hes too busy with his phone

  • Prompt 4: Tsuna is an A+ wingman and wins the Best Friend of the Year Award

‘Twas the night before a major exam, and all throughout the Vongola house. Not a creature was stirring, not even the implanted enemy mouse. The animal boxes were placed on bedsides with care while hopes of peaceful sleep permeated the air.

Ring Ring… Ring Ring… Ring Ring… Ring Ri-

“Enma, it’s like 2am in the morning. I have morning training with Reborn and morning classes too you know,” Tsuna grouched into his cell phone as he shifted in his bed. He literally just fell asleep two hours ago and had crashed from a caffeine rush of studying for an exam. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to someone, even if that someone was his best friend.

There was an audible intake of breath before the Shimon answered his question. “I need your help.”

“Mafia help or friend help?” Mafia help meant famiglia business and had to be dealt with ASAP depending on the severity. Friend help meant just that and could be put off for when he was feeling more like a human being than a tired mass of flesh.

“…Dynamics help.”

Tsuna shot out of his bed, wide eyed and awake. “Dyna- Y-you woke me up because you found some Omega you need help with? Are you serious?” Dynamic help was rarely needed between the two as they were both Alphas and all three dynamics practically fell to their feet to spend time with either men. They’ve had their share of each dynamic in their bed, preferring the more Omegan types above the others not because of their dynamics but because of just how right it felt.

Enma was not dealing with Tsuna’s shenanigans this evening. “Are you going to help me or not, Tsuna? Please.” There was a hint of begging in his voice, not very commonly found in the present Enma. Old Enma, probably, but not this current one. He disposed of that version of himself a long time ago to resurrect the Shimon.

The Vongola sighed dramatically before flopping back into his bed. “…Fine. Meet me at Harmonia’s Cafe at 12. We’ll have lunch and discuss this then.”

“Thanks.”

The cafe was crowded with college students, each taken table littered with college ruled paper and textbooks. Coffee was a permanent smell and there were the distinct chatter of the STEM students trying to out-science each other from across the cafe. It was the perfect place for Tsuna and Enma to meet up and discuss dynamics.

After they got their lunches served and exchanged small talk, Enma finally began to unleash his woes towards his friend. He talked about her smell and occasional lack of scent, Sergei, the lunches they still had together before class despite it being weeks after the project was done and presented. The redhead gushed almost disgustingly about her quirks, her stereotypical college student meals and spending habits.

The Shimon boss eventually summed it all up into one sentence. All of his desire, frustration, adoration, and troubles for the foreign Omegan student. “I want her.”

Tsuna frowned as he dipped his grilled cheese into the tomato soup and took a savage bite out of it. “I want to destroy the Vongola from the inside and look where that got me.”

Enma gave him a hard stare before sighing and running his hand through his hair. “I’m serious, Tsuna. She smells amazing but she’s always wearing scent blockers in public.”

“Didn’t you say she took them off in her apartment? Corner her there.” Tsuna chewed thoughtfully on his sandwich before swallowing. “Unless you promised not to jump her or something.”

The Vongola sighed when Enma did not deny the suggestion of the promise he had made. “Well, you just made it harder for yourself. That’s fine, whatever. Let Give me some time to figure things out and see what I can do.”

There was no way in hell would the Shimon sever ties with the Vongola if Tsuna managed to pull this off. Enma would make damn sure of this. “Thanks, Tsuna. I’ll owe you one.”

The brunette smiled at his friend, “No problem, Enma.” He said his name a little louder than necessary and when the redhead found out why he did, he couldn’t decide whether to hug him or kill him right then and there.

“Enma! Fancy seeing you here.” There she was, the scentless wonder smiling at him and looking at Tsuna. “I was Enma’s partner in a class project a while back. Nice to meet you,” she introduced herself and offered Tsuna her hand to shake.

Ignoring the panicked look on his friend’s face, Tsuna smiled back at her. “Tsuna Sawada, nice to meet you. I was hoping I would finally meet Enma’s mystery partner. He keeps going on and on about how amazing it feels to finally have a partner who does their part in a project on time and early too.” He motioned for Enma to scoot over. “Join us, we just ordered lunch but we were planning to stay a little longer anyway.”

No they weren’t.

“Oh thank you!” She slid into the seat, accidentally bumping into Enma. “Sorry. Uh, what do you recommend? I’ve never been here before and I heard it was a good place for students.”

Tsuna took the menu on the table and offered it to her. “I wouldn’t know, really. Enma comes here more often than I do so you should probably ask him.”

The scentless Omega offered the menu towards Enma and asked for his opinions. She slid closer to him, almost smacking him in the face with her head. Of course, if she wasn’t wearing those blockers Enma would be more than happy to suffer such an attack.

He tentatively wrapped an arm around her waist, pleased when she scooted a little closer. “So you want the traditional spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Yeah, I think I’m in the mood for that,” she smiled brightly at him before moving a little away from him. Luckily for the Shimon, she stayed with arms reach and left his arm where it was. If anything, she placed her hand on where his rested on her waist and hummed happily. “So how did you meet Tsuna? You guys looked pretty comfortable around each other that if you didn’t tell me you didn’t have a brother, I would think he was your brother.”

Enma blanked a bit before he threw together a civilian-friendly version of how he met the Vongola. “Well, we used to live in Japan and we attended the same school together…”

Across the table, Tsuna continued to watch amused as his friend attempted to be cool and collected around the little pretty Omega he found. The brunette sighed internally, wishing he wasn’t playing the third wheel now that she joined the table. He silently patted himself in the back and declared himself as the bet wingman in the goddamn mafia world if things between Enma and his Omega went extremely well.

Later that day, Tsuna received a thank you note from his redheaded counterpart. “Our date is in two weeks on a Friday. Thanks.” It was accompanied by a glass framed picture of the Vongola and Shimon Decimos shaking hands with the engraving of “SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI” FOLLOWED BY “BEST FRIEND OF THE YEAR AWARD”.

“Dork,” Tsuna mumbled as he placed the picture on his bedside table.

  • Bruce: I am vengeance
  • Bruce: I am the night
  • Bruce: I am--
  • Bruce: *phone buzzes* *holds up finger* one sec
  • Criminal being strangled: Uhhh--
  • Bruce: *into phone* you remembered to put sunscreen in his bag, right?
  • Bruce: look I don't give a shit if he says he doesn't burn--
  • Bruce: Just make sure he wears his hat too--
  • Bruce: No, I'm on patrol.
  • Bruce: Yes, I'm busy, but sunscreen is import--okay.
  • Bruce: Okay, fine. Bye. *hangs up*
  • Bruce: *looks at criminal*
  • *awkward pause*
  • Bruce: You heard--
  • Criminal: *quickly* I didn't hear SHIT
Mischief and Babygirl // A Stiles Stilinski Roommate AU Smut

Prompt: Imagine two people being in a situation where they can’t stand each other and are forced to live together. They hate each other with every fiber in their body and are always mad about the smallest things. But, what they didn’t know was that they had made an online friend and had grown very fond of each other and started dating online with each other. When they decided to meet up and see one another for the first time, they find themselves in a very shocking and unexpected situation.

Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Mutual Masterbation, Dirty Talk, Sexting, Nudes, Oral (male on female), Fingering, and Swearing.

Word Count: 6,829

A/N: This is definitely one of my favorite one-shots I have written. I really hope y’all like it, too. It’s another round of me and @celestial-writing just putting ideas together (love you)! Also, how fucking hot is angry Stiles tho???

And guys, I put this thing so you can now read your own name instead of (Y/N)!! If you’re not on my blog, you just have to click the little box which will take you there and BOOM, now my fics have become 100% personal for you! (Unfortunetly, doesn’t work on mobile)

Your name: submit What is this?


Immediately letting out a shout as anger boiled up inside of her for the millionth time today because of the same freckled boy, (Y/N) grabbed the empty jug of milk out the refrigerator and trudged towards the dining room table. There sat her four roommates and greatest friends in the world, well everyone except Stiles Stilinski that is.

“Stiles!” She yelled, throwing the empty bottle in his lap and startling him. “I swear to God, if you ever leave anything empty in the fridge again, I will kick your sorry ass!”

“Sweetheart, you couldn’t kick this ass no matter how hard you tried.” Stiles scoffed and took the bottle off of his body to place it on the table.

“You wanna bet?” (Y/N) threatened.

“Funny.” He laughed which only made the young woman even more furious than she already was.

Stiles immediately jumped when she harshly slammed her hand down on the surface in front of him, leaning her face so close to his that they were only inches apart.

“Never doubt a woman’s capacity to destroy someone.” (Y/N) stated, her voice harsh enough to make him gulp. “We do know how to perfectly get rid of blood stains after all.”

“Damn, Stiles.” Scott chuckled from his seat on the table. “If I were you, I’d go buy a lifetime supply of milk right now just to protect myself.”

“Nah,” Camile disagreed and everyone could hear the smile in her voice. “What they need to do is sleep with each other already. The sexual tension between you two is really tiring.”

“I’ll say.” Madi groaned. “I’m the one who’s room is right next to theirs and, God, the fighting is non-stop. Just have sex already, please? Not for the love of God, but for my sanity!”

“(Y/N) wishes she could get into my pants.” Stiles smirked, a grin playing on his lips as their eyes locked.

“Oh please, Stiles.” She scoffed, standing up straight again. “As if you actually had something in your pants that interested me.”

