hey birdman

Get Out.

Originally posted by tess453

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Deciding to stay in for a date, Peter and the Reader are faced with annoying and embarrassing comments from the whole team, who are unaware of their relationship.

Word Count: 2,428

Warnings: language, fluff, annoying avengers (??), embarrassed!Peter, embarrassed!Reader, cuteness, LOTR trilogy. (Let me know if I missed any)

A/N: Alright homies, I apologize it has taken me so long to upload something. I’ve been reaally stressed. So hopefully this is okay? For the anon that requested this, I hope you like it. I’d love some feedback, as always. Enjoy reading!

Dark, gray clouds blocked any source of light from shining through the big, thick glass windows surrounding every inch of the building.

The entire tower was filled with a solemn mood that spread into every corner and room.

Most of the team dreaded days like these, since it put a damper on their mood, (especially Steve).

You, however, cherished days like these the most.

It’s where you find your peace and inner self, no matter how depressing that may sound.

It helps you relax and release any stresses that corrupt your thoughts.

But the best reason of all is that you don’t have to leave the house, even if you had a date with Peter tonight.

However, thinking that idea through, you realized something.

The whole team would be here.

With Peter and you.

During your date.

Well, fuck.

Keep reading


20 Times The Godfather Horse’s Head in Bed was Referenced

Shows and Movies in video: Hey Arnold, Modern Family, Captain planet and the planeteers, The king of queens, Harvey birdman, attorney at law, Raising hope, The simpsons, The young ones, The fairly odd parents, That 70’s show, Arrested development, Muita Calma Nessa Hora 2, The Nanny, Meatballs 4,
The loud house, Yes, dear

important quetions
  • Kirishima: bro, you think Bakugos gay?
  • Kaminari: IDK bro, I know how you could find out though!
  • Kirishima: HOW?!
  • Kaminari: go up to him and say, you gay bro?
  • Kirishima: no.
  • Kaminari: or... you could ask every one else in our class what they think.
  • Kirishima: Yes!!
  • Kaminari: I was kinda kidding.
  • ...
  • Kirishima: Hey Jirou!! Do you know if Bakugo is gay?
  • Jirou: why would I care and why do you ask?
  • Kirishima: Just curious.
  • Jirou: I dont know. He dosnt really seem that type.
  • Kirishima: what type?
  • Jirou: you know the gay type.
  • Kirishima: There are different types of gay? What type am I?
  • Jirou: You'er... OOHHH that actually makes a lot of sense.
  • Kirishima: What does?
  • Jirou: Im just gonna go away now.
  • ...
  • Kirishima: Yo Midoriya! You'er close with Bakugo right! Is he gay?
  • Deku: Kacchan?
  • Kirishima: Yeah! him!
  • Deku: well I went to elementary school with him and middle school and I dont think hes ever liked anybody, boy or girl, that I can think of.
  • Kirishima: Ever?
  • Deku: nope. why do you ask?
  • Kirishima: No reson!
  • Deku: Oh!... I am so sorry for you, Im sure you'll get over him soon, if you'er lucky.
  • Kirishima: Why do you say that?
  • Deku: No reason
  • ...
  • Kirishima: Kouda! you know Bakugo right? very angry very spiky? do you think he's gay? you know into other guys?
  • Kouda: ...
  • Kirishima: right thanks
  • ...
  • Kirishima: Todoroki! My man! Blasty McSplode gay? is he?
  • Shouto: Did that sentence make any sense to you, because it didn't to me.
  • Kiri: Bakugo. Is he gay?
  • Shouto: See that made much more sense. I don't know.
  • Kiri: Great.
  • ...
  • Ida: I don't approve of inter class relationships!
  • Kirishima: I just asked wether or not you knew if he was gay!
  • Ida: *disapproving look*
  • ...
  • Kiri: Hey Sero! you'er close to Bakugo right?
  • Sero: He once used me as a means of transportation. Is that what you meant?
  • Kiri: Did he seem gay to you?
  • Sero: out of every one part of that horse? no he was not the one setting off my gaydar. you were there to.
  • Kiri: true.
  • ...
  • Kirishima: hey Tsuyu!
  • Tsuyu: YES.
  • Kirishma: I didnt ask you anything yet.
  • Tsuyu: I dont care just yes.
  • Kirishima: Cool thanks.
  • ...
  • Kirishima: Excuse me Uraraka?
  • Uraraka: Yeah?
  • Kiri: You are one of the few people Bakugo possibly respects.
  • Uraraka: I am?
  • Kiri: Yes. Do you know if he's gay?
  • Uraraka: Do you want to ask him out?
  • Kiri: Why would you think that?
  • Uraraka: I can see the appeal, hes loud and strong and his abrasiveness is weirdly admirable, not to mention when hes not scowling hes not bad looking. I think you should go for it whether you think hes "gay" or not!
  • Kiri: ... Thanks Uraraka! To be clear you'er not interested right?
  • Uraraka: No. maybe if he wasn't an ass to my best friend, maybe if I didn't other have interests. *glances at Tsuyu*
  • Kiri: cool
  • ...
  • Kiri: Yo Momo! you'er VP is Bakugo gay?
  • Momo: *in a state of mental and emotional breakdown due to many things* YES HES GAY IM GAY YOUR GAY EVERYONE IN THIS DANMED CLASS IS GAY EXEPT FOR THAT GRAPE HEADED MOFO.
  • Kiri: Are you OK???!!!
  • MOmo: NO! im sorry.
  • ...
  • Tokoyami: Iv already heard. My answer is just go ask the guy himself, and possibly activate your hardaning before hand.
  • Kirishima: Great advice Birdman!
  • ...
  • Kirishima: Hey Shoji, you have great ears, have you possibly herd any clues to Bakugo's sexuality.
  • Shoji: ... Kirishima, if this is a very convoluted way of coming out to the class...
  • Shoji: Then ask him.
  • ...
  • Kaminari: So did you get any answers?
  • Kirishima: Nothing helpful.
  • Kaminari: I think the only person who's sexuality is now known by the entire class is you.
  • Kirishima: I dont care.
  • Kaminari: Actually the one person who isnt aware is probubly Bakugo.
“You are the Light of My Life” - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1983

