5 Tips for Non-lesbians
  • Don’t say dyke
  • You can’t reclaim dyke
  • Don’t use the butch/femme identifiers, they’re not for you
  • Don’t use the “stone” of stone butch/stone femme identifiers, its not for you
  • Listen and don’t speak over us, especially when it comes to the misappropriation of our history and terminology

Please respect us lesbians and these five, very small, things we’re asking of you. Yes, this includes non-lesbian WLW.

Thank you, and good day!

Um lol yeah excuse me, but if you’re straight, white, cis, and a man or any of the above??? You are literally equally as deserving of love, respect, kindness, and understanding as any LGBT+ person, racial/ethnic minority, or woman, I’m sorry sweaty I don’t make the rules :)

I wanna be one of those people that’s like “respect people’s identities if they aren’t harming anyone!!!” but then I see cishets saying that they’re lgbt bc they’re only attracted to smart people or bc they don’t want to have sex unless they know the person and I’m like damn,,,, y'all really gotta test me don’t you


I, for one, love homosexual-scented candles.

but jeez I wanted to create a new sexualities post, bigger, better,  and more inclusive than the lizards sexuality one I did last year. I’m kind of proud of this! Have some informative pride candles, or something like that. A

Also huge props to @pride-flags-for-us because without them I’d be lost on a lot of these flags (and also wouldn’t have discovered a lot of sexualities). 

you’re not automatically a good person because you’re a PoC
you’re not automatically a good person because you’re Caucasian
you’re not automatically a good person because you’re transgender
you’re not automatically a good person because you’re cisgender
you’re not automatically a good person because you’re heterosexual
you’re not automatically a good person because you’re not straight
you’re not automatically a good person because you’re religious
you’re not automatically a good person because you’re atheist

shut the fuck up

I’m nervous about making a whole post about this but I’m gonna. I’m just gonna come out and say it.

If you claim that asexual and/or aromantic people are straight, you are perpetuating heteronormative thought.

Now, I know that’s a bold statement but please listen to my thought process behind it. I don’t mean any disrespect. I just want to put into words why I think categorizing persons lacking some kind of attraction as “straight” doesn’t work.

The assumption in our society usually is that someone is 1. comfortable with their body in relationship to physical sex 2. Has a socially acceptable gender that both fits into one of two boxes and lines up with what was perceived at birth and 3. Is sexually, aesthetically, and romantically only attracted to persons in that other box, and not their own, and they have that attraction. They are attracted to people in that other gender category.

This is what we would call heteronormative thought. The assumption that a person you meet is cisgender and straight. But we all know that not everyone is like that. And the whole “straight until proven gay” mentality our society has is not a good way to go about human interaction.

There is more than one thing wrong with the “straight until proven gay” mentality. First of all, it is harmful to gay people. But not just that. It is especially harmful to all of those outside of the “gay” and “straight” boxes. Even as society is becoming more accepting of non heterosexual cisgender persons, it still wants to place them in a binary. Either gay or straight. As usual, persons attracted to more than one gender, persons whose aesthetic, romantic, and sexual attractions do not necessarily line up with each other, and persons lacking one, several, or all types of attractions are left out in the cold.

Saying asexual and aromantic people are straight is like trying to fit a square box into a round hole. It just doesn’t work. And that applies to calling them gay too. That’s like trying to fit a square box into a triangular hole. Its not a circle, but its still not a square.

I think we’re all stuck in a heteronormative mindset in one way or the other. Society has done its darndest to make sure we are. Many gay people see someone that does not fit into their triangular hole, so they assume that persons that do not fit must fit in the circular one. If its not black its white. If its not a rainbow its gray scale. If its not gay its straight.

But see, those of us that lack one or more attractions don’t fit on the neat little gradient you’ve set up. Life doesn’t just slide from red to blue with shades of purple in between, and it is most certainly not just red and blue. There are those of us that are green, yellow, orange, brown, black, or white or any color in between and if you talk in terms of just gay and straight you are leaving out a huge portion of the rainbow.

Life can’t be talked about in terms of this or that. If you get that, then poc who are not of African decent are left out of race discussions, persons who don’t have a binary gender are left out of feminist discussions, and those of us who have an attraction to more than one gender or a lack of attraction are left out of the queer community.

If the LGBTQIA+ community is for everyone that does not fit into the category of persons who are okay with their assigned gender and feel sexual and romantic attraction towards persons of the other binary gender and only people of that other binary gender then well,

Make room for the non triangular boxes. Expect more colors than just blue. If you want to fight heteronormative thought, then accept that asexual and aromantic people are not straight. They are lacking attraction or only feel attraction rarely or in specific circumstances, and there is a whole different life experience attached to that, and it doesn’t line up with a straight one.

I personally think that part of fighting heteronormativity is fighting the assumption that everyone experiences attraction. Not everyone does, and if you do not experience any attraction in one or both categories, then you can’t be attracted to the opposite sex and/or gender both sexually and romantically, and therefore can’t be straight. Assuming you have a binary gender in the first place, which many of us don’t.

So, in conclusion, just because someone isn’t gay doesn’t automatically mean they are straight, and part of fighting heteronormativity is fighting the binary ideas sexuality has fallen into. Thank you for your time.

If attraction was a conversation about flowers
  • Straight person: I like roses!
  • Gay person: I like tulips!
  • Bisexual person: I like roses and tulips!
  • Pansexual person: I like every type of flower!
  • Demisexual person: I'm not a big fan of flowers, except I saw these dandelions at the store yesterday and OHMYGOD THEY'RE WONDERFUL
  • Asexual person: I'm allergic to flowers, but I still think they're pretty!
  • Aromantic person: I just don't really get the hype about flowers.
  • Homophobic person: WHY ARE YOU NOT ALL ROSE LOVERS??? HELL FOR YOU!!!