“Ouch.” Scott cringed and a devious smirk made its way onto (Y/N)’s lips when she noticed Stiles get offended by her comment. “I’d leave her alone after that one.”

Stiles angrily skid his chair back, its legs screeching against the tiles, and stood up. As intimidating as it was to have him look down into her eyes due to how much taller he was, (Y/N) stood her ground and didn’t dare shy away.

Out of nowhere, Scott picked up the butter knife he was using for his bagel and unexpectedly begin to swat the air in between the two young adults.

“What'cha doing there, Scott?” Stiles asked, their eyes now staring at their fellow roommate.

“Trying to cut the sexual tension between you two, but damn it’s too strong.” He laughed, the two other girls in the room laughing loudly along with him.

“Screw all of you.” (Y/N) huffed, walking away from every single one of them and going up the stairs to her room in anger.

As much as she hated to admit it, Scott was unfortunately right. There’s no doubt about the sexual tension within (Y/N) and Stiles and, yes, both of them have yet to confess that they’ve thought about being with each other on more than one occasion. But, even though she does have a secret crush on him and would love it if Stiles got under her bedsheets, the way he gets under her skin frustrates (Y/N) more.

Reaching the first floor of the house the five of them rent so they don’t have to live in crappy dorm rooms, the furious girl walked inside of her bedroom and shut the door behind her. The sound echoed through the halls and the four left downstairs all jumped at the sudden sound. Scott, Camile and Madi instantly glaring at Stiles.

(Y/N) immediately laid down on her messy bed and grabbed her phone from her nightstand. Tapping on the instant message app, she began texting her online friend. I wouldn’t exactly say that they were just online friends because it’s so much more than that. They’ve been texting each other anonymously for about a year now and couldn’t get enough. Neither one of them have ever shared a picture of their faces because they want to focus on personality and not appearance. All the time that they’ve spent texting, both knew for a fact that they really liked one another. Which is why the two are beyond nervous for their first blind date tonight.


Babygirl 💋 [12:45 pm]: Today is the day I commit my first murder, Mieczyslaw

Mischief 💚 [12:45 pm]: Roommate again? 😂

Mischief 💚 [12:46 pm]: Well, where do you want us to hide the body?

Babygirl 💋 [12:46 pm]: Should we just bury him out in the woods?

Mischief 💚 [12:46 pm]: Nah, that’s a dead end. The cops would find it too easily

Mischief 💚 [12:46 pm]: What we need to do is go to the zoo and when no one’s looking

Mischief 💚 [12:47 pm]: We throw his body in the lion’s den

Mischief 💚 [12:47 pm]: There’s no crime if there’s no evidence

Babygirl 💋 [12:47 pm]: You know, sometimes your intelligence really scares me

Babygirl 💋 [12:47 pm]: You’re too much of a fucking genius!

Mischief 💚 [12:48 pm]: Just a genius?

Mischief 💚 [12:48 pm]: Nothing else? 😉😏

Babygirl 💋 [12:48 pm]: And really fucking sexy

Babygirl 💋 [12:48 pm]: Especially when you talk cop to me

Mischief 💚 [12:49 pm]: Well, in that case…

Mischief 💚 [12:49 pm]: All units proceed with caution

Mischief 💚 [12:49 pm]: We have a 180 on our hands here

Babygirl 💋 [12:50 pm]: Fuck

Babygirl 💋 [12:50 pm]: The things you do to me…

Mischief 💚 [12:50 pm]: What kind of things, baby?

Mischief 💚 [12:50 pm]: Tell me everything you’re thinking 😉


(Y/N)’s entire body sparked with immediate desire the second she finished reading his message and she could already tell her panties were slowly getting wetter by the second.


Babygirl 💋 [12:51 pm]: Well, for starters

Babygirl 💋 [12:51 pm]: I can’t wait till our date tonight because I’ll finally be able to feel your lips on my own

Babygirl 💋 [12:51 pm]: I’ll get to feel your hands all over my body

Babygirl 💋 [12:52 pm]: The friction of our skin sliding against each other taking over all of my thoughts


Stiles Stilinski shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he continued to read the dirty texts his online friend was sending him. The excitement for their blind date tonight getting stronger than ever and Stiles honestly couldn’t wait until he finally came face-to-face with the girl that completely takes over his thoughts. Well, second girl that is. The first being his favorite roommate (Y/N) (Y/L/N). He knew that he irritated her beyond belief, but he couldn’t help but think how beautiful she looked everytime her eyes glared at him with such fury that it instantly became sexy or how her lip would snarl in anger and how much he desperately wanted to bite down on it.

Their relationship was an addictive game of Cat and Mouse and both parties enjoyed every second.


Mischief 💚 [12:53 pm]: Fuck, baby

Mischief 💚 [12:53 pm]: What else?


“Do you have ants in your pants or something?” Camile questioned the smirking young man and Stiles’ head immediately snapped up at the blonde. “Stop moving so much in your seat, dude.”

“U-Uh…” Stiles stuttered, feeling like he just got caught doing something very naughty. Which wasn’t exactly far from what was going on on his phone. “S-Sorry.”


Babygirl 💋 [12:54 pm]: I can’t wait till your mouth attaches to my neck

Babygirl 💋 [12:54 pm]: Then slowly keeps going down and down…


“Why do you keep grinning at your phone like that?” Madi asked, tearing Stiles away from the intoxicating text.

“He’s talking to his internet girlfriend.” Scott smirked. “They pretty much sext daily.”

“We do not sext daily!” Stiles complained at the same time that (Y/N) sent him a picture of her body in just her underwear, showing him exactly what he would be touching tonight. “Fuck.”

“What’d she send this time?” Scott laughed, the three curious twenty year olds trying to peak over Stiles’ phone to see.

“None of your business, Scott.” Stiles scolded, getting up from his chair and trudging away towards the staircase. “Or anyone else’s for that matter!”

“Make sure to clean yourself up afterwards!” Camile yelled.

“You’re disgusting!” Stiles shouted back, a holler of laughter taking over the dining room. “Go to hell!”

“Only if you’re there, too!”

Once Stiles reached his bedroom, he entered his safe space and shut the door behind him. By the way their texts were leading up to something more, he knew for a fact things were about to get hot and heavy and he didn’t need anyone passing by his room to see him in a very vulnerable state.


Mischief 💚 [1:02 pm]: I can’t wait to touch you, baby

Mischief 💚 [1:02 pm]: I’m literally counting the seconds until I finally get to lick your stomach

Babygirl 💋 [1:03 pm]: Fuck, Mieczyslaw

Babygirl 💋 [1:03 pm]: What else are you gonna do to me?

Mischief 💚 [1:03 pm]: My tongue is gonna keep going lower until it reaches the place you want me the most

Mischief 💚 [1:04 pm]: Then, I’m going to slowly circle it around your swollen nub

Mischief 💚 [1:04 pm]: I’m gonna wrap my lips around you and suck so hard you’ll be cumming in a matter of seconds

Babygirl 💋 [1:04 pm]: Oh God, Mieczyslaw

Babygirl 💋 [1:04 pm]: Keep going

Babygirl 💋 [1:05 pm]: I’m almost there


In the short time that Stiles spent arguing with his friends downstairs and texting her the dirty things she so desperately wanted to read, (Y/N) had removed her clothes, taken a picture of herself for him and began working on her own body thanks to how hot he’d made her. She started out by moving her hand slowly around her clitoris before using her other hand to pump two fingers inside of her soaking wet core. Even though she really liked Mieczyslaw, she didn’t exactly know what he looked like so, as shameless and dirty as it was, (Y/N) thought about the first sexy guy she could think of. That handsome man being, none other than, the exact same person that was currently thinking about her as he quickly unzipped his jeans and pushed his hand inside of his boxers to get a hold of himself.


Mischief 💚 [1:06 pm]: Fuck, that’s so hot

Mischief 💚 [1:06 pm]: Send me a picture

Babygirl 💋 [1:07 pm]: Attachment


Stiles cock twitched when he noticed that she hadn’t sent him a picture, but an actual video instead. Rubbing himself with one hand, Stiles used the other to press play on the video with eagerness laced in his blood. The footage began to roll and the boy licked his lips in anticipation. Stiles groaned and increased his pace on himself when he realized it was a video of the girl fingering herself for him, her sexy moans almost pornographic. It consisted of a full view of her body, her breasts perky for him as her finger moved fastly inside of herself. In a matter of seconds, (Y/N)’s legs began shaking to indicate she would be soon falling over the edge and that’s exactly what happened. Hearing the girl moan shamelessly and watching her entire body shudder as an overwhelming orgasm​ hit her, it didn’t take much for Stiles to also reach his.

His legs shook and his eyes shut, Stiles’ head falling back on his pillow, at the same time that hot cum shot out of his tip and immediately landed on his stomach. He imagined it was (Y/N) that had jerked him off and it was enough to make his high last longer. Stiles didn’t even mind the sticky release on his skin, all he could think about was how much pleasure he was currently in.

As soon as (Y/N) finished cumming and sent Mieczyslaw the footage, the girl had got up from her bed with satisfaction in her veins. She walked over to her closet and put on a robe before walking out of her bedroom to go to the bathroom and take a much needed shower. The second she passed by Stiles’ bedroom, however, desire and lust flooded her entire body when she suddenly heard him moaning uncontrollably.

“Hey, Stiles!” She shouted, knocking on the door and startling Stiles in the process. “Stop watching porn and go read a book!”


