hes getting angry i guess


Johndave week - Day 4: Hurt/Comfort

Haha shit I’m late?? I haven’t done comics in literal years soooo. Yeah, this is something I think about in terms of John quite a lot. I can’t help but think it might bug him a lot now and then, even if he fixed a timeline, and when confronted he might lash out. Also, bonus pic;

secret notes

For @snowbaz-feda day 24. Do I come up with all my ideas for fics by taking a random meme and turning it into a spell? Absolutely.

It’s fine. This is absolutely fine. No big deal.

It’s just a crush. A stupid, meaningless crush, and it’s just because he’s attractive, it’s not like I have real feelings for him (not really, well, I do think about him a lot, don’t I?) and it’s not like I actually want to be with him or anything (but only because I know it’s impossible) and besides, Baz never has to know.

I’m going to write him a note. Like a little schoolboy with a crush. I’m not going to sign it – obviously – I just want to say something to him. I know that he’s cold and distant and will probably sneer at my note and make fun of the sender, but it makes me wonder why he’s like that. Why he can’t express any emotion other than sadistic amusement (and I know he feels other things, because he cares about his family, and he gets angry at me. You don’t get angry if you don’t care.).

I guess I just need him to know that he is loved.

(I mean. I don’t love him. Obviously. It’s just a crush.)

I ask Penny for a spell to disguise my handwriting. She gives me a knowing look (I haven’t told her anything but she’s my best friend and she’s too smart not to know) and casts it on me. Quickly, before the spell wears off, I grab a spare piece of paper and write:

I think about kissing you all the time.

I fold the note in half and stuff it in my pocket.

I know it’s dumb. I just wanted to be able to tell him that. Even though he’ll never know it was me.

Keep reading


what hte fukc do you mean shepard hooked their bff tol bird up with someone instead of spending quality time with him ???

Imagine finding out why Barba never smiles around you

Imagine finding out why Barba never smiles around you

“Shh” you ordered putting your finger up to mute the suspect on the opposite side of the table.

Your eyes remained fixated on your phone screen. This was tough level. You kept on getting caught by the flying ninja stars. The ringtone that indicated that you had failed rang out and sighed audibly.

“Why aren’t you asking me questions?” the suspect probed.

“Don’t want to.” you retorted restarting the level after losing for the umpteenth time.

“But shouldn’t you?” he questioned.

“Not really.” you sighed still not looking up, “It’s not like I’m a cop or anything.”

“Than who are you?” he asked.

“I’m more of a consultant, really.” you lied doing a quick swipe of your screen in hopes of winning.

“Then where’s the detective?” he questioned once again.

“Probably dealing with another case. Detectives usually have more than one open at any one time. To be honest I have a feeling they usually work more on the case they find the most interesting and leave the boring ones till later.” you suggested.

“So am a suspect in a boring case?” he asked mostly to himself.

“Must be.” you stated yawning.

“I thought I was a suspect on triple homicide? Isn’t that interesting enough? It was on the front page yesterday.” he questioned starting to get annoyed and slightly shaky.

“Yeah yesterday. They’ve moved on. And anyway strangulation? Please, it’s just so typical. You see it everyday round here.” you said offhandedly.

“But it takes so much time. You must be really sick to squeeze the life out of someone and watch.” he explained as if he was reliving it.

“I see where you’re coming from.” you began casually, “But say if the Satanic Cult round the corner had a mass suicide. It kind of gets undermined. You know?”

“I guess so.” he muttered angry.

“But…” you interrupted suddenly.

“But what?” he asked suddenly eager.

“But,” you started switching off your phone and leaning over the table, “ If you were say you were willing to confess because I overheard one of the detectives say they’ve got you dead to rights. You have to get ahead of the story.”

“How’d I do that?” he asked practically jumping out of his seat in excitement.

“You gotta confess but make sure before you do you ask one of the detectives’ ‘leak’ to the press. So you may be in jail but everyone will want a piece of you. And wait till arraignment. Their will be so many reporters and photographers they’ll have security. Yeah, you might be in prison but you’ll get a lesser sentence. And imagine all the television producers who’ll want you to tell your story on TV. The whole country… no the whole world will know who you are. You’ll be famous.” you explained leading him on.
“You think so?” he questioned excitedly.

“I know so. Think of BTK. Do you really think he ‘accidentally’ sent that package that lead the police    to him? No. He was tired of no one knowing he was. No one acknowledging his work. Now look. Everyone knows who is. Don’t you want everyone to know who you are?” you explained further eyeing him up.

“Yeah.” he breathed.

“Well then I would confess. Give the cops very single detail. Everyone will know your name. But…” you sighed strategically.

“But what?” he asked suddenly worried.

“It’s just a suggestion. You know. It’s for the greats and anyway you say you didn’t do it. So what can you do?” you commented shrugging your shoulders.

“I want to confess.” he whispered.

“What?” you prompted.

“I want to confess. To everything.” he stated excited.

“I’ll go see if I can track down detective Rollins.” you said triumphantly walking out the door.

You walked out the door, shutting it behind you. You saw Barba standing by the glass, he’d clearly been watching.

“That was impressive considering you spent half the time on your phone.” he commented as you sidled up to him.

“What can I say? I’m a psychiatric genius.” you winked.

“How did you know that would work?” he asked crossing his arms clearly curious.

“The guy’s a grade A narcissist. Deprive him of attention for awhile he’ll be desperate to get some. He’ll do anything. It also helps when they’ve got an IQ below 70.” you explained.

‘Nice work.” he congratulated quickly.

‘Ah come on Barbs. I just sealed the deal on a slam dunk case and all you give me is a ‘nice work’?” you questioned jokingly annoyed.

“What would you like me to do?” he asked humouring you.

“I don’t know. Say how lucky you are to be graced with access to my intelligence. Thank god for knowing me. Something.” you badgered.

He flashed you a confused look.

“A smile would suffice.” you mentioned.

He flashed you a crooked forced half smile.

“My god, stop. I can hear the children crying from here. Honestly Barbara. I dragged myself all the way down here from the FBI building to help you close this to be honest boring case and you can’t even give me a smile.” you complained half heartedly.

“You found this case boring?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well in comparison to the other cases I had today.” you explained.

“What were they?” questioned.

“Let’s just say a major case of ‘I see dead people’.” You explained with accompanying over- exaggerating hand gestures.

He gave you a small chuckle before saying he had to go back to his office. You watched him leave. he passed by Sonny who was walking up to you.

“Where’s he going?” Sonny asked when he reached you.

“Back to his miserable little cave in hell, probably.” you joked.

“Really. He looked happy to me.” he commented.

“Huh?” you questioned.

“He had a massive smile on his face.” Sonny explained.

“A smile? I didn’t this his facial muscles could move that way.” you shuddered.

“Oh yeah. He’s always smiling after he talks to you.” he mentioned.

“Really?” you asked skeptical.

