heterosexual boys do not look at each other like that ok

my favourite headcanon is pureblood wizarding society being 110% okay with queerness. like, nobody talks about it or bothers to come out, because it’s just assumed you’re probably some shade of bisexual. the slytherin dorms don’t stop boys going into the girl’s rooms like in gryffindor because bruh, as if that’s going to do anything about the amount of sex anybody’s having. homophobia is just another reason why muggles suck.

my other favourite headcanon is draco’s giant ass crush on harry potter being the the longest-standing form of entertainment in the slytherin common room. drinking games (”take a shot every time malfoy mentions potter” “do I look like I want alcohol poisoning”). bets (“a galleon says malfoy’s up that tree so he can jump down dramatically when potter walks past” “no way, but I’ll bet the same he’ll mention his father while trying to flirt” “deal”). continued exasperation (“potter’s ass on that broom is going to cost us the quidditch cup. I don’t think malfoy’s even tried looking for the snitch yet.” “every fucking year this shit”).

my third favourite headcanon is a gay muggleborn from a loving-but-homophobic family walking in on this giant gay-loving mess. maybe they’re sorted into slytherin, maybe they just befriend the one slytherin who’s not a douchebag to muggleborns, but either way they end up spending time around them and their total lack of heterosexuality. girls publicly making out on the first day back after hols and everyone telling them they’re gross because merlin, we all know you saw her like two days ago, daphne. neverending ending jokes about potter’s dick and draco malfoy’s desire to sit on it. slytherins who don’t even like each other holding hands in the corridor when they go past homophobic muggleborns.

one day this poor muggleborn is hanging out with the slytherins and finally realises their sexuality is totally a-ok here, and they’re thrilled to the point where they interrupt the elaborate planning of a snape-centric shampoo intervention to blurt, I’M GAY. and the slytherins just look at them, totally unimpressed and kinda confused. one says, “yeah, and do you want a medal or something?” because they really don’t get how big a deal this is. another yells, “that reminds me! I heard parkinson fucked malfoy and guess whose name he moaned as he came” and everyone just simultaneously groans cos their quidditch chances against gryffindor are so fucked this year

anonymous asked:

i hope you don't mind this question. but I've always thought willow was bisexual but the writers just wouldn't acknowledge it, and that's why it's okay to ship woz. I've always thought this because of the way she was written.

i know where you’re coming from. i used to say that willow’s categorization as a lesbian was bi erasure, but i’ve changed my mind on that. while i think the writers’ motives for labeling willow a lesbian are rooted in biphobia, that doesn’t change the fact that she is canonically a lesbian (i’ll tell you how it’s canon: that’s how she identifies. regardless of her relationship with oz, her attraction to dracula, etc, her word is gospel. if she says she’s a lesbian, she is.)

i feel like this conversation is complicated because you have to acknowledge two different “realities:” the reality of the writers and the “reality” in which willow exists. i think it’s good to acknowledge the writers’ motives in their labeling of willow, and i’m gonna try to put myself in their shoes. i can kind of see the seams of their storytelling a little bit; the little inconsistencies in how they portray willow reveal a lot of biphobia and lesbophobia imo. i can’t remember where i heard this but there was a writer who alluded to the fact that, when they first wrote about tara and willow getting together, they didn’t intend to label her as gay or permanently nix boys from her dating scene. the writer then went on to say that after the huge positive fan reaction the writers thought something along the lines of “we can’t go back now.” and by “going back” they seemed to mean willow dating boys (biphobic much? as if bisexual identity is less valid when people of different genders are together). this would suggest that, as originally conceived, willow was supposed to be bi. but given whedon’s beef with bi people (he doesn’t seem to think they exist) i’m willing to bet the dreaded b-word would never have been uttered. when i look at the vagueness of willow’s coming out to buffy in “new moon rising” (no labels are used) and willow’s goodbye to oz where she suggests they’ll find each other again when they’re older, i don’t think the writers meant to portray her as a lesbian originally.

although the writers settled on the lesbian identifier for willow after she got together with tara, they seem to want to have their cake and eat it too. of course they would never consider labeling her bi because, bah! bisexuality isn’t a thing!!!! bisexuals r not gay enuf 2 b on our show, we wanna make a P OL I T I C AL statement ok!!!!!! at the same time though, they choose to slip in these little references to willow’s attraction to men even though she’s obvs a lesbian. (her attraction to dracula in “dracula,” her attraction to giles in “where the wild things are” and her attraction to what’s-his-face in “him” all come to mind). it’s like they’re winking at the audience, going “she’s not reaaaaallllyyyyy gay.” see how they manage to be both biphobic and lesbophobic at the same time, by treating bisexuality as ~not gay enough~ (given what the writer said in the interview i saw) and also invalidating her gay identity with all these random attractions to dudes, played for laughs?

ok, so that’s one level. let’s now talk about willow’s identity from an in-universe perspective. this is where it’s gonna become clear why i’m so hard-headed about willow definitely being a lesbian, no ifs, ands, or buts.

we can talk all day about the writers’ biphobia and lesbophobia, their motives for choosing to label willow a lesbian, and their need to invalidate her identity regardless of label. it’s important to acknowledge all those things and recognize that these writers are flawed and therefore their conception of anything non-het and their treatment of anything non-het will be flawed.

but if we take away all this conversation about the writers, and focus on willow herself, it becomes incredibly important to support her lesbian identity and to not question it. i’ve seen plenty of people point to willow’s attractions to men as “proof” that she’s “really bi” and i’ve even been one of the people to do that in the past, but in reality that’s extremely hurtful to lesbians. taking everything willow says about her identity to heart, she is representative of a huge part of the lesbian community in that 1) she had a long term relationship with a man 2) she seems to struggle with compulsory heterosexuality 3) she conceptualizes her identity as changeable.

1) after willow identifies as gay we don’t hear much from her on whether or not she thinks her relationship with oz was “valid,” but regardless of what she might say, her past relationships with men don’t make her any less of a lesbian. her past relationship with oz doesn’t make her “really bi” because she identifies as gay, and that’s all we should need to let the subject drop. we need to trust that willow knows herself better than we do.

2) from an in-universe perspective, i definitely attribute willow’s occasional attractions to men to compulsory heterosexuality. she grew up being taught to see men in a certain way, and to perform heterosexuality. all that conditioning doesn’t necessarily disappear when you come out.

3) willow makes with the quippy “gay now!” line a few times after coming out. this has bothered a lot of people, understandably, because it’s a common misconception among straights that people turn gay or become gay. but willow’s assertion that she’s “gay now” tells us a little bit about her perspective. she may phrase it that way because she believes she was once bi or once straight, but is no longer. she may feel because of her past relationship with oz that she has no right to claim she was gay back then. either way i think the phrasing is rooted in uncertainty about her past identity, and while i know that’s frustrating, it doesn’t make her any less gay. it doesn’t make her less of a lesbian to suggest that in the past she may not have been one. people change, and evolution shouldn’t invalidate identity.

all of the above three points are things that a lot of real-life lesbians identify with and struggle with. i’m a lesbian and i can say that all three of the things i just listed apply not only to willow, but to me as well. i want to emphasize that willow is, of course, a very important character to the lesbian community and a lot of lesbians identify with her. it’s precisely because of willow’s identity and because of her popularity with lesbians that it is extremely hurtful to suggest she is bi, especially if you use any of the above three points to support your argument.

using willow’s vulnerabilities and inconsistencies to invalidate her identity from an in-universe perspective is hurtful because it suggests to all lesbians who deal with the same issues that they are equally invalid, pretenders, or “really bi.” it may not be obvious to you, but people often use real-life lesbians’ inconsistencies to invalidate their identity by saying “well you once dated a guy!” or “so you used to be bi… and now you’re… not? BUT YOU DATED A GUY” or “omg ahhaha you just said that guy was attractive….. u sure ur gay?”

also, just on a broader level, it’s very common in our culture to invalidate lesbian identity and experience. so suggesting that a lesbian icon (c’mon, that’s not a stretch is it?) is not in fact a lesbian takes away from the little representation we lesbians have. it’s also just another way of invalidating lesbians’ feelings and identities in a culture where lesbians are never believed to ~really~ be lesbians in the first place.

i hope this helps, because i turned this into meta and i didn’t mean to!

It’s 2010 bitch!!!

written also with @spacetaemin, @5hineesback, @choitaemins and @sabakunocasali  (and probably many others)

“Minho shoot the ball” yelled super jock Kim Jonghyun as he ran down the footballl field. Minho, baseball in hand, hit the soccer ball so hard it become a touchdown. Everyone in the audience cheered but especially Taemin, long haired bb child innocent my son,,,doesn’t know a damn thing about anything. Evry1 thinks hes a girl but rly hes just feminine and cute and clueless!

Sitting next to Taemin was his best-friend-but-also-pseudo-mother, Kim Kibum, better known as “Key Umma.”

“I did it I got a homerun!!!” Choi Minho, the coolest jock in school, yelled as he ran on the track. He locked eyes w/ his super beautiful girlfriend, Yuri. She was so hot and he wsa really heterosexual and straight. Nothing would ever change that!!!!

Keep reading

Tu Es Beau

This is a fanfiction inspired by a headcanon I sent to @writergrump, which morphed into a full thing. This is the first time I’ve ever written a fanfiction, so if you have anything you want to point out to help me in the future, feel free to message me! It has a really rushed ending I guess, but I tried.
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Dan’s eyes glossed over the screen of the television. They had just finished recording more episodes than usual, given the fact that they would both be gone for a month for a well needed vacation. Dan turned to his friend, who was rubbing his eyes as he turned off the capture and microphones.

They’d known each other for a very long time now. Dan knew that he had feelings for the other man that were…not the way normal friends thought of each other. He realized this a few months ago, freaked out, and poured his heart out to Brian, who was more than happy to listen. He talked it out with Suzy, who even encouraged it. But he was terrified of confessing. He didn’t know how it even happened-maybe the flirting got to him? All he knew was that everytime he thought of his co-host, he thought of that beautiful body, his amazing face and wonderful personality. Lately it felt like all he could do during sessions was stare at Arin and take every single drop of him in, staring at his lips, resisting the urge to lean in and kids him with all his might-

“You okay there, buddy?” Arin lifted up an eyebrow and looked at Dan, his voice concerned but laced with amusement.

“I’m fine,” he replied, giving him a lopsided smile. “Just tired. These sessions have been really exhausting me lately.”

“Well, our vacation is coming up, so you have that to look forward to.” Arin stood up and stretched, his shirt lifting up barely enough to see his stomach. Dan gazed at him lovingly.

“Tu es beau.”

“What?”

Dan blinked. What did he just say? Why did he say it in French? Did he just call Arin beautiful….infront of the man himself? What was wrong with him?

“I…what? I’m sorry, I wasn’t-it’s nothing.” Dan put on a convincing smile.

Arin shot Dan a look. “Alright, ‘Mr. French, ’ let’s wrap things up.” Dan’s face heated at the nickname.