~


“(Y/N)!” Stiles yelled angrily, his fist pounding against the bathroom door. “Get out already! I have to leave soon!”

“So do I!” She shouted back, not caring about wherever it was Stiles needed to go to. “And I have actual hair to wash here!”

“Just don’t wash it!”

“I’m going on a date, idiot! I have to be completely clean!”

“For what?” Stiles questioned, sarcasm laced in his voice. “It’s not like he’s gonna go out of his way to sniff your hair!”

“No, but he’s definitely gonna be able to smell it when his head is snuck in my neck as he pounds me into oblivion!”

It was a simple comeback, but it did manage to sting Stiles’ heart in jealousy. Slamming his fist against the door one last time, the young man let out a frustrated grunt before walking away to his room.

(Y/N) gladly took her time to finish prepping herself in the shower until she finally decided to step out of the bathroom. Needless to say, Stiles was furious at the young woman but she couldn’t find a single bone in her body that actually cared. She wanted to look, smell and even taste her best for her date tonight and no man was going to stop her. (Y/N)’s been waiting for this special night for too long to worry about what other people had to say.

Which is why the young woman just walked right by Stiles without even giving him the chance to scold her. He stared in awe as she entered her bedroom, noticing how good she looked with her face flushed from the hot shower and the droplets of water running down her skin. Stiles’ mind immediately picturing himself licking the water off of her naked body and he felt slightly guilty.

The both of them got ready at the same time and the rest of the house watched in amusement as they simultaneously shared the bathroom, arguing the entire time. (Y/N) would try to look at herself in the mirror to put on mascara and he would get in her way to fix his quiff or just as Stiles would wet his toothbrush with the running water because (Y/N) was finishing up brushing her own teeth, she turned off the tap.

“You’re unbelievable.” Stiles groaned, shaking his head and opening the tap again.

(Y/N) didn’t say anything, she just blew him a kiss that was nothing shy of sass as she left the bathroom to finish her look in her bedroom. She had already fixed her hair and put on all of her makeup, so all she had to do next was take off her robe and wear the gorgeous black dress she specifically bought for tonight. Once she sprayed herself with her favorite perfume and was ready, (Y/N) walked down the staircase and approached her other three roommates in the living room.

“Well, how do I look?” She asked and they turned their heads to take in her outfit.

(Y/N) was absolutely gorgeous and it was no surprise everyone’s jaws were dropping at her breath-taking beauty.

“Like a queen.” Scott gawked, a genuine smile lighting up on (Y/N)’s lips.

“It’s not too much?” She questioned, spinning around for them.

“Hell no.” Madi smirked. “Whomever you’re seeing tonight is one lucky guy, my friend.”

“Good.” (Y/N) answered.

Just as she was grabbing her favorite coat from the rack, Stiles had reached the last step of the staircase and laid his eyes on the incredibly stunning woman before him. He immediately stopped in his tracks as his eyes grew wide at the sight. Her hair was perfectly done and a part of him wanted to run his fingers through it but the other part of him knew that if he did it would ruin the style and that would be a crime. Her makeup was simple, however the bold red lip definitely grabbed his attention and he wanted to smudge it with his own. (Y/N)’s long legs went on for days, Stiles already picturing them wrapped around his waist. However, what caught Stiles’ eyes the most was the alluring dress tightly hung against her beautiful curves. It made his brain spin in his head and jealousy crashed all over him at the thought of her being dressed like this for someone else.

“Do you really think you should be wearing a dress like that?” Stiles asked, clearing his throat and (Y/N) spun around to gaze at the source of the sudden voice.

“What is that supposed to mean, Stilinski?” She retorted, her manicured hand settling on her hip.

“That dress is too revealing.” He scolded. “It’s definitely not first date material.”

You’re not first date material.” (Y/N) scoffed, slipping her coat on.

She didn’t want it to be true, but the young woman could’ve sworn she saw a small glimpse of hurt in his eyes. But, it was soon gone before she could really check.

“Have fun on your date.” Stiles stated harshly as he walked past her and opened the door. “I hope he’s an ass.”

Before (Y/N) could even respond, Stiles was out the door and slammed it. The rough action surprising her and making her feel not only guilty but heartbroken that she caused that. (Y/N) loved the hate relationship she had with Stiles, but she also knew she wanted more. The two constantly fought because they were so alike. Stiles loathed how quick and sarcastic she was, but at the same time loved that only she could handle bickering​ with him. (Y/N) despised that he always managed to point out the things about her no one ever noticed, but loved that Stiles actually paid enough attention to see them. It was a complicated game they played, but the two were masters at it.

“Do you ever get tired of the way you treat each other?” Scott spoke up from the couch and (Y/N) turned around to look at him, the hurt still evident on her face.

“Sometimes.” She answered softly.

“Shouldn’t you two just stop?” Scott asked. “It’s obvious that you do all of this because you’re into each other.”

“Shouldn’t you three stop butting into our love lives?” (Y/N) retorted, no longer sad but now angry at the entire situation. “It’s Friday night and you’re sitting on the couch. Go out and have fun!”

“For your information, we are going out.” Scott scoffed and the two other girls nodded.

“Good.” (Y/N) stated as she opened the door and walked out. “Get to it!”

Even though he wasn’t in the best mood, Stiles pushed down all of his feelings for the girl he lived with to focus on the girl he was about to meet. She has helped him get her mind off of (Y/N) on more than one occasion, even though they did have the same name, and he was ready for her to do that again tonight. He thought about all of the incredible times they’ve spent chatting before pulling into the restaurant they picked and parking in the first space he could find. Once he locked the jeep behind him, Stiles headed towards the main entrance and nervously waited for the girl he talks to more than his own family.

With the anger still flooding inside of her, (Y/N) left her car and arrived at the restaurant. She no longer wanted to go on this date because she knew that all she will be able to think about is the spastic boy she lives with and never leaves her brain. It doesn’t matter how distracted she gets, Stiles is always there in the back of her mind.

The second (Y/N) looked up from her heels clicking against the pavement, her heart stopped inside of her chest. With every step she took towards the main entrance, her heartbeat would increase more and more. There, in front of her, was Stiles Stilinski. The exact person she was trying to get away from.

He was so focused on what was going on inside of his mind that Stiles hadn’t noticed her until she was literally right beside him and (Y/N)’s perfume made its way into his nose. Stiles’ head snapped towards the source, his eyes growing wide when he noticed it was (Y/N) herself next to him.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles asked, entirely confused. “Did you follow me?”

“I have better things to do than follow you, Stiles.” (Y/N) scoffed. “I’m meeting my date here. What the hell are you doing here?”

“I also have a date.” Stiles smiled smugly and certainly didn’t fail to notice how it effected her.

“So, we’re both having dates at the same place?” (Y/N) stated, in awe of this awkward situation. “Wonderful.”

“Where’s your date anyway?” Stiles questioned. “Shouldn’t he have picked you up?”

“It’s a blind date.” She explained, folding her arms against her chest which made her cleavage pop out even more and Stiles awkwardly tried to gaze elsewhere. “What about your date? Weren’t you supposed to pick her up.”

“I’m also having a blind date.” Stiles retorted.

Neither one of them put together exactly what was going on between them. Both standing in the tension heavy entrance, desperately looking at whatever person that would arrive and hoping it’d be their online friend. Little did they know, their dates were standing right next to each other this entire time.

They waited for a good thirty minutes before (Y/N)’s feet started to hurt from standing so long in thin heels and she sighed.

“I think we both got stood up.” (Y/N) stated in a hurt voice.

“No, my date wouldn’t do that.” He shook his head, pulling his phone out of his pants. “I’m texting her.”

“Yeah, me too.” (Y/N) agreed, zipping open her clutch to grab her phone.

She couldn’t help but look over to his text from the corner of her eye. He was messaging someone nicknamed “Babygirl” and (Y/N) felt insanely jealous when he watched him type in “Hey, baby. Are you still coming?” She didn’t even know who this babygirl of his was, but she knew she already hated her with everything (Y/N) had inside of her. Of course she was into Mieczyslaw, but she secretly wanted to be on a date with Stiles instead. She just wanted to have one encounter with him that didn’t consist of fighting.

(Y/N)’s thoughts were, suddenly, interrupted when her phone vibrated in her hand. The girl realized she had received a message from her blind date and already scoffed thinking about whatever poor excuse she was going to read explaining why he wasn’t here.


Mischief 💚 [8:32 pm]: Hey, baby. Are you still coming?


(Y/N) didn’t even think before immediately dropping her phone on the floor in complete shock, her heart going down with it. It fell in her stomach in surprise as she finally put all of the scattered pieces together. She quickly turned around to Stiles, who was already looking at her in astonishment from how she just randomly dropped her cellphone with the screen now entirely shattered.

For the longest time she didn’t say a single word, all (Y/N) did was stare at the beautiful boy she lived with that also happened to be the person she’s been secretly texting back and forth. Stiles didn’t know what to say or do either, from how odd she was behaving, but he mentally prepared himself to drop everything and drive her to the hospital in case she needed it.

“Y-You’re real name’s Mieczyslaw?!” (Y/N) exclaimed, shouting the first thing that popped in her mind.

“What?” Stiles furrowed his eyebrows, confused now more than ever.

The young man wearing flannel watched as she bent down to grab her phone again and, without giving him the slightest explanation, stuck her phone screen out for him to read what was written on it. It took a little bit for his brain to process everything, but when it finally did he felt as if it had just exploded.