“Yeah. You can identify Barba’s just had a conversation with Dr Y/N Y/L/N smile. From a mile away.” Sonny said.

“You sure Clariece?” you asked once agin still skeptical.

“Oh yeah. I think he has a crush on you.” he smirked.

“A crush?”

“Oh yeah. He definitely likes you. You’re the only person who makes him smile.” Sonny informed you.

“Since when?” you questioned shocked by the information.

“Since you guys met. Before you came around he was hardass. He soften up since you got here. Not by much but you can definitely tell when you are around.” he explained further.

You quickly thought back to when you met Barba. He’d accompanied Liv to meet you at one of your speeches. They were dealing with particularly perplexing case a few months back. They couldn’t decide if the guy they had was actually crazy or just faking it. Liv had called Dr Huang and he’d recommend you. You were essentially his predecessor at the New York office of the FBI. You were a well-known psychiatrist before you joined the FBI. They poached you after you published a series of well regarded papers of your theory of Individualism.

You had assumed that he would have warmed them before coming to meet you that you were slightly unconventional, off beat you could say. You weren’t like most shrinks. You were’t calm and direct. You were eccentric. You adapted to whoever the person you were talking to needed in order for them to communicate. It’s hard to explain really. Most people who encountered you usually called you childish despite your clear intelligence and effectiveness.

You don’t really know why you were like this. Well you do really. You didn’t get much childhood when you should have. You had to mature quickly which you believe started your fascination with psychiatry. You were fascinated by the human brain and how that determined how you acted.

You went into behavioural psychiatry. You wanted to know why people did things. To see a person individual reasoning behind their own actions.

You were already began working with the FBI when you first met. You had just finished giving your speech at Columbia university about your theory when they introduced themselves. You were excited at the prospect when they asked you. You assume you had impressed as well as scared them on your first case with as they kept calling you back. Soon you’d have a situation similar to Dr Huang’s when he was here.

The more you worked with SVU you think they realised how unconventional in their words ironically ‘crazy’ you were.

“Give me an example?” you demanded.

“Well you know that time you convinced that girl after her friend died to tell you what she know by playing the guitar and signing. He had to step out the room because he couldn’t contain his laughter.” he chuckled.

“Really?” you prompted.

“Oh yeah. You know that time you came in dressed as Princess Belle to talk to that six year old witness. And then after you were signing…what was it?” he continued.

“Barbra and Clariece.” you singsonged.

“Yeah I swear I saw him giggle. And that time you found that satanic leader by screaming ‘Jesus loves you’ around Grand Central Station and the had a full blown argument with the guy about Lucifer versus Jesus. He was laughing down the wire you just couldn’t hear.” Sonny chuckled.

“I never knew.” you breathed.

“He did his best to hide it.” Sonny shrugged.

“Why would he do that?” you questioned curious.

“I guess, he assumed if he asked you out that you wouldn’t go for it.” he suggested.

“Why?” you prompted.

“Well you might have noticed but you two are complete opposites. He’s this supper serious super sarcastic lawyer and you’re this funny eccentric doctor. On paper you guys don’t work but in practise you guys balance each other out. He calms you down and you help him let loose.” he explained.

“That actually made sense Dr Carisi.” you nodded knowing what you had to do.

“I learned from the best. What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I’m going go see him and demand he ask me out.” you stated adamantly.

“Fantastic.” Sonny commented.


“Me and Fin got a bet going about when you and Barba get together. If you go out now. I win.” he explained.

“Is this why you’re telling me this?” you suspected.

“Maybe. Just go.” he ushered.

You chuckled as you left the station and headed to Barba’s office. It was late by the time you got their but you knew he’d still be their working. His assistant had left so you just wandered in and hovered in the doorway. He had a pen in his mouth, his head down as he flicked through a file.

You’d always liked Barba. He was one of those sarcastic and brooding types which you didn’t usually go for. You usually went for people more like you which usually got you in trouble. You’d never thought Barba would like someone like you. You assumed he’d like those sophisticated well established types that were serious like him. You watched him work and smile.

“Hey Barbra.” you greeted leaning against the doorway with a smile.

“Dr Y/L/N. What are you doing here?” he asked looking up surprised to see you.

“It’s nice to see you too and call me Y/N or Y/N/N or you could even give a pet name like I have for you Barbra.” you chuckled walking in and taking a seat in front of him.

“I’m good with Y/N. Why are you here, Y/N?” he asked once again.

“Because, I heard something today and i wanted to know if it was true or not.” you explained in basic term.

“Alright..” he said confused.

‘Do you smile Rafael?” you asked bluntly.

“Of course I smile, Y/N. Everyone does.” he answered.

“Do you ever smile because of me?” you asked sincerely.

“All the time.” he admitted looking up and staring at you.

“So you smile because of me but you don’t ever smile around me.” you deducted sadly.

“It’s not like that Y/N.” he sighed.

“Do you like me?” you asked bluntly once again.

“Of course. I do…” he began.

“In a romantic way?” you interrupted.

“You sure you want to know the answer?” he asked looking for a reassurance.

“Yeah.” you clarified.

“Yes and that’s why I try to be serious around you because I know…” he began before trailing off.

“Because I know you wouldn’t go for a guy like me.” he continued sadly.

“Why would you think that?” you probed.

“Because you’re you and I’m me.” he attempted to explain but he was lost for words.

“So?” you commented.

“So I know you probably don’t like guys…Do you like me?” he started before stopping himself realising what you were getting at.

You suddenly leaned across the table, grabbed his tie, pulled him in and kissed him. In one swift motion. You broke away after a few.. a lot of seconds.

“Does that answer your question?” you asked.

“Yeah…” he choked out completely shocked.

“Now ask me out for a drink.” you ordered.

“What?” he asked still shocked.

“Ask me out for a drink before I ask you because I will take you to a karaoke bar and my first song will be Beaty and the Beast but the revised version Barba and Clariece.” you giggled.

“Y/N, would you like to go get a drink?” he asked smirking at you.

“Yes, I would.” you answered standing up.

“Great.” he smiled at you, standing up and grabbing his coat.

“So that’s what you look like when you smile. I must say your very handsome when you smile ADA Barba.” you complimented gazing at him.

“Well thank you. You ready to go?” he asked still smiling.

‘Why yes. Yes I am.” you responded as you linked arms with him and walked out the door.

Montlex and Alex’s 10 Ways To Calm Monty Down

Request: Oh my god, I love the alex + monty dating headcanon, so cute *.* could you please do Alex and Monty with something like Alex’s 10 (or whatever number) ways to calm Monty down whenever he gets angry (during dating i guess)?


A/N: I loved this request, I hope you like my headcanons just as much! Sorry for the delay :)


Warnings: Mention of sexual themes, Mention of impending violence.


Montlex and Alex’s 10 Ways To Calm Monty Down…

  • Getting sassy with him. It’s a certified way to gain and keep Monty’s attention- by back-chatting. Monty ends up stunned, or arguing back at his boyfriend or sometimes even getting turned on, regardless, things become all about Alex when he gets sassy.