….

Day lay on top of the bed, hands pressing hard on his eyes. He was so stupid, as if he could be more subtle about his gigantic crush on his best friend. At least Arin couldn’t understand him. He really needed to work on not saying shit out loud.

….

They were taking a lunch break, sitting down at the table across from each other. Arin, noticing Dan hadn’t said anything in the past half hour, looked up, staring at Dan. He was in dreamland, looking down at the table, smiling sheepishly, supposedly at nothing.

“Dan?” He called. Dan’s smile disappeared and he looked up.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

Arin continued staring. He could swear he saw a red tint appear on Dan’s face, but he quickly looked back down.

“I’m…worried. About you,” he started, choosing his words carefully. Dan was the type to insist he was fine on the worst days, the type that didn’t want anyone making any fuss about him.

“What about me?” Dan looked back up, his curls bouncing at the quick movement, chewing on his sandwhich.

“I don’t know, dude. You’ve been spacing out a lot, is all. Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Well…” Dan started, his mind screaming in protest. “It’s just that…I can’t explain it,” he lied. “Or, I, erm, rather not talk about it, I mean.” Whew. Close one. His brain-to-mouth filter almost stopped working there.

“Okay. Now I’m worried even more.” Arin reached his hand across the small table, danced his fingers up Dan’s hand, and laced their fingers together. Dan searched Arin’s eyes-pure worry.

“I’m just extremely exhausted, dude. I seriously can’t think straight.” That was certainly true (of course he can’t think straight).

“I’m working you too hard,” Arin frowned, still holding Dan’s hand. He stood up, pulled Dan’s arm. Dan started to protest as Arin walked him over to the couch, sitting down, gesturing for Dan to do the same.

“Come on. You need to rest, dude.” Arin say sideways, legs spread, and pulled Dan down, to where he was in the middle of Arin’s lap. He grabbed his shoulders, pulling them down, so Dan’s back was on his chest. He snaked an arm around his waist.
“You’re my snuggleman, and I want to snuggle anyways, so you have to cuddle with me.” Dan looked up, his face flushed, and gave a weak smile.
It wasn’t until 20 minutes later, when Arin assumed Dan was asleep, that he heard mumbling. He looked down, saw Dan’s mouth moving. He could barely make out what he was saying.

“Je pense toujours à toi…tu me rends heureux.”

He must be dreaming, Arin thought to himself. Dan didn’t seem that he was aware he was even talking right now. Poor guy. Either that, or he was just extremely delusional, given the fact he was mumbling things in French. God damn, Dan was adorable. Everything he did made Arin love him more.

“Arin.” His thoughts were interrupted, his eyes gazing down. Dan looked up and met his eyes. He broke into a smile. He was obviously still very tired. It seemed like he didn’t even know what he was saying.

“Je veux être avec toi.”

“I, uh, can’t really understand you, buddy.”

Dan’s eyes widened and he froze. He turned completely around and slowly brought his hands up to Arin’s chest, and lifted himself up.

“I feel really sick, Arin. Can I go home?” He asked as he sat up. Arin’s brows knitted together.

“Dan?”

“I have to go, Arin. I’m sorry. We’ll get a head start on tomorrow’s session, I promise. Shit. I’m sorry,” he stuttered. As Dan collected his things and left, all arin could think about was that phrase.

….

“Jeh…voo..eh..treh..aveh..twah?” Arin spoke into the microphone. Dammit. He was sure he was missing a word or two. While the search results loaded, Arin thought about what made Dan suddenly tense. He looked back at his phone screen, and he could swear his heart stopped beating for a good ten seconds.

‘Translating: Identified language: French to: English. I want to be with you.

He swallowed. Dan didn’t mean that, right? He scrolled down, looking for another result. That couldn’t be it-Dan was mister heterosexual, the man who used to constantly remind everyone that he was straight. Arin stopped and his fingers rested on a website: '10 Loving Phrases In French.’

He clicked. He swiped down, and as he read the  phrases, he swore he’d heard them before. His eyes stopped on one.

'Tu es beau (masc.)- you are beautiful.’ He remembered.

….

Dan walked into the office the next day, his mind set on not having the conversation about why he left so suddenly yesterday. He approached Arin’s desk, and told him he would be waiting in the recording room. Arin grabbed ahold of his hand, and stood up.

“Anata to issho ni itai desu.” He stuttered, his face turning red. Dan gaped, what was he saying? Arin looked up, and a smirk appeared on his face.

“I-I turned the tables on you. Can you guess what that means, lover boy?”

Dan, realizing what Arin had said, practically melted into his arms. He wrapped his arms around his waist and burrowed his face into his neck.

“How long?” Arin asked, bringing his hands up to Dan’s hair.

“Months, Arin. God, so many months,” came a muffled response.

“Well, you could’ve just told me! I had to search frantically all over the internet just to get a clue of what you were talking about!” Arin chuckled.

“I was scared. I’m sorry.” Dan lifted his head.

“Well, I’m here now, so no need to be scared.” Arin cupped his cheek and leaned in, pausing and asking “is this okay?”

“This is more than okay, mon amour.” Dan said, gasping as their lips met. When they parted, they returned to their previous position, cuddling each other while standing in the middle of the office.

From that day on, they would always whisper sweet nothings in their second familiar language. When they were in bed together, chests bare, Dan tracing his name on Arin’s stomach, he would praise Arin and tell him how beautiful he was and how happy he made him in French. Arin always comforted Dan and would tell him that everything was going to be ok (in Japanese) on the worst days.

 Four years later, after a dinner at a high-end restaurant, Dan dropped on one knee, and asked the question he thought, never in a million years, he would never be able to ask.

“Veux-tu m'épouser?”

Arin nodded frantically, practically shrieking “Yes! Yes!” as tears spilled. They kissed and held each other.

Arin was caught up in the moment, but he could swear he heard Dan whisper that amazing phrase that started it all.

“Tu es beau.”

“You are beautiful.”

TVD 2x01 Review

1. How fitting to review 2x01 today with all of the Bonnie/Katherine discussion happening on my blog.

2. Also, this is totally unrelated but AMC has been marathoning Jurassic Park for like the past how many hours and I have it on mute right now while I do this review and can someone tell me why in the first Jurassic Park, the little blonde girl gets the flashlight and turns it on and attracts that dinosaur to the car? Like I never got it and it FRUSTRATES me. So am I missing something? OK back on point.

3. John doesn’t seem to be in too much pain considering his fingers are cut off.

4. I like how when Stefan comes to the Gilbert house and runs up the stairs to examine Jeremy, he and Elena cling to each other briefly. Details, man.

5. So I’m not a vampire? Dammit.” “Jeremy, don’t say that. Why would you want that?” “Did you hear about Anna? What happened to her tonight? She’s dead.” Likkle boy, your logic is ridiculous.I don’t know if it’s Steve’s acting or the writing is just being lazy with it but if the whole allure of vampirism for Jeremy is that he can shut off his emotions then I need to see him overwhelmed with emotions all the time, like he essentially needs to be an empath and not the supernatural kind but the kind of people who are highly sensitive to their own emotions and to the emotions of people around them and he just wants it to stop. OR the show has to emphasize that Jeremy is a, what, fifteen year old kid and his logic is of a fifteen year old kid.

6. Also I really love how agitated Stefan is but also very precise with Jeremy lile LISTEN TO ME, YOU WILL DIE IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, DO YOU HEAR ME? And he gives him a little smack like YO ARE YOU LISTENING THO? which isn’t the same thing as Damon threatening to make him unconscious and grabbing his arm since this was like PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT AND I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR ANGSTY SHIT BECAUSE YOUR ANGSTY SHIT WILL KILL YOU. I find it very paternal. Especially since Stefan softens when Jeremy looks him in the eye and says he understands.

7. Damon figuring out that Katherine is back is SOOOO funny though because he is SO trash, like no honey, you weren’t kissing Elena, sorry.

8. I would’ve preferred if he slammed Katherine against the wall so hard that it cracked, they ARE vampires and Stefan is handy he couldve fixed it later. Details, man.

9. I like how Damon spent this time being all Katherine is omniscient, if she wants you dead there’s nothing you can do about it, we won’t figure out her plan oh but I can TOTALLY stake her.

10. Yes, Carol and Liz casually walk around the house talking about vampires and murder like there aren’t other people around. This is a mansion, there should be like 30 rooms you can go to to talk.

11. It’s cute how Stefan anticipates Elena’s needs, he threatens John because he knows she doesn’t want him in her life and she knows he threatened John to leave because she knows he can anticipate what she needs. Also their hug outside of the hospital is one of my favourites because she just needs to be comfortaed and hugging Stefan does that for her.

12. Ian needs to chill with the eyebrows for real.

13. Damon underestimated Grams and she was like boy please. Damon underestimates Bonnie and she’s like lol you tried. Why exactly is Damon so overly confident when he’s always proven wrong? DErs: It’s a defense mechanism to hide from his insecurity. Me: He needs a new one. Or get his shit together.

14. LOL the music surrounding Katherine makes me laugh because it’s so dramatic. Damon made his entrance killing like 5 people. Isobel had randoms walking in front of cars and forced a gay rodeo cowboy to have heterosexual sex. Katherine is just being trifling right now.

15. I always liked this Steferine scene in the Lockwood Mansion because Stefan is SO done, like he is just so over Katherine and her bullshit and he treats it like her bullshit instead of making it this OMG SHE’S DIABOLICAL and Nina and Paul play off each other really well so there’s also this tension but she is SO trifling and Stefan is just like omg I fucking HATE you

16. I also like that Katherine is the only one actually thirsty for Matt?

17. I also like the piano rendition of Breakeven.

18. “Why would you be surprised that I kissed you?” “That’s not a surprise, I’ surprised you thought I’d kiss you back” classic.

19. WHEN DOES JEREMY CUT HIS HAIR.

20. The alarm on his face as he drinks from the flask and Mason comes in is priceless though, one of the few actual teenage moments of TVD

21. Stefan legit has some pretty crazy exes though. Katherine stabs him because he said he hated her, Rebekah is Rebekah and Valerie made Caroline burn at his touch, like lmao, women fall DEEP for him man, Elena stormed into the cabin of a powerful old-ass witch? Lol.

22.Also find it super cute that Elena tends to his wound.

23. I like how Damon is like OOH LET’S FIGHT and Stefan is like I just got stabbed, I’m tired. Grow up, Damon.

24. Stefan’s speech to Damon about how he’s not going to let Katherine destroy the part of him finally willing to feel is mature and all but I need the show to stop acting like Damon didn’t feel before Elena because the problem has always been that Damon can’t control his fucking emotions and that leads to him killing people or hurting people. He spent 145 years loving one woman, clearly he felt. He slaughtered a house full of women in the 90s because Stefan said he kept failing and he was upset. He turned Vicki because he was sad. It’s Stefan who was willing to feel when he met Elena. Like they mixed up their own narrative. And it’s not like anyone can say that Damon developed a healthy love for Elena and that’s why it’s different than his obsession with Katherine because he didn’t! Same shit.