(Y/N) expected Stiles to say something, but was completely surprised when he stuffed his phone in his back pocket and grabbed her face with his hands. Before she could understand what was going on, Stiles crashed his lips against hers with such passion and fervor, (Y/N) almost fell. But it wouldn’t matter if she did our not because Stiles would’ve caught her anyway with how he wrapped his hands around her waist.

All of the anger, frustration and rage they ever felt towards each other was channeled into the kiss and started to slowly slip away as they began to be replaced with desire, need and, dare I say, love. They always felt attached to each other no matter how upset they were until only now realizing that all of it meant love. Stiles and (Y/N) loved each other so deeply and it wasn’t just sexual tension. They truly got to know each other incredibly well over the time they spent talking online, sharing so much information that they felt closer to each other than to anyone else in their lives.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” Stiles confessed, panting as he touched his forehead with hers.

“So have I.” (Y/N) blushed and Stiles leaned in again to place another addictive kiss on her lips.

As they kissed, Stiles slid his tongue across her bottom lip and asked for an entrance to which (Y/N) happily granted. The two didn’t even fight for dominance, they just explored each other’s mouths and enjoyed every discovery. Their tongues would brush together and neither one of them had enough self control to hold back their satisfied moans.

(Y/N) broke the kiss and Stiles’ lips moved to her jaw. He created a trail of wet and hot kisses that drove the girl crazy. It didn’t matter they were in public. (Y/N) could already feel herself getting wetter and wetter by the passing second. It was when Stiles’ mouth attached to her earlobe, his teeth grazing the skin as his tongue caressed it, that she knew she desperately needed more of him.

“Stiles,” She whimpered, his tongue sliding through the shell of her ear. “Do you really want to go on this date or do you just want to get out of here?”

“We can go back to my place?” Stiles smirked.

“I’d love that.” She laughed breathlessly.

“But, I do have to warn you.” He smiled against her heated skin, now sucking a bruise into her neck. “I have the world’s most annoying roommate. She really knows how to get on your nerves.”

“Hmm,” (Y/N) grinned playfully. “Sounds like she really gets to you. Should I be jealous?”

“Absolutely, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, then, damn.” (Y/N) smirked, a light blush painting her cheeks. “I hope she doesn’t mind us crashing her apartment. I tend to be loud.”

“Fuck.” Stiles groaned, pulling his mouth away from the several different bruises he created to stare at her. “I’ll meet you there.”

The next thing she knows, Stiles is placing one last kiss on her lips and eagerly rushing away towards his blue jeep. A smile etched across (Y/N)’s face at how adorable he looked, happily climbing into his car and immediately turning it on.

The ride over to their house was full of adrenaline and excitement. Everytime they would have to stop at a red light, Stiles would look over to (Y/N) in her car and smugly lick his lips. Which would flush her entire body with more lust than it already was sporting, her core aching in need. Once they arrived and were both finally out of their vehicles, Stiles pinned (Y/N) against the front door and reattached his tempting mouth on hers. She gasped at the sudden act, but Stiles just swallowed it into their kiss. Their lips molded together as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling (Y/N) in even closer.

“What was that for?” (Y/N) asked, her lungs fighting for air after breaking the kiss.

“Because I needed to feel your kiss again.” He confessed.

A blush crept up on her cheeks and a grin made its way onto his lips. (Y/N) reached up to reconnect their mouths, tongues finding each other as she tried to zip open her clutch and grab the house keys. Stiles gently bit down on her lip and she fumbled with the zipper, his touch too intoxicating to have her focus on anything else. That’s when Stiles grabbed her hand and settled it on his lower back, a shameless moan falling from (Y/N)’s mouth when he lowered it even more. Both smiled into the kiss the second he guided her hand over his ass and squeezed, (Y/N) giggling when she realized his copy of the house keys were in his pocket this whole time.

Stiles took his hand off of hers and put it back on her waist as she slipped hers into his jeans’ pocket and pulled out the keys. The moment they were in her hand, the freckled boy broke their kiss and swiftly turned her around so she could open the door. Stiles’ mouth and teeth were sucking another hickey on her shoulder blade and (Y/N) felt weak in her knees. She didn’t know how, but she managed to unlock the door and turn the knob.

An animalistic instinct washed over Stiles and he immediately pushed the front door open, rushing the two inside. Before (Y/N) could even say anything, the young man hitched one of her legs around his waist and shoved her against the now closed door once again. She squealed when he did and Stiles chuckled against her lips. Both of their bodies dripping with lust as he rubbed his clothed bulge against the inside of her thigh, (Y/N) moaning in the process. Her hands were now wrapped around his neck, her fingers caressing his heated skin, and Stiles kept one hand on her waist as the other slowly slipped under the skirt of her dress to grab her practically bare ass. (Y/N) was wearing the smallest thong she owned and it definitely made Stiles’ cock twitch in his boxers.

“Shit, I’m seriously considering just fucking you right here.” Stiles moaned, his lips brushing against hers.

“Please do.” (Y/N) whimpered, Stiles feeling her heartbeat against his own chest.

“Please don’t.” A familiar male voice suddenly spoke up and the two lovers immediately snapped their heads towards the source.

Scott, Camile and Madi hadn’t left their​ positions on the couch since the two went out. The scene was absolutely comical from how shocked and frozen the three were. Scott had the tv remote in his hand as it pointed to the screen, his eyes wide. Camile kept a bowl of popcorn on her lap and held a single one up to her mouth, but it paused just outside of it as she stared in shock. Madi, however, wasn’t as astonished as the rest due to the mischievous grin she was wearing.

(Y/N) immediately tried to push Stiles off of her in embarrassment, but he held his ground and stayed right where he was. She couldn’t believe that they hadn’t even noticed they weren’t alone when they arrived.

“I have no problem still fucking you here.” Stiles grinned and, as turned on as she was, (Y/N) covered her face with her hands in humiliation. The girl let out a squeal when Stiles placed his mouth on her collarbone and began assaulting it with his tongue.

“Stiles!” She whined.

Out of pure respect for the girl he was holding and not because he cared that there were other people in the same room, Stiles placed (Y/N)’s leg down on the floor and took a step back from her. His hands were raised in surrender, but his eyes were still gazing at her in a cocky fashion. (Y/N) cleared her throat to rid herself of the embarrassment and slowly walked towards the staircase, Stiles watching her intently.

“Excuse me.” She stated to the three on the couch before looking over at Stiles with the lust still pooling in her pupils.

He certainly picked up what she was putting down as she began walking up the steps, Stiles hot on her trail. (Y/N) yelped in excitement when Stiles unexpectedly smacked her ass with his hand and they rushed even faster towards her bedroom.

“Go get that ass, Stiles!” Madi exclaimed.

“Use a condom!” Camile shouted after her.

Right as Stiles shut the bedroom door behind him, Madi turned around to grin at her two friends on the couch and both of them groaned. Searching in their pockets, Camile and Scott handed their fellow roommate twenty bucks each. Immediately regretting their bet on the two lovers upstairs that just yesterday were fighting. The bet consisted of when they would eventually hook up, Madi declared it would happen this month as Scott and Camile bet at the end of the year. Needless to say, the two lost.

(Y/N), yet again, was pushed up against a door and she quickly figured out that Stiles definitely has a door fetish. Not that she was complaining or found it weird in any way, it was actually one hell of a turn on. Their lips were back in sync together as Stiles reached behind her back and slowly unzipped the gorgeous dress (Y/N) was wearing, her breathing increasing at the contact. Once there was nothing left to unzip, Stiles let go of the zipper and proceeded to take off the straps of her dress. As soon as they were down her arms, he completely let go of the fabric and the dress instantly fell to the floor. Unfortunately breaking their kiss, (Y/N) stepped out of it pooling at her feet and Stiles’ jaw dropped when he took in her body.

The young man was already familiar with how she looked thanks to the countless times​ they’ve shared photos of their bodies through text, but he had never seen her in the flesh before and it was amazing to him. (Y/N) was wearing the most sexy set of matching purple underwear, his favorite color that he once told her. (Y/N) watched with hooded eyes as his own drowned in more lust than his pupils were already swimming in. Stiles licked his lips and the small action sent waves of desire straight to her pooling core.

(Y/N) was the first to break their trance as she brought her hand to the fancy flannel he was wearing for the date and began to unbutton it, she didn’t go as slow as Stiles did because she desperately wanted it off. The next thing she removed were his pants and they were finally in just their underwear together.

Stiles suddenly kneeled in front of her, surprising (Y/N) in the process, and pulled down her panties without saying anything. The second they were gone, the young man lifted one of her legs and hitched it over his shoulder. He looked up at her and placed tempting kisses on her stomach before licking her skin with his warm tongue, just like he’d promised earlier. Her body shuddered and she waited patiently as he trailed his tongue until it reached her core, already swiping up the slick folds. The small action alone made her hips twitch and she couldn’t control her moans when Stiles circled her swollen clit. He kept the motion going as he brought a finger up to tease her entrance. She whimpered of course and, the sound was so beautiful to him, he decided to give in. Stiles pushed two fingers inside of her, groaning at how tight she was, and gently pumped. It started out slow at first, but because of how responsive she was being as she moaned uncontrollably and her hips bucked continuously, Stiles decided to pick up his pace. (Y/N)’s eyes were shut as she concentrated on the pleasure and her core clenched around his fingers the second Stiles’ wrapped his lips around her nub and sucked furiously.