  • Threatening no sex. Nothing has anything been so effective in calming Monty down quickly. He’ll huff and groan, but he’ll give up on whatever he was doing anyway,
  • Going along with the one above, whispering something dirty in his ear. It depends on who’s around and where they are, but it’s also guaranteed to be effective. Monty ends up an emotional mess going so quickly between feelings, but Alex makes up for it later.

  • Digging his fingers into Monty’s hips. If it’s safe enough to get that close to Monty, then Alex will press the two of them together and dig his fingers into the sides of Monty’s hips. It’s a sure way to turn Monty on, but it’s also guaranteed to take his mind of an impending fight. Monty absolutely loves when Alex’s fingers are scratching against his skin, no matter where on his body they are.
  • A kiss. This one is mostly just used during their personal fights, but can also be effective at school- as long as they don’t have a crowd. Monty will continue trying to argue through the kisses, but Alex doesn’t have to work too hard before Monty just gives up and kisses him back.

  • It’s embarrassing, but Alex threatens to text Monty’s Mum. Monty doesn’t want his Mum to worry about him, so he usually finds a way to avoid talking about his fights or make up some story that makes it seem like it wasn’t his fault. He just doesn’t want to disappoint her.
  • Putting on his motherly voice. Alex has a soft and sweet voice that is guaranteed to calm Monty down.

  • Along with the one above, Alex knows just what to say to defuse the situation. He’ll sweetly whisper compliments and reassuring comments in Monty’s ear while he gently pulls him away from a situation.
  • Taking Monty’s hand. Alex is like his anchor, so when Monty’s angry and Alex is right there he feels like he has to calm down, because he’s scared he’ll end up hurting Alex. Monty will always squeeze his hand back while he steps away from a situation, and Alex will smile proudly at him while Monty caresses his thumb.

  • Pleading. Alex hates when Monty gets in a fight, because he’s always so scared that Monty will one day get hurt. If Alex is really worried he will straight up voice his concerns, and Monty feels guilty and becomes too wrapped up in comforting Alex even remember what he was angry about.

Request | Requests Queue | Masterlist

I want to wrap myself in her curly brown hair

So many years by myself; thinking, writing, coping.
“If your pig whore mother wouldn’t have ruined my fucking life I wouldn’t be like this Emma.
Too many weeks in bed, sick, alone, hoping for some form of acknowledgement, some form of pride.
“You and your dad must be really close since he raised you alone!”
So long behind closed doors learning to shut the world out as a defence mechanism because every time I opened it all that I viewed was terror ad the eyes of greed.
“You’re lying through your fucking teeth, what did you tell your mother, what do you know”
I wish I could describe my stomach; open, empty, craving for someone to pay attention to the fact that I was not okay!!!
There were so many signs!!!!
How can you ignore them?
“I guess he gets a little angry sometimes but who doesn’t right?”
I grew up faster than anyone I knew because I HAD to.
I had to take care of me.
I had to look our for me because nobody else was.
Caught in a war of what felt like opposing worlds when I was too little to understand the concept of hate.
But I felt it
In every single bone in my tiny body.
I was surrounded by it.
So I grew up an I learned about all the things I needed to in order to survive the hell I was living.
I suppose It made me who I am.
I suppose it made me ready to find something to grasp with both hands and decide to never let it leave me like everything else.

I’m older now, I understand more and I am no longer constrained to a house where the only answer was to hide and I found what I needed.
I found the thing I need to stay strong for and fight for and use all I have learned to be with.
And she’s so pretty.
She’s so fucking lovely from the inside to the surface and I love her.
Oh my god do I love her and I spend every day stopping myself from screaming at the top of my lungs just how much I do because I don’t want to wake the neighbours.
It hits me in the morning when I wake to find her beautiful face not beside mine.
It hits me in the afternoon when I get a second coffee and walk home and she isn’t there to listen to the birds and complain about the heat.
It hits me at night when I cant snuggle her up and tell her just how lucky I feel every single day.
How grateful.
How in awe I am of everything she is and how much I mean it when I say that she is my forever,
And if she takes my hand I swear I will do everything I can to protect her and grow.
She is the sweetest thing I have ever seen and I want to wrap myself in her curly brown hair

The School Play (Daveed x Reader)

A/N: I have been facing writers block and a lack of motivation. This isn’t the best but I feel kinda okay about it so I hope you enjoy! Also im gonna try to upload weekly, so make sure to send me requests and again sorry if it sucks its 3 am lol

TW: bad words…idk if there’s anything else but if there is let me know!

W/C: 945

You had always been a pretty shy and reserved person. The only time that wasn’t entirely true was when you were around your best friend, Daveed Diggs. He always brought the most courageous side out of you. He had gotten you to do some crazy things in the past, but this had been the craziest thing by far. He made you audition for a play with him, and here was the craziest part: you two got important roles. Not only did you get big roles, but your characters had to kiss.

Now, this wouldn’t really be too big of a problem if it wasn’t for a few issues.

1.)  You had never had your first kiss.

2.)  You had always had this tiny inkling of a crush on Daveed because, I mean, look at him.

Daveed was absolutely gorgeous. His pearly white smile could light up all of New York City. His soft curls seemed to go on for miles. His laugh and voice sounded like music to your ears. He was everything you wanted in a boyfriend. It’s not that you thought you were ugly; you knew you were beautiful. The problem was that every girl in school had a crush on Daveed, and you had watched every single girl swoon over him while he just shrugged them off. You two had become very close, and you became his confidant when it came to relationships, not that he had been in many to begin with. He would go on a few dates, but he never really stayed with a girl for too long which you never understood…

The rehearsals for the play had been going on for weeks, but you hadn’t kissed Daveed yet as your director had told you to just skip it. It was now opening night, and you were in your costume waiting for the play to start, visibly freaking out. You loved acting and theater so being front of an audience wasn’t a problem for you. The problem was that you were about to have your first kiss in front of an audience with your best friend who you couldn’t let yourself have feelings for because he’d never feel the same way.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…” you mumbled under your breath, as you paced around backstage.

You suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder and turned to see Daveed, smiling at you.

“Are you ready?”

“Me? Ready? Of course not.” He laughed at your response and you fought the urge to kiss him right there on the spot.

“Daveed, there’s a problem.” You said, staring at the ground.

“What’s wrong, (Y/N)?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes filled with concern.

“Okay, look. This is a little embarrassing but I haven’t exactly had my first kiss yet…” you responded, still facing the ground.


“Wow?” you asked, slightly offended.

“No, no, no, I didn’t mean that in a bad way… it’s just that… I can’t believe you haven’t had your first kiss yet.”

“Well, you better believe it because it’s true and now I’m terrified because I don’t want my first kiss to be so public.”

Daveed thought for a second until his face lit up when he thought of something. He carefully looked around to make sure no one was around and then put your hands in his. You looked up at him, confused.