Request:  Can I get a happy fluffy one for Bucky please? I think he deserves a happy ending. Maybe even one with angst because he/the reader thinks they’re cheating when they aren’t and it’s all cute/fluffy in the end? Thanks

Warnings: fluff, flirtation (lol), insecure reader, slight angst(?), HAPPY ENDING

Author’s Note: I struggle with writing for Bucky, even though I love him and seb very… very much. So, if y’all have any tips or something you think I can improve on, please let me know! Also, let me know if you like it! Feedback is appreciated :)

(also… no one should be able to be that good looking… wtf)


Keep reading

Take Your Time

Title: Take Your Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3171 

Warnings: Fluff (is this a warning?), drinking, , mentions of sex but no smut, maybe a swear?

A/N: This is my first Bucky piece and I haven’t written months so please let me know what you think. Also, this is based off of Sam Hunt’s song Take Your Time, which you can find here

 I don’t know if you were looking at me or not
You probably smile like that all the time
And I don’t mean to bother you but
I couldn’t just walk by and not say, “Hi”

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off of you from the moment you walked into the room. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed as he realised the breath-taking smile on your face wasn’t directed at him, but rather his friend next to him.

“Y/N!” Steve pulled you into a tight hug and pressed a kiss on your cheek. “You didn’t tell me you were back.”

“Thought I’d surprise everyone. Hey there, Birdman.” She gave Sam a cheeky smile and he simply laughed mockingly before pulling her into a hug as well. “Who’s your pretty friend, Stevie?” Her gaze turned to Bucky, who stilled as her eyes wandered up and down his frame before briefly landing on his metal arm.

Steve chuckled as he looked at his friend. “Buck, this is Y/N. Y/N, meet James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Hey there, soldier.” She sent him a smile unlike any other, and he swore his heart stopped in his chest.


Your eyes are so intimidating
My heart is pounding but it’s just a conversation
No, girl I’m not wasted
You don’t know me, I don’t know you but I want to

There was a small smirk playing on the corner of her mouth as she leant forward on the counter. The glass of whiskey danced precariously between her fingers as she stared down the super soldier, who couldn’t seem to form a sentence to save his life.

“Come on, soldier. You don’t really expect me to believe that?”

“I really haven’t,” he shook his head and allowed a small chuckle to escape.

“He speaks! You know, the game doesn’t work if you lie, Barnes.”

