hey brig

shalinga-ling replied to your post: Taurus Roast Thread 

hey brig, what’re your thoughts on Virgos?

I’m a big fan of Virgos. Virgo boss. Virgo mom. Several Virgo pals

  • Treat their kids like report cards: “how am I doing?” the Virgo mother asks, wringing hands. “Are your self-esteem levels up? Do drugs? Have I failed? When is my performance review?”
  • Ambitious and power-hungry in ways that are very, very transparent. They aspire to be the subtle Scorpio power-behind-the-throne, but usually wind up the pissed off, underappreciated financial minister. 
  • Need to be in control at all times. How this manifests varies based on sun and mercury’s house, but no matter which way, it’s bound to be a shitshow to watch them try and pull it off
  • Worse than your run-of-the-mill health nut: a PICKY health nut. Girl I love my boss but he eats this 1 particular brand of imported chia cereal every damn day. I love him tho
  • Gossipy as high hell. There is a much higher chance of their gossip being 90% shade and jabs at other people. Not that I care. I mean, I’m a Gemini moon
  • Devastatingly fashionable, even the men. Makeup on point constantly
  • Loving and devoted spouses. We can smack-talk earth signs all day but they’re realists about their relationships unlike Me
  • Hard workers! Based on other parts of the chart, this can turn into pure martyrdom (cancer) or workaholism (cap or house X)… and so on
  • Embodiment of the devil’s advocate. They make wonderful attorneys and paralegals, but AWFUL to argue with. Homies need a 10 page essay with empirical evidence from 2010 onwards, footnoted in Chicago style