“Okay consider this: what if I kissed you right now? Your first kiss would be with someone you trust, and it wouldn’t be in front of a hundred people.” He said, searching your face for a reaction.

“I don’t know, Daveed… I don’t want to make you kiss me more than you have to…”

“God, (Y/N), you really are oblivious.” You whipped your head up to look at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve literally liked you since kindergarten. I’ve spent all of this time pining over you, and you have just refused to notice it. Why do you think I haven’t ever had more than 3 dates with a girl? Why do you think I asked you to audition for this play with me? (Y/N)… I have known from the moment I met you that first day in kindergarten that you’re special, which I’m now realizing sounds super lame and cliché but oh well. You’re beautiful and smart and funny and charming and talented and I know you might not feel the same way, but I just had to get this off my chest.”

You had to take a second to process what he said because he had raced through all of it.

“So you’re telling me… I could have had my first kiss forever ago?”  Daveed rolled his eyes at you and smiled.

“I confess my love for you, and you’re worried about that?”

He held your chin up with his hand and moved closer to you slowly until his lips ghosted over yours. He slowly started pressing his lips harder against yours and your lips moved in sync as if you had done this with him before. He pulled away, but kept his forehead against yours.

“How’d I do for my first time, D?” you said your eyes still closed as you breathed in his scent.

“You could use some work,” he said, causing your eyes to widen and you started to get angry. Before you could punch him, he continued, “I guess I’ll have to give you some private lessons.” He finished, smirking.

“Do I recall that you said you confessed your love?” you said with a shit-eating grin.

Suddenly, Daveed’s cheeks heated up, and he was lost for words.

“I love you, too, Diggs” you smiled, intertwining your fingers with his.

The Radar Technician {Matt X Reader}

Originally posted by effietrxnket

Matt is a Kylo Ren undercover - he goes to see how his workers perform. However his eye lands on Y/N when she offers to help him re-wire the calcinator

“Does that look like the calcinator to you?” The woman snapped in front of Matt.

“Miss,” you spoke up, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll take it from here. Go and have your muffin love.”

“Thanks Y/N,” she grinned and ran away to get her muffin, which was when you bent down to the blonde’s eyeline.

“Hi!” You smiled, “I’m Y/N, and you must be new.

Matt just stared at you, unable to speak due to how nervous he was. “I erm…I’m uh-I’m M-Matt. I’m the new, um-”

“Radar Technician,” you finished, looking into his eyes but noticing the creeping blush on his cheeks.

“Y-Yeah!” He stuttered quickly, averting his gaze from your eyes to the floor.

“Here, let me help you rewire the calcinator before muffin lady comes back,” you chuckled and placed your hand on his and guided him to the calcinator. Matt looked at your hand on top of his and then looked at your face. You smiled at him, “this is calcinator, you just…” And then you showed him how to rewire it however the whole time you was explaining, ‘Matt’ couldn’t help but stare at you. “There, all done.” You smiled standing up and grabbing his hand to help him up.

“I erm, thanks,” he muttered, his entire body shaking with nerves. He’d never seen you before. “So, erm, what’s your job here?”

“I don’t really have a job, I just attend to Hux’s personal needs,” You mumbled causing Matt’s eyes to widen.

“You sleep with the General?” Matt asked, rather angrily (from Kylo’s point of view).

“No,” you chuckled, tapping Matt’s shoulder. “I’m more of his personal assistant. Like, bringing him coffee and making sure he doesn’t over work himself.”

“Tch,” Matt scoffed silently so you couldn’t hear him.

“You hungry? I’m starving, acompany me to lunch Matt the Radar Technician,” you smiled with a wink and linked your arm with his causing his heart to beat rapidly. Everything about you was perfect, he was flustered the moment he saw you. And then when you placed your hand on his, he saw stars. Kylo hadn’t had human contact in a long time, but he knew he couldn’t keep up this Matt façade for long, or could he? No, he couldn’t. Well, he could, but you’re relationship would be on lies. He didn’t want that.

You both sat down with your lunches and you began to eat, however Matt played with his food and looked up at you. “Hey, erm, Y/N?” He asked, causing you to look up from your food with a mouthful of it, knowing he had your full attention, he cleared his throat and began with his question. “What do you think of Commander Ren? I mean, Kylo Ren, I mean-”

“Kylo? I don’t know, I feel sorry for him. He seems so angry and lonely,” you whispered, Matt nodded in agreement, she was right. Kylo was angry and lonely. “He scares me a bit, when gets angry, but I guess he can’t help it. At least he doesn’t bottle his anger up, he just goes about letting off steam the wrong way.”

“What would be the right way?” Matt asked, taking in every word you said.

“Talking to someone I suppose?” You asked rhetorically, causing Matt to nod. “I’ve never seen him without his mask on either, but to be honest, Hux tries to keep me away from Kylo in case he hurts me.”

“He wouldn’t hurt you,” Matt blurted out, his eyes widening as he did. “I mean, I don’t think he would hurt you, you’ve done nothing wrong to him.”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, grasping Matt’s hand from across the table. “I don’t know what I think about the man, but what I do know is, I want to be able to help him.”

“Then go help him,” Matt said, a grin on his face.

“He doesn’t know I exist. Plus, he might think I’m accusing him of something I’m not and then, what if he hurts me Matt?” You whispered to him, your heart stuck in your throat as your eyes began to burn with tears at the rim.

“Y/N? Y/N? Are you okay?” Matt asked as he squoze your hand, panic hit him as he noticed you were having a panic attack. He stood up quickly and helped you up, “Y/N breath with me okay? What room are you in?”

“T-Twenty-Three,” you muttered as you took in deep breaths and tried to follow Matt and grabbing at his hands. once you reached your quarters, you walked to the bathroom gasping for air and put your jogging bottoms on and a tank top before walking back out to see Matt sat on the edge of your bed still looking worried.

“Come lie down,” Matt said patting your bed with a slight sad smile. You nodded and climbed into bed, Matt pulled the duvet on you and kissed your forehead. “Just rest okay?” You nodded and closed your eyes as Matt went to leave.

“Matt?” You asked, opening your eyes and looking at Matt who was just about to open the door to leave. “Lay with me please?”

Matt blushed and nodded timidly, “s-sure.” He walked over to your bed and climbed into the other side, pulling you closer to him with his strong arms. He rested his head on your shoulder and kissed your cheek, his heart beating rapidly as his finger circling shapes on your covered up stomach. “Y/N?” He asked, causing you to hum in response, “what happened back there?”

“I’ve erm, i had a boyfriend once who was abusive to me. He really, really hurt me, I tried to help him but, he just, he wouldn’t change…” A tear fell down your face, you sniffled up and turned to face Matt who was looking at you with sad eyes.

“I-I’m sorry that happened to you,” he whispered, “I wouldn’t hurt you, I promise.”

