foley x Reader)
Request; Hi how are you? Can I have a 13 reasons why imagine where you’re on the tapes because you gave Hannah hell after Justin cheated on you with her (which you found out through the text that sent around at the beginning of the show) and Justin trying to apologize to you when he realizes that the tapes were passed down to you
A/N; I’m gonna make a post after this about the next batch of imagines coming out.I made this kind of deep I felt like I was writing a chapter for my wattpad book ( sad ending kind of ) Also you didn’t really tell me how to end it so yea
There are time shifts
Word counter; 1,706(lmaoo long af)
Warnings; I guess Maybe talk about death, suicide(Hannah’s ) panic attacks blah blah blah
Alterations; Justin only has one tape reader it’s tape number 9
Present (Wednesday Morning )
We often make mistakes, we are human it is within our nature as we are raised we are taught that making mistakes isn’t as horrible.That those mistakes make us stronger and that we shall learn from them. What they forget to teach us is that a little mistake goes a long way and all actions have consequences.I made her life a living hell and for that, I will always be sorry but who would have thought that a little game would make a girl want to kill herself.Here I am laying in bed before getting ready for school thinking about all the things I could’ve done to save Hannah’s life. I killed Hannah baker I did it along with the others, Hannah didn’t commit suicide, we killed her, we killed her spirit and her will to live and we will carry that with us until the day we die.
It was Monday afternoon I was exhausted making my way home from school, this week has been crazy with Hannah Baker’s suicide and people wanting to create a memorial. I never really got along with Hannah after I found out Justin cheated on me with her. I make my way up the steps to reach my porch I spot a package with my name on it. I pick it up entering my house greeting my mom with a kiss and quickly making my way up the stairs.I reach my room throwing my bag on top of the bed and going over to my desk eager to open the package. I finally get the package open looking at the show box sitting in front of me. I slowly open it curious to see what’s inside but also scared of what it might contain. It didn’t look like a company package and I hadn’t ordered anything online.I open the package to find a set of tapes. Fifteen of them to be exact I look at the box with a puzzled look but decide to listen to it I pop the first tape in the radio and press play.
“Hey, it’s Hannah. Hannah Baker. That’s right. Don’t adjust your…whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to this tape you’re one of the reasons why. I’m not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise.”
My blood ran cold as I heard the intro to the first tape something told me I won’t get any sleep today.The first tape was dedicated to Justin, then Jessica, then Alex, then Tyler, and Courtney, and Marcus then Zach, even Ryan was in it.
This brings me to my tape number 9 my blood ran cold again as I heard the intro.“I can’t really blame you for what you did or the way you reacted, after all, I did kiss your boyfriend but at the time you didn’t let me explain, see the thing is that Justin never mentioned a girlfriend and since I wasn’t really popular I didn’t keep up with who was dating who. I thought Justin was single I should’ve known better I guess.On the contrary of what you think I didn’t sleep with Justin like everyone thought. That day when you walked in the cafeteria , I was already having a bad day , with the rumor of me sleeping with Justin going around school ,that picture and the fact that even Clay didn’t want to talk to me you turned out to be the cherry on top when you walked into the cafeteria and slapped me calling me a slut in front of everyone. I tried keeping my tears in as I rushed to the bathroom and that was the start of how you made my life a living hell (Y/N) welcome to your tape”
My body shook as I finished listening to my tape. My breathing became shallow and tears began to fall it was happening again.My chest began to tighten, I felt my throat close up making it harder to breathe my muscles began to twitch. I was having a panic attack after 6 months of them being gone they came back. I spend the next half hour trying to calm myself. Usually, it was Justin who helped me whispering sweet things to my ear trying to get me to calm my breathing the thing is that he’s no longer here and even though I miss him I don’t think I could ever take him back. He hurt me too much, he lied not only to me but to other people about Hannah.
I decided to stay home yesterday trying to keep myself together and prepare for school today.Justin has been texting and calling me non-stop since he found out I got the tapes, asking if I was okay if I needed anything asking if we could talk. I’ve been ignoring him after listening to the tapes I needed some time for myself to think and sort things out. Guilt was a constant emotion I felt these past days.That feeling when your heart sinks to your stomach the constant feeling of anxiety or like you’re being watched the sadness that comes with it and the certain feeling of darkness that it’s creeping its way to your heart.
After getting ready for school I walk to my car get in and start the engine in less than 10 minutes I’m parked in the parking lot of Liberty High finding the courage to actually step into the school.I get out the car and make my way to the high school entrance I walk through the halls with my head down trying to go unnoticed.I reach Hannah’s locker and stand in front of it looking at it, they decorated it pictures, flowers everyone acted as if they knew Hannah or cared if they cared she would be alive today. I spot Justin at the corner of my eye and my breathing begins to pick up its pace, looking one more time at Hannah’s locker I feel the tears begin to fall as I push my way through the crowd of people making my way to the bathroom.
My breathing starts becoming shallow and I feel it coming I push into one of the stalls trying to take deep breaths my throat begins closing in, I choke on my breathing as it gets harder for the air to get into my lungs.I feel someone open the door to the bathroom but I ignore it trying to focus on my breathing.The door to the stall opens but I keep my eyes focused on the floor trying my hardest to make air reach my lungs, someone picks me up and sits me on their lap hugging me tightly given the scent I know it’s Justin at any other moment I would’ve protested shoved him away from me but I wasn’t in the right mind and as much as I hate to admitted in moments like this he knew how to calm me down.I sat on his arms as he whispered sweet things to my ear and played with my hair.
My breathing began to slow down reaching its normal pace.I slowly move away from Justin’s arms whispering a hushed thank you as I try to stand up.
“ hey, wait I want to talk to you” he says pulling me down so I’m sitting on his lap again
“ why Justin there’s nothing to talk about thanks for the help but that’s it this is where it ends” I say my heart shattering with each word.
“ I just want you to forgive me, I’m truly sorry for everything and I love you and I always will and I regret everything from the start I want you back (Y/N) I can’t sleep at night thinking about how bad I fucked up and I miss you I miss you so much, I just wish I could go back and change everything” he says tears streaming down his face
“ I just don’t understand why you lied to me, you said that Hannah was the one that approached you, I hated her for the longest time for no reason, I drove her to kill herself, you drove her to kill herself, don’t ask me for forgiveness ask her, you killed her , I killed her we all did and everything for what huh?” I say trying to keep tears from falling
“ I don’t know what I was thinking, we all make mistakes please forgive me, I just want to be back with you, I know what I did was wrong and I regret it every day I just wanted to be cool and Bryce pushed me to send the picture around so I did but I never meant any harm and I just I love you please forgive me” he says getting closer to me.At this point, I can’t keep my tears in they flow out like a river
“Justin I’m not going to lie to you, I do I miss you, I miss you so much, my panic attacks started again and you’re the only one that helps me control them and I love you too I love you so much but right now I can’t get together with you we both need healing to do I forgive you I do but I just can’t be with you right now I need time” I say between sobs
“ can we at least be friends I need you in my life, I promise I’ll give you time , I’ll make you fall in love with me again slowly we can try please promise we’ll try” He says standing up. I hug him tightly“ Yes we can be friends and later on when we are fixed we can try,” I say smiling a little
“I have your forgiveness now I only need to win your heart back,” He says smiling