25. No idea why Katherine and Damon’s bickering suddenly reminds me of siblings, I think because I find them so petty with each other.

26. I really like Katherine’s bra though, I always like her lingerie, I’ll give her that. 

26. I love the way Katherine is looking at Damon now like, yo I just came for some D and now you wanna talk about feelings?

27. “There is something going on between us and you know it” can we appreciate the fact that Elena actually looks alarmed, like not even like he’s hitting a nerve, she’s looking at him like WHAT are you talking about?

28. I remember the first time I watched this I was like oh Damon that sucks, both women have been like “It’s always Stefan” in the same night basically one after the other, that’s rough, you’re an ass though and then he killed Jeremy and I said SEE YOU’RE AN ASS THOUGH. Then I watched it again and like, Original Katherine said it was always Stefan so you go to the woman you’ve transplanted your obsession onto and try to force yourself on her and she says it’s always Stefan so you enact violence on her by killing her brother.Stay classy.

29. The whole exchange between Stefan and Elena about Damon’s motivations still piss me off, it doesn’t matter, he killed her brother because he was upset, like that dialogue should’ve been used to ask questions about Jeremy and Elena being like so how does it work again, what did Isobel say? Do you think he’s going to be OK? Why hasn’t he woke up already?

30. Still super cute that Stefan kisses Elena’s shoulder.

31. The first actual stake-raising thing Katherine has done. (Killing Caroline).

Thanks for reading!

What is it about Shun’s straightness that people are so obsessed about? When you google Andromeda Shun you find a thousand posts about how he is definitely not a homosexual. And I just want to ask, would that somehow give him less credit as a Saint?

I mean people say things like “The fact that he has feminine figure doesn’t mean he is gay”
“June had feelings for him you know”
“He was a really strong Saint”
“The Libra Temple scene was not like that in the manga, he was only making an act of *FRIENDSHIP* by sacrificing himself for Hyoga!”

I can agree with the first one, but the rest?
1. Does June decide his sexuality for him? That fact that she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he reciprocates (It’s quite clear both in the anime and manga that he sees her as a regular friend, seeing as he doesn’t have dramatic flashbacks with her as Ikki did with Esmeralda or exchange meaningful glances with her like he so often does with Hyoga)

2. No shit Sherlock. I’m 1000% sure strong doesn’t equal heterosexual.

3. Ok, this one is truly open for interpretation. You can’t simply say that this scene confirms his gayness, but you can’t brush it off with ~*The Power of Friendship*~ either.

You can’t deny the fact that he almost kissed Hyoga, and I don’t think there was a need to snuggle up to him in other to give him his cosmo. That this was something Toei did? Yes, but I never saw Kurumada complaining about it or removing it from canon.

Now, those facts could actually be overlooked as simply being part of Shun’s gentle nature, if it wasn’t for how close Hyoga and Shun are right from the start. In all honesty, if we talk about Shun’s possible love interests, Hyoga is really the most logical option. What about June, you say? Well, before her first and only apparence, Shun had never mentioned her even once, and after that single episode we never heard of her again. She was not even a planned character, the only reason she exists is because Kurumada promised to do a character for the June magazine.

Hyoga, however, is always protecting Shun when Ikki doesn’t feel like it and he constantly calls out to him. They are usually glued to each others side (and I have screenshots to prove it) and they make a pretty powerful duo. I don’t know if you have noticed, but whenever Ikki is around, they are suddenly five feet away from each other at all times; then when Ikki leaves they are inseparable once again.

I don’t know if they were like this in the manga or if Kurumada/Toei realized what they were doing, but when you look back, the idea that Shun would sacrifice himself for the person he loves (ROMANTICALLY) is not such a foreign concept anymore.

On a final note, if he does have feelings for Hyoga, that doesn’t automatically mean he is gay. He could also he bisexual, pansexual, ‘90% straight’ or not even a cis boy at all.

attababyeatsomepeaches  asked:

Mythological Mondays \o/ yes please. One of my favourites is Orpheus & Eurydice, I'd love a retelling of that.

OK here goes, the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, as told by me at 21:46 after three rock cakes and way too little caffeine. If you want to skip an awful retelling of a story about a man who plays John Mayer in Hell, then press J on your keyboard now as this is quite a long post! There’s some salient historical / literary information under the Read More, if you’re so inclined. 

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Once upon a time, in a land far far away (Greece. It was Greece) there lived a man named Orpheus. Orpheus was basically Ancient Greece’s answer to John Mayer, only with a moral compass that didn’t just point South. He had a reputation for being able to charm anything – literally anything, living or non-sentient – with nothing but the gift of song. Basically, he was the kind of guy who wandered around and serenaded boulders with Mumford & Sons’ collected hits. If he were alive today, he’d be That Guy who shows up to Youtube gatherings with a ukulele.

I can’t exaggerate this guy’s musical ability. This one time, he played his lyre so beautifully and loudly that it drowned out a bunch of Sirens (the kind with heaving bosoms and razor sharp teeth, not the ones you hear when someone’s cat is stuck up a tree) and saved the lives of his fellow manly sailors. Imagine that you’re at a Beyonce concert, having paid over $500 for the privilege, and you’re just getting into Single Ladies when John Mayer shows up and starts singing so loudly that Beyonce just leaves the stage, and you don’t even mind because John Mayer is singing something about loving you unlike any other and it’s just getting right to the core of your being, man. That’s basically what happened.

Anyway, Orpheus has this hot wife, Eurydice. Like literally every woman in Greek mythology, she is renowned for her beauty. You’d think that, seeing as every Greek myth starts with ‘token woman, renowned for her beauty’, people would make less of a fuss of this kind of thing, but no. Apparently not. Anyway, at the point at which this stories starts, they’ve been married for like an hour, and they’re enjoying wedded bliss, probably because Orpheus hasn’t had a chance to make any kitchen jokes yet and Eurydice hasn’t told him her view on attachment parenting. They’re still newlyweds, and they’re fucking revelling in the delights of holy matrimony, if you catch my drift. After a while, Eurydice, probably saying something like ‘come on, Orpheus, I need to have some space if this marriage is going to work’ goes for a little wander, and makes the fatal mistake of walking in some dangerously long grass, leaving Orpheus to play some solo music.

While Orpheus is lying back, strumming some sweet notes on his lyre, he suddenly hears a scream. He runs to find Eurydice, but by the time he gets there, she’s already dead, having been bitten by a viper. Not surprisingly, Orpheus is a bit upset by this, seeing as he’s only been married to her for a few hours and he hasn’t even had the chance to finish explaining all the ways in which her rights as a woman are about to fade from significance now that she belongs to a man. In a fit of grief and sorrow, Orpheus pulls out his lyre (like seriously, this thing is practically surgically attached to him; I’m starting to think it’s just a euphemism at this point) and starts playing a mournful melody. Probably that one from Titanic, you know, the one when the ship’s going down.

After a few hours, he feels a tap on his manly shoulder, and turns around to see a nymph. She’s all “dude, you’re like really talented, do you have an EP?” and Orpheus is like “look, I’m flattered and everything, but my wife has literally just died. You see the body of that woman there? That’s the corpse of my wife, and if you don’t mind, I’d really like to get back to singing haunting ballads about the finite nature of our corporeal existence. I was just about to get onto Tubthumping” and he turns away. The nymph has a little think, then taps him on the shoulder again and says “no, but really, you’re incredible. I mean, I still think you should look into Youtube’s Partnership programme, but in the meantime, have you considered going to Hades and playing him one of your original songs? Maybe he’d let you have your hot wife back” and Orpheus just does one of his (probably) trademark crooked grins, the kind of smile that’s genetically evolved to appear on debut EPs with titles like ‘For You, I’d Go To Hell And Back (Baby)’ and he says “that is literally the best idea I have ever heard, nothing at all can go wrong with this” and the nymph says “I’m glad you like my idea, can you sign my shirt” and Orpheus is like “nope, this guy has underworlds to visit, or at least one” and off he goes.

(And a nearby boulder just sighs and says to the nymph “I was listening to that, do you mind?” and the nymph goes home and writes self-insert fanfiction)

Orpheus eventually reaches the underworld, where he meets Hades and his predictably hot wife, Persephone. Hades is all “dude, I don’t want to freak you out here, but are you aware that you’re not actually dead?” and Orpheus is like “I am completely aware of that fact, but thank you for the clarification, now tell me – what do you think of Bastille?” and then proceeds to play an absolutely stonking rendition of literally everything in the iTunes top 40.

When Orpheus is finished, Hades wipes away a tear and says “I was particularly impressed with the way you managed to turn Katy Perry’s ‘Dark Horse’ into a mournful eulogy” and Orpheus is like “yeah, I’m really sad right now” and Hades is like “I bet that’s really good for your artist’s soul” and Orpheus nods and says “yeah, it is actually surprisingly conducive to creativity, but also my wife is dead and I know she’s here and I’d really like her back if that’s at all possible, Mr Hades, sir” and Hades just shakes his head sadly and says “I have a reputation to maintain, you know. I can’t just let everyone swan out of here when they’ve expired, or I’d have millions of people trying to extend their best before dates, you dig?” and Orpheus is like “yeah, man, I dig, but tell me this – have you heard ‘Hallelujah’ by Jeff Buckley?” and before Hades can protest, Orpheus has started playing the most hauntingly beautiful and tragic song that anyone has ever played, and Hades can feel his dark resolve crumbling away into dust, like the dried remnants of life itself when it reaches the looming doors of his lair, and eventually Hades just cries “stop, please, I’m getting the urge to write poetry about my feelings” and Orpheus stops and so does Hades, and they both just look at each other for a moment.

Then, Persephone is like “look, boys, before this turns into a scene that will probably ruin both your reputations forever, why don’t we agree on a compromise? We can let Orpheus have his hot wife back, but we can implement some sort of condition. Something that’s literally impossible for him to fail, but will at least make it look like you’re not a total pushover. Are we agreed?” and Hades nods gleefully and says “that’s perfect, I knew I kept you here for a reason apart from your flawless cheekbones and the fact that it pisses your mother off no end. Here’s what we’ll do, Orpheus – you can walk out of here right now, and Eurydice will follow, but there’s a catch. You can’t turn around while you’re walking out. Like, at all. Not until the both of you are out of here. That’s very important. You both need to be out of the underworld. The two of you. Each one of you. Not just you, and not just her. The two of you. Les deux. And y’know, that shouldn’t be too hard. It’s literally that easy. Walk out of here and keep facing forwards. I think that should be doable, don’t you?” and Orpheus is like “no shit, Sherlock, I do that every day” and they shake hands and Orpheus makes his way out and Hades just calls out “I really mean it about the turning around thing; if you turn to look at her, she’ll be stuck here forever” and Orpheus just waves his hand, all callused from the lyre, and says “I think I can manage, bro” and walks out.