“Matt,” you whispered, looking into his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

“K-Kiss m-me?” Matt stuttered. Kissing was new to Kylo, he hadn’t been kissed, he hadn’t slept with someone and he certainly hadn’t had a girlfriend.

“I’m sorry that was very forward of me, just forget it - mmmph,” you started, but was muffled when Matt placed his plump lips on yours and kissed you softly.

“Y/N…” Matt mumbled as he pulled away from you, his face red and his hands shaking. “I need to tell you something…” You cocked your head to the side and looked at him curiously, propping yourself up on your elbow. “I-I’m not Matt…”

“Well then who are you?” You asked, slightly scared.

‘Matt’ pulled his wig off and took of his glasses and looked at you. His black hair was messy but beautiful and he looked down then back into your eyes. “I’m Kylo Ren.”

not a request but did it anyway.

I’ve left it open for another part of anyone wants it? Idk if anyone likes this though so, just if you want a second part let me know as a request :)

be patient, I have a lot of requests ♥️


Sonic 06 jokes are entertaining, but at this point after reading, hearing, watching videos and playing the game myself (I have yet to fully complete it), it is just tiring to see new content on the game. 

Yes, Sonic 06 is bad, yes the glitches are hilarious, we get it, but as a Sonic fan to me it is just getting old

What can you possibly say about the game at this point that no one else has?

Imagine classmate!Woozi constantly asking to borrow things from you. When you snapped at him for always asking for things, he shyly admits that it’s because he needs a reason to talk to you.

Don´t you ever do that again.

#9 Don´t you ever do that again.

So guys, I´m glad you liked my storys so far.
This one shot is another Dean X Reader one and I already finished another one of these, in which a smutty scene would fit in nicely.
But I´m not sure if I should start writing smut, because I´m not against writing it and I like storys with modest smut myself, but I don´t know what you guys think, so please let me know.

Originally posted by sweetpea9873

(Those eyes *_*)


“I´m sure he´s fine”, Sam said, trying to calm you, but it didn´t work.
You were worried sick.
“How can you know that? For all I know he went into some Vamp Nest all alone and got himself killed.”
Dean hadn´t been home for hours now and it already felt like an eternity.
When you woke up this morning, he had been already gone, leaving only a note saying: “Just taking care of something.”
You and Sam couldn´t guess what he meant by it because you weren´t working on a case right now and that meant you couldn´t go after him.
The first three hours you had just been mad about the fact that he left without thinking, being the hothead he always was, but after six hours you had started to call every single cell he had.
No one answered.

What the hell was he thinking?
“Oh and for the record, if he actually comes back alive, I´m going to kill him”, you hissed.
Sam just shrugged: “You don´t even know if he´s out to do something dangerous.”
You were now pacing up and down the small room, thinking of all the bad things that could have happened to him: “He always does something dangerous.”
Of course you knew that
he was good, but…

Suddenly the door burst open and Dean came walking in, looking just fine, not a single scratch on him.
Despite the fact that you almost burst out in tears out of relief, you immediately started shouting: “Where the hell have you been?”
Dean held up both hands in obvious surprise: “Wow calm down, I just went to get the leak in the oil tank fixed, what´s the matter?”

You looked at Sam, who made an I-told-you-so face and you didn´t know whether to die of embarassment or to kill Sam for being a smartass.
Instead of doing one of the above, you turned around to Dean: “Why did it took you six hours to get your oil tank fixed.”
“I stopped for pie”,he said and looked kinda confused now.
And you couldn´t blame him. At least you freaked out completely about nothing.
“Oh”, you just said and stared at him.
 "Why do you seem so freaked out?“, Dean asked the inevitable question.

Sam cleared his throat: "I´m grabbing dinner.”
He shot you one last knowing look and then left.
Dean cocked an eyebrow at you: “(Y/N), what´s going on?”
“I… uhm… I was worried about you”, you mumbled, already feeling yourself blush.
He seemed even more confused: “Why? I mean I left a note which…”
“…could have meant anything”, you couldn´t stop yourself from saying.
“I still don´t get it”, he stated and suddenly you got angry again: “Well, I guess that´s your problem Dean Winchester. You simply don´t get it.”

“Yeah, what was "it” again?“

You could have punched him but instead you shouted: "I like you Dean. I like you a lot. As in I´m in love with you.”
His face fell and you immediately wished you´d never said anything, but it was too late. Now it was out and there was no going back.
When he kept quiet for a full minute you felt like you were about to faint but then suddenly he grinned: “Oh that. I knew that.”
And then you really punched him, right in the chest.
“Ow, I guess I deserve that.”
“You sure as hell do”, you said and then you just kissed him, simply because it felt like the right thing to do and he returned your kiss hot and passionately and it felt exactly like you had imagined it to be so often.
After a few seconds you broke apart and he laid his forehead on yours: “And all that because I stopped for pie”, he whispered.
You smiled: “Yeah, don´t you ever do that again Dean Winchester, you understand me?”
He grinned: “You don´t want me to stop for pie ever again?”
Instead of an answer you kissed him again.

Title: Natalie McAllister, Queen of Hell

Rating: PG:13, natan

Summary: When meeting with an agent of death, natalie recieves new information of what her tattoos mean, plus she and satan dicuss their future children 

A/N: this is so dumb but i like it. c: also my take on what the tattoos could possibly mean :0

The sun was setting fast and Natalie grew very impatient, she had no idea how long her and Lucifer would be out and she had no idea who Lucifer was trying to meet with.

As usual he wouldn’t tell her anything.

They were in a sketchy looking park past dark with only a few eerie street lamps to provide illumination.

“Hey, you do know I have school tomorrow?” she reminded him.  

“Shut it.” He sighed.

She pursed her lips, he seemed like he was in a bad mood.

Keep reading

Due to Sonic and Knuckles’ aversions to relationships and either choosing to ignore when characters hit on them or genuinely not noticing, it’s likely they are aromantic or asexual, which is pretty damn cool.  The evidence is all too noticeable in Sonic’s case but when Rouge teases/hits on Knuckles, he doesn’t get shy, he just looks really uncomfortable and immediately gets angry at her. I guess it’s likely he feels pressured by her sexual attitude and doesn’t quite know how to handle it.

tommogirl88  asked:

SASUSAKU 24 & 29 :)

Send me a prompt and a pairing, and I’ll write you a oneshot! :)

rating: T
prompt: 24. literally bumping into each other AU 

How cliché, she thinks as she drops to her knees and begins picking up her fallen library books. It’s partially her fault, of course, for choosing a near-towering pile of books to bring home with her, but it’s totally a little bit his fault for, y’know, being so good looking.

If he hadn’t been so cute, with his pretty dark eyes, and his messy black hair, if he hadn’t been so tall, and hadn’t been walking in her direction with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, they wouldn’t be in this mess. She would have been watching where she was going. She wouldn’t have bumped into him, successfully spilling her books all over the library floor, and he wouldn’t have been forced to sit along side her, gathering up her things.