“F-Fuck, Stiles.” She moaned, knowing that her release was near. But, unfortunately for her, so did Stiles and he immediately pulled away.

Smirking up at the shocked glare he was receiving from her, Stiles licked her juices off of his lips and wiped his chin with the back of his hand. Normally, she would’ve been outraged to be denied of her orgasm but the way he looked right now took over her thoughts.

“I only want you cumming around my cock, tonight.” Stiles grinned, standing in front of her again and, before she could come up with a witty response, he yanked off his boxers. She was at a complete loss of words as she gawked at his delicious erection. The pulsing in her core increasing with unbelievable desire.

Stiles hitched her leg around his waist and positioned himself in front of her entrance, gazing into her eyes. Without breaking the contact, Stiles gently pushed his dick​ inside of her core and they both moaned at the new feeling. He desperately wanted to close his eyes, but wasn’t willing to take them off of hers as he thrusted. (Y/N)’s hands were settled on his back, the heel of her hitched leg digging into his ass to keep herself in place as one of his palms were flat out on the door and the other held her waist. The pleasure inside of her that was still around because Stiles was just eating her out tingled in (Y/N)’s body and, by the way she buzzed, she knew she’d be cumming soon.

Stiles increased his pace and the spring in her stomach coiled, indicating she was near. Her nails were digging into the skin of his back and Stiles would’ve winced if he wasn’t so turned on by how sexy she looked. Her eyes shut were and her head rested on the door as her unsteady breath let loud moans slip through. Stiles spread her legs more and began hitting her in a deeper and new angle, (Y/N)’s spring breaking as a result. Stiles immediately bit down on her shoulder, the feeling of her core clenching around him and her juices squirting on his cock too overwhelming.

But, he held onto his orgasm even though it was already knocking on the door. Stiles wanted this to last as long as possible and he actually managed to hold it. At this point, he was now pounding into her and (Y/N) whimpered at the extreme contact. Her body was still sensitive from releasing, but even though it was too much, she loved it.

Unclasping her bra, Stiles took it off and latched his lips onto her breast. His tongue flicking her nipple and caressing it. The second Stiles bit down on her perky bud and pulled, (Y/N) came for a second time tonight. And this time, Stiles allowed himself to as well. Her warmth clenched around him once again before his hips stuttered and he released hot cum inside of her, both moaning crazily. Their highs lasted longer than they’ve ever had and when the two were finally back in reality, Stiles stopped thrusting and placed a kiss on her lips.

“The way you annoy me every day drives me so fucking crazy, but you know what effects me more?” Stiles suddenly spoke up. “The way I smile at how you always put your milk in the bowl before your cereal or the way my heart beats faster whenever you laugh at something on your phone and time stops. But, most importantly, the way I feel like I’m flying everytime I’m around you.”

The words coming out of his mouth were making (Y/N)’s heart flutter so hard, she was sure it would eventually break her ribcage.

“Even though we bicker, I adore it because it reminds me of old married couples. And that’s exactly what I want us to be, a couple.” Stiles continued. “Because no matter how mad I get, I know that I’m deeply and irretrievably in love with you.”

“Stiles,” She smiled, looking at him with heart-eyes. “I love you, too.”

Stiles and (Y/N) have had countless fights in the time they’ve known each other. The two have shared millions of glares, angry shouts, eye-rolls, and fits of rage. But the thing was, they both loved each other in each and every one.

where marinette flirts
  • so alya told her to start flirting with adrien if she liked him so much, and the magazines give her step-by-step guides with 15 ~Chill~ Ways to Flirt With Your Crush Without Totally Embarrassing Yourself, so there’s no way this can go horribly wrong, right?
  • okay but marinette has to be realistic, when has anything ever gone right for her?
  • 1. like their instagram and watch their snapchat: okay but marinette already does this, she follows all of adrien’s social media and collects his takes from photoshoots and knows his schedule, and honestly, there’s really nothing he does that she doesn’t know about it? the whole point of watching his snapchat and liking his instagram would be for him to notice her, but it’s not like she can tell him that she does this, because that would be creepy right? but for the most part she thinks she has this part down pat. 
  • 2. make eye contact: and this one is damn near impossible. every time she looks at adrien, and he looks back, her heart turns into a puddle and she wants to melt. but okay, the magazine said to make eye contact, so that’s maintain eye contact, right? don’t look away as soon as he catches her looking. okay, she tells herself. i can do this.
  • adrien and marinette spend the rest of the week in multiple staring contests. alya and nino are extremely confused, but the game catches on, and soon the whole class spends Madame Bustier’s lectures in staring contests with the rest of their classmates. there’s a running scoreboard, and chloe and alya are surprisingly good at the game, which isn’t that surprisingly at all considering how many glare-showdowns they’ve had throughout the year. 
  • adrien just wants to beat marinette once, and how is it fair she’s so good at this??? marinette just wants to know why it’s not working; she hasn’t gone through dry eyes, blurry vision, and headaches for nothing. at this point, she’s read to pour Johnson’s No More Tears shampoo directly in her eyes to get them back to normal. 
  • 3. let your emojis do the talking: 🍆😛:eggplant: :yum:
  • alya sent it from marinette’s phone, and marinette is too busy dying to say anything about it. adrien still buys her eggplants for a month because he thinks they’re her favorite.
  • 4. wave and say “hi” when they walk by: marinette had to quit when her over-aggressive wave nailed nino in the nose and broke it. alya called him “raccoon eyes” for weeks. it didn’t matter though, adrien didn’t even wave back (though it might have been because his best friend was bleeding on the school steps). 
  • 5. invite your crush to hang out as a group: seems easy enough, right? she invites alya, nino, and adrien over for a study group at her house, but alya and nino cancel at the last minute to give her “some alone time with adrien”. only it doesn’t work out that way because she’s forced to actually learn physics when adrien notices she had some troubles with it and tutors her for the rest of the night. 
  • 6. say something simple, then keep the conversation going: marinette had trouble talking to adrien in the first place, so it was a miracle if she even got something simple out. adrien saves her the trouble anyway when he complicates her cat sweater, but it doesn’t go the way she imagined because it devolves into a heated argument over whether chat noir or ladybug was better, and oh my god, how could she be arguing with her crush over how much she sucked?
  • 7. remember what they tell you, and bring it up later: so adrien refuses to speak to her since she said ladybug sucked, and marinette is panicking internally 24/7. she makes him a hat to apologize because it’s summer and it’s blue, and when he asks her how she knew blue was his favorite color, she just smiles and tells him she read it in a magazine article. 
  • adrien looks touched either way while marinette wishes she could sink through the floor because she’d gone nearly a whole year without adrien knowing she read magazine articles about him. 
  • 8. give them a sincere compliment: 
  • adrien: “so what do we know about penguins already for this biology presentation?”
    marinette: “penguins are inefficient walkers…. they’re cute…. but not cuter than you.”
    adrien: “…thanks, marinette.”
  • adrien: “thanks, marinette. you’re so helpful.”
    marinette: “that’s me. i’m always helpful. i’ll always try to help you. you know, like… i’d totally hold a revolving door for you. i know that’s counterproductive, but you’re worth it.”
  • adrien: “god, they never get all the makeup off after a shoot.”
    marinette: “you know, i would really be okay with seeing you without makeup. that’s how much i like you.”
    adrien: “what?”
    marinette: “what?”
  • 9. casually touch their arm when you’re talking: marinette casually strokes adrien’s arm during their next study session.
    adrien: “… why are you touching my arm?”
    marinette: “i’m checking the seam work.”
    adrien: “….that’s my skin though.”
    marinette: “shh, don’t disrupt a designer at work.”
  • 10. offer them a fry: okay, but marinette doesn’t particularly like fries, so she figured she’d find another way to work this in. it happens one morning while she’s about to go to town on her croissant when she overhears adrien mentioning to nino that he’d forgot his breakfast, so she shoves the food in front of him and rushes away. alya can’t stop laughing at agreste’s startled expression when marinette shoved a croissant in his face without prompt. regardless, alya shares her own breakfast when marinette admits she didn’t have anything else to eat.
  • 11. give them something thoughtful: marinette buys adrien a ladybug-spotted scarf because she knows he likes the superhero. he protests when she gives it to him, but she just shrugs and said she owed him one anyway after dissing his favorite superhero before. 
  • the next day he gives her a matching chat noir one.
  • 12. tease them: she can barely keep a straight face when she teases adrien in front of nino and alya about always smelling like camembert. she even buys him three cheese wheels one day, but he only flushes darkly as he shoves them in his bag. she wants to apologize in case she hurt his feelings, but later that day, she notices that the cheese is gone. 
  • man, he must really like his cheese, she thinks in awe, and spends the rest of the day trying to figure out why adrien kept glaring at his bag during class. 
  • 13. steal their hat and put it on your head: adrien doesn’t wear hats, so she stole nino’s instead. adrien spent the rest of the day trying to set her up with his best friend. 
  • 14. ruffle their hair: marinette ruffles adrien’s hair when she walks into the classroom one morning. some strands end up tangled in her bracelet, and the two spend the remainder of class in the nurse’s office as she tries to cut them loose. 
  • 15. sit in their lap: marinette is a little hesitant to try this one, but alya ends up taking matters into her own hands and pushes marinette into adrien’s lap one day while the three of them and nino were visiting a cafe for lunch. marinette is flustered and apologizes profusely, and she finally finds the courage to look into his eyes. but instead of angry!agreste, she seems wide, shocked green eyes as adrien begins to laugh uncontrollably. marinette starts to giggle and shakes her head and it’s not until she looks at him again that she realizes… this whole situation seems really familiar…
  • “…chat noir?” she asks suddenly.
  • “what?” adrien asks. 
  • “what?” alya asks.
  • “what?” nino asks.
  • “oh my god,” marinette says and dies.