(And then Hades cries into Persephone’s shoulder for six hours and she has to make him six mugs of hot chocolate and tell him that his blue pallor is very handsome, and yes, of course it’s OK to be in touch with your feelings as a heterosexual male)

As Orpheus is on his way out, he can hear footsteps behind him, and he’s about to turn around when he remembers Hades’ warning. He just shakes his head and thinks to himself ‘nah, not falling for that one!’ and he keeps going, presumably playing the Victory March on his lyre the entire time.

The closer he gets to the surface world, the more anxious he becomes. He starts to wonder things like ‘what if it’s a lie and Eurydice is some sort of night-time creature who can’t survive outside of the underworld and sparkles in the sun’ and ‘what if the footsteps behind me aren’t Eurydice at all, but some other dead guy called Jeff’ and even ‘I’m starting to get cramp in my left hand from the sweet chords’, but instead of doing the sensible thing and just calling out to see who’s behind him, he waits, walking more quickly to just get out of the sunless void of the underworld, and then there’s two steps to go, and then one last victorious note on the lyre and then he’s out.

As soon as he takes his first step on surface soil, Orpheus turns around and looks back at the tunnel he’s just emerged from, and to his relief, he sees Eurydice, about four steps behind him –

- with about four steps to go until she is on the same surface soil as him, her face still shrouded in the deathly evanescence of the unliving, and with one last scream of ceaseless finity, she’s gone, still four steps behind and so many more now, and Orpheus drops his lyre onto the grass and sinks to his knees and says “well, I fucked that up royally, didn’t I?”

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Straight White Boy’s Guide to Talking to Girls

I’m aware that I am probably being over-generous, but I am going to pretend for a moment that many of the boys featured on straightwhiteboystexting are unaware of how to talk to women, rather than purposefully harassing them. I am creating this to be a helpful guide to anyone out there who is prone to saying stupid things, the likes of which can be found on that blog.

Part 1: Pickup Lines
Don’t. Just don’t. Yes, there are some women who will find an exceptionally cheesy/clever pickup line to be adorkable, but most people can’t pull it off. 

Unfortunately, Hollywood and tv have taught us that unless you deliver a breathtakingly suave introduction, you’re doomed from the start. This is not true. The best conversation-starters are the simplest ones. The general rule is to pick from whatever information you have (her appearance, profile information, location) and start a conversation there like a normal human being. The only change is to make it slightly more positive - build in some nice, non-creepy compliments - NOT “I want to put my face in your boobs,” but “You have gorgeous eyes.” Here’s a few examples.

Online:
- “Hey, you look really nice in your picture.”
- “Hi, I’m X. Your profile said you’re from X. Me too!/What’s it like there?”
- A comment on something strange going on in the profile picture, like “Whoah, that’s quite a cannonball you’re doing in your profile pic! Did it hurt when you landed?”
- “Hey, I’m X. Do you go by *stated name* or *common nickname for stated name*?”

In person:
- “Hey, you look really gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink?”
- “Wild party, huh? Hi, I’m X. What’s your name?”
- “Hey. Do you wanna go dance?” (if she says no) “Alright. Hi, I’m X. If I can’t entice you to dance, can I at least get you a drink?”
- “Hi, nice chucks/cool scarf.” If this makes you uncomfortable, 1) You will not stop being heterosexual if you admire an article of clothing, I promise. 2) You can add a line like, “I’ve been looking for something like that to give to my roommate/mother/sister/aunt/friend for her birthday. Where’d you get it?”

Part 2: Continuing the Conversation
1. Pay attention. She’s going to bring up other stuff. Talk about that! Did she mention that she didn’t like the music? Compare some musical tastes! Ask if she’s heard X album! Did she say she’s there with a friend? Ask how they know each other! Did she say the whiskey was good here? Start talking about the different bars in the area, and what they serve that’s good!

2. Her brain is not the doorman to her vagina. Maybe you won’t get laid with this girl. Now, I want you to think back on how much of your life you’ve spent not getting laid, and see how that turned out. Not dead yet? Still functioning? Great! Furthermore, being in the friendzone is a really good thing. That means you have a new friend! Plus, friends often set up other friends with single people they know. If she says upfront that she’s not interested, here is your response: “Ok. Sorry if I bothered you. You don’t happen to know anyone here who’s looking to meet someone, do you?”

If she says no, then say, “Ok, nice talking to you” and head on out. Nobody has to be belittled, slut-shamed, or creeped out.

3. If the conversation stalls, here’s a few restarters, mixed for both in-person and online.
- “What’s something you’re looking forward to this month?”
- “Have you had the food here yet? Do you like it?”
- “What’s the most recent movie you watched/book you read/video game you played?”
- “Have you seen [popular movie that’s currently out] yet?”
- “What do you do for fun?”
- “You have really pretty eyes, you know.”
- “Do you wanna dance?”
- “Where did you grow up?”
- “God, the new emojis are so weird. I mean, look at this one - [posts strange emoji]”

3. Follow her lead. I know the prevailing theme here is “Don’t bring up sexual stuff”, but if she does, feel free to talk dirty back. Has she stated she doesn’t want to dance? Don’t ask her to dance again. Is she touching your hands? You can probably touch her arms too.

Please remember that any woman you talk to is going to be on-guard to make sure you’re not a potential rapist, and so her comfort level needs to be respected. That’s not to say yours isn’t important, and let her know if you’re not comfortable with something she’s doing/saying/suggesting. Women in general have a pretty good track record with respecting stuff like that.

Part 3: What NOT to do.
1. Pickup lines. Seriously, just don’t.
2. Bringing up anything sexual before date #2. Do not ask for nudes unless you’ve been together for over a month. Remember: she has to gauge whether or not you’re the type of guy who’d post it to a revenge porn website. If you really want nudes that bad, go watch some porn. Also, I can’t believe I have to say this, but it is none of your damn business if she’s a virgin or how far she’s gone. Furthermore, you don’t need to know anything about her sexual proclivities until you are actually inside the bedroom.
3. Ignoring signals. Now, this one’s hard for guys to understand, hence the whole HAHA WOMEN BE CRAY CRAY AND NEVER SAY WHAT THEY MEAN subset of internet culture. Please remember that if you are a woman in this world, you have to be very careful in what you do or say to the men you meet, because there’s a very real possibility they might murder/rape you, or at the very least use their power and privilege to make your life hell. Here are some popular signals you need to learn to recognize and respect:

- Flinching/physically withdrawing from you: This means “Stop” or “Not today” or “That was a red flag”
- Short auto-response, followed by long pause/long “Uhhhh”. This means: “You just said or did something that makes me uncomfortable, and I’m trying to think quickly of how to respond.” Qualifying phrases include “Wow, ok…” “Oh, umm…” “Welllllll….”
- Silence/Ignoring: This means “Go away.”
- Making as little eye contact as possible: This means “I’m looking for a way out of this conversation.”

There are some exceptions here, especially with women on the autism spectrum, women with PTSD, women with sensory disorders, or women who just auto-react to some things poorly. It won’t hurt you to come back with a “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Do you want me to go?”

Part 4: A few more general rules
- If you wouldn’t say it to your celebrity crush, don’t say it to her.
- You are not and never will be entitled to sex from anyone.
- You will be ok if you don’t get laid tonight.
- If your friends would make fun of you for being with a certain kind of girl in public, then you need to find new friends.
- Every woman is different, and there is no grand conspiracy, or universal thing that women want, except respect.
- Consent can be sexy as hell, but even when it’s not, it is always mandatory.
- Consider asking a female friend to be your wingman. Lots of women love setting up their friends. Or ask her or for advice, like, “Do I come on too strong” or “Do I smell?” or “Is there something everyone else picks up on me that I don’t notice?”
- Ax the Axe. Take a shower with some soap and shampoo and you’re good.
- If you’re self-conscious about your appearance, you are allowed to do things like get a manicure, get some light concealer for spots on your skin, get your hair done professionally. You will not stop being heterosexual if you do these things. That is not how heterosexuality works.
- Women of color do not enjoy being exoticized. Generally it’s not a good idea to bring up her race unless she brings it up first, at least not on the first date. That’s not to say you can’t, but WOC are so used to creepy guys talking to them about their Asian/black/whatever fetishes that you might come off as one of those guys without realizing it.
- Never forget that you are a human, talking to a human. You are not a human talking to a separate species with sex-holes that you covet.

If this helps even one boy not send dick-pics, I will be satisfied. Peace, y’all!

anonymous asked:

PLS GIVE ME MORE SMWV SHENANIGANS

YESSS ALWAYS MORE OF MY TALL GAY VOLLEYBALL DAUGHTERS

some trivia about the individual girls:

kelsey: 

  • has an entire folder on her computer dedicated to pictures of cat paws
  • owns so many fucking snap-backs, all of which have stupid shit like “dope” or “fuck” or “stop” printed on them. 
  • one year for her birthday, every single one of her friends got her a rainbow flag. she now has like 12 and sometimes she likes to use them for blankets. bailey always rolls her eyes because “kels, those are so fucking thin. they’re not blankets. youre being ridiculous” “let me be GAY BAILEY” 
  • would get along with kent parson. like, out of all the characters in the comic, she would probably click best with parse. him or lardo. the three of them could literally take over the world if they wanted to
  • on that note, her and bailey would DEFINITELY be down for a threesome with lardo. they’ve told her this. it’s a thing. 
  • hates shopping only because she’s so impatient that if the first four things she tries on don’t look good she just. storms out. 
  • fave 1d member is louis
  • uses old spice deodorant because it’s just BETTER than girl deodorant
  • used to be a dancer, but she likes team sports better. she still knows how to move tho. bailey is v lucky. 

bailey: 

  • loves dogs more than she loves her parents
  • her snapchat is truly a gift to all of her friends. she’s so gorgeous and she’s always postin selfies. her story is always like sooooo long but its worth it and no one ever skips it because she is an angel
  • is really close with march and april, since she’s the same year as them and they were freshies together. the person she’s closest to is kelsey, obviously, but the three of them have a p unbreakable bond, and when kelsey is drunkenly running around shirtless at parties making all the cishets slightly uncomfortable, bailey is usualy chilling with march and april, leaning on march and shit talking people with april in a deadpan voice
  • SHE PAN!!!
  • collects sunglasses. she wears sunglasses inside and people would get on her about it except she’s literally so pretty and intimidating and she looks good no matter what so why would they do that the answer is they wouldn’t bc they don’t want t get punched in the face
  • she has anxiety but in a VERY different way than jack. like at one point kelsey mentions to bitty that bailey has anxiety and bitty is like “??? she’s nothing like jack ????” and kelsey is like “shhh anxiety presents itself differently for different people” 
    • people assume she’s just very Cool and Intimidating, but literally after every interaction with other humans she turns to kelsey and is like “they hated me didn’t they” and kelsey is like “BABE no they loved you and thought you were cool and hot” and bailey is like “ok thank god”
    • her anxiety attacks aren’t very physical, they’re mostly pretty dissociative and internal. kelsey and march are the only ones who are good at helping her through them
  • hates doing laundry bc she has SO MANY FUCKIN CLOTHES 
  • her favorite thing in the world is putting her face rly close to fans and talking and doing the robot voice. kelsey gets fed up with this about .4 seconds into the summer. 
    • “kel-sey sher-man. i have come to steal your boo-ty. beep boop”
      “STOP”
      “why must you ru-in my fun. boop.”
      “BAILEY STOP”
      “i love you. beep beep.”
      “robots can’t love”
      (gasp) “THIS ONE DOES”
  • her fave ice cream flavor is rocky road

sara:

  • has a tumblr. used to be a fandom blogger when she was in high school, but now she’s just kind of an aesthetic/funny shit/reblogs her friends’ selfies kinda blog.
  • eats more ice cream than any person should. she’s also tiny. where does the ice cream go? how is she so in shape? what’s going on? she’s magic
  • used to do ballet, and could probably still do most of the moves. she basically only quit bc she reached the age where, if she wanted to make a career out of it, she would have to start seriously working towards it and she was like “fuck that” so she decided to be a jock instead.
  • on the topic of that: she does not fit in with Jock Girl aesthetic at all. she’s small and hates to smell bad and complains about practice a lot, but she loves her sport and she loves her girls so it’s fine.
  • loves boybands so fucking much. refers to one direction as “her boys”.
  • forgets that shes very small and tries to fight people all the time. especially if they’re mean to amanda. it’s fucking game over if you fuck with amanda
  • SO MANY PET NAMES. all the girls call each other babe and sis, but sara is the one to break out all the “sweetie”s and “honey”s and “angel”s. she calls amanda “her b” so often. it’s ridiculous.
  • her favorite animal is cats, and she has a ton of clothes with cat prints on them. she wants to own like 500 cats. she’s a mess.
  • used to collect stuffed horses. she was a horse girl. no one knows this except for amanda because she doesn’t want to be shamed.
  • only child
  • tragically heterosexual. she wishes so badly that she could just date amanda and be done, but she loves boys too much.
  • has broken every phone she’s ever had in less than a year. she’s a phone dropper. invest in a case, idiot. 
  • loves photography. she’s not good at it, but she tries really hard and has like 3000 followers on instagram so. it’s chill.
  • loves scented candles and bath bombs and never shuts up about baths. 

amanda:

  • THE HUMAN EMBODIMENT OF A PUPPY
  • underestimates her own height a lot and bumps her head on shit all the fucking time
  • gives the best hugs
  • can draw!!! and paint!!! 
  • loves movies a lot and gets v invested in tv shows
  • will not ever say no to giving people a piggyback ride
    • one time she tried to give march a piggyback ride, but since march is also stupidly tall, it ended with both of them running into trees and making everyone else fear for their lives. 
  • both her and sara are theatre majors!! they talk about theatre ALL THE TIME!! also they’re both v v talented and tend to burst into song all the fucking time. it gets worse if they’re actually involved in a musical at the moment. 
    • the entire team knows all the lyrics to every song in hamilton simply bc amanda and sara won’t fucking stop
  • her fave movie is the lion king
  • she’s an alto (sara is a soprano, this is the only thing that causes them any problems in their friendship, but it also means they can sing all the fuckin harmonies like woah)
  • loves markers and crayons. especially brand new packs. 
  • platonic kisses are something that she wholeheartedly believes in. amanda has a lot of love to give ok.
  • giggly drunk

I was gonna write about jessie too, but jessie is basically piper’s baby so i’ll let her add on with jessie, march, april, and caitlin if she wants. (and mal and mol)

@asterlark

Courtroom Women & Mayfly Men, Part 3 – John Hamish Watson

(If you’re just tuning in, this is part 3 of a 10-part meta series. Links to the other chapters can be found here.)

Welcome back, lovely readers! Today we’re going to be discussing the second courtroom deduction scene. This is the one that picks up as Sherlock drops his champagne glass and starts putting together the pieces on both of the Mayfly Men. Right off the bat: this is, hands down, the most analyzed scene in the entire Sherlock fandom, and very well-worn territory. I will be including a lot of stuff here that is already accepted fandom interpretation just so that we can get context and consistency for the new stuff. I’m also, just for the sake of expediency, going to link as we go along to other meta authors who have written it up better than I ever could, because frankly, it would be silly for me to re-analyze this scene in its entirety. It has already been done approximately a million thousand times.

Applying our new interpretation here, however, we do get some new data out of this scene. There are two ways that I’m going to be mining for data: first, through our character mirrors, and secondly, looking at how this scene fits into the Hamish narrative. I consider this data to be augmenting the accepted fandom interpretation, rather than carving out an entirely new interpretation. Got it? Good. On we go!

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The Flour Sack Baby

So about forever ago I got the above prompt, and even earlier than that, someone requested a fic based on this art, which I promised to do and promptly forgot about (I mean, we’re talking this was well over a year ago now, so cut me the smallest bit of slack). 

Anyway, I decided to combine the two and it turned into whatever this is.

E/R developing relationship, modern high school AU.

“Alright class, settle down,” Valjean said from the front of the room, and the class slowly fell into silence, until Courfeyrac, who hadn’t been paying attention, was the only one left talking animatedly to Marius, who blushed when Valjean said pointedly, “That does mean you, Mr. Courfeyrac.”

The class tittered and Courfeyrac grinned while Valjean just rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. “As much as I know you’ve all been looking forward to being done with our unit on sexually transmitted infections, that does mean we have to move into our next unit on family planning. As a reminder, I do not set the health class curriculum, the Board of Education does, so Mr. Enjolras, before you even bother complaining, my answer will be as it has been this entire time that there is nothing I can do.”

Enjolras scowled and crossed his arms in front of his chest, and from the back of the room, Grantaire snorted. “That being said,” Valjean continued, reaching under his desk and pulling out a sack of flour and setting it down on his desk with perhaps more force than necessary, “as you know, our final class project is the dreaded ‘flour baby’ project, and this year, I’ve decided to be a bit creative with the partnership assignments, to recognize – even if the school board refuses to do so – the reality of couples and partnerships beyond heterosexual marriages.”

For the first time, the class’s interest seemed piqued, and Valjean smiled before telling them, “But as a reminder, these partnerships are assigned and are not going to be changed, so I want to hear no complaining.” He grabbed his clipboard and began reading through the assignments, most of which garnered no more than the typical giggling and groaning, until he got to one assignment – “Mr. Enjolras, you’ll be working with Mr. Grantaire.”

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anonymous asked:

Why do you focus so much on Louis being gay? I'll be direct and say I'm not a Larry shipper but you seem intelligent and polite so I wanted to ask, why the attention to define Louis' sexuality? Why not Harry? A lot of Larry believers seem to be ok with Harry being bi? But not Louis, why can't Louis be bi?

Well I can’t speak for anyone else, but personally I think both Harry and Louis are gay. Of course, there’s always the possibility that either or both of them are bisexual or pansexual, but in my observations of them, I’ve never seen them display any genuine sexual or romantic interest in women, particularly in the women they’ve been publicly paired with.

Louis’s ‘relationship’ with Eleanor probably gets a bit more of my attention on this blog because he’s the one who’s more heavily closeted; Harry’s still allowed to hang out with gay friends and go to gay bars, kiss male friends on TV, wear t shirts supporting marriage equality and speak out against bigots like the Westboro Bapist Church, whereas Louis, the boy who once picked ’flamboyant’ as the one word he’d use to describe himself, is increasingly modeling himself as embodiment of all things heterosexual and masculine. He is used as the aggressor against 'Larry Stylinson’; the one who handles the bulk of their denials, calls the rumours ’bullshit’ and the fan-speculation ’a fucking annoyance’.  Harry might be name-dropped alongside every pretty starlet in the known universe, but Louis has to play the faithful boyfriend act and that’s harder to sell long-term. Either way I find both of their 'romantic’ interactions with women to be incredibly flat; one-dimensional and disinterested in a way they never are with each other.

To add to this, Harry has specifically address and dismissed the speculation that he’s bisexual when asked about it in that god-awful sexist piece of shit GQ article. I honestly believe that they try to avoid outright lying about their relationship as often as possible; it’s why Louis has so skillfully side-stepped the 'Larry Stylinson’ questions in the past (“apparently me and Harry are together and my girlfriend’s not real” “we just started out saying we were friends…”) and why Harry looked so freaking crushed when he was backed into a corner with the wording of the question in that Sunrise interview (“So Harry, you and Louis, there’s nothing going on?”) and was forced to reply with the world’s quietest and saddest “no.”

But probably the biggest reason I’ve been focusing more on Louis than on Harry in my discussions of their sexuality is because of what the closet is doing to their public image.  Harry’s Lothario public persona (and I might genuinely throw up in my mouth if I hear him referred to as a 'swordsman’ one more time), is actively rejected by so many of his fans, not just the ones who think Harry is dating Louis. You don’t have to think Harry is gay in order to look at the wide gap between his words and actions versus the things that are said about him in the tabloids and come to the conclusion that you’re being lied to by the press.

Conversely, Louis’ public persona is very much all or nothing. Either you believe he’s hiding his sexuality and relationship with Harry and disregard the unsettlingly and aggressively no-homo feel to some of print!Louis and @louis_tomlinson’s comments as closeting and pr spin, or you take the situation at face value and believe that despite the fact Louis Tomlinson has a long-term girlfriend he is still the sort of person who not only lets gay rumours affect his interactions with his best friend, but would also respond with anger and derision towards fans who might observe their (former) closeness that way. I don’t know about you, but I know which Louis seems like a nicer person.

In a nutshell, I guess the reason I rail against Louis’ closeting and bearding so strongly is because the people who believe in Elounor don’t just have the wrong idea about who Louis is dating, they have the wrong idea about who he is as a person.

I don’t understand how they can’t see who Louis actually is and I especially don’t understand why they’d want to be a fan of the version Louis Tomlinson they’re seeing instead.

­

compulsory heterosexuality as i experienced it

this post is obviously inspired by @clextra​ and many other people i’ve seen sharing their experiences. they are such an interesting read and i thought i would say something too because its a good reflection tool and it could potentially help someone through their own feelings. so here goes.