Well, she thinks with a dreamy little sigh as she watches him more than the books she would be gathering, he doesn’t have to help her. It’s absolutely his choice to come down with her to the floor and help rebuild her pile. 

Really, what an archetype, she thinks again. Two people meet in a library, the girl is carrying too many books, and the boy is subsequently distracted by her charming, good looks (really). They make their way down the library aisles, and fall into each other. Her books cascade all over the floor, they apologize while cleaning up together, and then he asks for her number while looking at her like she’s the only girl in the world.

What a nice cliché, she thinks.

Until he opens his mouth.

“You need to watch where you’re going,” he snaps as they stand up, shoving whatever books he stacked on top of the pile in her hands. 

She’s taken aback immediately, eyes widening. “E-Excuse me?”

He snorts unattractively. “You heard me. Keep your eyes open. I have better things to do than help some stupid girl pick up her damn books.”

An embarrassed blush rises to her cheeks, or so he thinks. She takes a step backward, eyebrows furrowed. “What did you just say to me?”

Really, she can’t believe what’s happening.

“Are you deaf, too?” he questions, eyebrow raised. 

The blush on her cheek deepens substantially, nearly to the color of her petal pink hair. Her eyes sparkle with something he can’t quite put his fingers on, her bottom lip quivering slightly.

“Because if that’s true,” he says. “That’s really too bad. Deaf and stupid? You must be a piece of work.”

She looks down at the pile in her hands, pulling her eyes away from his line of sight. She’s shaking a little, and he almost feels bad; she’ll cry, probably, and whine about the mean man who told her off today, but that’s really not his problem.  She should stop be such a baby, he thinks, and pull her head out of her ass, too, while she’s at it. 

He wants to tell her that she can’t skate through life on the assumption that everybody will be nice to her, that everybody will forgive her because she’s a little pink-haired thing, because she’s cute. She can’t just bump into people, nearly throw her books at them, and then walk off like nothing ever happened.

A second later, a little sigh escapes her mouth, and she begins walking. He thinks to maybe say something, to tell her that it wasn’t actually such a big deal, and that maybe he’s a little sorry for being so harsh, but he decides against it. He simply let’s her walk past him.

That is, until, she bumps into him again.

Actually, it’s not quite a bump, per se. It’s more of a shove, really, that sends him flying almost a foot away. He stumbles backward, nearly falling on his ass, before catching himself. With a fierce scowl on his face, he nearly yells, “What the fuck, woman? Watch where you’re—” but she interrupts him.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” she calls out, looking up from her pile of books. She’s still red, but she’s not crying. He realizes, almost immediately, that she wasn’t blushing, but getting angry. “I guess I should watch where I’m going!”

His eyebrows immediately knit in confusion. “Hey, wait a second—”

“Stupid me, I guess!” she yells, and shrugs her shoulders dramatically. “I’m just a dumb idiot who does dumb things, apparently!”

He fixes her with a glare. “You can’t just do that—”

“Sorry, can’t hear you!” She matches his glare with a one of her own, and he notices how pretty her green eyes are. “I’m deaf, too, remember? Can’t hear a word you’re saying!”

He takes a step toward her, clearly towering over her, an angry look on his face, but she doesn’t back down. He’s not sure whether he should be impressed or not. “You can’t just shove people.”

A look of disbelief crosses her face, and all she can think is he cannot be serious. “Are you joking? This must be a joke. Am I being punk’d?”

His eyes narrow. “What?”

“You’re the one calling random people names!” she accuses. “I don’t even know you! Where do you get off calling me stupid—”

“You were being stupid—”

“You pompous, arrogant, ugh!” She shakes her head, pink hair flying around her. “Who do you think you are!?

“Who do you think you are!?” he counters, and they both don’t even know how they’ve managed to get so close to each other, the only thing creating space being the heaving pile of books in her tiny hands.

They stay like that for a moment, staring at each other, fixing each other with glares that could make the toughest of men quiver, when they’re interrupted by a loud cough.

Sakura is the first to turn toward the voice, and immediately her glare fades. “Oh, uh, hi, there—”

“What exactly do you two think you’re doing?” the invader asks, scowling. “This is a library, not a wrestling ring.”

Sasuke shoves a hand in the back of his hair, a nervous habit. “Yeah, well, she started it—”

“I did not—”

“Oh yeah? One what planet—?”

“I don’t care who started it,” the librarian interrupts angrily. “But I’m ending it, and one of you is going to have to leave.”

They turn their gazes from the librarian to each other once again, and Sakura speaks, “Fine by me.” She drops her books at the boy in front of her’s feet, and they splatter around him in a mess. He has half a mind to smirk before anything else. “I’m out of here.”

He watches her stalk off toward the doors, an angry mess of pink. He does smirk this time, eyebrows raised in amusement, before being interrupted once again.

“You’re going to clean this up, right?”

He sighs. 

Pitifully In Love - Austin Carlile
could you do one where y/n is in love with Austin (Omam) but all he does is use her for sex whenever he’s upset? You decide the ending, please and thank you :)

I hope you like it and that it isn’t too messy c: there isn’t any smut, so I hope you like it c:

Lonely, I’m in my living room at an early time in the morning. I’m sitting here thinking about anything I possibly can. But my thoughts linger to a man that always consumed my thoughts late at night: Austin. I met him when I was twenty-two, working at a tattoo parlour. Ever since then I dedicated my heart to him. I’m now twenty-five, and I feel the same. And he knows it. You heard, Austin knows about the way I feel. He knows how much I care about him. And what does he do about it? He uses me for sex.

He comes and goes as he pleases, and I’ll dedicate myself to him willingly every time. I’ll do anything for him to be mine, even if it is only for a short period of time.

It’s stupid, I know. I’ll give my body to a man who supposedly loves me whenever he asks for it. But that’s not the worst of it. The worst is that he has a girlfriend, Alana. She is drop dead gorgeous and perfect, everything about her is, but the two still had issues, major issues.

They argue nearly every other night, and Austin will have sex with me then sleep at mine. At least, I think he does. Whenever I wake up the next day, he’s gone, and not a trace of him is left behind. If I’m lucky, the addicting smell of his cologne would’ve sunk into my pillow. I’m pitifully in love with him, it’s a disaster.

Of course, when Austin leaves the next day I become a mess. I spend most of it laying somewhere aimlessly in my house, hating myself for what I did and drown in my own tears. Before Austin, I never let any man take advantage of me, I was strong willed. But, I swear to my heart, he was different.

Disrupting my thinking is a knock on the door, and my first thought is: oh no. Sometimes I wish I could ignore Austin, sometimes I wish I could just resist the urge of having to see him when he needs me. However, I’m in trance and I open it for him.

“Y/N.” Austin says my name as he sees me open the door. I stare into his eyes, and the look of desperation hits me right in the heart. It stings me to see him like this. “Can I come in?” He asks, titling his head. Nodding, I step aside and allow him to enter my living room.