Needless to say, flirting was not her forte. But hey, she still got the man in the end, right? …. alright, it’s a work and progress, but still. 

“Prom was invented just to make girls starve so they can fit in a dress and compete over a stupid title.”

“Uh –” Derek blinks, eyes his sister dubiously, “I’m not a girl?”

Cora huffs. “Whatever.”

In the kitchen Laura bursts out laughing. “Don’t worry.” She yells. “Cora is just jealous she will have to wait five years to go to her own prom.”

“I’m not going!” Cora yells back. “Prom is stupid, I don’t even know why you’re going,” she tells Derek, “it’s not like you know how to have fun.”

Derek raises an eyebrow while Laura just laughs harder. “Oh my god.” Their older sister says. “I stay away for six months and Cora turns into a sassy queen.” She walks into the living room, pretends to wipe at her eyes. “I’m so proud.”

“You two are ridiculous.” Derek says, turning around. “And I’m just going because Erica promised to pay me. With ice cream.” Then he gives Cora a wicked smile. “That I’m not going to share with either of you.”

“You are the worst brother!” Cora yells as he begins to climb the stairs. “And I hope you fall on your ass while trying to dance!”

“Can’t hear you!” Derek’s cell begins to ring. “Too busy getting ready to prom!”

Laura lets out a high-pitched laughter. “I love you two so much.”

Derek shakes his head fondly, closes his bedroom door behind himself just as Cora tells Laura to shut up. “Hey.” He answers the phone, collapsing on his bed. “What’s up?”

“Yo,” Stiles answers, “whatcha doing?”

“Listening to my sisters fight.” He says, snorting when he hears his dad start complaining about all the yelling and ‘no, Cora, I’m not letting you go to prom, you’re thirteen!’. “I’m gonna have to check the trunk of my car tomorrow night.”

Stiles laughs. “She’s not that good.”

“If you keep teaching her, she will be.” Derek blurts out, curses himself mentally when he realizes it came out harsher than he intended.

It’s just – sometimes he can’t help it. He’s known Stiles since they were four, Cora wasn’t even born then, but one day she turned eleven and Stiles became her new favorite person. Stiles couldn’t find it funnier and took Cora as his little apprentice. He even taught her how to cheat on Mario Kart.

He’s never taught Derek that.

Derek rolls his eyes, thinks about his little sister still downstairs pouting and trying to convince their dad that she’s old enough to go out. He shouldn’t be jealous of her, but the thing is – he grew up with two sisters, he knows how to share toys and food, but he doesn’t know how to share Stiles.

Because Stiles is his.

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Punish me (Smut)
I did a thing. I figured it to be best if this was EXO member optional, since with this storyline you could end up with any EXO member really. God forgive me for I have sinned. 

Pairing: EXO member x Reader (You will have to choose one at a certain point, or read it nine times)

Genre: Smut

Edit: Apparently the first part can be classified under ‘humour’. My sister read this and she was laughing her ass off? I did not intend for this to happen but yeah… If it’s the same for you, enjoy.

Word count: 4670 words

Warning: Phone sex, Oral sex, explicit language.

Punish me:

“No, I’m not a free phone sex service!” I shout annoyed through my mobile and immediately cut the call, throwing my mobile onto the kitchen counter. Once, just once, I had been spotted in public with the members of EXO and that was the result; forty calls a day that begin with either “What are you wearing?” or “Tell me how wet you are”.

My mother is the fixed cleaning lady for the Exo dorm, but she broke her leg a few weeks ago. In agreement with SM, I replace her until she gets better. It is summer holiday and that way I don’t need to search for a summer job.

The guys from EXO are my age, so of course the relationship between EXO and me is different than the relationship my mom has with them. Whilst my mom is more a motherly figure, I am more of a friend. That’s why a few days ago, they asked me to go out for dinner with them.

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It’s Just a Nickname

“Phone, phone, where the CATS is my phone?” Adrien hissed to himself as he rummaged through his gym bag. Fencing had just let out and he needed to call Nathalie to let her know where he was—given how often he’d been disappearing lately, he wasn’t entirely surprised at how paranoid she’d become. But his phone was missing. Had he dropped it somewhere? Ugh, she was going to kill him.

“Looking for this?” said a familiar voice from behind him.

Adrien turned, and there—to his immense surprise—stood Alya Cesaire, dangling his phone precariously between two fingers.

He snatched it from her hand before she could drop it. “Merci a Dieu,” he breathed. “Where did you find it?”

Alya stared at him, then began to laugh. “FIND it?” she giggled. “You seriously still think you lost it?”

“What do you mean?”

Alya tossed her hair over her shoulder. “This is, like, the fourth time Marinette has left you an embarassing voicemail and had to steal your phone to delete it before you can hear it.”

Adrien nodded, sliding his phone into… wait, what?

Marinette?

She’d been leaving him voicemails?

Why would she be doing that? They weren’t that close, as far as he could tell. She was a friend, he supposed, but she barely acknowledged him, to the point of barely ever speaking to him even if she went out of her way to talk to everyone else in the class. Was she trying to prank him? If so, it was poorly executed, because he hadn’t noticed. And why keep stealing his phone? What was the point?

“What did the voicemail say?” he found himself asking.

Alya grinned and pointed at the phone. “You’ll just have to see for yourself, loverboy.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t you delete it?”

Alya shook her head. “Not this time,” she said. “Marinette was too busy screaming.”

Adrien raised an eyebrow. Screaming? What? Why would Marinette…

Oh. Oh no.

“So I’ve got a question for you…” Alya began, barely audible beneath the rushing pulse in Adrien’s ears. He opened his phone screen.

New Message From:

Oh, cats. Cat in a Camembert Trashcan.

“Why do you have Marinette’s number saved as ‘Princess’ on your phone?”

***

Me: I need to stop beginning new multi-chapter fanfics and focus on the ones I’m already writing

The dwarf who lives in my brain: Sounds like elf talk, my boy!

Taken for Granted (pt 3)

As Namjoon closed the door behind him, he stood by the entrance, snickering to himself. “Her? Liking me? Wahh” he said silently to himself. He wasn’t sure what it was he was feeling now, but he couldn’t stop smiling. “As if I’d like her?” he said again to himself.

“Hyung what are you doing by yourself there?” Jungkook asked curiously.

“Huh? Oh nothing” Namjoon said, flustered.


(One week later)

“Hey guys, Y/N isn’t coming today! Looks like it’s just us tonight” Jin said, filling his voice through the dorm.

“Awh, whyyy” Taehyung asked, coming out of the living room.

“She said she’s sick” Jin said with a frown.

“Let’s go there then! We can bring her food” Taehyung said, excitedly.

“Yah, if she’s sick she should just rest. She can’t be taking care of you guys too” Jin scolded.

Taehyung walked back to the living room with his head held down. He was looking forward to watching the movie you two had discussed a few weeks ago, but it looks like it would have to wait another week. 

Namjoon meanwhile, listened to everything silently from the dining table. “That’s weird, she never falls sick…” he said to himself. 

“What’s that? Couldn’t hear you” Hoseok said, sitting across from him,

“oh, no it’s nothing” Namjoon said.

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exo as the types of people you see at the gym

xiumin: 

• very serious about the gym

• has two drink bottles: protein shake in one and water in the other

• sweats very easily and a lot 

• everyone admires him, he’s a favourite at the gym

• makes burpees look easy

• coaches others sometimes

CrossFitter

suho: 

• wears the top brands of sportswear

• squats for days

• gives encouragement to everyone around him

• starts a conversation each time he’s on the treadmill with the person next to him

• tried lifting more than he was capable to, got stuck under the bar. Very embarrassed when two other people had to help him out.

• enjoys the steam room

• muscles are always very sore the next day (always overdoes it)

yixing: 

• forgot his earphones 

• forgot his towels

• helps spot for other people

• irritated when people don’t put the equipment back in its original place

• assists the new gym members in using the equipment

• cleans up the area he used to its original appearance before leaving

checks himself out in the change room mirror

chanyeol:

• tank top, shorts + 1L water bottle

• focuses more on weights than anything else

• forgets leg day

• hogs the weights by exercising in front of the weight rack

• dropped a dumbbell on his foot

• grunts + yells when lifting weights or doing pull ups

• does bicep curls in front of a mirror. Counts out loud

baekhyun: 

• reluctant to come to the gym

• but he doesn’t want to waste his gym membership that he spent money on

• places a muffin in the water bottle holder on the running machines

• spends more time on his phone whilst he hogs a machine

• social butterfly

• uses equipment, doesn’t put it back properly

• once he breaks a sweat, he’s done. Flexes and takes a photo for instagram before he leaves. #sunsoutgunsout  #nopainnogain #newyearnewme

chen:

• arrives to the gym with his squad

• multiple workout playlists ready on his phone that’s on his armband

• sings as he workouts 

• makes pull ups look easy

• starts dancing on the treadmill sometimes

• fell once when he accidentally increased the speed of the treadmill too much

• takes a picture with his friends before leaving the gym #squadgoals

kyungsoo:

• does his own thing, very quiet and minds his own business

• shy about his body, wears long sleeved t shirts plus trackies

• overheats when working out. Takes many breaks to cool down

• prefers pilates + yoga

• interested in trying new equipment/machines. Too shy to ask how

• gets flustered when people compliment him and gives him encouragements

• thanks all the trainers before leaving

kai:

• “can my dogs come into the gym? it’s hot outside”

• shows up wearing jeans???

