hetalia: s. italy

  • Japan: *spins around on his chair to face Germany* How long have you been sleeping with Italy?
  • Germany: That’s disgusting. And wrong. I don’t even get– why would– I’ve never had sex with anyone, anywhere. It’s none of your- you have- the nerve, the audacity. Italy is my friend, technically. And he is terrible, face-wise. And how- how- do I know, frankly, that you’re not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you’re trying to throw me off? Hmm, check and mate.
The signs as hetalia quotes

♈ Aries: “Looks like someone needs a spanking.”

♉ Taurus: “That was my mother’s cup you fool!”

♊ Gemini: “I guess Germany’s asshole isn’t all that cozy.”

♋ Cancer: “Magic metal pipe of pain!”

♌ Leo: “Suck ball! I knew fortune cookie was bad luck!“ 

♍ Virgo: "No rikey.”

♎ Libra: “Its a matter of gay or death.”

♏ Scorpio: “What the crapola happened here?!”

♐ Sagittarius: “Japan digs my sexy cat ears.”

♑ Capricorn: “I want to pet cats.”

♒ Aquarius: “You stop that potty talk this instant!”

♓ Pisces: “Fuck that spoon!”

Allies/Axis and the Nordics reacting to accidentally touching the s/o's chest

america

England

France

Russia

China

Canada

Germany

Italy

Japan

Romano

Prussia

Denmark

Norway

Iceland

Sweden

Finland  

unoriginal human au in which the beilschmidt brothers are personal bodyguards for the wealthy vargas brothers, who live with their weird sexy grandfather (he owns several wineries or something idk). for the sake of comedy, feli probably gets kidnapped all the time and ludwig has to rescue him. basically it’s like mario and princess peach switch nationalities.

even more for the sake of comedy, lovino and feliciano aren’t always together and each has to always have a bodyguard. which means either ludwig or gilbert have to endure many insult-filled hours with the combative and irritable lovino.

definite gerita, potential prumano. however if you’re like me, you prefer an aromantic gil and like the relationship lovi has with the vargas family’s dopey and smiley gardener

  • Italy: What was Spain's initial text?
  • Romano: "Can't believe I miss you this much after 3 hours XO"
  • Italy: "XO"? Fratello, marry him! What’d you write back?
  • Romano: "Haha, lame."
  • Italy:
  • Romano: It was a joke. I was insulting him. You know, flirting.
How the 2ps kiss

Allen D, Jones/ 2p America

James Williams/ 2p Canada

Louis Boneyfoy/ 2p France

Oliver Kirkland/ 2p England

Sergei Braninsky/ 2p Russia

Yang Wang / 2p china

Siegfried Beilschmidt./ 2p Germany

Luciano Vargas/ 2p Italy

Flavio Vargas/ 2p Romano

Klaus Beilschmidt./ 2p Prussia

Kuro Honda/ 2p Japan

Ryszard Edelstein/ 2p Austria

Santiago Fernández Carriedo/ 2p spain

Maryska Braninsky/2p Ukraine

Anastasia Braninsky/ 2p Belarus

anonymous asked:

their crush saying 'i love you' accidentally and panicking and saying it was a joke?? :D

2p!america: you’re ‘joking’? …you’re joking? BUT ARE YOU REALLY

2p!china: *blushes a little* heh… you don’t mean that, bǎobèi . ;)

2p!england: ah… so do you love me platonically? familial love? friendly love perhaps? ooooh and then there’s romantic love and oh dearie don’t mind me i’m just naming different types of love because they’re wonderful and why no i’m not blushing,, goodness gracious is it getting warm in here? *laughs nervously and adjusts his bowtie, a total flustered mess*

2p!france: *eyebrow raise* did you just–

2p!russia: do you… often joke about these types of things?

2p!italy: but you’re blushing… are you sure you were joking? because your body language says otherwise……,,

2p!germany: *grins* sure you were~

2p!japan: *awkward cough* anyway……..,,, *tries to change the subject*

2p!canada: *stares at you* …say that again

2p!romano: oh honey stop lyin’ to yourself ;D you’ve finally fallen in love with me haven’t you?~

2p!austria: *presses a finger to your lips* ah, but they say a joke such as that is always half honest~ have you finally realized your feelings for me, sugar?

2p!prussia: *pained laughter* hahhahahaa… th-that’s a really funny joke…