“Do you want a drink?” I ask, usually he likes to get hammered when he’s upset and comes over. But, he shakes his head. “No, I’m fine.” He says as he settles on my couch. “Okay.” I smile but frown inside. I take a place next to him and wait for him to talk.

“What’s up?” I ask, sucking on my gum. “It’s Alana.” He muttered. “She cheated on me, again. I found her with her ex and they were…” His voice fades. He looks upset, but he’s not crying. Being the proud man he is, he never cries. He always tries to be strong, and that’s one of the reasons why I love him. Running his hand through his hair, he begins to speak again. “Then, then she accused me of cheating. She completely turned it around against me, like I was the only one who’s done wrong. When I’m the one who caught her fucking her ex in our house.” He clenches his jaw. He can get angry, but maintains calmness. “I mean… Yeah. I, I guess I am…” He nods his head in my direction. “But, but that’s with you… It’s different because it’s you… You understand.” He uses the same excuse each time why it’s okay that he cheats: that it’s different with me. I don’t fully understand why it justifies his actions, but I usually never interrupt him.

"Can we, can we go to your bedroom?” Austin asks me, of course being he idiot I am, I always accept. “Sure.” I smile. I take his hand and lead it up the stairs into my bedroom like he’s a small boy.

An Hour Later

Clinging on to Austin’s warm body, I feel lost in desire. As every other time, he pleasured me in several ways, knowing how every inch of my body worked. But tonight was different; Austin was gentle, much more gentle than normal. Each time he thrusted in me it was filled with passion, not just pure lust. And I loved it. I didn’t know what, but something was up. However, I didn’t want to ask, I just wanted to stay in this moment forever. “I love you.” He breathes, reading my exact thoughts. His voice was a luxurious tone. Looking up into his dark eyes, I blush, something about the way he glanced at me, it was as if he was admiring me. “I love you too.” I smile against his warm chest. I never want this moment to end - ever. “There is gonna be a change here.” He murmurs huskily as my eyes slowly shut. I don’t know what he means, but I’m too busy dozing off to ask.

The Next Morning

Cold, lonely and desperate, I lay by myself once again in my bed. I’m clutching on to my pillow, hoping it will soak up my pathetic tears. I’ve been here for about an hour or two - I don’t know.

I let that dickhead take advantage of me. Why? Because I’m just a needy whore. Maybe if I wasn’t so desperate I’d have some self respect.

He left. Again. He’s used me and ditched me. I’m all alone in bed, as usual. My heart is choking me, I feel like I’m going to be strangled by death. My tears are never ending, they just keep coming and coming. It hurts. Real bad.

This time is hit me hard. How lonely I’m going to be. The man I’m hopelessly in love with doesn’t care about me. Not in the slightest. Last night… He gave me hope. He gave me hope that maybe this isn’t just heartless sex, that he isn’t using me. That maybe there was going to be a change. He was so benevolent, careful, he made love to me like I was a delicate item, worth thousands to him. Of course, that’s all I was. An item. Something he could pick up then drop whenever he pleases. I wanted to punch myself for being so stupid, giving myself to this weak excuse for a human being.

That’s when I heard the front door go. Bloody post. Carelessly, I trudged down the stairs to the door. I didn’t give my mirror a glance, may as well give me and the postman a heart attack. But boy was I the one most startled.

“Y/N,” Austin breathes as he sees me. I frown at him in complete and utter disgust. “Why is your make up like that? Have you been crying?” He asks, tilting his head. Without permission, he steps in and rubs this thumb under my eyes. It’s covered in black smudge. My eyeliner is probably padding all around my eyes making me look like a panda. I do my best to resist falling in to the temptation of his touch, and I flinch away. “What’s wrong? I thought you would be happy to see me?” He cocks an eyebrow.

Happy?“ I repeat, I can feel my temper about to flair. "Why in hell would I be happy to see you?” I yell at him. Austin looks fairly startled and I don’t blame him, he’s never heard me yell before. “Because, cause I thought you and me, we were-” I interrupt him. “Were what, Austin? We are nothing. All I am to you is a stupid little fuck you when you’re upset. To me, oh you mean the fucking world, my heart fucking beats for you. And you know that. But you don’t give the slightest shit.” The volume of my voice decreases with every word and it turns into a whisper. “You really don’t give a shit about me.” I repeat, looking up into his eyes as I begin to cry.

Enrolling me into a hug, Austin doesn’t say anything. I suspect he has no clue what to do; he’s never seen me cry; he never bothers to come to see me the next morning. His arms pull my waist towards him, his face nuzzled into my neck. Feeling his body move so softly against me, with clothes on, is a first. I can feel his chest inhale and exhale and it’s unbelievably calming. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He murmurs. “I really am, I was just torn between you and Alana.” He adds afterwards, her name is like venom slipping off his tongue. “I love you, I really do.” He says huskily into my ear, and of course, I submit to him. The sweet tone of his voice saying he loves me, how could I resist? “I love you too.” I whimper. I know I’ll hate myself for forgiving him, but I can’t help it.

"Anyway, are you gonna help?” Austin grips on to my shoulders, looking ecstatic. “Uh, with what?” I cock my eyebrow. Stepping aside, he displays some bags, looking like they’re filled with his stuff. “I’ve got my stuff.” He smirks. “Your stuff? For what?” I squint my eyes. “To be here, silly.” He says, grinning. “You… Here…” I stutter, I have no idea what’s running through this idiot’s mind. “You can’t…” I say. “And why’s that? Last night, I told you things were going to change. And they are, starting from today. This morning, I went to Alana’s place, ended things with her, got my stuff and came straight back here. So me and you can be together, where we’re happy. That’s what you wanted, right?” He says, almost proudly. “Yeah…” I rub my neck awkwardly. “But is that what you want? This?” I gesture to myself feeling disappointed with my own body.

He steps closer to me and his hands trail all over my body. “Of course I want you. All of you. You’re beautiful, intelligent. You make me so happy.” He says admiringly. “Yeah, in the bedroom.” I mutter dully. “Y/N, don’t you understand? I didn’t just want you for the sex. I wanted you for you. The way your eyes light up when they see me sets my heart on fire. The way you smile at everything. The way you such bright ideas about the universe late at night when we have little talks.” He listened? “Or the way your hands dance over my chest when you sleep. The way in your sleep when you clutch on to my chest, ugh, I never want you to let go. When your murmur soft ‘I love you’s. And then there’s those rare nights where you have tears falling from your eyes, in your sleep, you cry. I used to never understand. But, a few nights ago, I did. When we did what we did, it made you sad, didn’t it? You hated it, I could tell. I made you feel bad. And I really disliked that in your sleep where you clutch on to my chest, ugh, I never want you to let gofeeling. That’s why I’ve decided to change, I want you to be happy, so we can both be happy together.” He finishes his speech breathtakingly.

