text starters from my phone
(most of these I dug into the archives of FB messages from college years)
[text] Have fun tonight!!!
[text] I’m about to get my hair dyed purple
[text] Impromptu tattoos anyone?
[text] I was thinking in person cause I don’t want to half ass apologize through text
[text] Oh my god. I’m so sorry.
[text] Are you there?
[text] I will never say no to pizza
[text] I have a big [lesbian/gay] crush on _______ and I have no idea why
[text] I am going to fill in my eyebrows and get the fuck out of here for a while. Fuck this
[text] I don’t know why you think you have to explain yourself when it’s pretty clear what went down.
[text] I made it worse, I’m so sorry
[text] I fucked up and wasn’t thinking of your feelings.
[text] I can’t wait to see you.
[text] I am unbelievably angry at you right now
[text] I need coffee or weed or sleep, not sure which one
[text] I drunk texted _______ last night
[text] I get it. i’ve kind of been sort of cold, distant, and extremely ambiguous.
[text] No worries. I figured you were just crazy busy.
[text] So are we ever going to have sex again
[text] I guess I’ll fuck [hm/her/them].
[text] It wasn’t fair for me to get so mad.
[text] I’m so pissed off I could punch someone
[text] Don’t punch anyone, talk to me instead.
[text] If you kept kissing me like that I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself
[text] Are you and _______ official yet?
[text] I was just trying to do this right but not going to push anything.
[text] thinking of you makes me awake cause my heart beats more and other romantic stuff
[text] It’s clear I was interested in you much more than you were in me
[text] I hate being happy and having crushes
[text] i wanted to be with you for a while but we were separated by a lot of stuff
[text] If you’re going to tell me I’m awesome one day and then ignore me the next I really don’t need that
[text] I honestly want to know how many jars of peanut butter I singlehandedly ate this year
[text] I’m like half functional adult half total trainwreck
[text] My first engaged ex - “ex” used very loosely
[text] I love being your neo-feminist best friend
[text] A picture of us popped up in my Timehop a couple of days ago and it made me think of you and how you were doing.
[text] If i became homeless, I’d be totally cool with living on the beach
[text] I BARELY DRANK IN COLLEGE. I BARELY DRINK NOW. CAN WE MOVE ON PLEASE
[text] We’ll probably have some quick drinks and then hit up a club
[text] I am drunk and feel like a purple moon fairy
[text] You’re just in total denial of your feelings and need to grow up
[text] I’m totes going to kick your ass.
[text] I got my period PRAISE THE LORD
[text] They have been talking about meatballs for 30 minutes #ItalianFamilyProblems
[text] I woke up in a relationship and I am going to sleep single tonight.
[text] I may or may not have done something really bad.
[text] I always drop everything for you and you never, ever do the same.
[text] Breathe. I’m sure it will be fine.
[text] Young adjunct professor just asked me out for drinks…do you think he means like, lattes-drinks or DRANKS?
[text] BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY
[text] I used think [he/she] was creepy as hell but now [he/she] is hot AF.
[text] Last night I went on a date with a fireman and he took me to his firehouse and I sat in the firetruck.
[text] I had a long vivid dream last night that was literally just about holding a baby.