• attends many zumba classes

• became an assistant coach for his zumba classes

• lays down for a rest between each workout. falls asleep sometimes

• most of his exercise comes from walking/running with his dogs to the gym 

• “I exercised today, I will treat myself”. Eats 30 chicken nuggets at KFC

sehun:

• didn’t come at his own will, he accompanies his friends as a gym buddy

• distracts his friends by mocking them and taking selfies with them for his snapchat/instagram story

• plays with the equipment/machines since he doesn’t know how to use them

• secretly judges everyone at the gym. checks out the girls though

• brought snacks to eat 

• on his phone for most of the time, occasionally gives encouragement to his buddies

• banned from two gyms in town already

NHL!Bitty, Part IX - ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships’

(Alright, you guys voted for #2, so enjoy!)

Eric gets hit on in a hotel bar during All-Star weekend. For the first time in a long time, it’s not because he’s a famous hockey player.

It would be very flattering, except the man trying to seduce him works for Jack’s PR firm, and bro is playing fast and loose with some seriously confidential information. 

NHL!Bitty Masterpost!


It’s been a long, exhausting day. Between the flight, check-in, the press junket, the photo ops, all Eric wants is to get a little bit drunk with the guys, grab some dinner, and fool around in Jack’s hotel room. Hopefully in that order, but he’s open to fooling around whenever.

He must have a dopey smile on his face thinking about the debauchery he’s been looking forward to all week when he realizes someone is watching him from across the bar. 

Tall, nice hair, professional, and he’s looking at Eric, no, at the empty chair next to him. And he’s walking over. 

“Is this seat taken?”

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dating Jungkook [realistically]

Originally posted by jengkook

important disclaimer: please remember that everything I wrote down is my own personal opinion. I do not know Jungkook personally, nor his past relationship experiences, so this is based on my imagination of ‘’realistic’’ only and on how it could be like dating him. If you’re not open to stuff like this, please don’t read.

taehyung l yoongi l jimin l hoseok l seokjin l namjoon

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Lowest of Lows | Steve Harrington

Summary; Steve Harrington is a sweetheart (as per usual) after the events in Season 2. Minor spoilers.

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

A/N; Yes, another Henderson!Reader Steve fic…I love the idea what can I say 🤷‍♀️… I’ll mix it up soon but for this idea it had to be done.

The fact that your cat, Mews died, didn’t really set in until a week following the events in the Upsidedown. You were still on edge, constantly in fear that things weren’t actually over. That Will wasn’t actually okay, and that he, or any of you really, could be taken at any second.

In your head there were much more important things to worry about.

When your mom got the cat a few years back you were sceptical to say the least. She got him as a coping mechanism for your dad leaving, at least that’s what you thought.

You weren’t big on animals, cats especially. You contemplated pretending that you were allergic, but your mom needed it.

Eventually the little fur ball wormed his way into your heart. You did have one, afterall, and he was freaking adorable. Your only complaint was the ample amounts of orange fur that you would always find all over your black clothes.

The loss of your feline friend didn’t even really take its toll on you, until all of a sudden on Friday night you were struggling to breathe from sobbing so hard.

Your nose was raw from rubbing it, and your eyes were practically swollen shut. To conclude; you were an utter mess.

Luckily for you, you were home alone. Dustin was sleeping over at Mike’s with the boys, and your mother was off doing who knows what. The fact that you didn’t have Mews to cuddle up to when you got lonely really took its tole.

Steve knew you were home alone, and from experience he knew how lonely it got. He wanted to provide company for you, even if it was just in the form of a phone call.

You, however, were too busy sobbing to pick up the phone. And that worried Steve. His mind couldn’t help but go back to the previous weeks and the danger that everyone was in. You especially.

So he did what any concerned friend would do, at least that’s what Steve told his self, and drove over to your house.

By the time he got there it was past 10 and pitch black out side. You were probably just asleep. He tried to reassure himself. Yet he hopped out of his BMW anyways and knocked on your door.

When you didn’t respond after a few seconds Steve decided to knock again, putting his ear against the door to listen in. He could hear your sobs and hiccups. Relief filled the man. At least he knew you were alive now, granted you were crying which still wasn’t the ideal circumstance.

“Y/N/N? Is everything okay in there?” He questioned from the other side of the door, his hand gripping the brass doornob tightly.

“Steve?” You questioned softly, not believing your ears. You were probably dehydrated from all of the crying. There was no way in hell Steve would drive all the way to your house just ‘cause you didn’t pick up the phone.

“Yeah, it’s me. Could you let me in?”

“Just go home, Steve. I’m okay. I’ll be okay.” You responded, pulling the fluffy blanket tighter under your chin.

“Now that doesn’t sound like a very good idea at all. I can’t leave when my best girl is down.” Steve grinned.

Even though you couldn’t see Steve’s face, you could imagine his expression. His eyes were probably soft as he watched the door for movement, a sympathetic smile painted on his lips.

“If you don’t answer the door I’ll find another way in. I’m a ninja, remember? I could do it.” He warned, taking a few steps back from the door.

“Have it your way.” He mumbled softly to himself, ready to kick the door down if necessary.

You stood up slowly, a small smile finding its way onto your lips at the theatric boy’s antics. Leave it to Steve Harrington to cheer you up in less then 200 words. Even in your lowest state.

You wiped your raw nose with a discarded tissue and threw it into the trash can, dragging the blanket behind you like a cape. Hesitantly you placed your hand on the door nob, unlocking the door slowly.

You pulled the door wide open to reveal Steve Harrington, looking a bit disheveled but of course still handsome. Even after his face was bashed in by Billy Hargrove he managed to look handsome.

“Were you about to try and kick down the door?” You questioned in disbelief, staring at the sheepish boy with wide eyes.

“I-I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He replied with a light blush. “And obviously you aren’t. What the hell happened to you?”

You scoffed. “Way to kick a girl when she’s down.” You walked back into the livingroom, plopping yourself back down onto the brown loveseat.

Steve followed closely behind, taking the seat by your side. “You know that’s not what I meant. You could have two black eyes and be missing your front teeth and I’d still find you fucking gorgeous.” Steve reassured, linking your hand with his.

“You’re gonna think it’s stupid.” You pouted, disconnecting your hands.

“Nothing that has you this worked up is stupid.” He reassured, placing a gentle hand on your cheek.

“Mews is dead.” Your eyes watered just thinking about it so you closed them, hoping to stop anymore tears from falling.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Steve whispered, pulling you into his chest.

You gripped his blue shirt tightly between your fists, trying to hold your sobs in. “I miss him so much.” You cried shakily.

“I know you do.” Steve ran his fingers through your messy hair. “It’ll get better. I promise.”


The next morning you were even more exhausted. Steve had left a few hours after your miniature breakdown. Your eyes were practically swollen shut, and your voice was almost gone.

When you left your bedroom you were greeted by the smell of pancakes, which admittedly made your stomach turn a bit. Your mother was an awful chef.

“Woah, you look like shit.” Dustin yelled, scaring you slightly. You hadn’t even known he was home yet. How late was it?

“Gee thanks.” You smiled sarcastically, flipping the boy off and walking in the other direction.

“I’m just being honest.” He shrugged as if he didn’t do anything wrong.

“Screw you, asshat.” You yelled back in response, slamming the bathroom door shut. You could use a hot shower for sure.

You were snapped out of your hot-water induced haze by your mom screaming your name. “Y/N/N! You have a visitor!”

“I’ll be right out mom!”

When you imerged from your bedroom, fully dressed in the most comfy pajamas you owned, you were met with your mother and brother crowded around Steve Harrington on the couch.

“I thought you said I had a visitor.” You questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t be jealous sweet cheeks, Dustin and your mom were just keeping me company while I waited.

You grinned at the brunette boy, ignoring your brothers groan in disgust. “Gross.”

“Oh, this one is a keeper, Y/N/N.” Your mom declared dreamily. You know that she knew you weren’t dating.

“I keep trying the tell her that.” Steve winked at your mom.

“For Christs sake, I’m sitting right here!” Dusting gagged, “Screw this.” He sighed, hoping up from his spot on the couch and running off to his bedroom.

You rolled your eyes at the boys antics. Your mother followed behind him except she went off back into the kitchen. Something about meatloaf (which you hated).

“Why don’t you come take a seat.” Steve grinned, patting the seat next to him softly.

You didn’t trust it at all. “What the hell is going on?”

You noticed that Steve was blocking something from your view as you sat down. He looked up at you with soft eyes and an even softer smile. One thing was for sure. He looked proud as hell of himself (though what was new).

“Close your eyes.”

You hesitantly agreed, tensing when you felt something light being placed into your lap.

“Okay, open them.”

Your gaze was met with that of the cutest kitten you had ever seen in your entire life. He was small enough to hold in one hand and had a soft black coat.

Yours began to water as you looked up at Steve. He had a pink blush on his cheeks and was watching you wide wide eyes.

“You-you did this for me?” You questioned shakily, a tear falling from your eye onto your cheek.

