Y'all understand that it is literally not possible for gay couples to be heteronormative. A masculine gay man dating a feminine gay man isn’t heteronormative. A butch lesbian dating a femme lesbian isn’t heteronormative. They’re fucking gay. Telling gay people they’re somehow enforcing heteronormativity by being themselves and dating another gay person is nasty and ridiculous.

today in french we were doing an exercise on adjective forms and some of the sentences said things like “boys prefer pretty girls,” “girls prefer muscular boys,” etc. and my 40 yr old straight married professor makes an awkward face and says “ok, wow these just got weirdly heteronormative. how about you fill in the blank with whatever noun-adjective combination you want, as long as it follows correct grammar”

and the answers that we came up with were amazing.

  • girls don’t prefer boys, girls prefer (fast) cars and money 
  • boys prefer beautiful barbecues
  • girls prefer annoying cats
  • boys prefer 75 large plastic dinosaurs
  • and of course: pretty girls prefer pretty girls 

so remember kids, heteronormativity doesn’t belong in the classroom but 75 large plastic dinosaurs do.

When a male character and a female character in a movie/TV show start giving each other the Meaningful Look™

Me:

  • straight people: *sees a baby boy make any gesture of acknowledgment to a girl* w0w wHAT a ladIES MAN!!! such a stUD!!
  • also straight people: *sees someone age 13-19 being romantic with someone of the same gender* i just don't understand??? like you can't know that you're gay until you're an adult??? why do you have to force your gay agenda on the children™???

it’s so remarkably asinine that straight girls have girlcrushes and wcw’s and say things like “i’d go gay for her” or “i’d fuck her” and hold hands with/kiss their girl friends and their sexual identity is never attacked or under question but gods forbid a lesbian says “he’s cute” bc how dare we have eyes and decent judgement

Doctors insisting that all women take pregnancy tests before having an X-ray is sexist and paternalistic. I’m a lesbian who’s never been sexually active, but I’m always required to take a pregnancy test “just in case.” This practice reflects the general culture of doctors not believing and trusting women, and it needs to change. 

You might not realize it, but in-your-face displays of heterosexuality are everywhere — the family photo on a desk, the man and woman holding hands on the beach, or an opposite-sex couple kissing in a bar. No one accuses these couples of “flaunting” their sexuality, but make it two men or two women in the photo holding hands or smooching, then we’ve crossed the line. That’s the double standard.