Okay okay I really want a fic where like… (and I know this set-up has been done like…a thousand times but…) Bitty works for the Falconers in like social media or something…and part of his job is handling the official Falconers’ Twitter.
And Jack has never paid attention to twitter or any of that before, right? But he keeps hearing the guys in the locker room laughing their asses off, because Bitty is savage. His dry humour and snark is just on point and he’s developing this amazing reputation. Like they go on a roadie and Jack overhears some of the other team actually complimenting his teammates on their PR guy’s skills??
So he shows up at Ransom’s door when they get back and hands over his phone and he’s like…Show me how to twitter.
So Ransom and Holster set Jack up with a twitter, and post something absurd like, ‘Finally joining the rest of humanity, only a decade behind’ or something.
And Bitty responds–not by tweet, like everyone expects, but by leaving Jack a pie in his stall. And it’s amazing. And Jack is just like who IS this guy? So he finds Bitty to thank him and wow he’s so cute and funny and that accent…
Anyway Jack doesn’t have time to have ridiculous crushes on little Georgia rays of sunshine (the most he allows is peeking at Twitter–and wow yeah it’s pretty funny. When Bitty destroyed Parse in the last tweet war, Jack was laughing so hard he was crying and even had to call Parse like, “wow Kent. Wow.” “shut up, Zimms. I was off my game.”)
So during this time, people start to take notice of Jack. And most of the fans are excited he’s on social media, but there are some Terrible ™ people who say bad things and at first Jack has a hard time because part of his coping had been to stay away from all this. But he wants to try. So he ends up in Bitty’s office like, “Can you teach me your ways.”
And Bitty is like, “come, young padawan…” Jack doesn’t get the reference and Bitty sighs for like a million years and adds on pop culture from 2001+ to his list of things he has to teach Jack.
Jack and Bitty meet up whenever he’s got spare time after practise, and sometimes for dinner after home games…and okay maybe Jack’s crush is getting worse, and the guys are relentless in their chirping because Jack “Heart Eyes” Zimmermann thinks he’s not obvious but He Is ™. But it’s all in good fun.
He realises his crush isn’t going away any time soon, but he’s not sure he can do anything about it. One day though some a-hole on twitter who thinks he’s a Jack Zimmermann expert because he has google access to his wiki, starts coming at him.
And before this, Jack would usually shut down or defer to Bitty. But he’s just so tired. So he starts giving the most dry, most sarcastic, Dead Sea Salty responses. And by the end of the night the guy has talked himself into a corner and Twitter is losing their minds because is this seriously Jack Zimmermann?
And Jack is just like, I had a great Twitter Master.
Bitty sees it, of course, and bursts into the locker room and throws himself at Jack and they make out because well, how can they help it? The guys all yell and chirp and Bitty promises to bake them all many pies if they leave Jack alone about it.
They don’t, of course. But they get pies anyway.