Flushing, my cheeks are burning. Everything he just said, it made my heart melt like when fire meets ice. I’m speechless. “And I’m so sorry if I ever made it seem like I didn’t care about you, because I really do… So god damn much.” He adds, his hand brushing my cheekbone. Slowly, his hands travel down to my neck. Smiling sweetly, he brings his lips to mine and we share a kiss.

Diabolik Lovers Limited V Edition SKit tokuten:
看病ドラマCD スバル編

Nursing drama CD - Subaru

Whoah… I’m not used to it anymore. After all those carefree tokuten, translating something like this was pretty hard. Damn you Subaru-kun and your perfect everything. Well, except your afterstory. But that wasn’t your fault. I thought we took a break from all that angst though. But we’re talking about Rejet so you know. Ok, nevermind that. In the yet-to-translate list I’ve put the second tokuten given with the purchase of all the character song CDs and some untranslated tokuten from the first game. Trick or Vampire and the one about the poisoned mushrooms for example. I hope I’ll have enough time.

Well, enjoy it and please don’t mind too much my comments through the translation. I wasn’t able to think properly.


Keep reading

Treading Water

Chester walks into the kitchen with a question on his mind. He’s been thinking about it for days now and figures he should ask before it’s too late. Grace is standing at the counter scrolling through her phone. Chester sits down on the bar stool. “Hey babe” he says. Grace looks up from her phone, her thumb keeping her spot. “Hi” she says and smiles. Chester smiles back and plays with his hands for a second. Grace looks back down at her phone until Chester speaks up again. “Come here” he says. Grace walks over to him, grinning the whole way. It’s been close to a year and she still gets shy walking up to him. He reaches out for her waist and pulls her into him. He leans forward and pecks her softly. “God I’m gonna miss you when you go on tour” he says. Grace smiles and kisses him again, letting it linger for a moment.

Chester is afraid to ruin the moment but he has to say something now or it will eat him up when she’s away. “I need to ask you something” he says. “Mhmm” Grace says. Chester pulls her down onto his lap and plays with the fabric of her shorts. He stares down for a moment and then at the ends of her hair. Grace plays with the hairs at the nape of his neck and waits for him to speak. He continues to play with the fabric of her shorts and then traces the shape of the bruise on her leg. She was always so clumsy and Chester loved that about her. Just another little thing to add to the rest of the list.

….It’s the way she bites her lip when she’s thinking, the way she fiddles with her fingers when she’s speaking, the way she stares off in the middle of a sentence, the way she gets shy like a little kid when I’m close to her, the way her laughter takes over her body, and even the way she holds onto my arm when we walk…

He makes a list in his head while she’s sitting there and forgets what he needs to tell her. She waits patiently. She lightly plays with the lobe of his ear. “Chester” she says. Chester snaps back to reality and clears his throat. He pulls her into him and buries his head into the crook of her neck. He laughs. “I’m afraid to ask” he says. “What’s it about?” she asks. Chester sighs. “Well…” he starts. He runs his hands up and down her legs.

“Where do you want to be in 5 years?” he asks. Grace bites her lip and stares off for a moment. “I don’t know. Maybe have my own TV show, maybe here. I don’t know. I never really have a plan” she says. Chester sighs and scratches his head. “I mean like, life…wise…” he says. “I don’t know. With you hopefully. I think that would be ideal” she says. Chester is quiet for a moment. He needs to get to the point but can kind of feel that she knows what he’s getting at. “Were you hoping for a different answer?” she asks, playing with collar of his shirt. “No..I don’t know. I guess that’s what I expected..” he says. He stares at the floor for a moment. “Is this about getting married?” she asks. Chester’s heart starts to beat fast and it all of a sudden becomes really hot where they are.
“Yea..” he says faintly. Grace sighs and adjust the way she’s sitting. “Well all I can tell you is that..right now I don’t think kids and marriage are really in the cards for me..but that doesn’t mean they’re totally out of the question..and it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, okay?” she says. Chester nods. “Ok. I just..I umm” he stutters. He plays with her shorts again and tries to get his thoughts together. “So..wh–” he starts. “Where is this going?” Grace asks. Chester nods. “Yea..”. “I mean..I think we’re fine the way we are right now. I don’t want to tell you anything and get your hopes up and then it turns out to be something else. I would love to tell you we are going to get married and have a bunch of kids, but I can’t promise those kinds of things to you” she says. “This isn’t a 24 hours thing for me though. I want you. Everyday” she says. Chester nods. He had a little different set up in his head but as long as she was honest with him he couldn’t complain. He guessed.

….The way she get angry when I mess with her when she’s sleeping, the way she is up giggling drunk off her ass, the way she challenges me to drink, the way she kisses me when I’m mad at her, the way she cuddles up to me after an argument, the way she leaves during an argument, the way she tries to block my path when I try to walk away, the way she calms me when I’m angry, the way she stares at me trying to get in my head…

Chester goes quiet for a moment and Grace tries to read him. She gets off of his lap and stands up, adjusting her shorts and shirt. Chester looks at her and then at the floor. At this point Grace thinks maybe she messed up and said the wrong thing. She waits for Chester to speak and he stays quiet. She starts to feel bad. “I’m sorry” she says, almost a whisper. She can feel the tears coming to her eyes as the thought of her losing Chester now fills her head. She would’ve been okay if she just told him yes. Yes to marriage, yes to kids, yes to a 5 year future. But she didn’t and she ruined the plans. She has to walk away before the tears fall from her eyes and make their way down her face.

….The way he smiles at me when I catch him staring, the way he pulls me into him when I try to fight him, the way he kisses the back of my neck when he wants something, the way he calls me out when he catches me staring, the way he fumbles with my clothing when is trying to tell me something serious, the way he tries to be silly when I’m upset, the way he pouts, the way he still gets shy when I catch him in just his underwear, the way he tries not to act clingy when we go out with friends, the way he tells me he misses me even when I’m across the room….

Chester just sits there in deep thought as he watches her walk off. He doesn’t know what to say or do. He doesn’t feel heartbroken or sad so why can’t he bring himself to tell her that. Why couldn’t he just not ask her? He would’ve been okay if he just didn’t ask. If he just told her to come here, pulled her down on his lap, and held her because he missed her. He would’ve been okay but now he’s ruined it and she isn’t sitting there anymore.

She sits on the edge of the bed and thinks about what just happened. I should have said yes. I should have been working today and he wouldn’t have time to ask me. I should have been working and I wouldn’t have had time to make a movie and he wouldn’t have time to ask me to dinner and I wouldn’t have time to say yes. I should have found him less attractive and I wouldn’t have to urge to be around him. I should have said no to begin with. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him as hard as I did. Fuck.

Grace gets up and goes to the door to apologize and change her mind to try and fix things but can’t bring herself to open the door.

Chester stands on the other side of the door ready to tell her not to be sorry and that he loved her no matter what. They were just fine. He reaches up but can’t bring himself to knock on the door.

So she walks away and lays down on the bed.

So he walks away, grabs his keys, and goes for a drive.

Part 2 coming soon