  • “she has a lot of boy friends. uh oh, that’s a worry!”
    • i found my old baby journal and my mum wrote that when i was barely a toddler. its not pleasant to think about but the root of my compulsory heterosexuality was my mother’s attitudes when i was younger. she would repeatedly insist that i had crushes on every boy i met when i was little. the most prominent time was when i was six and my best friend was a boy called sean. both of our mothers thought we had crushes on each other. i was six and he was just my friend. mum said she could tell because she ‘knew these things’, and because i believed her, i grew up thinking that what i was feeling (friendship with a boy) was romantic love. meanwhile, i idolised and adored my first grade teacher (who was a lot like miss honey mind you) and i kissed girls on self appointed dares. but because i was little and they werent boys, i didnt question it.
  • “no dating til you’re 18!” “ok”
    • i am my parents’ first child and only daughter, and though it wasn’t said in so many words, it was a given that i would not be allowed to have a boyfriend until my parents said so. and i was okay with that. i coasted through primary school without crushes on boys. most of my friends were getting their first boyfriends and i was confused. like, ‘why would they want to do that?’. while my friends noticed boys for the first time, i noticed girls’ breasts and stared at my friends when they were getting changed. but because i was young and they weren’t boys, i didnt question it.
  • “they think you’re gay”
    • i was about two weeks into high school when a few girls spread a nasty rumour that i was a lesbian. i lost 90% of the female friends i’d made, girls would move away when i sat next to them. although it wasn’t the first time others thought i was gay, it was the first time it got really awful. i cried a lot and told me mum as soon as i got in the car. without missing a beat, my mum said, ‘well you’re not gay, so there’s nothing to worry about’, which calmed me down quickly. i went home and rewatched my avril lavigne dvd for the third time that week. but because i was young and she wasnt a boy, i didnt question it.
  • “eeny meeny miny moe”
    • it seems to be a common thing that baby wlw chose boys to have crushes on, but i took it to an extreme. in an effort to convince people that i was straight, i got out the class pictures and played eeny meeny miny moe to choose which boy i liked and what my backup options were. the boy i chose i had a crush on for about 2 years. he was barely my friend, we’d spoken about three times, but i was In Love TM with him. i watched how my friends talked about their crushes so i tried to copy them. they were obsessed with their crushes, so i became obsessed with making sure i acted obsessed enough. meanwhile, i had sex dreams about girls, but because i was young and they weren’t boys, i didn’t question it.
  • “you’re smiling, that means you like him!”
    • my friends insisted that i had a crush on one my best friends. he was the aforementioned ‘backup’ from a few years earlier, and because he was nice and i liked spending time with him because he was my friend, i assumed that i did have a crush on him. about a year later my friends about this and manipulated me into asking him out, which i didnt want to do at all. even though i liked him, i didn’t want to date him. i wasn’t heartbroken or even sad really when he said no, if anything i was relieved that my crush was over. but i was also embarrassed and i avoided him for a long time out of shame. meanwhile that same year i recognised i had a crush on a girl in my art class so i panicked and dropped the class. i rationalised that it was a one time thing and it didnt count. i was young and she wasn’t a boy, so i didn’t question it.
  • “i don’t get it”
    • after panicking about having a crush on a girl, i went straight back into the compulsive behaviour of obsessively choosing crushes but i would only like boys that were boring and way below my standards so i wouldn’t ever date them anyway. it was a safe way to keep my Heterosexual Identity while avoiding actually needing to date boys. however i did have my first and only boyfriend when i was 15. he asked me out and other girls liked him a lot, so i said yes. the ‘relationship’ lasted two weeks. i didn’t want to touch him at all, i didn’t even want to hold his hand, and because i didn’t see the point, i broke up with him. it was at this time that i first recognised that how other girls felt about boys was very different to how i did. at lunch my friends would talk about how hot their boyfriends were or and share stories about their sex lives. i spent a lot of time listening with a disgusted and disturbed look on my face. i didn’t get it. upon realising that i never wanted to have sex with boys, i came to the conclusion that i was not like other girls and that i was better than them (which was an awful way to think). i then delved into fiction. i wrote from boys pov to gush about how pretty girls were, i became very emotionally invested in brittany and santana from glee, and created oc’s who were questioning. bonus gay points because i envisioned the characters as phoebe tonkin, who i ‘admired’ so much i made an ultra gay video about how hot she was. but because she wasn’t a boy, i didn’t question it.
  • “oh shit??????”
    • (tmi coming up dudes) so i graduated high school and i was finally free from that toxic environment. not long later i discovered masturbation (years after everyone else had because i never even thought of doing it), and although i really made an effort to fantasise about whatever male celebrity i had a crush on, i would daze out and just focus on the feelings. christmas 2012 i saw clara oswald / jenna coleman’s face and i was suddenly Really Interested in doctor who and i plowed through seven seasons in a few weeks just to get to her two episodes. i counted down how many episodes i had to get through to finally get to clara. “thirty episodes until clara! ten episodes until clara! next episode is clara!” sometime in the middle of all this i started entertaining the idea that i wasn’t straight. i tried to see if i could masturbate thinking about clara, and oh yes i could.
  • “i am bi but with a really really really really really strong preference for women”
    • (just a preface that this is my personal experience and that bisexuality is a real orientation) i like boys, i like girls. that means i’m bi, right? i was ready to embrace that i wasn’t straight and for me that meant having an identifier. i jumped the gun and said i was bi before i was sure of it, because that had to be what i was. i didn’t even consider that i could be a lesbian. i went through my first years of uni developing crushes on a lot of girls who i knew, but never on guys. as i discovered what it felt like to like girls, men paled in comparison and i realised that i only found like two men in the whole world attractive, and they were unobtainable celebrities. i envisioned my future and it was always with a woman. i would fantasise about women all the time, but never about men. it didn’t cross my mind to anymore. i thought i was bi with a really strong preference for women until the beginning of last year, when a man hit on me. i walked home absolutely certain that i was a lesbian, because i realised that i never ever wanted to interact with men in a sexual/romantic way. and i’ve identified as a lesbian ever since.

looking back i’m sort of like how the hell did i not know i was a lesbian? i really should have, but compulsory heterosexuality fucked me up big time for 21 years. i hope putting this all into words helped someone. compulsory heterosexuality is a bitch.

LG_T

Erasure is a complicated subject.

I was born onto a bed of privilege.  I’m of white European descent, and my immigrant ancestors came over the ocean long enough ago that my parents could speak the exact same dialect as the teachers at my well-funded suburban public school.  They both had graduate degrees, and our home was full of books.  I was encouraged towards intellectual pursuits.

My dad ran his own company when I was growing up. We weren’t super rich, but we never went hungry. By virtue of that business, I played with computers from an early age, and learned the basics of strategy and sales as far back as I can remember.

I wasn’t abused or disabled. In fact, for an extremely nerdy kid, I didn’t even get picked on all that much.

On top of that, I’m cismale and straight.


I knew that I was a straight boy, because I liked girls.  A lot.  Boy, oh, boy, girls were great.

My TV education on human sexuality was clear.  There are 5 sharply defined categories. Lesbians, straight girls, girls who liked to fool around with other girls sometimes but are actually straight (aka “bi” or “AWESOME”), gay men, and straight men.  Straight men go with women, and gay men don’t.  So obviously, I was straight.

And just as obvious as my straightness, I knew that some of our culture’s beliefs about straight people were off base.  Straight men are also attracted to men.  As a straight guy, any argument to the contrary was obviously wrong, because I knew from my own experience.  I’d had full-on crushes on male friends of mine, which was clearly a normal thing for normal straight people to do, as evidenced by me, a normal straight person doing it.

They said in vicious teasing that boys who liked boys were gay, but I knew that I wasn’t gay, because gay boys don’t like girls.  Therefore straight boys also like boys sometimes, and the people doing the teasing are just misguided or something. But I feared the teasing, so I didn’t point out their error.

I always felt like it would be an easy thing to “switch teams”, and be gay if I wanted to.  The fascination with the “born this way” meme in queer activism never made sense to me.  Of course we have a choice in the gender we pursue, doesn’t everyone?  Isn’t choice great?

I never did switch, because I didn’t want to be gay. That would mean I’d have to give up dating women, which I enjoyed.

Heterosexuality carries the privilege of not having to explain why I’m inviting someone out on a date. You’re a woman, I’m a man, we just follow the script that society has handed us.

It’s easy to remain only partly visible.


It took an embarrassingly long time to stop erasing, and become ok with calling myself “bisexual”, even in my own mind.

The realization didn’t come in High School when my crush on another boy had me following him around like a weird giddy puppy. Or in college, when I first kissed a boy. Or the second or third time that boy and I made out.

The scales started to lift from my eyes when I had a conversation with a good friend about the movie “Troy”, well into my 20’s.

He said, “That movie was kind of boring.”

I was shocked, and then I realized he was talking about the plot.

“Well… I didn’t really pay attention to the plot, tbh.  That movie’s just lots of Brad Pitt being gorgeous and half-naked.”

“You’re not as straight as you think you are.”

“Yeah, like you’re not attracted to guys sometimes.”

“Nope.”

“Not ever?”

“Not ever.”

“Not even Brad Pitt?”

“Not even a little.  You’re bi, dude.”

“Huh.”

I figured he was fucking with me.  But a lot of things did start to make sense.


My life since then has been significantly more interesting.

I tried on the label like a new pair of shoes, awkward, and uncertain.

Like a good nerd, I dove into the research, but found it surprisingly lacking.  Bi Men Coming Out Every Which Way was a great read.  I learned about how pervasive the erasure of male bisexuality is, even among academic studies of LGBT culture.  It’s as if the B isn’t there.  A man who has sex with men is gay.  If he then has sex with a woman, he’s “closeted”.

But how can it be a closet if you go into it and out of it repeatedly, with lovers and families on both sides?  That’s not a closet, it’s a room with a revolving door.

The idea that bisexuality might exist is news worthy of the New York Times, even.

Privilege is hard to give up.  I can’t overstate how easy it is being straight in public, just letting people think whatever they want. But in the years since I’ve come out to myself, this bugs me more and more.

When meeting a new person, I try to say “partner” rather than “girlfriend”, and sometimes even “they” rather than “she”.  The shape of my lover’s body is no business of theirs, after all.

But when I slip, and drop her name, or use female pronouns (which, to be fair, she does use, female as she is), I can’t help but wonder if they’re relieved to find out that I’m not gay, or perhaps just relieved to know which mold I fit into.

I find myself resenting being cast in a mold at all.  Even if I say “partner”, and they assume I’m gay, part of me feels so put upon by that idea.  And then here I am making assumptions about what assumptions someone else might be making. It’s a vicious cycle, and there is no escape from the hypocrisy.

I’ve tried since then not to make assumptions about others’ sexual preferences.  Yet despite my best intentions, I consistently find myself mentally putting people in the “straight” or “gay” buckets once I find out the gender of their significant other.

The habit of bi erasure is silent and pervasive.


The first time I kissed a boy was almost a dare. In a dorm room, sitting around drinking, as you do. The two girls, roommates, said to the 5 of us boys that they’d both wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl. But, they said, they’re not lesbians, so they wanted to do it in front of people, so that it wouldn’t get too serious, or go too far.

You can imagine the reaction.

YES, LADIES, YOU HAVE OUR ATTENTION, PLEASE PROCEED

Afterwards, one of them remarked, “See, that’s why women are better. Guys would never be secure enough to do something like that.”