“I don’t know what Steve’s been telling you, doll, but I’ve never had a threesome,” he said honestly. She eyed him from across the kitchen counter where they were joined by Sam, Clint and Tony, looking for any sign that he was lying. He shifted on his feet as she continued to watch him, her gaze unwavering.

“What about you, kid?” Tony nudged her with a shit eating grin. “I mean, ‘never have I ever had a threesome’. The game doesn’t work if you lie (Y/L/N),” he mocked. She finally looked away from Bucky and threw her head back to laugh loudly and freely, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she finally looked back at the group.

“You caught me, Stark,” she took a sip of her drink. “I forgot you were at that party.”

“Woah, wait, wait, wait,” Clint looked down at the girl sat next to him, who seemed completely unabashed at the sudden revelation. “When did this happen?”

“England,” she shrugged casually. “About a year ago, maybe? Stark and I were at some conference with Nat.”

That’s the question you’re going with?” Sam interrupted. “You know what we’re all thinking, sweetheart. Girls or guys?” He took a sip of his beer and leant forward. Tony looked interested, and Bucky looked up as well, unwilling to admit how enticing he found the almost smile that graced her features. It was like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey.

“You really want to know, Wilson?” she leant on her elbows as lowered her voice considerably so that all the men had to move closer to hear her. “Let’s just say, even if one of us finished, we didn’t have to stop.” Bucky laughed at the expressions on the others faces, feeling accomplished as she shot him an appreciative grin over her shoulder as she walked away.

And I know it starts with “Hello”
And the next thing you know you’re trying to be nice
And some guy’s getting too close
Trying to pick you up, trying to get you drunk

She knew who he was when Steve introduced him all those weeks ago. Of course she knew. Even if she hadn’t seen the metal arm or read the file on him all the Avengers got when he joined the team. She had spent enough nights with Steve after his nightmares, just listening to everything he had to say about growing up in Brooklyn in the 40s. Obviously, more often than not, those stories involved a Mr James Buchanan Barnes. Why she chose to approach him, on the other hand, was a completely different question that she didn’t have the answer to. He was alone and looked like he needed company, so who was she to turn down that opportunity for him?

“Hey there, soldier.” He didn’t need to look over to see who had joined him. “What are you doing over here all on your own?”

“S’quiet,” he mumbled. Something about her threw him off guard. He’d only met her a few weeks ago, but he could tell she was unlike anyone he’d ever met. The fact that she didn’t seem to stare at his metal arm or cautiously edge away like everyone else did made him wary.

“Are man of few words, huh?” she chuckled and took a sip from the ever present bottle dangling between her fingers. He watched her from the corner of his eye, enraptured with the way she was able to drink steadily from the half empty bottle of whiskey without an issue. He didn’t realise he was staring until she raised her eyebrows at him and cleared her throat.


“Don’t worry about it, soldier.” If Steve could hear the thoughts running through his mind about her laugh, he would definitely tease him relentlessly. An almost uneasy silence feel around them. Or it felt uneasy to Bucky. With her head tipped back and her eyes closed as the wind blew through her hair, (Y/N) looked utterly relaxed and at peace. “I can leave you alone if you want.”

“N-no.” He cursed himself internally for stuttering. “I don’t mind you being here.”

“Yeah?” she tipped the bottle back and drank some more, highly aware that he was watching her. Wordlessly, she held the bottle out to him, offering him some. He hesitated, but took it nonetheless and tried not to focus on how warm her hands were as his fingers brushed against hers gently. “Well, I’m almost impressed.”

“Why?” He shot her a questioning look as he handed the bottle over.

“You almost manage your drink as well as I can. A little more practice and you’ll be able to play with the big kids.” He tried not to, but a laugh bubbled from his lips at her playful teasing. He looked down at her, silently pointing out how small she was next to him. “Watch it, Barnes. I may be the height of a twelve year old, but I’ve brought down guys bigger than you.”


“Really,” she nodded, and he was thankful that she breezed by his unbelieving tone. “None of them were as pretty as you, but they were definitely bigger.” He scoffed as she called him pretty once more, ignoring her narrowed eyes.

“What’s a gorgeous girl like you doing over here all by herself?” an agent sauntered over, an extra drink in his hand which he promptly held out to (Y/N).

“Agent Derrick.” Bucky could have sworn she rolled her eyes as she turned to face the agent. “I’m not alone.” She didn’t take the drink. “Bucky over here is being the perfect gentleman and keeping me company. Isn’t that right, soldier?”