Steve nodded, reaching over to pet the kitten on his little head. “His name is Dart.” Steve winked.

“Dark.” You laughed, petting the tiny animal’s cheek.

“Do you-do you like him?” Steve asked you in a small voice.

“I love him Steve. Seriously. This is the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me. Thank you.” You smiled, leaning over to embrace the man. He held you tight against his chest, neither of you wanting to let go.

You placed a soft peck of thanks on his cheek once you pulled away. You smiled at how warm the skin was from all of his blushing.

“I think you missed.” Was all Steve said as he leaned in again, this time tilting his head so he could properly lay his lips over yours.

food truck au 1/??

(inspired by my earlier post)

Anyone who knew Jack Zimmermann would laugh at the idea of him even being able to remember the login for his Twitter account.

No one, not even his parents, would ever suspect that he checked his feed every single morning.

Jack didn’t care much for social media; he was too private a person to ever want the world to know where he was or what he was eating at any given moment. In fact, he only followed three accounts: his mother’s, the official Falconers’, and that of Li’l Dicky’s Southern Comforts. The latter was the only one he actually cared about.

See, Jack Zimmermann had a deep, dark secret – he was in love with the mini apple pies that were sold daily at Li’l Dicky’s. It was the only dessert he ever indulged in on a regular basis, and said indulgences were a secret he would take to his grave.

Every morning, Li’l Dicky’s posted their location for the day. Jack knew the general schedule by heart at this point, but some days the truck switched things up, due to weather or construction or event catering, and Twitter was the only way for Jack to know if he would be able to get his apple pie fix.

It didn’t hurt that Eric Bittle, the owner of Li’l Dicky’s, smiled at Jack like the sun shined out of his ass every time he came by. But really, it was the pies Jack couldn’t enough of. Mostly. Probably.

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“Thanks, Maggie. Love you,” Dex says, and Nursey’s heart stops beating for a moment. His lungs refuse to inhale or exhale. The muscles in his legs forget that they are holding up an actual person.

Then Dex’s eyes catch his, going wide at the interruption, and Nursey somehow finds it in himself to pretend that everything is exactly the same now as it was thirty seconds ago.

He looks away and heads for the fridge, his limbs remembering themselves once more.

“Hey, uh, sorry, I gotta go. Can I call you back?” Dex says into his cell phone on the other side of the Haus kitchen.

Nursey rummages through several pounds of butter in search of something edible. He silently repeats to himself his old mantra from Andover, from when he could barely see straight for the tears welling up in his eyes at every backhanded remark or micro-aggression. The mantra he used to train his emotions not to show themselves at every turn, the way they had done with abandon throughout his childhood.

“Write it down instead,” his sister suggested, when he confided to her his inability to keep things bottled up. And, after a time, that strategy seemed to work.

Write it down instead, he still tells himself now, at the end of his Sophomore year at Samwell, whenever the world becomes too much, whenever he feels suddenly as though his façade of always okay always fine always chill isn’t strong enough to handle the current situation.

Nursey begins to silently run through the words again in his head now, trying very hard not to analyze why he needs to.

“Um, so. How much of that did you hear?” Dex asks him, and luckily Nursey’s got his head buried so far into the freezer that he doesn’t have to cover his pained grimace.

“Not much, man, don’t worry about it. Hey, you think Bitty would murder us if we used his new oven for store-brand taquitos?”

He barely hears Dex’s reply, though, too busy faking normalcy. Too busy wondering who it was on the other end of Dex’s phone call that got to hear the words “I love you” from the guy, and so casually offered up that Dex must say it to her daily.

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The First Time With Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by jengkook

Genre : Fluff, romance,comedy,implicit language,sexual innuendos
Pairing:Jungkook x reader
Length: 29K words
Summary : This is a series based on all of your first times with jungkook, from your childhood till adulthood

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7

PART 8


Tell me your thoughts in the comments and ask box :)



THE FIRST TIME YOU CONFESSED TO EACH OTHER

2 days ago, Lusty&Nancy Bar, L.A, 00:42 AM

The scent of alcohol and smoke was heavy as Jungkook was drinking his last shot of martini before collapsing on her lap. She chuckled as she ran her soft fingers through his raven hair. Those majestic looking lips, that gorgeous nose and long lashes, could drive any girl insane at his sight, but only one girl could drive the latter over the edge. He untied his tie as he dropped it on the cold ground before making himself at home, sleeping on her lap. Jungkook was never completely drunk, but had this tendency to collapse at random moments and wake up randomly just to take off his clothes. He sniffled a few times before grabbing onto the soft hand that was caressing his ears.

“I missed you….” he murmured half coherently “…Y/N”

The girl’s face fell into a scowl as she heard your name coming out of his beautiful lips, one more time. Every time, it would be the same story. He would hit her up, they would talk for a few hours and he would end up drunk, sleeping on her lap. Who was she? His business partner Park Sooyoung. Tall, brunette, pretty and a bright future ahead of her. She made heads turn by her presence only. Being a year older than Jungkook, she often talked informally to him even if he was her superior. She never had any feelings towards the boy, but she couldn’t help but feel irritated every time he mentioned your unknown name before casually sleeping on her lap.

“Y/N… I really wonder who she is, for turning him into a mess” she sighed

“Sooyoung-ssi” Jungkook’s eyes suddenly sprung open “Do you think she still remembers me?” he unbuttons the first buttons of his dress shirt “Sometimes, I keep on wondering… if she actually cares about me?”

“Jungkook, I would like to give you an answer but—“

“It’s Mr. Jeon for you” he pointed at her before erupting in a fit of giggles “We’re still workmates remember?”

“Right… only workmates” she clenched her fist

“Mr. Jeon sounds like a sexier title as well. Right? How about Director Jeon?” he ran a hand through his hair before crouching his shoulders “That’s supposed to be my future title…” he grabbed her hand in his “Do you think I can do this?”

“I think the question should be: Do you want to do this?” she replied in a heartbroken tone

“You are right…” he laid his head back on her lap “What do I even want?” he laid the back of his hand on his forehead “I just want to go back home” he felt a tear slipping from his eyes

“Should I bring you back home?” Sooyoung smiled at him

The word home had a different meaning in Sooyoung’s suggestive context

….

Today, Dorms at Seoul University, 12:32 PM

You were sipping on your lemon tea as it was the start of a new semester in your area. You and your friends were about to have a blast for the last remaining weeks of summer before tackling another stressful term. It might’ve been your second year at Seoul University, but you never felt more than welcomed whenever stopping by campus. You’d usually go back home during the summers and get back to the dorms during the school year, but this year it was quite different, as you had to get back to the dorm earlier. Something about a change of roommates was occurring in your department. The dean’s daughter made a fuss about wanting to change rooms so they had to rearrange the rooms. Knowing that you were the only scholarship student in the residence building, they chose to make you move out to make more space for the new tenant.

“That little brat, I swear to god, she’s so spoiled and idiot” Jimin groaned as he watched you pack your belongings

“Don’t say that, Jimin” you nudged his arm “I mean, she does have a right to do this. She’s still the dean’s, one and only daughter.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that her IQ is lower than Hoseok’s grades. I despise people of her type the most”

“Why do you hate on her so much?”

“Because she ruined your summer! You had to get on a 3 hours train ride to pick up your stuff Y/N. Why can’t you realize that she’s an annoying brat? She purposely made you move your ass from your vacation break to come in town.”

“She probably didn’t mean it that way! I actually decided to drop by in advance, so stop it” you patted his arm

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you need to leave your room” Jimin rubbed his temples “Damn you, stupid Park Chaeyoung”

“I always thought she had something for you though…” you raised a brow at him “Like a tiny crush?” you winked

“W-What?! Whoah, that’s the best joke I’ve heard in a century” Jimin flushed a slight tint of red “Girls like her are what I want to avoid the most.” He scoffed “In the last two years I’ve lived on campus, I never saw a girl as whiny and as spoiled as her. Do you realize that her majesty has a personal slave that holds her goddamn haute couture Gucci bag? Even Taehyung who owns the whole Gucci collection doesn’t do that kind of shit”

“But still, she asked nicely” you replied “It’s her last year before leaving for Ireland. That’s the least I can do to help her, as a student”

“That’s the problem with you Y/N” Jimin pointed at you “You’re way too f*cking nice to be real.”

“Come on, it’s just a room” you rolled your eyes

“You’re moving to the science department dorms! Do you realize how creepy most of these guys are?”

“I always thought they were brilliant though “you grabbed your clothes “Namjoon Sunbae is such a cutie. He was the best T.A I ever had in my years here”

“Namjoon is an exception, I’m talking about the weird guys who are in the engineering department. They always become weird as f*ck around finals.” Jimin sighed “They apparently become crazy because of their work load. Take Yuta for example! He didn’t even last a semester in there! He gave up halfway and changed programs” He sighed “These poor beings.”

“Oh, are you talking about those weird rumors of them being perverts? The boys who are taking engineering at Seoul U, are cute though, well that’s what I always thought” you commented “They’re not crazy”

“Okay yes, they seem all normal, but that’s because you’re a girl. They won’t show you their real nature” Jimin pressed his back on the wall

“What about you? Mr. Psychology. Stop digging too far inside my brain with your manipulative talks” you stared at him

“What are you talking about?”

“Why are you so concerned about me, talking to the boys in engineering?” you raised a suspicious brow “Is it Jungkook who told you to look out for me, again?”

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