He and I both replied, “Bullshit,” and before I knew it, sparks were flying. The other 3 boys in the room were shocked, making the socially required homophobic anguish sounds. I barely remember them being there. I’d been looking all day for an excuse to touch him. It ended too fast, but endures in my mind to this day.

What a shock it was when I learned, 14 years later, that he has a boyfriend now!  I don’t know why it should’ve been a surprise. Back then, making out just seemed like a thing straight friends did with each other once in a while.

Again and again, I catch myself being surprised like that.  I try to remember that, in fact, a significant portion of men are bisexual, perhaps even a majority, depending on how we decide to define things.  I try to yank my thinking out of the mold, but it frequently slips back.

You don’t notice erasure until you stop doing it.
And then you don’t notice when you start again.


I’ve been told by people in the LGBT community that “bisexual isn’t a real thing”, that I’m “actually straight” because I’m with a woman, or even, “men aren’t bisexual, just closeted.” Bi-curious is code for “about to leave the closet”. “Bi now, gay later.”

I have taken to referring to gay and straight people as “monosexuals”.  I respond by explaining that they’re just going through a phase.  Once they meet the right person not of their stated preferred gender, they’ll grow out of it and realize that they’re actually bi.

But I know, that old “everyone’s bi” story is just another way to push us into the background. If we’re not nonexistent, we’re unremarkable. Either way, nothing to see here. Move along. 

Or worse, if we are visible, we’re sex objects. Dating gay men confirmed every awful thing I’ve heard (and, let’s be honest, perpetuated) about how straight men treat bi women. Qv the “bi for male pleasure” meme implicit in my first gay kiss experience. They’re happy to fuck the SAG, but anything more than sex is off the table. We can’t be trusted, after all. We’re tourists. Unicorns. We don’t exist.

LG_T


Maybe the strangest part about growing up a closeted bisexual is that I’ve been practicing dating girls since puberty. I’m very good at it. Confident. Respectful. Sensitive. Witty. Hungry and giving. It’s not talent or PUA bullshit, and there isn’t any one weird trick. It’s the result of many years of conscientious practice, with loving patient teachers who were learning from me as well; the occasional broken heart that didn’t kill me, even when I felt like it was trying to.

But my experience with men is still so elementary. Men and women are different! Turns. Out.  I am 13 all over again, confused and stumbling, sending the wrong signals, and reading every situation backwards. And they are grown men with adult expectations who very reasonably want a peer, not an apprentice. So that’s been tricky.

I don’t have it nearly so rough as the newly-out “baby gays”, celibate well into adulthood. At least I’ve had some relationships, enough to learn that the emotional bruises heal. My heart goes out to them.

At first, I was very careful about who I told. I didn’t want to draw scandal or trolling to my online communities. I didn’t want the drama. I still fear the schoolyard teasing.

Mostly, I didn’t want anyone else telling me how to feel about something I was only beginning to accept myself.


Eventually, I’ve come to see my queerness less as a “thing” to be disclosed, and more as just another part of my private life.  Something that friends probably know, and strangers probably don’t, no more scandalous or secret than my address or my allergy to shellfish.

I envy kids growing up today, as the sharp lines between straight and gay finally begin to blur in the cultural consciousness. Straight boys in love today might explore that feeling, without suffering an identity crisis. I wish those lines would blur faster. I wish it was a big deal because love is awesome, instead of being a big deal because of the genders and stated identities of the actors.

My home is technology.  This is My Culture, rotten though it can be at times. As a privileged and visible person in it, I feel obligated to try to make it a little better in the ways I can.  That’s why I’ve decided to publicly tell this story, so that my presence can add weight to the claim that bisexual men exist.

Maybe this can also be a reminder of the multitude of other things we casually erase from the people around us. There are so many ways we make our friends invisible, unwittingly nudging them into a corner that denies important parts of their identities, by perpetuating memes we don’t even notice.

Erasure isn’t healthy. And we are all unaware that we do it.

Ok but how does one read Naruto and NOT see the blatant homosexual tension between naruto and sasuke.

The entire manga revolves around their completely //heterosexual// obsession with one another that led naruto to chase after sasuke for about 98% of the story until they finally reached each other in a bloody mess where they spent the night talking about their feelings for each other.

Like how do other ships even exist.

Ok yall. I witnessed a fight in my works parking lot tonight and all I gotta say is I wish things like this didn’t happen to me but apparently I attract every single type of crazy unnecessary energy around that causes me to experience the most EXTRA shit ever.
So on tonights episode of “My Name is Courtney and Why is my Life like This”…. I was minding my business in the back of your local Target parking lot feeding my babies like I have been I doing every night now (babies being the poor little stray cats that live in the corner of the lot who I’m trying to befriend) but that’s a different story. Anyways… I’m in the middle of opening a can of wet cat food when suddenly a truck screeches up to another car that’s parked at the edge of the lot and out bounces some shirtless dude. I’m like ??? ok. work.
So shirtless dude rips open passenger door to other car he has blocked off and pulls some guy out of it and immediately takes him to the ground. Naturally, my initial thought was “damn these boys really bout to have sex out in public like that? wild.” cause my view was blocked from the other side of his truck and I just saw under it as two dudes were just on top of each other with weird grunting noises. Trust me, I’ve seen stuff like this many a times before.
So I walk around to get a better view of whatever unnecessary business is going down and I see that shirtless truck dude legit beating the god damn soul out of this other boy. Like beating him up so bad I didn’t even have the response of “damn where’s my phone to film this” like beating on him to the point I’m pretty certain this boy is a bottom guy is rocketing through our solar system at light speed with how many stars he was seeing.
So my dumb cant-mind-my-own-god-damn-business-ass is like “NAH. ARE YALL REALLY FIGHTING RIGHT NOW?” and run over there, spilling wet cat food juices all over myself while I’m yelling a collection of profanities at bro-dude one and bro-dude two. As I approach with my “what the fucks???” and “why the fucks??” there’s just some chick standing there with her arms crossed watching them calmly so I’m just all sorts of confused. Is this some weird love triangle heterosexual erotic fight club? Is she into this? Anyways I’m stilling yelling like “you better stop fighting cause I’m getting the cops here” and homegirl is all calm like “yeah, call the cops” and I’m like???? Ok Kristen Stewart playing Bella Swan in the 2008 blockbuster hit Twilight could you please show some emotion?? This is pretty crazy?? Why are you so calm?
So my extra catfood smelling ass runs up to our cart attendant like “YO GET ON WALKIE GET OUR SECURITY OUT HERE THESE DUDES ARE FIGHTING” and then run back to WorldStar over there on the ground like “Yall better QUIT. We got security coming.” and shockingly enough they listened to me and stopped fighting. So shirtless dude is just pacing around all mad and I’m just standing there like ???? why is any of this necessary?? it’s just 8:30 pm a monday can we please not?? I legit asked them “You really came to the fuckin target parking lot to fight? You’re so smart that you came to the local target to fight each other?!” and just started to walk away cause they were looking like they were leaving. So shirtless boy looks at me and actually says “I’m sorry for fighting at your Target. I caught them cheating….” whilst getting into his truck.
So I was like damn straight people really are fucking crazy and said the very comforting “that sucks dude lmao…” and as soon as pity starts to wash over me, truck boy is getting into his lifted toyota but looks over the hood and yells “Fuck you faggot!” to dude he just pounded on.
So uncontrollably I’m like 0 to 10 in .3 seconds like “wait no what you idIOT YOU BETTER WATCH WHO YOU CALL A FAGGOT ASSHOLE. CAUSE IM A FAGGOT. YOU GOT A FAGGOT RIGHT HERE” (very eloquently). And he’s like “shit sorry i dIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT.” and I’m all like “YES U FUCKING DID” and he’s like “NO CAUSE HE’S NOT GAY” and I’m like “IT DOESN’T MATTER!” and he like “I FUCKING DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT I DONT MIND GAY PEOPLE. GAY PEOPLE ARE OK.” and says one last sorry before slamming his door and speeding away.

This happened. It really did.
#Party.

From A Kiss To Red Cabbage

Thanks to everyone for the likes, reblogs and lovely comments on; favour.

This is for the lovely @irish-girl-84 who asked me to fill in the gap between first kiss and finger time, including informing the gang.  Thanks for the prompt m’dear I hope its ok?

And of course big thanks to the lovely @nemo-miracle-grow for your support and finessing.

There is some mild smutty talk in here so avoid if that’s not your bag!

From A Kiss To Red Cabbage

Wednesday 28 August 1996

Well diary today was the best day EVER.  I’m too aroused to write now - will fill you in tomorrow; I need to go to bed and take care of some business.

Thursday 29 August 1996

Good morning diary: HE KISSED ME! HE KISSED ME!  Yesterday HE KISSED ME!

My first kiss with a heterosexual boy and not just any boy; the most mouth-watering sex god in the whole of southern Lincolnshire.  Yes Finn Nelson whose face is so delicious it makes my lady-parts well up just thinking about it.  

Keep reading

hermioneclone  asked:

Prompt: Either Stiles or Derek being really into some trashy TV show and the other one teases them about it. Then the teaser starts watching it to get amo and then get's more into it than the original person, who then mocks them back and maybe starts to make out with them too. :)

4/6

So this goes a little off prompt (I’m sorry, i had to!!)
In which Derek is the Sterek fandom.

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen,” Derek says definitively about six minutes in. Stiles, sprawled out and nestled against his chest, groans audibly.

“I like it, ok? And it’s sometimes really awesome. Or like, has the potential to be really awesome. It started out really well.” He pauses. “I have hope.”

“You could just watch something that’s actually good instead.”

Stiles flicks Derek’s side as the opening credits roll – a thrumming backbeat coupled with frenetic, darting strings and flashing images of the main cast.

“No one said you had to watch it with me, Mr. Ultra TV critic.”

Derek rolls his eyes and seriously considers leaving. He’s seen enough already to know that he’ll regret trying to wrap his brain around the convoluted plotline in front of him.

But Stiles is a warm and comfortable weight on top of him, his thumb tracing idly along the base of Derek’s skull. Derek rolls his eyes and sighs pointedly, but doesn’t move.

.-

“Literally none of that made sense.” The episode is over (thank god), and he pushes himself up, stretching, as Stiles gets up to grab some snacks from the kitchen.

Derek isn’t the type of person to misuse the word “literally,” either. The acting wasn’t bad, and the cast was attractive (probably why it had caught Stiles’ attention in the first place, Derek thinks with a smirk). But literally, none of that had made sense.

“Why would the villain do this massive spell to mess with that guy’s memories just so he’d let her into a room? She had him for months, right? And that’s the plan she came up with? Wouldn’t torturing him or threatening his loved ones do the same thing a lot more easily?”

Stiles chuckles from the kitchen, calling back: “Yeah man, I don’t know. I was expecting kind of a bigger payoff there too.”

Derek rolls his eyes.