“Sargent Barnes.” Derrick nodded at Bucky before looking back down at (Y/N). “Come join me instead.”

“Was that a demand or a request?” she raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms slowly, the bottle of whiskey still held loosely in her hand.

“Nothing wrong in asking. Come on, babe, come get a drink with me.”

Where the blade came from, Bucky would never know, especially considering the form hugging dress she was currently wearing. One minute Derrick was about to take a step forward to grab her hand, and the next minute a dagger was dug into the concrete wall right next to his head, centimetres away from his ear.

“Touch me, call me babe again, or even consider taking a step closer, and the next one goes through your eye. Understood?” she asked menacingly. Derrick simply choked out what sounded like a yes ma’am before all but running out of the room.

“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” Bucky let out a low whistle.

“Duly noted.” He would do anything to hear that laugh again.

You could’ve rolled your eyes
Told me to go to hell, could’ve walked away
But you’re still here, and I’m still here
Come on let’s see where it goes

“You want to try that again, Barnes?” your hands landed on your hips, silently taunting him with your smug expression. He looked up at her from his place on the training mat and ran his hands through his now undone hair. Laughs echoed around the room, and Sam made some mocking comment about how Bucky really should not have underestimated (Y/N).

“Come on, soldier. Let’s try that again. Maybe this time I’ll let you pin me down.” She smirked and hauled him up to his feet. “If you’re lucky, that is.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard, doll. Marcus managed it.” It was a low blow, he knew, to bring up a man you had slept with a few nights ago. No one had really said anything since the agent had proudly – and cockily – announced that you were just another notch on his bedpost. You had taken it in stride, not caring that he had told everyone about your sexual endeavours. It wasn’t like he had meant anything to you. However, that didn’t stop you from getting your own back. It had been all too easy to find willing females who had been scorned by him to help with your little project. Now, he couldn’t anywhere on base without someone picking on him for the hilarious lies you had spread about how he was in bed and what got him off.

The second Bucky said it he wanted to take the words back. He was relieved by the look in your eyes which meant you didn’t take his words to heart. And, more to the point, after witnessing your aim first hand, he was definitely grateful you didn’t have any sharp objects on hand.

“Cut the yapping, Barnes. If you spent as much time training as you did thinking of that poor excuse of a comeback then maybe you would have actually beat me by now.”

None the subtle jeers ran through the small crowd watching them, and even Steve joined in and laughed at his friends’ expense.

“Come on, Buck, concentrate!” he called out in a failed attempt of encouragement.

“Ready, soldier?”

“Bring it on, doll.”

I don’t wanna steal your freedom
I don’t wanna change your mind
I don’t have to make you love me
I just wanna take your time

“I know you did not just tell me that I can’t go on this mission.” You stood in front of him, arms crossed and a furious expression on your face.

“Doll, I just –”

“Don’t doll me when I’m mad at you!” you yelled. It was almost comical how fast he realised he had majorly messed up. You never said it to him, but he knew how much you adored the pet name he had given you. He had seen your failed attempts at a hidden reaction a few times whenever you were completely relaxed around him.

“(Y/N), please, I just –”

“Think I’m incompetent? That I can’t handle my own against a couple of soldiers? That I’m a shit assassin?”

“Ex-assassin,” He muttered dejectedly. He quickly realised his mistake and rose his arms in defence. With only pure luck and knowing you ridiculously well, he managed to duck right as a dagger went soaring over his head and smashed an expensive vase behind him. Not that Tony would say anything to you. No, the blame would more than likely fall onto Bucky himself. “Just hear me out!” he called out before you could throw another. With an arm poised in the air, you paused and gave him a murderous glare.

“You have exactly sixty seconds before I gut you like a fish.”

“Do you maybe want to lower your arm?”


“I’m sorry! Look, doll, I’m not saying you can’t on that mission. I’d never take away your right to do something. It’s your life. You go if you want to. I just suggested that you didn’t. There’s more than enough people going, the only benefit of you going is the mission would go a hell of a lot smoother with you because of how well you kick ass.” He was trying to kiss your ass at that moment, you both knew, but you kept on listening while you unconsciously lowered your arm.

“Thirty seconds.”

“I won’t change your mind, I’m just saying, wouldn’t it be a lot nicer to come back inside with me and join Wanda and Vision for a movie? We’re watching one of your favourites from that list you gave me. You’re still free to go if you want but…I don’t know, is it so bad that I just want you to stay?”