“I know.”

Stiles had spent probably three fourths of the episode shifting and exclaiming against Derek’s chest, trying to guess the villain’s motivations, the contents of the secret room, the way it would all affect the heroes in the aftermath… And every single one of Stiles’ theories, as far as Derek could tell, made a hell of a lot more sense than what had actually happened.

At least the episode is over.

He settles back into the couch again, a smile touching his lips as Stiles teeters back out of the kitchen, two bags of chips (plain and sour cream), a jar of dip, jelly beans, a can of soda, bottle of water, and bowl of chopped carrot sticks carefully balanced in his arms.

“What’s all that?”

Stiles drops the haul out on the table in front of them, grabs the remote, and settles back in against Derek’s chest.

“Marathon food,” he says cheerfully. “I’m way behind and now that you’re watching too I figured I could catch up.”

Derek blinks at him, then back at the screen.

“I am not watching too,” He says, quick and indignant. But Stiles just quirks his head a little, imploringly, and Derek rolls his eyes and waves for Stiles to start the next one.

Stiles had chopped carrot sticks for him. He can’t just leave now.

“It has a stupid title,” he mutters, and Stiles laughs.

.-

“So you’re telling me those two characters aren’t dating?”

“Dude, get your shipper glasses off,” Stiles says with an easy grin. “Those are both completely heterosexual men and anything you see to the contrary is totally in your head.”

Derek gives him a slow look, eyebrow arching. He doesn’t know what half of that had even meant, but: “They just stared at each others’ mouths. They are not straight.”

“That one,” Stiles points to the slighter one on the left, “has a crush on a girl.”

Derek blinks at the screen, then back over at Stiles.

“And?”

Stiles snorts and ducks in for a soft kiss before settling back against his side.

It doesn’t answer Derek’s question, but he lets it go after another second. It’s not like he’s actually invested in any of this nonsense anyway.

Keep reading

my response to tumblr user ben-c

DISCLAIMER: I am not posting this to hate on tumblr user ben-c. I simply disagree with much of her philosophy and want to respond to some points she’s made against Johnlock. Fair warning.

Her comments are in italics.

  •  But how can you POSSIBLY try to use “john only got married after sherlock left!!” as some sort of argument for johnlock when that’s a HUGE indicator of the manipulation and abuse in their dynamic? like…..if it takes someone completely and (supposedly) permanently leaving your life in order for you to develop a relationship with someone else, that’s not “cute,” that’s unhealthy as fuck

John had plenty of relationships with other people through the first two series of Sherlock, i.e., Sarah, Jeanette, etc. You’re assuming that his not getting married before Sherlock left had something to do with being “under Sherlock’s thumb” when in reality, who would he have even wanted to marry? Yes, John had casual relationships with women, so we know he was satisfied on a superficial/sexual level, but none of them were outstanding enough for him to consider a serious commitment. This is completely normal. Stop acting like Sherlock was some kind of abusive pimp who kept John from meaning relationships with people outside of himself. He didn’t.

As John said to his counselor after Sherlock faked his death, “My best friend is dead.”

This is huge. As someone with a best friend whom I love dearly, I would be shattered if I was in John’s place. This was not just an acquaintance or fairly good friend, this was a best friend, and best friends are different. They occupy a much larger residence in the heart and mind, and in John’s case, this was a best friend whom he had feelings for, and that takes an even longer time to recover from. John is a man mourning the loss of the person he had begun to fall in love with, not a man mourning the loss of his abuser. Sherlock’s death was not cathartic in any way. It did not free John. It caged him. Sherlock’s effect was positive, not negative, and it was his absence that reopened John’s wounds.

Then he meets Mary, and he’s so lonely and wrecked in the aftermath that he allows her to insert herself into his life, thinking that perhaps she will be his healing. But in the end, Mary lies about her identity as an assasin, shoots Sherlock, tries to get him to keep it a secret from John, is defensive and cold when John speaks to her (forgives her) at Christmas, and exacerbates all the old trust issues he carries. Now that’s unhealthy as fuck.

  • “why do you watch sherlock if you think john and sherlock’s friendship is abusive!!!!!!” well why do you watch hannibal if you dont believe will and hannibal have a beautiful perfectly healthy friendship. why do you watch orange is the new black if you don’t think piper and larry’s engagement was great. why do you watch supernatural if you dont think john winchester was a perfect loving father?

Obviously characters don’t have to have perfect relationships for them to be acceptable for public consumption. Dysfunction is entertaining, etc., etc. But there’s a substantial difference between watching two characters who don’t have the most wonderful relationship and watching two characters engage in emotional or physical abuse. I would put up with the former, but I would never waste time with the latter. I have no respect for relationships, fictional or otherwise, that are seriously harmful. That is, if they actually are harmful. Johnlock, as I have elucidated in this post, is no such relationship. I am a pigheadedly moral person and anyone who knows me in real life can attest to that. I detest abuse, manipulation, codependency, and the works, and I’m very good at spotting it, calling it out, and cutting it from my life. I am many things, but a hypocrite is not one of them. If the hate for Johnlock was authentic and founded in anything other than subtle (and not so subtle) homophobia, bitter complaining, and ignorance, I would agree. But it isn’t, therefore I don’t.

However, the issue here is that ben-c is saying she’s perfectly okay with spending time, money and thought on a show that, in her eyes, perpetuates abuse. This is problematic. Whether in reality something is or is not abusive, if you believe it is, why on earth would you continue watching and supporting it? Why not devote time to something more positive?

  • john only has canon relationships with women and has expressed no attraction to men and uses “im not gay” as an explanation for not being with a man so maybe hes not actually bisexual crazy huh?

One word: Jolto.

Remember what Mary said to Sherlock at the wedding while the two of them watched John and Major Sholto catch up? “Neither of us was the first, you know.”

Which is great, because she herself includes Sherlock in the scope of John’s previous romantic partners.

John totally had a crush on James Sholto and he totally had/has a crush on Sherlock. This is basically canon.

His constant claim of “I’m not gay,” does not mean “I am straight.” There is a middle ground—bisexuality—and no, I’m not abusing it for the sake of my ship. Plenty of closeted bi people have said “I’m not gay,” when confronted over the fact that they seem to have feelings for someone of the same gender. Because they’re not gay. But they’re not straight either. And for some people it’s much easier to play up their heterosexuality, especially in the largely homophobic climate we live in.

I myself am not gay, and don’t experience sexual attraction toward other women, but I do experience romantic attraction toward them on many occasions and when I was younger I would often bewilderedly think “but I’m not gay,” because I also had crushes on boys. Technically I wasn’t gay. I just didn’t understand romantic orientation at the time, nor did I know it was even a thing. John Watson may be in a similar boat. He may not have fully explored the option of being bisexual or biromantic. Or maybe he has, but isn’t comfortable coming out just yet.

But using “I’m not gay” as proof John isn’t bi is an extremely limited take on the subject and propagates the bisexual erasure so many of us dislike.

  • god that “john cant sleep peacefully without sherlock” post is hardcore buggin me because like john couldn’t sleep before sherlock, and it was because of his ptsd……the whole point of him not being able to sleep after the fall was that sherlock hardcore triggered his ptsd and set back his recovery…..idk why u tryna make that some romantic shit that’s unhealthy as fuck man

I agree with the fact that Sherlock’s death triggered John’s PTSD and ruined a great deal of the progress John had made, but on the other hand Sherlock gave John an incredible sense of normality, stability, friendship, and security during their time together at 221B and the loss of that was, I believe, equally traumatizing.

  • y’all romanticize the fact that when sherlock is deducing the jack the ripper he ~hears john’s voice~ but like to conveniently ignore the fact that john’s voice was telling him he was a show-off and criticizing him and insulting him so……..

Even if a voice in your head sounds like someone else’s, it isn’t. It is our own voice masquerading as theirs and our subconscious supplies the dialogue. What we truly think about ourselves is what we hear in our heads. John doesn’t loathe Sherlock; he’s simply hurt and shocked. Sherlock loathes Sherlock, and he’s quite raw over the fact that John hasn’t forgiven him. Raw and guilty and ashamed. In reality, we know John says things to Sherlock like, “Brilliant, fantastic, marvelous.” He’s extremely kind and complimentary. But because Sherlock is feeling so disgusted with himself, his psyche manipulates John’s voice into a critical, malignant one that taunts and disapproves. Sherlock is projecting his own self-hate onto his best friend.

  • johnlockers saying that sherlolly is a bad ship because it’s abusive is literally the most hilariously hypocritical thing on the planet and will never fail to make me laugh heartily

Who said it was abusive? The only reason I don’t ship it is because Molly will never be a priority to Sherlock over John—and I believe she deserves full priority in whatever relationship she lands in—that plus the fact that Moffat has stated Sherlock has no attraction to women, so…yeah. There is that.

  •  TJLCers can make a tag for hating on mary and wishing her dead but we cant have a tag for posting about why johnlock isnt canon because that’s too offensive……….ok

Remind me again who jumped into the fire to save John?

Mary Morstan, or, as we should more accurately address her, A.G.R.A., kills people for a living. Let that sink in. She kills people for a living. Would you be okay if your spouse turned out to be assassin? If so, I am concerned.

She’s a liar. She’s a killer for hire. She’s callous and blank and apathetic. She used John. She used Sherlock. She killed Sherlock. What brought him back? The thought of John being in danger.

What A.G.R.A. did is so beyond the realm of okay. It was horrific. It was abusive. It was done to two men who have already been psychologically traumatized. If you think Sherlock’s death triggered some major PTSD in John, well get ready, because this is going to be cataclysmically worse.

The argument that she shot Sherlock to save his life is nothing short of goddamn stupid. I can think of some better ways to save his life. For example, not shooting him.

??????

As the popular text post said, Mary’s pressure point is Mary. She’s the definition of selfish and it appalls me that anyone would ignore this, but sit around whining about how Sherlock and John abuse each other. Like, get out of my face.  Sherlock made a vow to both John and his wife, and he kept it. He was there. Always. Just as he said he would be. He kept his vows; Mary did not.

I can’t believe there are people out there who want to debate this. I literally cannot believe it.

  • if johnlock not gameender, how come look at each other? Check mate!! #RealIsTJLC

Bruh. You complain about us mocking you but you turn around and do the same thing. Please stop being so infantile.

  • ok but like if your otp has abusive aspects and you don’t recognize them and/or refuse to admit them how can you possibly try degrading someone else’s ship, Christ

Yes, why don’t you ask yourself that, Miss Sheriarty-is-not-abusive-even-though-Jim-tried-to-kill-Sherlock’s-best-friend-and-ruin-Sherlock’s-reputation-and-make-him-feel-small-and-worthless? And yet you degrade Johnlock every day.

Again, don’t be a hypocrite. It’s extremely unbecoming.

  • tjlc is abusive and fetishized trash, plus johnlockers are already obsessed with taking everything for themselves, why can’t we take something back???

You seem upset.