You stood and watched each other for a few minutes, the blade in your hand dangling between your fingers. Bucky kept a wary eye on it, knowing that with a simple flick of the wrist you could do some serious damage to his internal organs. You glared at him, your resolve weakening as you realised he was right. Steve had explained that everyone who was needed was already going, but offered for you to tag along if you really wanted. As fun as it sounded going into the middle of a below freezing country, watching a film with Bucky and your friends seemed better.

“Wheels up in five, (Y/N/N).” Steve stuck his head around the door. “You coming or staying?” He looked between your contemplative face and his best friends pleading one and bit back a smile, if only to stop you from throwing the dagger you held at his head.

“Staying.” You said finally. “I’m going to stay here with Bucky.”

I don’t wanna blow your phone up
I just wanna blow your mind
I don’t have to take your heart
I just wanna take your time

“I feel like we’ve gone in a complete circle,” Bucky laughed and sipped his drink. Tony was throwing another one of his extravagant parties, and as usual, him and (Y/N) were sat in a quiet corner and sharing a bottle of whiskey.

“Who would’ve thought we’d still be sitting here six months later?”

“It’s come close a few times, doll, I’m not gonna lie. With your constant need to annoy me I’m just as surprised as you are,” he chuckled.

“Don’t you mean with your constant need to piss the shit out of me?” you shot back. “Believe me, I’ve been held back from putting a fork through your eye my fair share of times.”

“Name one.”

“This morning at breakfast!” He dodged as you threw a cushion at his head. “You took my coffee, you asshole, and then you ran off laughing like a madman. The only reason I didn’t chase you down was because Steve and his stupid super soldier strength stopped me.”

“So you can beat me but not Steve?”

“Guess you’re losing your touch, soldier,” you teased lightly before leaning against his side. He slipped his metal arm around her, not thinking twice about it thanks to the alcohol running through his system. It wasn’t until she boldly held onto his fingers gently that he noticed what he had done. He tried to pull back, but she just held on a little tighter and sent him a look as if daring him to argue with her.


“Sh, I like this song.” She closed her eyes and titled her head back, immersing herself in the song that was currently playing. Bucky listened along carefully, recognising it as one he had heard her play a few times before. Carefully, he stood and pulled her to her feet, ignoring her curious gaze as he led her to the corner of the dance floor. There were barely any couples on it, but that didn’t stop him from wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

No, I ain’t gotta call you baby
And I ain’t gotta call you mine
I don’t have to take your heart
I just wanna take your time

When Steve and Tony caught his gaze, he knew they would never let him get away with dancing with her and singing along in her ear softly. But he didn’t care because it made you move in closer, your head resting on his shoulder gently.

“What?” he asked, noticing the look on your face.

“I normally hate being called baby by most guys,” you started slowly.


“I feel like I wouldn’t mind if you said it.”

“You’ve clearly had too much to drink.”

“Well that, my pretty friend, is a vicious lie. I thought we were having a real moment then.”

“I thought I was Steve’s pretty friend?”

“You’re mine now.”

“Yours, huh?” He tried, he really tried to keep the grin off his face, but hearing you call him yours, and so openly at that, set him off.

“I mean,” you continued as if he hadn’t spoken, a light blush on your cheeks that you really hoped he hadn’t seen. But of course, he had. “Saying you’re my pretty friend is a lot easier than saying you’re Steve’s.”

“Does that make you my pretty friend?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to be?” you asked innocently. Something shifted between both of you, and an unreadable expression crossed Bucky face as he chose his next words carefully.

“I don’t have to call you mine, but it sure would be a hell of a lot nicer than calling you Natasha or Wanda’s gorgeous friend.” You scoffed at the comparison and got ready to shoot back some sarcastic retort, but he quickly pressed his lips to yours to silence you.

“I don’t have to call you baby, because as much as you try to hide it I know how much you love being called doll. I’m not going to take your heart and treat you like those other random guys who talk too much. I just want to spend time with you. Get to know you more than I already do. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to call you mine, to steal your covers, to cross that line into something more, but I don’t know if you’re looking for something right now so I don’t want to come on too strong. What do you say, doll? Will you let me take your time?”

“I thought you’d never ask, soldier.”


Let me know if you want to be added or removed from this list. I kind of just tagged those of you who I thought would enjoy this.

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